Deep Thought
Deep Thought
7 hours ago

Today is my Dad's 60th birthday.
Today I also lost my job due to discrimination.
I haven't been fired from a job since I was 18.
Now I'm 25 knowing this is merely a trial.
People are watching me wondering how I've taken the fall.
I'm not here for sympathy or applause.

I'm here to share with you, how you too can can rise against it all.
Like my Mother, I am a ferocious lion choosing to stand tall.
My identity isn't in my occupation, possessions or knowledge.
My identity is in Christ no matter the odds.
By serving a God who is greater than the world, there is no storm you can't weather.

To whom God would make known what is the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles; which is Christ in you, the hope of glory - Colossians 1:27

I forgive you

saying the words

feeling them in my heart

letting go of anger... pain...injury

still I cannot see you..face you...your person is too vile

you may never hear ...I forgive you... from my lips ...the intent is true nonetheless

my soul is freed now from the shackles of your torment

I wish you peace and strength to face your sin and the demons you unleashed on my life and make your account.

Written as part of a series - The Meditations #1 - #11, over three days at a silent spiritual retreat. more healing took place in three silent days that in three years of therapy. Go figure! Not there yet but it is a more productive work in progress.  #thisjourneyofdays

What is the magic
the aristocracy was entitled
to rule over us?
Binding us to society and
the rules of the unknown
and the unimportant,
the weak and the lost
only allowed to suffer.

What is the magic
where the thieves and fools
fight for bloodless gold?
Lulling my darkest
silence to slumber, lest
the compassion shatter
like glass slippers that
slay soft flesh.

What is the magic
of those forgotten words
of corrupt innocence?
Where birds were birds,
monsters were monsters,
the notion of humanity
slipping away from my
happy beginning.

What is the magic
that forces me to lust over
every failed perfection?
Prayers unspoken and
thoughts from promises
I’ve only begun to


But we can never go back to those times so
long before.
I can only hope that you’d come quietly in
through that chained door.

Buddy T
Buddy T
5 days ago

Wind like a lion's roar
My ice heart beats
Toxic tears fall over the things you have done
Spring my never come

The earth will turn like a dog and their tail
As the sun comes up we will forgive
Let the ice melt on our hearts
Like trees in the spring, we can begin again

Let us sleep forever in this clouded illusion
Forgiveness like yellow on a computer screen
The dog days of our lives
We can't say in this haze forever

Time falls as leaves on a tree
I try to hold on like the earth does to the moon
But all fires must turn black
Please change this endless ocean

'like yellow on a computer screen' computer screens are only made up out of 3 colors, red, blue, and green, so theres no actual yellow on a computer screen.

'I try to hold on like the earth does to the moon' each year the moon gets 3.8 cm farther away from the earth and could eventually leave orbit
#hate   #time   #fall   #summer   #winter   #forgiveness   #spring   #seasons   #illusion  

I sat by his bedside the day my father died.
The cancer that had riddled his body and soul
Now had complete control.

He fought kicking and screaming
The night the men in white came to take him
On his final journey
Like a great wildebeest
Struggling to get up on its front legs after being taken
Down by young lions. The way so many had said he
Probably would since he fought his way tooth & nail
Throughout his life from the very beginning.

That night I sat on a chair at the foot of his bed
Staring out the huge ceiling to floor window
Of the medical centre
At the many worlds hidden beneath thousands of straight
Stationary lights in-between fluid winding rows of
Transient lights and thought how the light of This window
Is just one of many thousands. At that moment it seemed
More like just one tiny speck in the vast star fields
Worlds above this city of light.

My father had spent most of his life just a short
Six-mile drive from here, under the scattered lights of His

He turned to me and asked,
“That’s a big city. Where are we?"

Dementia had claimed his mind ten or more years earlier. It
Slowly wound its way around his brain like a cocky Snake
Handler being choked by a boa constrictor unawares.
It seemed like it all caught up to his body.
But it was good to see much of the bitterness
And bad blood between us dissipated over the past decade.
On that night compassion ruled the day.

I could not say it then
But it has been many years
Where it seems compassion has forged with objectivity.

In a lucid moment he looked around the hospital room
Bewildered as if he were a little boy who just woke up
From a bad dream and asked,
“How did this ever happen?"

If only I could have told him.
Sometimes the truth cannot be spoken or heard.
All I could do then was sit by his bed
Lean in close to his ear
And sing softly his favourite hymns. 

By morning his lifeless
Dilapidated body lay in the fetal position.
His once ravenous mouth now forever frozen
Looked like a knothole in a twisted cedar tree.
All I can do now is hang my head and think
Of how weak and frail we humans truly are.

Like compassion forged with objectivity,
Weakness and frailty forges with fleeting moments of Strength.
We forge heroes out of these moments to tower above
The pedestals the former is made of
To somehow minimize the pain of this often denied truth.

               --Daniel Irwin Tucker

My wife & I put our life on hold & travelled to the U.S. to help my mother take care of my dying father. She wanted to keep him in the comfort of his own home. We were there for five months.

As told by me:

Shocked, over your indifference and coldness towards the end
Sucker punched, the second you said you haven't considered me a close friend in ages
Sad, that you pretended for so long
Sorry, for any pain I've unduly caused you
Pissed off, at all the feelings you were harboring that you let snowball into resentment
Certain, that things will never really be the same
Unappreciated, for everything I’ve done for you
Misunderstood, when you said its all about me all the time
Upset, for making you feel unloved
Relief, from the burden of being a perfect friend
Confused, why you didn't give me the benefit of the doubt
Regret, for not speaking up earlier
Selfish, that I took you for granted without listening to your needs
Concern, everyday over your wellbeing
Curious, how you are living/feeling/doing
Generous, when sending you light and love
Sincere, when wishing the best for you always
Love, because I always will

As told by her:

Shocked, that I was caught off guard by your indifference
Sucker punched, when I gave up on our friendship when you needed me the most
Sad, that we didn't see eye to eye
Sorry, for always having been a good friend
Pissed off, for not being heard for so long
Certain, that things will never be the same
Unappreciated, for everything you’ve done for me
Misunderstood, because you just wanted to finally live by your own needs and not anyone elses
Upset, that I wasn’t able to fully open to you
Relief, from always having to pick up the slack
Confused, why I took it this far
Regret, for not speaking up earlier
Selfish, for expecting me to be a good friend while I dealt with my own/family issues
Concern, everyday over my wellbeing
Curious, how I am living/feeling/doing
Sincere, when wishing the best for me always
Love, because you always will


I forgive you
because I'm not perfect myself.

It's not easy,
there's no one to encourage me to do so,
no awards seem to await for the good and the brave,
looks like I do it in my own's name,
out of myself, against myself.

When you know that good deed
doesn't always come back,
and when your heart's raging with hate,
it's not easy to say
"I forgive you",
it's not easy to say a word, or even stay silent. It hurts.
It rots you inside, to the core.

But in spite of it, I forgive you,
for we are all going to the same place
to live together, under the different names.
I forgive you, 'cause later on, you never know,
it might be too late.

#love   #life   #hate   #death   #forgiveness   #perfect   #forgive  
T      A
Feb 2

you have managed to boil my blood
one too many times.
but this is the purest i have ever felt.
i would forgive all of your crimes.

Can't fix like You do.

to think I can heal,
is proud.


help me let go
and go
grip Your hand

not these old
shards of mine.

Sy Lilang
Sy Lilang
Jan 30


Hindi ako humihingi ng bago sayo
Pero inabutan mo ako ng blangkong papel
Siguro nga, siguro nga wala kang sinabing magsulat ako
Pero heto ako't isinasatitik pa rin ang bawat tulang naging misteryo sa puso ko.

Hindi ako humingi ng espayo sayo
Pero binigyan mo ako ng patlang --
Mga patlang na hanggang ngayo'y walang sagot
Mga patlang na hindi ko alam kung laan ba sakin
O sinadyang ipadaan lamang sa mga kamay ko
Para lang may maisulat ako ngayon.

Hindi nawalan ng tinta ang panulat ko
Pero tila naubusan ito ng dahilan para magsulat sa mas marami pag mga pahina --
Mga pahinang hindi ko alam kung pinunit mo na rin ba
Hindi ko alam kung ginusot mo na ba
O baka naman ipinadaan mo na sa apoy
At oo, natupok na ang lahat
Pero sariwa pa rin sa akin ang bawat linya ng talata
Siguro nga, siguro nga hindi ko kabisado
Sa kung papaano ako nagsimula
O paano ako nagtapos sa piyesang iyon
Pero ang alam ko -- ayoko na.

Ayoko na -- ayoko nang bumalik sa umpisa
At halukayin na naman ang nakaraan
Yung katulad ng dating magmumukmok ako sa sulok
Sasabay ang luha sa pagpatak ng ulan
Sasabay ang takot sa kulog
Sasabay ang galit sa kidlat
At wala -- wala na naman ako.

Ngayon, naisip kong sa dulo magsimula --
Sa dulo kung saan ay bago na ang lahat
Oo, hindi naman nabubura ang sakit
Pero kaya itong lagpasan
Malalagpasan kasi pinalipas na ang panahon
At hinilom na ang lahat --
Oo, napatawad na kita.

Sabi nila, nasaktan na raw ako ng sobra
Wag ko na raw balikan kasi nga baka di ko na kayanin
Tama na raw, kasi nakakaawa na raw ako
Ano raw bang meron sayo na minahal kita
May mas magmamahal pa raw sa akin
Mapapagod lang daw ako
Sasaktan mo lang daw ako.

Pero alam mo, iba ang sabi Niya --
Na patawarin kita
Na binura Niya na ang lahat ng sakit sa puso ko
Na wag akong magtanim ng sama ng loob
Na pinalaya Niya na ako
Na higit na magtiwala ako sa Kanya
Na muli akong magtiwala sayo
Na wag akong matakot magmahal muli
Na wag akong matakot masaktan
Na lagi kitang ipanalangin.

Sa totoo lang, hindi ko alam
Hindi ko alam kung saan ako kukuha ng dahilan
Kasi pag tinanong mo ako kung ba't kitang mahal,
Wala akong masasagot sayo --
Basta, basta mahal kita
At mas mahal ko Siya --
Doon Niya tayo ipinagbuklod ng pag-ibig Niya.

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