Naught but mockery.

In the back of my mind,
I've always recognised why
Why all those nights,
I fought sleep,
Why all those days,
Appetite didn't come.

Didn't sleep again last night.

And I rose from bed,
reluctant as ever to return
to a heart-torturing reality.

The hot scalding shower,
wasn't hot enough.
And when it was,
I closed my eyes,
Calm reigning my soul.

I walked the streets,
Drizzle of rain splattering on my face,
It was as though everything was fine,
Yet everything wasn't.

I felt everything wrong,
But everything was right.

I, I,
I wanted to stand
in the middle of that street,
And await an incoming car.

Nothing in me protested,
Except for the mind,
the god fearing mind.

My heart was silent,
eerily calm.

I hailed a cab,
got to school like
everything was fine,
But the emotions on my face
probably couldn't lie.

All bottled up,
in a bright corner I sat,
just wanting to let it all out.

Yet again,
The heart-torturing reality interferes.

*Figured, why I never was a fan.