I hate you here
I hate you there
I wish not to hate
because I am not one to hate,
but I think about you
way too much
for someone that no longer cares
I think how you were,
the things you asked of me
The things that were said,
the things you screamed,
the pain you charged at me
I still walk by that picnic table
and think of that night
you chased me down
when I wanted to leave
I still look at that park
and think of those nights
full of tears and anguish
The stars we walked under,
as if even they knew,
the end was near
the moon shined down a perfect light
for our shadows to leap on
I still drive by that path we walked,
the time you told me things you've
not admitted to others before me
I remember thinking then
that you were a complete mess,
and not mine to fix,
it was so very hard to let go
It still is,
and after the time that has gone by
I saw your car just the other day
It just set me ablaze
You ruined so many things for me,
you laid out these lies
that I was supposed to trust
you laid out your fear,
that you held onto deeply
ours and yours
it rang inside of you like a bell
billowing out like a nuclear blast
I wasn't sure of you at first,
you were adamant
you were misleading
you were comforting,
but the things you became
riveted me in such a way
that I haven't been able to overcome
I'm guilty of a lot things,
but with you I was better
I needed time to become that way
I needed time to heal from the loss I had before you
I wasn't given that time,
and we see the results now
We see the results of two people,
and getting lies
i can't go stargazing anymore.
i mean; after the moment was ruined by a not too snarky comment
"They're dying- it's not beautiful-"
you wouldn't expect it. now i look to ceilings
with cracks and caves from upstairs dances, naming constellations
wishing i could look at my night sky stars.
"-but this is. We're beautiful."
Your love is my disease
So sick, got me falling to my knees
I'm begging baby please don't leave
But you can't hear me
Too busy falling like a meteor
Creating all these internal craters
Baby I was the sun
I used to shine so bright
You cut me down
And now I'm just a small star
In your universe which is so infinite
The dark, velvet sky envelopes
Us as we lay underneath a sea of stars.
We lay there, quiet as we memorize
Each other's features and souls.
Your eyes are the fire that
Keeps me warm through the night,
Your arms are the home I long for.
Your body wraps around mine
And your heartbeat slows.
Peacefully you drift away
And I fall deeper in love with you.
Did you know?
I have vines growing around my ribs now.
A tree growing in my guts where I used to hold galaxies.
Churning stardust catching between teeth,
Painting my lips.
Seeping out of my skin and into the sink.
I am a book of metaphors and paradox.
I am nothing at all.
I speak you fair with a liars tongue,
All made of silver and moondust.
I am celestial,
And though your starstuff still makes me sick in the mornings,
Picking your shine from my teeth
All your refuse still inside me wretched into the sink.
Though my limbs are scarred with an effort to see my own galaxies
I am through obsessing over celestial souls.
Too many boys and girls with stars in their eyes
Or Saturn's rings around their fingers
Have caught me with lunar promises and magic fallen from careless lips
Like meteor showers.
I'm rid of my stars.
Now I've been planting flowers in my ribs
The vines mingle with a web of forget-me-nots and bleeding hearts
Lavender buds sprouting from old scars
I pass the 3 am itch off as them growing
Learn to ignore it.
You're kinda like the sky
You're also kinda like the sun, moon & stars
You may ask why
& to that I'll say
I will only ever be able to admire you're beauty & grace from a distance
I will never be able to touch it
So if you ever come around and I find somewhere far away to stand
it's only because
Some beauty is far too precious to be held by my hands
You'll never know
the pain and sorrow
I feel from loving you
Much more than the chance
of getting near you
as I float outside planet Earth
Though I'll kept wandering
I'll continue to jump
across space and time
I've yet to accept my fate
that you are a star
far from my grasp
and I'm merely a girl
the one who continues
to shine bright
Keep on shining love
as I stay here on earth
Let me just wish for you
as we're galaxies apart
Now I know how the Moon feels
being in love with the Sun
As much as it hurts from its heat and rays
The Moon kept admiring it, still
As much as they cannot be together
It still hopes as they are in the same sky
Only, she knows too well,
they could never ever meet