hands trace over and touch my heart
lips whisper to prove that i'm part
of a system that holds me that needs me here
but as my lips whisper back things are left unclear
why can't you hear me when i try to answer you
why can't you see me past the glass we're looking through
my breath coats the border in mist
my hand pressed against
clenched into a fist
I wore my hate for you
Like a badge of honor
Engraved right in to my skin
For the world to see.
I fixated on it
Seething and writhing
Not letting go.
Letting it take over my whole being.
Over time, I've grown up
And the hatred eroded away.
All I wanted was
To forget everything about you.
I'll never forgive you
But you aren't worth my hate.
I have lost all reason.
For staying at your side.
Perpetual eternal suffering all we know,
I am now your shadow,
You, my burden.
Nothing I find can cure this thirst.
This greed for more.
More women, more money.
More knowledge, power.
No longer are you,
The finest drink.
That quenches the bitterness time left on my tongue
A sad concept indeed.
"What do you do with the anger?"
"What do you mean?" I ask.
"I mean, what do you do with the anger?"
I never thought about it that way. The anger that builds up fuel inside of us, the everlasting flame, what do we do with it? What do we do with the inextinguishable flame? This flame that burns inside of us from the day we are born until the day we pass, this flame that burns all in its path - what do we do with it?
"I don't know," I respond. "I never realized just how much it effects my life."
"Find something to do with it. Find somewhere to channel it. Find something to control it - or let go of it. Let the fire burn out. Anger is not a fire that keeps you warm, it is a fire that consumes you. It will consume you if you let it. Be free of it," he said. "Let it go and never look back."
You meant everything to me
So how could you break me so brutally?
I would have done anything for you
But instead you left me feeling blue
Soon enough “blue” turned into “anger”
Left me thinking “how could I ever love her”?
Those feelings of anger still reside in my mind
I think to myself that I wish I could just rewind
Rewind to the days you and I were still talking
Ding, ding, ding
I’ll never get those days back
It just hurts so much that my heart could just crack
Crack and leave my heart broken even more than it already has been
I didn’t think love could hurt this much when
When it is just this supposed pure emotion
A pure emotion that has turned into just a feeling of emotional persecution
You ruined my view on love
Now I only see it as a suffering once peaceful dove
I wanted there to be a “you and I”
But I already know that you just won’t comply
Yes, I know that you don’t see me that way
I just wish I would have waited another day
Another day before I sprung my confession on you
So I wouldn’t be experiencing these feelings of regret even though they're true
You start talking about suffering,
beaten and broken, you’ll horribly die,
then after three days you’ll rise to life,
you plainly state such crazy things,
so I take you aside to tell you, no,
you’ll be King, show your power
rule the earth,
crush oppressors into the dirt,
then like I’ve never seen, you roar,
the anger of the righteous Lord
the priests teach about, comes out
you yell, Behind me, Satan,
you won’t ruin my plans,
your mind is filled with thoughts of man,
not God, I’m silent with shame,
confused, you’re calling me the name
of your enemy while I’m trying
to remind you what you promised me.
It's a shame when you have a good thing going
& people want to intervene.
They don't want you to have
They get jealous & mean.
Their lives are not going well
They have nothing at all.
Instead of enjoying watching you prosper
They pray for your downfall.
They see you happy they will rather
Ruin what you have.
They see a crack in your foundation
They will be so glad.
They try to end your happiness
When God gives you favor.
They try to destroy your blessing
Before you could even savor it.
Meddlers are people whose
Lives are a mess.
They hate to see others happy
Until you're broken they won't rest.
They'll smile in your face
While twisting the knife in your back.
They're relentless in destroying you
They're always on the attack.
They'll whisper in others ears
Trying to tear you down with words.
If you have a meddler, in your life
Cut them off, kick them to the curb.
Meddlers are the lowest thing
The Devil contributed to this earth.
Once you come in contact with them
Your life will be cursed.
They live in misery
& dabble in destruction.
They are all about hurting those around them
With deceit & corruption.
I had a meddler in my life
Their actions destroyed my family.
We tried to help the meddler out
They were so smooth with it
That we were too blind to see.
We didn't see in time
What were really their true intentions.
They had us fighting amongst each other
& did I forget to mention
How we took in a meddler
We allowed them in our residence
But they came to us under
They said they needed help
& we tried to be there.
But they destroyed my family
& they didn't care.
They tore a wedge between us
We fought all the time.
They just watched us destroy ourselves
& stood on the sidelines.
They took pride in watching
Our family dissipate.
They liked watching us crumble
They watched our family deteriorate.
Now my children miss their father
They are in so much pain.
The father leaves
But the meddler remains.
God don't like ugly
& that meddler showed their true colors.
They ruined a family
But they'll soon discover.
God will give me strength & in his grace
I'll continue to grow.
My faith will not waiver
My inner light will still glow.
I'll let that meddler enjoy this victory
Because I truly don't care.
I've got God on my side
So meddler beware.
I'll never wish you any harm
I want your life to grow.
But remember this meddler
You reap what you sow.
So if you can't get ahead
& you're always in a bind.
Remember Romans 12:19
The Lord said "Vengeance Is Mine"
The grand and roaring ocean.
Brings beasts of fantasy to life.
Drags the unwary swimmer to the briny bottom.
As Davy Jones sinks and dominates the sailor's ships.
Adding their loot to his bottomless locker.
Mighty ocean waves sink whole islands.
Rouge and deadly, consuming the very land itself.
Volcanoes spewing magma and ash forming islands.
As if the ocean itself were some god.
As if the whole ocean were Poseidon and Neptune working in tandem.
As I stand here on the shoreline, exempt from the underwater world.
I remember I have the water to thank. For being able to walk on land at all.