You with her it's all so fucking-
You're standing at the gate,
But you can't get your story
And I don't believe you anymore,
I've shut the door,
You tried to open,
Locked it good and tight,
So no matter how many:
"It was my fault I'm sorry now!"
You don't get me tonight.
My grandpa told me stories
When I was a little child
I listened with attention with eyes just opened wide.
I didn't fully understand I hadn't got a clue
He talked about a treasure chest
made from brass with a greenish hue.
Now can you step into my shoes and imagine how I felt
I sat in school and pondered might there be something of great wealth.
Then one day I said grandpa, please will you let me see.
He kissed me on the forehead
then told me he had no key.
When he saw the tears flow
he took me on his knee
Now let's go to the loft, we'll take a light to see.
And when I saw the velvet chest I laughed so joyously,
he said to me, "one day you'll know, magic and mystery."
I marvelled at its beauty of red and golden strands
The velvet was divine I touched it with my hands
"Where is the key where is the key?" I yelled in ecstasy
He shook his head and said to me
"We'll come back in our stride."
He tried his best to tell to me tales from very long ago
And I just wouldn't listen and yes he scold me so
This chest you see has been here, for many centuries
"We can't take heaven by storm "he said, "for Heaven is given to thee."
And now this chest is in my home
It's in a sacred space
I can hear my grandpa's voice and see his adoring face
He truly is an angel who reminds me constantly
I listen to his words with attention consciously.
And still, I still imagine, the secret being revealed
And every day I create a beautiful new dream
I see the sun the moon and stars when I look inside of me.
And in joyous anticipation, in prayer I request the key.
Childhood grandpa magic joy revelation mystery. Imagination.
If life is death's coping mechanism
Love is life's way to say
"Sorry about all that, friend.
Here, have something good in the end."
And it will be no fun sometimes
It will hurt as any journey does
It will teach you, learn you, sear and burn you
But when life gives in to death's warm hand,
You'll know you've loved, and it'll be grand.
I'm nothing but an option to you,
There are a thousand things you would rather do
Then talk to me in several days,
But then again you don't see that do you?
Its clear to see you're drifting away,
Would rather play a computer game
Then even bother to see if we're okay
But then again, you don't really care.
I thought you cared but clearly not.
You say you're sorry but things always stay the same.
I'm not sure what there is left for me to do
Because I'm tired of fighting for you to show me you care.
Our friendship is one of the things in the world im most afraid to lose
Yet it is the thing i am baddest at maintaining
Im sorry for the yelling and all the screams
Im sorry for the tears i let you spill for me
I dont deserve your devoted love and friendship
But I sure am happy for you staying with me anyways
I promise i will let you know how much i love and care about you
And I promise i will be more supportive of you
I do love you
I really do
I lost her.
I tried making up for what I have done.
What have I done to get to this point?
I screwed up I know and I regret what I said.
I regret what I did to her. But I want to take it all back but I can't.
Please forgive me one day.
I know what I did was wrong and I tried fixing it but I guess I hurt her too much.
PLEASE know I am sorry.
How exactly am I going to be okay?
When everything I felt dearly, just became my worst nightmare.
When everything I held dearly, became the last thing I ever needed.
How did it ever come to this?
I should have never left you,
I should have never made you cry.
I am sorry, I am truly sorry!
I saw the news of that night,
I saw the people cower in fright,
I felt their love fall to the ground,
I knew the fear would spread around,
Down in the place called Orlando
The outed, the loved, the brave,
The ones in closets, dark like a cave,
The lonely, the lovely,
The ones like dogs stomping muddily,
Down in dear old Orlando.
No one had expected what came next,
It was something like text,
You read from a book,
Now don't ever look,
Down in Orlando.
What was once a place,
A very special space,
Space for those different than him,
He thought they were a sin,
Now it's no more in Orlando.
All they wanted was love,
But their souls flew like a dove,
No more of their musical,
Lives in Orlando.
To all those,
To the next place,
I give you good grace.
I am sorry for all that's been done,
I know sometimes life hasn't been fun,
But you didn't deserve,
To be served,
The final, the last,
Place. I'm sad that you passed,