it's just as well i never liked the set up anyway
i looked around it's time to re-arrange the furniture
not finally passed the point of crying
how's the apartment
and the scattered moments of connection with someone new
when we were fucking at least i looked at you
i told myself i wouldn't stay no matter how good you are in other ways
can't make big plans to make me stay
if nothing happens i will be ready
not if when
remind yourself no matter how scary or hard it is to flee
pack some essentials
every night i put my match away
i wont strike today
i'm burnt out.
I find my smile with the lights turned off...
Where I don't have to pretend to love what I don't
With strangers in my mouth
That taste like nothing;
They fill dimmed rooms
To hide painted-on faces,
And they fill their bodies with spirits
Until they forget their own names...
and slowly the darkness begins to fade:
The walls unravel and there they are left
With their colors bleeding out into the
Unrest they succumb to...
they find their smiles with the lights turned off.
I am Bacchus intoxicated letch of the Greek Gods reborn.
In my drunken stupor I have fallen many times;
Succumbed to the charms of Goddesses reincarnate.
From the strict slick ice queen Shiva aka an engaged Christina
Destroyer of my soul, and its inspiration at the same time
Made me feel like your lover, should’ve seen the pain coming
Never should have let you in. In one fell swoop you cut my spirit.
With a cold stares you stabbed my stubborn stone heart,
And made me bleed agony like wine from a bejeweled chalice.
Christina, of all who cut me few had touched me physically.
You were hard to overcome, my cheap and dirty maiden.
Pale flesh tarnished with your many affairs before and after me.
Within a year’s time you had severed the emotional chord,
But there were others like the goddess Discord shifting seamstress
Of light and dark, daring dangers to inflame my heart.
User, trickster I will never really miss her, and her name will not be spoken.
My affections for her were merely a passing token. What a relief
That I never loved that immoral immortal sexual thief.
Amanda oh Amanda. My idiot Athena. My warrior queen.
My military goddess. We never consummated our love
Because you never loved me. With a whisper and a line
You kept me holding on; let you go one day and the next you would phone
Came back different then when you left, like a new you grew
From Zeus’ skull more powerful, darker than before. For you I ceased to exist.
Rend my heart to pieces and instead I wished that I was dead.
That all those feeling could be shoved aside and never again remembered.
That your apathy had been fury and in your rage I was dismembered.
Jessica my dear Demeter harvester of my strange and deranged soul.
You were the first to slake my sexual thirst, hour lost to carnal lust.
I am sorry, that I was wired wrong and your love was not enough.
You deserved more than I ever gave you and of all my loves,
You are the only one who ever loved me back, so I am sorry.
Farther back than that is my greatest love swift and strong Artemis.
Actually I hope you never read or even see this.
Holly so holy a dream. With dirty red hair and freckled flesh,
With a kind heart that I will never forget. The first friend there to inspire my love.
The first soul I adored. You never wounded me, never scarred my heart
Never used, or abused, abandoned, or confused me with mind games or forgetfulness.
I will never touch you soft skin, or make you smile, but most of all I will never forget this
Yours was the first, the strongest, the deepest, the longest river in my heart, and the highest kindness.
For that you have many eternities worth of my love. The greatest goddess of all maybe
Your were actually Aphrodite.
Emptiness created by persistent fear,
The mellow heart of little emotional sheer,
Listen to me the brain said,
But the heart was mad,
About that one touch,
The magic touch of sacred hands,
It was difficult to decide,
Who will win the war of existence,
The fear or the love of gradience,
But if it still causes mayhem in oneself,
Then it cant be termed as intelligent radiance,
I became graved once again,
All I have lost yet found everything once again,
The mind told the starbirds,
Be back the home is not far nerds