A placeholder ring
Temporary meaning
I vow in-between.

Hold my spot
Til better comes along

Who is going to tie the knot.

A lady in waiting,
Eternity does not come easily
Or swiftly.

One who seeks a definite answer
Needs patience indefinitely.

Does Mr. Right
Promise all the right things
Right now,
Enough to keep me hungry?

A short-term solution
When I dream of a
Permanent situation

A preview of what is real
All I see
Is intention to commit,

When does forever start
If not today?

I don't have a hold,

with others, he never looks --


at me lovingly.

What was supposed to be a life time with you
Will now just be a lifetime of what ifs
Should have beens
And memories of time spent
That’ll never be again

I will drop everything,
and stay,
all you have to do
is ask.

In the echoes of our past, I hear the whispers of pain, etched in the silent space between us. Desperately wanting to be heard, but never speaking.

Conversations, woven with threads of betrayal, pierce through the fabric of our trust, binding us to a truth we both deny.

"It was just a kiss," you said, words dripping with regret, but your lips carried the weight of secrets buried beneath deceit.

Months stretched into years, each moment a battleground, where truth surrendered to silence, and lies built walls around us. You put me up into the air, told me I was safe, then let me fall to my knees and scream.

How could you be so impulsive, reckless with the fragments of my heart, reaching out to her in moments of doubt, while I crumbled beneath the weight of your betrayal?

You saw my pain, felt the tremors of my shattered trust, yet chose the path of deception, leading us further into darkness.

A partnership fractured by deceit, where love withers in the shadow of your unspoken truths, leaving me stranded in a sea of confusion and abandonment.

Still, I hope to blossom like the cherry blossoms outside our window, yearning for the sunlight that passes more dimly than the uncertainty I have of you.

I am tormented by the treachery of knowing the truth and never escaping the past. I cannot bear the burden of your lies, nor should I be the keeper of secrets that poison the life of our love.

I must love myself enough to walk away, to leave behind the wreckage of a future tainted by betrayal, and find solace in the quiet embrace of my own truth.

******* though.

My love,
I wish you could visit.
Your smile,
Your laugh,
Is truly exquisite.
And I knew,
From the very start,
That you and I
Can never depart.

As not a million miles,
Can break us apart.

To hear your cries,
Broke me inside.
Wheezing for breath,
As I sit by your side.
My mind,
Hurt me,
But at least we tried.
So weary in fret,
Though we seemed just fine.
But I live in regret,
It should pass in time.
Though I'll never forget,

The you and I.

"Carve the iron from my bones"
I wish there were another way

"Mold me, clay-like, into the idol of your adulation"
My skin burns from murderous hands

"Things bend and break at your wanton will"
Skeletal snapping fills the dusk

"Drain me of my marrow by 'morrow"
I'm running out of wishbones to believe in.

"I won't be me by morning"
But that's ok, because I've only ever wanted to be you.

-C