How can you doubt and trust at once?
Have faith but worry??
How can you keep your eyes dry,
When all they want to do is cry?
How can you stand when life is pushing you to your knees?
Life is crazy but hey,being alive is enough hope.
It's strange to me how much the word love is thrown around, and how different it's definition seems to vary from person to person. My mother tells me her love is unconditional, but her 'unconditional love' only applies to her conception of a perfect daughter, and not the man inside. I found myself promising that I would only let those treasured words slip through the cracks when I meant it. When I felt it. Yet it has become a greeting I exchange more commonly than hello's. Kissing in the rain and chocolates and constant sweet nothings is the love I began to believe in, but it has not lasted. It has morphed from a feeling into a lifestyle, part of most everything I do. For if I don't act out of love, selfishness, hate, anger, might fill its place. Some forms more painful than others, unrequited, undying, have manifested within my brain, or my soul. The two are often confused, kissing in the rain does not equate to love, my soul tells me, but my head feeds into it either way. The brain is desperate for a form of love, holding onto whatever it can grasp because the fear of never finding another is too great of a risk for it to take. Loneliness, the ultimate opponent of the soul, and the push that sends the mind tumbling down. The purest form of love I have found is in the touch he places to my shaking arm as I struggle to understand it doesn't mean as much as I crave it to be. Standing in front of my mirror, conquering my denials, and he is always there, always touching. That is the love I have come to treasure most. The fertilizer to my seed of self love that has taken an achingly long time to sprout. I have also come to find that loving back, surprisingly enough, isn't in the kisses and sweet nothings. It is in accepting that your give wishes to be far more than theirs, and leveling with their take, despite everything. Unwavering hand always on their arm, through whatever turbulence that may come their way. What a shapeshifter you are, my love.
As I look back on times that have long past,
And think about the good times that we shared,
I start to realize why it didn’t last:
Because we only focused on who cared.
It’s hard at first to let the memories go,
Sometimes I want to relive everyday,
But over time they’ll melt like fallen snow,
And happiness will come in different ways.
I’ll take delight in someone else’s glance,
Allowing light to flood into my life.
The butterflies inside me do a dance,
No more I’ll be weighed down by all the strife.
I cannot wait for what life has in store.
My heart wide-open; wings outstretched to soar.
Inspiration I found you
hiding in my old drawings
of stick figures
fighting each other until they became disfigured
See I figured if I could draw enough of them I could create movie scenes
Tales of epic battles, wars of brutality unlike a beauty queen
An escapist at heart, imagination captivated by these moving parts
A pencil in hand would create everything I couldn't see
but only imagined inside of dreams
These daydreams would then change things in the motions of my grand scheme
My grand scheme is of art
expression from the heart
No bullshit, no judgment
Fuck you if you judge this
I do it! No, I do it well
Read my past works
Your eyes will swell
I promise, If my words don't alter your brain cells
Then let me oxygenate fumes inside of my main valve
To only release steam
my seams are of mage spells,magical potions, words scattered in slow-motion
drawing in class was a little kid
mechanical pencil was his choice of instrument
rehearsals were illustrated
diabolical foes, dramas fueled with energy, enemies killed flows,
Of static electricity, I'd draw till my fingers lacked elasticity.
now my imagination is as stiff as can be.
I'm constantly drafting, drawing & dissecting a piece
Whether it is a visual or audio wave
I just rinse and repeat
Reconstruct from a core, let that core have seeds
From those seeds sprout plants and
the idea of trees.
Note to self:
When you see a narrow path that looks rough and a field with an infinite amount of space, do not (under any circumstance) let temptation drive you away from the well-lit path, into some dimly lit field.
When you see love standing alone in the rain, bring it inside of your home.
Take it in and make it your own.
This is how you will not fail in letting your troubles slowly glide down a well to where they can no longer be seen.
If you do not see them then you will not know them like the back of your hand any longer.
The moment you adopt the kind of love that you once thought was far too distant and incredibly somber, you will find change, hiding in a corner waiting to be found.
Do not look past this change, it will run and hide somewhere else like a child, if you choose to deny its presence.
Listen to me when I say that change can come in different forms so you must not be so set in your ways that accepting something completely out of the ordinary, clouds your thoughts and puts you in some sort of a daze where you cannot take a breath and just accept things as they come to you.
Love and change will send you on your way to happiness, but you are going to hit some pebbles every now and then. This is how you grow.
Remember to always indulge in curiosity.
Let the ideas of the world flow all around your roots as you shed and become anew. You will always continue to grow, even on the days where your sun is not shining as bright or even at all. You must not let those days fade your love and make you seem like you have lost change forever.
Storms of rage are bound to pound at your door, especially whenever love has become you. In these times, stand with truth by your side, love in your heart, and mighty strength in your fists. When the door swings, you swing back.
This is how you live whenever you think you cannot live any longer.
This is how the fury of the darkness receives some of your light in order to create a balance in your life.
Note to self: You are not made to live easy, but it is true that you are made from the stars to create a significant mark in the universe and that is far more beautiful and far more important than the tiny troubles that you allowed once to wind around your body and pull you back into the ground from which you rose from long ago.
Finally, if you see hope fleeting high above you, climb a mountain to reach it. Do not ever let it go.
Numbness of creation,
Loss of literature.
Words feel empty,
Yearning to gather them up and use them... But they escape,
More like an attempt to paint with dry paint and a dry brush,
But words always fly back to their owners,
Filled and inspired; they fly back to the one to write them.
Stay positive :)
My flaws of yesterday
Still burns my hand
If I can have your ears
Please, bring me no sorrow.
To the place endowed with rainbow
Where fabulous story
With splendor and glory
Will tickle my chin,
Please lead and I will follow.
there are moments where we wish we could alter the past, but we cannot. we can, however, alter the future; and we must. there's value in a work-in-progress, but there's no respect in being remembered as a never-was. hear the seraphs cry, band together and march on! don't dismiss the ocean because the waves are thick. appreciate the waves, with their constantly crashing, breaking against the beach, one after another, towards infinity. with enough time, they will move mountains. can we not do exactly the same? when histories unborn ask of your contribution, what excuses will you make? what could you possibly say? that you mistook the concept of breaking for the finality of broken? that the effort lost meaning because you had nothing to say? you may not feel the blood pumping through your veins now, but you will certainly feel when it stops. don't allow yourself to be a tree, fallen, roots torn asunder from such resistance in the face of winds composed of change. if necessary, be the lightning that starts the spark that turns this stubborn forest to ash. if it won't bend, be sure it breaks! we are not intimidated by the scope of all this rebuilding. cherish such confidence. cry it from the rooftops. if actions speak louder than words, be the most deafening noise anyone has ever heard.