I came to the place
you were last known to be

On the anniversary of the date
you were last seen

I bring offerings
of long stemmed
dried flowers
accented with
baby breath and
a clay fired cross
tinkling and jouncing
in a clear concave
glass vase

Gathered from the
floral arrangements
of memorial services
for dearly beloved
kindred and friends

My oblation,
aged, simmered,
distilled with the
resonance of tears
and cured by
ruminative airs, now
fully curated with
the balm of time

On this solitary
Monmouth beach
the March Lion
roars snow squalls
intermittently blowing
away the cold sunshine
from the Saturday sand

Sounding a
somber reminder
of the rise and fall
of life's tempests

We hope for beach days of
Sun kissed faces and
warm limbered bones
reposed in blessed rest
upon blankets and chairs

Yet today the sun can’t
temper the numbed
fingered wind chill,
placidity escapes
into the sonic rush
of skirling gusts
lifting, splashing, cracking
crescendos of building waves

Inert gulls flock
near a black jetty
their feathers
a taught plumage
trimmed to deflect
natures howling whirl
their silent shrieks
swallowed by
the days bluster

Crossing the beach
I cradled the vase
in the crux of my arms

My shoes taking
on sand, the cross
clanking a toll
against the thin glass
as the dry blooms
whisper winded secrets

As I approached
the ebb of the sea
a furious gust of wind
splintered some of the flowers
into a flurry of  swirling petals
while lifting two long stemmed
yellow roses that land
intact near the ocean's edge

Like frenetic sparrows
the liberated petals
flew into the ocean
settling into a
contented pool
anointing the water
by softly grazing on
supple undulations

Lifting a yellow rose
from the vase...
I touched the thorn
but it had lost its sting

Setting the rose aloft on
the wings of an
insistent onshore wind
it took flight toward the sea

Landing on a placid pool
gently rising and falling
on the relaxed roll of the water

It mounted each gentle curl
moving with an easy buoyancy
over each rippling crest

Navigating the friendly sea
with the skill of a
seasoned mariner
plying forward
eager to meet
the next tender roll .....

It is thought by some
that my daughter
walked into the sea
on a lonely
March night
at this very spot

Yet the two
long stem roses
that leapt from the vase
still gently lay
at the water line
as if placed on a table
by lovers during
an intimate dinner

Despite a stiff
onshore wind
the waves do not
swallow the flowers
but ease them back
toward the vase
planted on the shore

I gathered stones
and shells to fill the
emptying vase,
as I grabbed a handful
at the wash line
my foot was subsumed
by a wave

I was startled
by the bite of the
frigid water,
shaking my
arousing an
affirmation of
disbelief that
Meggie surrendered
her soul to the sea

On this cold
windswept shore
a Nor’easter
creeps its way
up our fragile coast
begging an uncertain

I stand in your

of what I should do

Unable to pray
the words bespoken
In my heart

I am here, frozen,
frail, frigid, flummoxed

My aching fingers
beg me to go
I release a final
white carnation

It springs to the sea
I pick up my vase half
full of shells and stones

I commend the two
long stemmed
yellow roses
marking the

I resolve to return
some sun kissed day
with blanket and chair
in the company of
friends, brothers,
sons or daughter

Music: Fleet Foxes, Grown Ocean

Meaghan Elizabeth McCallum
was last seen on video at
Pier Village Long Branch NJ
on March 11, 2015

Long Branch

Meaghan Elizabeth McCallum
was last seen on video at
Pier Village Long Branch NJ
on March 11, 2015

Can hold his wife's hand
And not think such an act
Is a show of weakness
Will dance with his daughter
And not think such an act
Is flat-out ridiculous.
Is not afraid to say 'I love you'
And won't think such an act
Is boyish- immature.
Thats what I achieve to be
And to accomplish such an act
Is definitely worth fighting for.

About a year ago I took my girlfriend (who is now a good friend) out to eat and when she left to use the bathroom the waiter (who was also my newest co-worker) came over and we had a conversation like this.
W: Sunny! Didn't expect to see you here... What's up?
Me: Not much, just taking (gf) out for dinner.
W: Dude, that sucks. I pity where she's got you man...
Me: How so?
W: (gf) got you whipped! I saw her grab your hands, making you look like a baby and to top it off she choose the seats for you guys! That's harsh, real harsh.
Me: I pity you, and no longer wonder why you're single.
W: What the hell dude...?
Me: You're immature, boyish ways are understandably what prevent women from wanting to stay with you. Please get us a different waiter.
#love   #man   #fight   #boy   #friendship   #girlfriend   #daughter   #women   #wife   #immature  
7 days ago

To The Daughter I’ll Never Have:

I want you to know that I did my best. I fought for you, for the idea of our family. I stood up for what I felt was wrong. Giving up my selfish ways wasn't easy, but it was doable. You need to know there was a time when our world was fixable.

When I was a child this was paradise...

A cool Summer breeze was a stroll to the 100 foot Oak, drinking the sunlight.
The river was a new road in the December.
Spring was as full as your sinuses.
A dying Autumn took your focus away from mortality.

All at once we cut the trees to steal their fruit, broke the ice with our fast machines, killed the sheep that kept us warm and fed us, and remembered that we weren't invincible.

I can picture you now:
I loved the name Haley.  
Your first words were "Daddy".
You walked into your first day of kindergarten fearless.
You had this ferocious spirit that let you go into any situation without any hesitation. You got that from your Mother.

I was always proud of you, no matter how much trouble you got yourself into. There was something special about you.

I can only dream of the life we'd have together but I fear for the stability of my world today. Not even today have I met your Mother but I know she fears the same for you. What will the world have left for you and those around you left the clean up the messes that those before us made?

It is on that note I regret to inform you that I may never have a chance to meet you.

My time will be spent gluing leaves to the trees.
I will carry polar bears on my back until it breaks, bees on my shoulders until they are stung and swollen, and love in my heart until it swells. While you and I may never meet here on earth, you need to know that this love will not go to waste. Every ounce of love I was supposed to give to you will be shared with everyone who cares about our world now.

Please forgive me for being selfish.


Jackilyn Teague
Jackilyn Teague
6 days ago

It started on March 8th.
You asked me why I didn't mention
That I was raised by a strong woman.
And I bit my tongue so hard I worried I might bleed.

I realised for the umpteenth time that my first female role model
Came into my life when I was in high school.
In the form of an all girl punk band.

I'd never seen anything so inspiring.
I picked up a guitar for the first time that year.
I felt like I finally knew who I was.

I'd never had anyone to show me the ropes.
How could I?
With a mother so dependant on a father
who doesn't understand a damn thing.

Strong women hold themselves
And others

You showed me how to tear my sisters down.
You tore me down.

It wasn't until high school that I felt supported.
I made a friend who would become family.
She's one of the strongest women I know.

She lifted me up.
Still does.

I became the woman I always needed.
No thanks to you.

Or maybe thanks to you
Since I didn't get what I needed
And now I'll never let the women in my life suffer the same way.

I stand before you now with a girl gang who never fail to catch me when I fall.
And I do the same for them.

This is my Pack.
We've built this family out of dreamers and doers
And I finally feel like I'm gaining ground.

Working towards the life I won't let get away.
So when I look at you with that mouth full of blood
From years of biting my tongue
it doesn't hurt so bad.

The tang of it tastes like strength.
Like perseverance.
Like dreams coming true.

Marissa Straw
Marissa Straw
Oct 3, 2013

What do you tell your father
When he says that your work reminds him of T.S. Eliot,
That the world is beautiful and sad?
Is it because Eliot is arrogant or because you are not (and have a need to be)?
(To be; me.)
My work is not an awakening--you say.
But is it not?
Do you not wake every day, waiting for the sun's rays...
To start the song of conscious breathing.
What do you tell your father
When the prelude is but a melancholic string,
A memory you must retreat
To the clouds above
Like the balloons from the grocery store
He and she would gather.
What do you tell your father...
You tell him nothing, you let your breathing resume,
You give him this poem, a scrape in space,
And let him read it.
Afterwards you let him kiss your forehead
And hold you tight
As the silly drum of his hands on your back
Make you cry and laugh.

The ear,
The oil, resists
Stubborn word water

She locked her neck target
Like a missle mother

I chimed in
Like a dusty daughter

But she loaned attention
To someone further

Away I go
To ground control

So my flighty feet
Embrace the mold

Of the runways and get-a-ways
For which I've packed

Will busy mother
Want me back?

#mother   #daughter   #plane  

Mother I miss you.
Where have you gone?

Your hair was golden and long.

Mother, I miss...

your hair

how it would flirt and entangle with wind.
Your arms
reached across indigo flowering fields,
steaming sunlight,
to cradle and warm my skin.
And oh!
The vast Texas sky that projected from your eye.

Will we ever share that time again?

#love   #sun   #summer   #mother   #family   #daughter   #childhood   #age   #child   #texas  

Sometimes I forget
how innocent you still are.
With the soul of an angel,
you're my shining star.
As sweet as pure sugar
with a heart made of gold.
A miniature miracle
for my arms to hold.
Your purity and hope,
your limitless dreams...
Sometimes I forget
what being a child really means.
So live wild and carefree
and sing your heart out!
Laugh till your tummy hurts,
feel happiness throughout!
Dance like no ones watching,
let nothing dim your view.
Sometimes I forget
to let you, just be you.
So, on those bad days
when I'm grumpy or mad,
if I say, "knock that off!!"
and it makes you sad...
Just remember, I love you,
more then words can ever say!
For you are the sunshine
that brightens my every day.

Sometimes I forget...

I couldn't have asked for a better daughter! Love that girl

I tell you bout my trips and everything I’ve seen
about my laughter and what I’ve learned but
I’m afraid to tell you that I feel like I’m losing myself again
that stopping my medication was the wrong decision
like I am trapped in this opportunity, can't get out and can't go home
I don't tell you about being filled with regret
that my flashbacks hurt more than I expected
That I lost my safe place and I feel abandoned

You dig yoga today and I travelled some more
I laughed a little, and took a nap
you're seeing your friend tomorrow
I know what you are doing
but how are you doing

Don't hold on just let go,
let your feelings flow
There's a bigger world to see
Your heart is young and free
I have opened up the door
so spread your wings and soar

(You can do anything
for I believe in you
Dreams are made to be chased
catching them is what to do
Always follow your heart
for it sings your own song
What seems to be a lifetime
is never really long)

Dance to the beat of your own drum
the best is yet to come
Your mind is your beautiful place
thoughts shine through your face
try to cheer all those you pass
give them a hand if they are last

(Don't hold on just let go,
let your feelings flow
There's a bigger world to see
Your heart is young and free
I have opened up the door
so spread your wings and soar

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