It's there in black and white
The greater good demands sacrifice
I fall as I fail to penetrate with the sword of truth
Black clouds mask raw wounds worn as shadowed badges
And the proof of fragmented love
How can it be anything else?
A life in platitudes for a moment of freedom
A moment of honesty
A moment greater than those before and those to follow
Incarnadine pages depict the murder of innocence
Turned murder of crows
Set to peck out eyes that see only the good
In a smile that reflects the heart
You yearned to believe existed
Sacrificed, and still...
I would grow bone through flesh to block your pain
Most of my life is a forgotten cliffside. There's nothing you can really do about it, it's just the consequence you pay for being alive.
I don't remember a lot of my childhood. I can remember my schools, my friends, my parents, my teachers. But I don't remember my sisters. Only my brother, the little boy carrying the family name on his shoulder blades... But he is not ready for that.
As for my sisters... I do not officially "know them" until they begin to leave. I was 11 when they started leaving my house, and 13 when they started re-entering my life.
There is no excuse for arriving late to my life crisis. But what crisis is there anyway?
I grew up alone.
Sisters too old, brother too young, parents too protective.
Too eager to run through the halls of my early life, and high school is not what I expected the years to be. But I am still here... alive.
And there will always be that to hold on to when the sky falls from the stars that pin up the rest of the universe.
Or the the clouds fall from the blue sky just before that cliffside collapses into the abyss.
This is the artistry that is my life on a power surge. Feeling the shock of the first kiss, and the break of the last word.
The many voices, and single sayings. The before and after. The push and then the fall.
The feeling of all my memories being shot.
But not killed.
This is the joy of living off of the electric tower... or the Eiffel tower.
This is life made wild, love made public, friends made family, me made whole again.
Me surviving the cliffside fall for the 378th time this week.
Safety nets were never written in the fine print of this circus act.
But this feeling can kill as much as it can save. It is, and always will be a cosmic shot across the front of my skull...
Opening my mind into eternity. Until I decide to go back to that cliffside...
"I never loved you ."
I watched the light leave your eyes and I wanted to admit how they were all lies .
"I couldn't be happy with you,
Nagging and bragging is all you do ."
Your brows folded in,
And my breath lingered on the last words at your sheer beauty .
"I was your sin,
It was right for you to give up on me ."
You found your voice then,
"Wait Wait Wait . Me ? Give up on YOU . You're kidding right ?"
That's when you laughed but not with your eyes,
"This is the joke, THESE are the lies ."
You shook your head, and kept muttering those lines .
This is a joke...
I know .
"All I did was scar your soul,
Promise things I didn't know,
Took you to a world and you weren't allowed to go ."
I remember you fumbling with your hands,
Trying to comprehend .
Tears glisten in your soft grey eyes .
"You promised you'd never say goodbye ."
"I never followed rules,"
"I never keep my word, what makes you think,
You'd be the reason I'd turn ?"
It took everything in me not to turn and cry,
I was breaking your heart,
I had to say bye .
That boy down the street,
He'd hold you when I leave .
"You don't need me ."
A bit too harshly .
You clung to my hand,
Kissed my lips,
And for a second,
I fell into it .
But I pushed you back,
I wiped it away .
Filled my eyes with disgust,
And watched you run far away .
I whispered to night sky,
And I laid there .
And I cried,
For a girl that was never mine .
Took the blame
Never thought twice about it
Kept on fighting
Trying to see through the dark
Not realizing my flame went out
Legs gave out
When did I stop registering the pain?
The tears kept running down the canyon
Same old river that cut through the solid earth
Fell to the ground
Weight finally breaking my body
Tried to lead them
Hold them up high
Protect them so they never bear this pain
Lying down now broken and weak
Who'll hold me?
Who'll block the sharp winds,
The unending storms?
But most importantly,
Who'll take my spot once I'm dead and gone?
Unable to protect them any more,
Does that mean I've failed?
Ask me something, about the mountains and the sea
In a boat, and then a climb, I'll bring you to see
Sunset across the horizon, nightfall is imminent
We are together now, let us cherish this moment
Ask me something, about the stars, the moon and the sky
Right outside, we can discuss deeply, till the dew has dried
Yesterday was amazing, as we danced in the rain
A decade shall pass, till I come back for you, again.
Maybe women's day is more than just a trending hashtag?
Maybe women's day is about something deeper than brands posting empowering messages just to get likes?
Maybe women's day is more about appreciating the struggle of others that makes you privileged rather than a day to enjoy free drinks and cupcakes?
Maybe just maybe it's about spending the other 364 days appreciating your blessings and fighting for the rights of others to enjoy them to.
Let's take a moment to step away from the digital sphere and truly embody what equality for all means.
After all man, woman or child, the change starts with YOU.
A storm was coming,
She knew it was close and it would devestate her
Her mentors urging her to depart
She could've left ,
She should've left.
Yet, she stayed back at great cost
Alienated and pitied,
For the innocent souls who depended on her
She could've left,
She should've left.
The storm is now her world,
But her children live in sunshine
She lays beside the beast each night,
Whilst her angels play with sun rays
She could've left,
She should've left.
But she didn't
For she isn't a martyr , she is a mother