I was just never fully taken into consideration.
I was just used-or so I felt.
I was just a middle ground.
A rebound before he got serious again.
I don’t matter.
I didn’t matter.
I—
I thought he was the greatest.
He’s just an *******.
I guess.

i think the only reason you tell me that

is because you dont want any problems

and that makes it an easy fix

I brewed the coffee more for you than for me,
A ritual dressed in honesty.
The mug you left — I held it near,
Like touching it might make you appear.
I wrote you notes you never read,
Then tucked them back beneath my bed.

I set your place, then stared at mine,
As if routine could rewind time.
I’d hum your songs to fill the space,
Mistaking ache for your embrace.
But holding on can blur the view —
I feared what leaving meant was true.

And so today, I break that thread,
Not out of hate, but love instead.
I’ll drink for one, I’ll clear your cup —
It’s not moving on, it’s waking up.

© Copyright 2025 - Limes Carma

I can't afford to look at my future
so I stare off at my surroundings—
she married through prayers and planning
he flirts and dreams while still studying

she married in the name of God
he jokes about vows over coffee
was it my fault my partner was different?
same Allah, but you couldn’t see it

we resented each other, Mom
can’t you see?
you forbade it, so I hid
I pushed you—and Him—away

I found my own meaning
so if we ever have the conversation
fantastic, no longer phantasmic
you’d know why I wouldn’t marry

this relationship feels like its just on your terms

i keep giving and giving and giving and you just take take take, but you do give the slightest back

it feels like youve tied a stick with a bone on it on my back, so i can smell the bone but cant ever truly get it

i just want to be worthy of your bone

Hearts open up, heads nod towards each other in slow motion.
They touch and we are rooted here.
In this universe.
In this moment.
In stillness and eternity.
In connection.
In love.

its coming up on a year
a year without you
longer than I had with you to begin with
and I can say I don't think of you often
in passing more than anything
and i feel little about it

I know one day it will be my wedding day
someday, as lace cinches my waist and vows hover in the air,
as i get ready you’ll cross my mind
not from longing, just a glitch in memory’s muscle
curiosity killed the cat but I’ve been dead all my life
so I’ll wonder where life has taken you
and I’ll be glad I don’t know for sure, glad you’re not at the end of the altar waiting for me
and maybe I’ll have the children I would never have been able to have with you
and they’ll like poetry, and I’ll think of you again
I’ll teach my boy to not act the way you did, the way I hope by then you don't either

I’ve come to accept that thinking of you will happen
you shaped me as a person and six months can hold a lot of weight, turns out
I’ve stopped worrying about subconscious meanings
I think of you not because you still hurt me, not because I’ve not moved on
I think of you the way i do about those mornings when I was seven and watched the tv all alone  just to let time pass
in the way i think about that one mean girl from middle school, or that pretty girl from high school
in the way i think about my grandpa, the memories few and blurry and probably half made up
in the way i think about my first job, a lesson of bitter taste followed by so much better
in the way i think about every other boy that came and hurt and went