If you knew the landing were made of swords,
Would you jump?
If you saw the bridge collapse, descending to the deep,
Would you follow?
If you had to rewatch your life at heavens gate,
Would you regret?
If you knew my touch were poison,
Would you accept it?
If you knew your actions had consequences,
Would you lie with him again?
Then why do you return to me,
And fall down on your knees
Begging for what I cannot give
If you knew I'd say the same,
Scream at you to leave,
Would you go back and treat me that way again?
Half a life
Half a love
I am utterly devoted
To lesser moments.
Between the sheets
The mind drifts
In search of atonement;
An inevitable outcome.
It is living half a life
Accepting half love
Take me out of the dark
The courage within to say goodbye.
And when she began to speak
I opened her mouth just wide enough to look inside.
Stretching her mouth as wide as I could get it without causing pain.
I looked around directing her head in the light.
Highlighting everything I couldn't see.
And when I let go she asked what all of that was for.
With rose eyebrows I replied the person I met a couple of years ago
How's the bed you side of the pond?
Do you see figments of me when i'm gone?
Does it stay cold my side of the sheets?
Hate to think another's imprint comes in between.
Do you want more than to share the moon?
We were in orbit in your room.
Do restless nights make you think of us?
Our pillow talk and a little fuss.
I close my eyes; in another world,
our summer nights with the covers hurled.
You ask 'How's the bed your end of the sea?'
Its only warm when you lay with me.
I wanted to scream
at the top of my lungs
and tell you that if you're ever
looking for me
you know where to find me
and i'll always be here
but at this point i knew
i was just yelling
with lungs filled with water
and you would never hear me
but i will always be here
These past few years you have made me forget that I am still fire
I am still strong and powerful and capable
You have done your best to take all the best parts of me
and turn them into something useful only for you
but there is still that roaring heart inside my chest
For awhile I forgot that I used to be hell on wheels
miss independent with a kick in my step
ready to take on the world with an iron fist
I used to be the girl who rolled over men like you
put them in their place and said forget it
I am a volcano erupting
An ocean of feelings that are okay to feel
The loud parts of me are what make me burn beautifully
The parts of me you don't like me to show are okay too
I shouldn't have to be quiet about my flaws
because love is supposed to accept them anyway
if love is even what we can call this anymore
When my insecurities come out you leave welts on my skin
from being so hateful towards my most fragile pieces
when I am breaking you only help me shatter
by throwing stones big enough to break down whole buildings
All of me that makes me who I am is not appreciated by you
it is NOT fair for me to live hiding and walking on eggshells
to make sure you are happy, the only one of us who apparently matters
supposed to be partners in this life instead I am your servant
but Oh you are never wrong, you never want to hear it when I am bleeding my heart out all over the floor
I am a mess you just step over because heaven forbid you get your shoes wet
You never see how I live off coffee and sweat
while you sit and do nothing
complaining of how tired you are from a day of work
like my problems do not even come close to comparing to yours
you speak to me like I am supposed to be who you want me to be
and if I am not, I am nothing
if I am not this idea you have of who I am
you get so angry
you spit vile at me in your words and hit deep in my bones
You dismiss the parts of me that are beautiful
you only take for granted the me I share with you
not knowing there is a mountain of girl underneath
this shell I dont feel you deserve
You wouldn't appreciate her anyway
You have used me up and hung me out to dry
and still expect me to give to you when you want
whatever it is you selfishly want this time
ignoring the fact that I NEVER get what I want
let alone what I deserve
The lovely kids comforted me and never promised to pour rains on my key's day.
The kindness with calmness hinders sometimes.
The act was plain ,that l saw it coming.
There was no way for me to set out the fire,since l was still cooking.
The seasons spoke for me that all was going to be well.
Then l couldn't take hid in total silence.
I tried,surely I tried and all was wasted efforts.
Since the breeze of the country was no more,
The bubbles with the spirit gave me boost.
They took me no way but to a mere finish line.
Would this karma say we won the race now?
Just a thing of the past left behind.
Who would have the zeal to remember those lies now?
Just call them memories then.
We was riding so fast,February fourth jumped us out the emergency exit.
Yet this is another crush landing.
I've grown neither to cry nor say why.
I'd blame not August sixteenth for not signalling a may day.