Feeling of dread as I fall in bed, as I squeeze my soft pillow to my head.
I feel loneliness growing within my chest.
The cold thoughts of woman within my past, stocking my dreams till I wake up in a scream.
My hopes that my dreams will be confined to the past so I can move on from my dreadful task of trying to find love within this lonely time of mine.
My heart has fallen on hard times.
Copyright 2017 Michael Robert Triska
Find what you can't express
and pin it down in words
Find what you can't see
and fabricate it in fantasies
Find what you can't feel
and embody it in adventures
Find what you can't speak
and let your eyes vocalize
Find what you "can't"
and challenge yourself
Find what you "never"
and take it a step further
Just once I'd like to run into you in person
Like how I imagine it in all the scenarios I make up in my mind
So you could see me as who I am now
So you could see the aftermath effect of you on me
Not that you would care
You haven't cared the last two years
Because you only care about yourself
Because you lack a conscience
Because you make messes and expect other people to clean them up
I'm still cleaning up the mess you made of my heart.
It’s only been two days
But it’s true, I miss you
I tell myself it’s just a faze
To stop myself from feeling blue
but spring has never felt colder
My bed's never felt so empty
Now, all I can do is wait for summer
To bask in your warmth and all your beauty
i've been breathing deeper,
caring more, loving harder,
smiling for the sake of smiling.
i've been losing sleep,
crying when you're not around,
getting high to block it all out.
i've been realizing this isn't easy.
exhausted after eight hours of sleep
spent in nightmares of lone times,
days spent fighting fatigue brought
on by the thought of your skin on
if i could tell you i would