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"torturing" poems
The thuds in my chest stopped being my heart a long time ago- my feelings ceased, and maybe me, the initial person I was, is knocking on my ribs begging for freedom. Throughout all the voices in my head, his is the lowest, getting tangled in with all the killers that took him, torturing him until he's nothing but a headstone. You don't see it, but I do, how I open my mouth to speak, and he's accepted I just won't accent my words the way he used to. My disappointment tore up your eyes, as you saw the person I was formed by a web of lies I loved to string up, and tried to pretend I wasn't struggling to get out-
0
May 20, 2018
May 20, 2018 at 11:33 AM UTC
Disappointment
my entrails seaping crimson blackness into my heart Bitten by the rotting incisors you force into my flesh My body seeking your gaping void mere mortals describe as a mouth Your dark hollow soul blackening Cutting my thin cold skin i let you in. Feeling our flesh merging in this torturing oneness, Filling the cavities of endlessness. i yearn to feel you feasting upon my clammy cold covering desiring for the essence of your inner being to take me whole devouring my crescent moon in undertones of a wild demonic frenzy Extracting dark passion from your soul Staring into darkest nights of your mind's cavity. Through your soul, a black gaping hole. Darklights seeping through my sanity. searching for a searing flame it matters not that my etheral love is a force from another plain i can only believe in the feeling of you Perpetual fear of being hurt long i went through. This torturing love you wrung me through. my cold dead heart lingers in a state of confusion serving only to terrorize my mind forever playing tricks on me for a soul ive left behind
0
Nov 21, 2010
Nov 21, 2010 at 4:39 AM UTC
an empty sanity (a collaboration between gothic mistress and satan)
I watch people in the world Throw away their lives lusting after things, Never able to satisfy their desires, Falling into deeper despair And torturing themselves. Even if they get what they want How long will they be able to enjoy it? For one heavenly pleasure They suffer ten torments of hell, Binding themselves more firmly to the grindstone. Such people are like monkeys Frantically grasping for the moon in the water And then falling into a whirlpool. How endlessly those caught up in the floating world suffer. Despite myself, I fret over them all night And cannot staunch my flow of tears.
0
10.3k
I Watch People In The World
I'm a democrat and republicans want this war to continue. People needs to wake up! I'm a republican and democrats want to keep spending despite our failing economy. People needs to wake up! I'm a Christian and Jesus will be coming soon. The Non-Christians and non-religious need to wake up! I'm a radical Muslim and the west is going to take over. Everyone needs to wake up! I'm a atheist and the religious radicals are trying to take over the country. Everyone needs to wake up! I'm a bigot and gays, Jews and blacks are taking over. People need to wake up! I'm an optimist and the world will recover. Pessimists need to wake up! I'm a pessimists and the world is messed up. Everyone needs to wake up! I'm a teacher and school is necessary for society to function. Kids need to wake up! I'm a vegan, because eating of and torturing of animals is inhumane. Everyone needs to wake up! I'm not a vegan because animals are needed for our survival. Vegans need to wake up! I'm anti-school and school is a prison. Everyone needs to wake up! I'm a racist and other races will take over. My people need to wake up! I'm an anarchist and the government is robbing us of our rights. Everyone needs to wake up! I'm pro-government and society needs order. Anarchists need to wake up! I'm an environmentalist and we are harming the planet. Mankind needs to wake up! I'm anti-environmentalism and the earth is fine. Environmentalists needs to wake up! People, wake up!! I'm a 9/11 truther and 9/11 was created by the government. I'm against truthers and 9/11 was caused by terrorists. Truthers need to wake up! I'm a conspiracy theorist and the government is hiding things from us. Everyone needs to wake up! I'm against animal testing because its unethical. People need to wake up! I'm for animal testing because we need to make sure our inventions work. Everyone needs to wake up! I'm a sexist and the opposite gender is taking over. My gender needs to wake up! I'm a creationist and evolution is a lie. Everyone needs to wake up!! I'm a scientist and creationism is a lie. Creationists need to wake up! I'm anti-capitalism because it robs people of their money. Everyone needs to wake up! I'm pro-capitalism because most wealthy nations are capitalists. Everyone needs to wake up! I'm pro-death penalty because some people need to die. Everyone needs to wake up! I'm anti-death penalty because criminals are people too. Everyone needs to wake up! I'm a militant and everyone is an enemy. We need to wake up!! I'm against war because war is ****** Everyone needs to wake up!! I'm a climate change denier and global warming is a scam. Everyone needs to wake up! I'm a climatologist and global warming is real. Everyone needs to wake up! I'm pro-life and abortion is ****** Everyone needs to wake up! I'm pro-choice and its the woman's choice. Everyone needs to wake up! I'm anti-gun law and people are crazy. Everyone needs to wake up! I'm pro-gun law and people are crazy with guns. Everyone needs to wake up! Wake up, Its a brand new day.....
0
Oct 8, 2011
Oct 8, 2011 at 11:51 AM UTC
Wake Up
I'm a democrat and republicans want this war to continue. People needs to wake up! I'm a republican and democrats want to keep spending despite our failing economy. People needs to wake up! I'm a Christian and Jesus will be coming soon. The Non-Christians and non-religious need to wake up! I'm a radical Muslim and the west is going to take over. Everyone needs to wake up! I'm a atheist and the religious radicals are trying to take over the country. Everyone needs to wake up! I'm a bigot and gays, Jews and blacks are taking over. People need to wake up! I'm an optimist and the world will recover. Pessimists need to wake up! I'm a pessimists and the world is messed up. Everyone needs to wake up! I'm a teacher and school is necessary for society to function. Kids need to wake up! I'm a vegan, because eating of and torturing of animals is inhumane. Everyone needs to wake up! I'm not a vegan because animals are needed for our survival. Vegans need to wake up! I'm anti-school and school is a prison. Everyone needs to wake up! I'm a racist and other races will take over. My people need to wake up! I'm an anarchist and the government is robbing us of our rights. Everyone needs to wake up! I'm pro-government and society needs order. Anarchists need to wake up! I'm an environmentalist and we are harming the planet. Mankind needs to wake up! I'm anti-environmentalism and the earth is fine. Environmentalists needs to wake up! People, wake up!! I'm a 9/11 truther and 9/11 was created by the government. I'm against truthers and 9/11 was caused by terrorists. Truthers need to wake up! I'm a conspiracy theorist and the government is hiding things from us. Everyone needs to wake up! I'm against animal testing because its unethical. People need to wake up! I'm for animal testing because we need to make sure our inventions work. Everyone needs to wake up! I'm a sexist and the opposite gender is taking over. My gender needs to wake up! I'm a creationist and evolution is a lie. Everyone needs to wake up!! I'm a scientist and creationism is a lie. Creationists need to wake up! I'm anti-capitalism because it robs people of their money. Everyone needs to wake up! I'm pro-capitalism because most wealthy nations are capitalists. Everyone needs to wake up! I'm pro-death penalty because some people need to die. Everyone needs to wake up! I'm anti-death penalty because criminals are people too. Everyone needs to wake up! I'm a militant and everyone is an enemy. We need to wake up!! I'm against war because war is ****** Everyone needs to wake up!! I'm a climate change denier and global warming is a scam. Everyone needs to wake up! I'm a climatologist and global warming is real. Everyone needs to wake up! I'm pro-life and abortion is ****** Everyone needs to wake up! I'm pro-choice and its the woman's choice. Everyone needs to wake up! I'm anti-gun law and people are crazy. Everyone needs to wake up! I'm pro-gun law and people are crazy with guns. Everyone needs to wake up! Wake up, Its a brand new day.....
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38
My mind is constantly occupied by the demons of my past and the omens of my future. Waging an impossible war, causing sickness, and torturing my conscience without remorse. I can hear the screaming of the casualties as I take one more sip, hit, or push. Begging for me to stop, but at the same time thanking me for the temporary numbness I can feel my heart exploding in my chest, as if it were trying to free itself from the slavery it is experiencing. Beat after beat it continues to grow weary and unsympathetic, Trudging through the chemicals and unrelentless lovers. all the while receiving no attention or appreciation. I can feel my soul, beautiful and full of life. As old as they come, with more stories than I would probably care to hear. Wise and wounded, healed and broken again. Becoming tougher and more layered much like the act of crafting an authentic samurai sword. Swift and elegant. Waiting to escape this imperfect body only to move onto another puppet of which it will guide and personalize. The beauty of these three broken and bruised vigilantes working in total harmony is the most beautiful and awe-inspiring thing I have ever come to know. I am greatful until the end, whenever that may be. I will enjoy the life that they have given me, and I will spread that energy to those in need of it. As ***** and tired as they may be, it is more than most will ever have the opportunity to experience
0
Nov 14, 2012
Nov 14, 2012 at 2:56 PM UTC
Vigilante
The brilliant blue of the sky today made me think of the color of your eyes in the bright light coming through your car windows, and how she was right next to you driving, blissfully unaware that you were torturing me with pictures of your face.
0
Apr 21, 2014
Apr 21, 2014 at 10:14 PM UTC
you are why I hate snapchat
I wear a double sided mask so that I appear as desired an yet I feel this feelings with wich I cannot relate because the mask is double sided and it doesn't match so I turn the volume louder than my thoughts no sleep no more and escape without end these worlds, these people they are better than this than me STOPSTOPSTOP these thoughts I scream internally why can't I be like the mask? the double sided mask it is better than this than me up the volume goes again the base resonating in my ears drowning the thoughts numbing the feels trimming the sleep charging the escape escape escape is all I know in the end the volume grew the thoughts the thoughts of violence to myself to my surroundings mentally torturing myself and killing my sleep my sanity my grades grades do I care anymore? yes says the mask the double sided mask no says the voice the dark voice in the back of my head and i I don't know not anything not a single thing I I want to be myself but who is this self I ask as I look trough the mask the doublde sided mask to the wall the wall i've built the mask is uncomfortable i've outgrown the mask the double sided mask once, the mask was my face and my face was the mask but my face started changing while the mask kept staying someday i'd  outgrow the mask that day is long gone but the mask the double sided mask the mask is familiar the mask is consistent the mask is desirable but my face? I ask the mask facing me no lies the mask the double sided mask I know it's true why else would I wear the mask?
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Jan 6, 2018
Jan 6, 2018 at 4:41 PM UTC
Double sided mask
I wear a double sided mask so that I appear as desired an yet I feel this feelings with wich I cannot relate because the mask is double sided and it doesn't match so I turn the volume louder than my thoughts no sleep no more and escape without end these worlds, these people they are better than this than me STOPSTOPSTOP these thoughts I scream internally why can't I be like the mask? the double sided mask it is better than this than me up the volume goes again the base resonating in my ears drowning the thoughts numbing the feels trimming the sleep charging the escape escape escape is all I know in the end the volume grew the thoughts the thoughts of violence to myself to my surroundings mentally torturing myself and killing my sleep my sanity my grades grades do I care anymore? yes says the mask the double sided mask no says the voice the dark voice in the back of my head and i I don't know not anything not a single thing I I want to be myself but who is this self I ask as I look trough the mask the doublde sided mask to the wall the wall i've built the mask is uncomfortable i've outgrown the mask the double sided mask once, the mask was my face and my face was the mask but my face started changing while the mask kept staying someday i'd  outgrow the mask that day is long gone but the mask the double sided mask the mask is familiar the mask is consistent the mask is desirable but my face? I ask the mask facing me no lies the mask the double sided mask I know it's true why else would I wear the mask?
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80
Unreciprocated love It's a popular topic, In songs and poems The hurt you feel is so strong, Always longing and looking. What they don't tell you Is how much it can hurt, being on the other end. Knowing that you could never understand What they see in you Or the depth of their affections Knowing that you have broken someone. You've fed the monster called fear, And you know that you have only given them more reason to doubt. "I'm Sorry" you say. Because it's the only thing you can say to someone, When you have bruised their heart. I wish you could understand, Rejecting you hurts me. We blame each other, trying to find fault until one comes to the conclusion, Control is impossible. Just like you can't force someone to love you You can't force someone to unlove you. So I let the anger go And release you from your torment. "End things on a good note" I tell myself. So I do just that, But no isn't in your vocabulary. You will always be wanting and wishing And hoping for me to change, While I wait for you in turn. But I guess we're both stubborn that way. So I say goodbye to what we used to be, Because we will never be the same. Knowing that whenever you see me, you will always want us to be more. So rather then torturing you with a distant, strained, friendship. I scribble down my thoughts, stick a stamp on it, And watch it leave. I had the last word. I hope it brings you closure. This is the last you will hear from me. I hope I stay kind in your mind. I hope I will be remembered as the girl who cared. But I hope I fade out of your thoughts, And be remembered as a dream.
0
Aug 17, 2018
Aug 17, 2018 at 7:55 PM UTC
Rejecting you hurts me
Unreciprocated love It's a popular topic, In songs and poems The hurt you feel is so strong, Always longing and looking. What they don't tell you Is how much it can hurt, being on the other end. Knowing that you could never understand What they see in you Or the depth of their affections Knowing that you have broken someone. You've fed the monster called fear, And you know that you have only given them more reason to doubt. "I'm Sorry" you say. Because it's the only thing you can say to someone, When you have bruised their heart. I wish you could understand, Rejecting you hurts me. We blame each other, trying to find fault until one comes to the conclusion, Control is impossible. Just like you can't force someone to love you You can't force someone to unlove you. So I let the anger go And release you from your torment. "End things on a good note" I tell myself. So I do just that, But no isn't in your vocabulary. You will always be wanting and wishing And hoping for me to change, While I wait for you in turn. But I guess we're both stubborn that way. So I say goodbye to what we used to be, Because we will never be the same. Knowing that whenever you see me, you will always want us to be more. So rather then torturing you with a distant, strained, friendship. I scribble down my thoughts, stick a stamp on it, And watch it leave. I had the last word. I hope it brings you closure. This is the last you will hear from me. I hope I stay kind in your mind. I hope I will be remembered as the girl who cared. But I hope I fade out of your thoughts, And be remembered as a dream.
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51
Rejection There is a tightness in my chest, because repeatedly I've been put to the same test. Torturing me over and over again, I'm longing now for emissary vein. How much longer should I maintain optimism, it just wants to carry on to pessimism. It's a wound that won't stop bleeding, but still showing gratitude and I'm still breathing, for how longer should I except defeating. I've been tested to love, but she won't love me back. I've been tested to be shoved, but thereafter I can't remain in place for walking upright on that track. I've been tested counting down the list of all Woman whose affection was unreturned. But this list is yet far from having a cut to be undeterred. Thereof I'm asking myself again" Does true love really exist ? Today I still would say yes, cause I've been able norishing my list.
0
Jul 19, 2015
Jul 19, 2015 at 8:15 PM UTC
Rejection of affection
I’m trying to convince my friends that I don’t like you anymore and that I only think of you as a brother. But am I trying to convince them or myself? I close my eyes and see your ridiculous smile I see you in the faces of my school mates I see you everywhere My heart aches every time I think of you Is this love? Probably not Love don’t exist I see the proof is my friends heartbreak and my parents fights But how do you manage to make me feel like this Get out of my head you’re driving me crazy Stop it You’re torturing my brain This is an endless torture You’re a personal devil sent straight from the fires of hell to torture me To make my heart crumble as I listen to you talking about another girl Feel my heart break into a million pieces and crumble into ashes as I see you with another girl This is against everything that I stand for I refuse to let this get to me I will be immune to you I will be immune to everyone else I will be heartless (s.a.)
0
Jun 19, 2014
Jun 19, 2014 at 6:05 AM UTC
Heartless
"do you love your sin enough to burn in hell forever?" Who? Who is that sin..? That beautiful girl next to me? And to answer your question, if this was sin, yes. A million times yes. Waking up today to see her face smiling at me is worth it. And when Satan is torturing me, I'll remember the love I have received from her. That is how it isn't a sin. Because this love isn't twisted, it isn't hurting anybody, and I am happy and so is she. It is real love. And we aren't hurting anybody. Why do you care so much about my life and who I choose to be with? Doesn't affect you none. So **** you and your empty words that shouldn't pack in so much hurt. But they do.
0
Dec 27, 2013
Dec 27, 2013 at 3:46 AM UTC
Discrimination
I live with my broken heart I live with my dying part I can't believe that I still live Even in my dream I can't have your love I have wings but I can't fly I'm torturing but I can't cry I can't live without you but I will try Even stars don't shine on my black sky Why does my destiny not on your way Although I've seen the Sun and Moon together If I could open your heart with this key I would be with you forever!!!
0
Jan 24, 2014
Jan 24, 2014 at 11:37 AM UTC
u have never know that...
morning wakeup 7oclock fully charged human life Having breakfast, hurry hurry cant adapt heavy traffic battery capacity out of 50% shouting manager **** my battery daily torturing pressure work work more work speed team leader warning heavy heavy task making me twist Out of control battery dead
0
Feb 12, 2015
Feb 12, 2015 at 7:48 AM UTC
Amazing battery life
THE TORTURING VOICES you see my dad was watching the cricket with us and i watched it with him, and it was very fun, you see we saw australia being beaten by the west indies, because they were so cool, you see, we were the cricket boys and no robber wanted to rob us, because we were into australia’s favourite sport, cricket you see i heard a non realistic image of my father saying brian’s not a mans kid, brian’s not a man’s kid and i was trying to relax and calmly watch the match and my family were unrealistically teasing me, mind you they were having fun and the words they said were different to me as it was for them brian’s not a mans kid, don’t get kidnapped brian be like us brian’s not a man’s kid, and watched the cricket, ya know trevor chappell doing an underarm ball mum called cricket, anything and everything which has everything you hate well, i don’t believe that, i was feeling like trying to be a mans kid brian’s not a mans kid, brian’s not a mans kid and i was getting these awful visions, i wanted these voices to stop you see people in canberra were doing it too, but they looked like fierce kidnappers and i said you can’t get me, i am a sports watcher so i went home and obsessingly watching the cricket and AFL and rugby league, rugby union you name the sport i watched it, and i fell asleep in front of the sport you see i have this vision that mens kids watch the sport, mens kids watch the sport brian’s not a mans kid, **** off ya hooligan away from us you see, i wanted at that stage a hooligan to my dad and i had someone grab me outside a club and i kicked him saying, get off me ya kidnapper, you won’t get ya hands on me mate and dad was watching the cricket and enjoyed it, but i got frustrated with all that teasing i didn’t want to be kidnap victim and i hate being my families or friends little teasie i battle voices saying how is our little tease doing hey but i hated when people wanted to bully me, saying your family are like us, your not i said i like sport and they said, no you don’t, your family does, and your not like your family mate, your like us now man i told my voices to **** off, and they said, your not like your family, your like us and this made me into a little 2 year old boy, i hated that voice i remember i loved watching agro, which was a funny puppet on channel 7, and the mens kids said don’t watch agro, watch cheezeTV, which was the cartoon show on the other channel and my voices going crazy saying, you are a crazy person, who is too old for baby agro and you are not like your family, your still like us, buddy i screamed out, LEAVE ME ALONE, i am a sports watching mans kid and dads image said brian’s not a mans kid, brian’s not a mans kid but it could’ve been greame thrones kidnapper or patrick dunbars kidnapper i said voices, ‘stop', i wanted to be like my family, they said you are not like your family, your still like us and i said, they look cool, and you guys look stupid, please leave me alone there is also a man who wanted me and my brother tied to a pole, but we felt we weren’t immortal, but cool i went into pubs to dance and watch the sport and i felt like a cool man brian’s not a mans kid brian’s not a mans kid, stay in there koomarri man, get ****** mate went the little homebody kid as i was watching the canberra bushrangers baseball team played, yeah totally awesome dude brian’s not a mans kid, I WISH IT’LL ALL STOP
0
Jun 25, 2015
Jun 25, 2015 at 2:38 AM UTC
VOICES BACK IN THE 90S, SPORTS WATCHER
THE TORTURING VOICES you see my dad was watching the cricket with us and i watched it with him, and it was very fun, you see we saw australia being beaten by the west indies, because they were so cool, you see, we were the cricket boys and no robber wanted to rob us, because we were into australia’s favourite sport, cricket you see i heard a non realistic image of my father saying brian’s not a mans kid, brian’s not a man’s kid and i was trying to relax and calmly watch the match and my family were unrealistically teasing me, mind you they were having fun and the words they said were different to me as it was for them brian’s not a mans kid, don’t get kidnapped brian be like us brian’s not a man’s kid, and watched the cricket, ya know trevor chappell doing an underarm ball mum called cricket, anything and everything which has everything you hate well, i don’t believe that, i was feeling like trying to be a mans kid brian’s not a mans kid, brian’s not a mans kid and i was getting these awful visions, i wanted these voices to stop you see people in canberra were doing it too, but they looked like fierce kidnappers and i said you can’t get me, i am a sports watcher so i went home and obsessingly watching the cricket and AFL and rugby league, rugby union you name the sport i watched it, and i fell asleep in front of the sport you see i have this vision that mens kids watch the sport, mens kids watch the sport brian’s not a mans kid, **** off ya hooligan away from us you see, i wanted at that stage a hooligan to my dad and i had someone grab me outside a club and i kicked him saying, get off me ya kidnapper, you won’t get ya hands on me mate and dad was watching the cricket and enjoyed it, but i got frustrated with all that teasing i didn’t want to be kidnap victim and i hate being my families or friends little teasie i battle voices saying how is our little tease doing hey but i hated when people wanted to bully me, saying your family are like us, your not i said i like sport and they said, no you don’t, your family does, and your not like your family mate, your like us now man i told my voices to **** off, and they said, your not like your family, your like us and this made me into a little 2 year old boy, i hated that voice i remember i loved watching agro, which was a funny puppet on channel 7, and the mens kids said don’t watch agro, watch cheezeTV, which was the cartoon show on the other channel and my voices going crazy saying, you are a crazy person, who is too old for baby agro and you are not like your family, your still like us, buddy i screamed out, LEAVE ME ALONE, i am a sports watching mans kid and dads image said brian’s not a mans kid, brian’s not a mans kid but it could’ve been greame thrones kidnapper or patrick dunbars kidnapper i said voices, ‘stop', i wanted to be like my family, they said you are not like your family, your still like us and i said, they look cool, and you guys look stupid, please leave me alone there is also a man who wanted me and my brother tied to a pole, but we felt we weren’t immortal, but cool i went into pubs to dance and watch the sport and i felt like a cool man brian’s not a mans kid brian’s not a mans kid, stay in there koomarri man, get ****** mate went the little homebody kid as i was watching the canberra bushrangers baseball team played, yeah totally awesome dude brian’s not a mans kid, I WISH IT’LL ALL STOP
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46
I feel the walls of my mentality breaking down. The defense mechanism has failed. My weakness has been found. Bombs bombard my frontal lobes. How much time do I have left? That's a question nobody knows. But the army of stress wages through. Setting fire and killing cells, torturing them as the army continues to move. My head throbs with pain, my legs join my arms in what feels like an earthquake; Heart pounds with tremendous force, my body is on a crash course. The room becomes an amusement park ride. While different moods pass me by. Day after day the symptoms increase. Today may be the day when I accept defeat. Socializing has become a thing of the past, all I have is panic attacks. Happiness has finally been lost. Without a map, and at what cost? Control center has been compromised. Here I am, I have met my demise.
0
Jul 17, 2014
Jul 17, 2014 at 2:26 PM UTC
Breakdown
The same song looping over and over… The same suicidal thoughts torturing my sanity… Repeats accruing on infinite piles of ruble, Vigorously fighting these thoughts, These demons of mentality, A constant cartwheel of emotion… Always racing… Not ceasing for a mere second… Forcing the pill in my mouth, And then another, And another… The only mental painkiller is death… I feel numb, Darkness seeps into my vision… Blurring reality… The Pain is going away… I feel alive as I feel myself die… Emergency Medical Squads break the door down… I sit there, Watching them cycle electricity into my body as I blindly stare, Eyes not moving, Weak, You never came. I want to tell you I love you until it becomes white noise… Always knowing I love you, Never doubting yourself again… I want to make love until we are one… My body and yours… Sharing the night, and day… Filling senses with pleasure and love… I want to hold you until you are weightless… A feather in my arms… Carry you up to a safe place on a dark night… I want to love you forever… I want to love you till stone itself evaporates into the air as it boils underneath the red giant sun… I want to love you when the Universe rebirths or collapses… I want to love you when the bell tolls, The bell does not mark the end, It will never end, I will love you always, Forever, Not stopping even for a supernova… No matter how lovely, how vivid, how colorful the painting… Toxic fumes are given off, The closer you look the more cracks and flaws you’ll find… No matter how soft the wood, how elaborate the carving, You can’t even begin to feel all the splinters… All the cuts, The closer you get the deeper the grooves… This rusty drain has grown clogged of emotion and dust… Wonderful you say… But that is just for now, Today. My past is dark, dead, rotten, Who knows if the future will be any different. Today I have a moment of peace, You, A bright blue gem shining in the darkness, So pure it becomes it’s own light-source, Echoing beauty throughout the blackness, Illuminating me, True Commitment, Warm and sweet Love, Unquestionable Trust, Seraphic Beauty, Everything I need… I sit here questioning these words… Thinking of the purest way to put them, But emotion is not pure, It’s ***** rough, and raged, But when I talk to you that emotion turns into something different, It turns into satisfying warmth that runs through my body… The past evaporates into the air, Dispersing and losing its importance, You are my future, Not the past.
0
Dec 29, 2011
Dec 29, 2011 at 2:03 PM UTC
Three Five Minute Poems
The same song looping over and over… The same suicidal thoughts torturing my sanity… Repeats accruing on infinite piles of ruble, Vigorously fighting these thoughts, These demons of mentality, A constant cartwheel of emotion… Always racing… Not ceasing for a mere second… Forcing the pill in my mouth, And then another, And another… The only mental painkiller is death… I feel numb, Darkness seeps into my vision… Blurring reality… The Pain is going away… I feel alive as I feel myself die… Emergency Medical Squads break the door down… I sit there, Watching them cycle electricity into my body as I blindly stare, Eyes not moving, Weak, You never came. I want to tell you I love you until it becomes white noise… Always knowing I love you, Never doubting yourself again… I want to make love until we are one… My body and yours… Sharing the night, and day… Filling senses with pleasure and love… I want to hold you until you are weightless… A feather in my arms… Carry you up to a safe place on a dark night… I want to love you forever… I want to love you till stone itself evaporates into the air as it boils underneath the red giant sun… I want to love you when the Universe rebirths or collapses… I want to love you when the bell tolls, The bell does not mark the end, It will never end, I will love you always, Forever, Not stopping even for a supernova… No matter how lovely, how vivid, how colorful the painting… Toxic fumes are given off, The closer you look the more cracks and flaws you’ll find… No matter how soft the wood, how elaborate the carving, You can’t even begin to feel all the splinters… All the cuts, The closer you get the deeper the grooves… This rusty drain has grown clogged of emotion and dust… Wonderful you say… But that is just for now, Today. My past is dark, dead, rotten, Who knows if the future will be any different. Today I have a moment of peace, You, A bright blue gem shining in the darkness, So pure it becomes it’s own light-source, Echoing beauty throughout the blackness, Illuminating me, True Commitment, Warm and sweet Love, Unquestionable Trust, Seraphic Beauty, Everything I need… I sit here questioning these words… Thinking of the purest way to put them, But emotion is not pure, It’s ***** rough, and raged, But when I talk to you that emotion turns into something different, It turns into satisfying warmth that runs through my body… The past evaporates into the air, Dispersing and losing its importance, You are my future, Not the past.
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Dear Sasha, A war is coming, I am aware of its gravity and I don’t know if I am ready, To answer your question in your last letter, Why do I cut so deep? It’s because I know how words can cut deeper than any sword, Don’t give me the bull **** that, “sticks and stones can brake bones and words can never hurt you” Sticks can snap your bones, But words can snap your spirit and mind, And these times are hard on my spirit, “Time heals all” but these wounds will take longer So don’t tell me words don’t affect my life If someone sits there in your face saying, Your stupid and irresponsible long enough, Torturing you constantly with their literary daggers, You start to believe it, You start to feel, As much as I want to shrugged it off, It weighs me down, This curse called empathy, A curse of a pacifist, I take every word to heart, And it ****** me off, I know I am not what they say, But this name tag on my uniform is all I have left of my identity, I’m not sure if It’s true, But I can’t help believe it anyway, Don’t tell me to shrug it off, Cause you can’t remove these battle wounds, If you keep chiseling at this stone pillar it will crumble, Letting loose my dogs of war, I cut deep, Cause I know the strength of words I follow the golden rule, So don’t make me use these literary daggers, to leave lasting marks on your psyche, Cause trust me I have, And I can rip apart your world and all of its glory, Cause I was trained to do so, Make you doubt your identity, cause mine was taken, Cause it’s easy to make my pain…. yours, But that would be too easy. I will turn these daggers upon myself, Because “If you have nothing nice to say don’t say anything at all” If you are struck down, You want to strike back, These words and thoughts don’t just disappear, These arrows are sharp and drawn, I have to let them go somewhere, Ill cut and stab myself before I hurt another, I’ll take your pain for you, No matter how much you don’t like me and try to tear me down, I will not lash out, I will not strike back, Because that would make me no better than you, I will cut myself before I cut you, I cut myself so deep, Cause I get over the pain, The scares stay but the pain doesn’t, As I finish this letter the anger has already left, “you’re only as happy as you make yourself out to be” So I will take the full force of their swords, because I won’t dwell in the pain, So I am going to move on from the hate, So why do I cut myself so deep?, because I know now I am strong enough to take it,​ Yours truly, The empathetic warrior
0
Jan 23, 2014
Jan 23, 2014 at 3:51 PM UTC
Empathetic Warrior
Dear Sasha, A war is coming, I am aware of its gravity and I don’t know if I am ready, To answer your question in your last letter, Why do I cut so deep? It’s because I know how words can cut deeper than any sword, Don’t give me the bull **** that, “sticks and stones can brake bones and words can never hurt you” Sticks can snap your bones, But words can snap your spirit and mind, And these times are hard on my spirit, “Time heals all” but these wounds will take longer So don’t tell me words don’t affect my life If someone sits there in your face saying, Your stupid and irresponsible long enough, Torturing you constantly with their literary daggers, You start to believe it, You start to feel, As much as I want to shrugged it off, It weighs me down, This curse called empathy, A curse of a pacifist, I take every word to heart, And it ****** me off, I know I am not what they say, But this name tag on my uniform is all I have left of my identity, I’m not sure if It’s true, But I can’t help believe it anyway, Don’t tell me to shrug it off, Cause you can’t remove these battle wounds, If you keep chiseling at this stone pillar it will crumble, Letting loose my dogs of war, I cut deep, Cause I know the strength of words I follow the golden rule, So don’t make me use these literary daggers, to leave lasting marks on your psyche, Cause trust me I have, And I can rip apart your world and all of its glory, Cause I was trained to do so, Make you doubt your identity, cause mine was taken, Cause it’s easy to make my pain…. yours, But that would be too easy. I will turn these daggers upon myself, Because “If you have nothing nice to say don’t say anything at all” If you are struck down, You want to strike back, These words and thoughts don’t just disappear, These arrows are sharp and drawn, I have to let them go somewhere, Ill cut and stab myself before I hurt another, I’ll take your pain for you, No matter how much you don’t like me and try to tear me down, I will not lash out, I will not strike back, Because that would make me no better than you, I will cut myself before I cut you, I cut myself so deep, Cause I get over the pain, The scares stay but the pain doesn’t, As I finish this letter the anger has already left, “you’re only as happy as you make yourself out to be” So I will take the full force of their swords, because I won’t dwell in the pain, So I am going to move on from the hate, So why do I cut myself so deep?, because I know now I am strong enough to take it,​ Yours truly, The empathetic warrior
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I see you everyday And everyday it hurts I don't know what to say But everyday gets worse This feeling in my heart Is torturing my soul And when we are apart I feel so alone If only you could know What I feel for you If only someone told me What I have to do What I have to do To one day make you mine Can it one day come true? Can happiness be found?
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Oct 24, 2015
Oct 24, 2015 at 7:08 AM UTC
I See You Everyday
*An innocent heart Broken, but somewhat mended, Battered and bruised Is what it is rendered. Torn fragments scattered, Widely spread, Tarnished, traumatic memories Stored in her head. Constantly torturing herself, Wondering how different Life could have been, If, but only, When she was younger, Traumatic situations, She hadn't encountered, Experienced, felt, or seen. She had no choice but to follow The path of forgiveness To remain sane, She realised that long ago, Forgiveness became A minute-by-minute decision   She had to make, But still, her PTSD, Anxiety And Depression didn't leave her... Oh no! She still can't help feeling frustrated, Knowing that her life Wasn't meant to turn-out tainted This way, As grateful as she is For all of her countless blessings, She still cannot rid her tainted, Traumatic memories, They torture her every single, Blessed, precious day. By Lady R.F. (C)2017*
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Jun 29, 2017
Jun 29, 2017 at 4:02 AM UTC
PTSD Awareness - Tainted Life
bones creaking, thoughts creeping from the back my mind and take form in the shadows. my thoughts seem to be leaking. I have a castle in my mind which has turned me blind. dark corners occupied with foreigners. these evil creatures walk free torturing me; protection is seldom, shine is not welcome, and there is no hope of rebellion
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Dec 12, 2015
Dec 12, 2015 at 7:14 PM UTC
nowhere
*The words they speak are sharper than blades And their looks, daggers that could tear a skin Their eyes are blind, can't see what's inside* Like shadows they creeped Stabbing backs and innocence deemed Always lurking in the darkness Justice they served but lives diminished *Your flaws are something they gaze The truth made me daze The word equality is no longer in their vocabulary How can they fire bullets without thinking the lives they perceived Trash in their brains are twirling like a tornado slowly messing their thoughts slowly killing feelings, everywhere they go* Dictated by their own free will Cowered in fear as they thought it was real What they've seen, deception in mutilation Power overrule by those who torture Torturing minds, creating lies The innocent happily flying kites But they cut it with pure contempt Convincing they will get that chance again "Listen to the words you seek Don't listen to a word they say Do NOT listen to a word you've heard Do not listen to a word you've heard People are people we live for our own Live how you think not by what you've been told" *In God's eyes we're all the same where do you think we all came?* Don't let them fool you By their tools of deception We are all the same We will die someday So maybe, it's time for a change. -Adele Karla & Erenn
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Jan 30, 2015
Jan 30, 2015 at 1:40 AM UTC
Silhouettes of Camaraderie (Adele ft. Erenn)
When I went out in search for faithfulness in this world I got to know that I’m searching on the wrong address When I went out in search for faithfulness in this world After whose coming my life had become complete Happiness was benevolent upon me, all my shortcomings were fulfilled Why did I get punished without any reason? Why after giving me dreams, she took them all away? If I continue living on, I feel like I’m torturing myself She made a fool out of me in such a way When I went out in search for God in her heart I got to know that I’m searching on the wrong address When I went out in search for faithfulness in this world
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Jun 10, 2014
Jun 10, 2014 at 9:41 AM UTC
faithfulness in this world
A certain spectrum of whiteness still is delusional it thinks it is still torturing black people in private It functions as if it is out in the barren ocean on a slave ship choosing captives to **** degrade and throw to the sharks and the patterns of society are used to it like the sharks that changed their feeding patterns based on this **** and killing by slave overseers The white slave overseers enjoyed **** so much and the money from it that a whole social structure was designed around it the Ivy league institutions made this possible the government made this possible communities made this possible you make it impossible please and thank you
0
Jul 10, 2016
Jul 10, 2016 at 3:16 PM UTC
feeding patterns
Naught but mockery. In the back of my mind, I've always recognised why Why all those nights, I fought sleep, Why all those days, Appetite didn't come. Didn't sleep again last night. And I rose from bed, reluctant as ever to return to a heart-torturing reality. The hot scalding shower, wasn't hot enough. And when it was, I closed my eyes, Calm reigning my soul. I walked the streets, Drizzle of rain splattering on my face, It was as though everything was fine, Yet everything wasn't. I felt everything wrong, But everything was right. I, I, I wanted to stand in the middle of that street, And await an incoming car. Nothing in me protested, Except for the mind, the god fearing mind. My heart was silent, eerily calm. I hailed a cab, got to school like everything was fine, But the emotions on my face probably couldn't lie. All bottled up, in a bright corner I sat, just wanting to let it all out. Yet again, The heart-torturing reality interferes. Figured, why I never was a fan.
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Dec 18, 2014
Dec 18, 2014 at 10:04 PM UTC
Fearless