Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
3d · 899
japheth 3d
you’re not


of love.

they weren’t

just worthy

of yours.
Aug 29 · 320
japheth Aug 29
there are poetries

meant to be read,

there are poetries

meant to be spoken,

but all poetries

are meant to be felt.
Aug 29 · 151
japheth Aug 29
you are a preposition.

you are in my heart.

you are on my mind.

you are at my doorstep knocking.
Aug 29 · 57
japheth Aug 29
i'm tired.

i'm tired of things i know i can't control but still try my **** hardest to.

i'm tired of smiling all throughout the day making sure the people i'm talking to don't think of me as a **** joy.

i'm tired of faking a laugh just to please the people who throw jokes at me as if i'm not in the room with them.

i'm tired of walking as fast as i can back to my place so i could finally be in peace.

i'm tired of always finding myself in situations i'd rather not be found as i sit in the corner blurring the noise out by reading stuff on my phone.

i'm tired of fitting in.
honestly, i am.
Aug 25 · 94
japheth Aug 25
i've always thought


was an ending:

finally having your lips close to mine when i wanted,

finally walking down the street with your hands holding mine,

finally sleeping beside you hearing your heartbeat ever so calmly.

i thought this was it;

that love has finally settled down after running all over the place

– in what i'd say a wild goose chase –

but it was only the beginning:

i start to feel what it's like to kiss someone that will make my heart beat fast.

i start to feel ecstatic walking down a street holding hands with someone knowing they'll never let go.

i start to sleep with someone beside me, knowing our faces will be the first thing we see every morning.

i've always thought


was an ending.

only to realize,

it was the jumpstart

of a wonderful journey.
hello all. i have been reading my past works and wow, there's this inexplainable growth or shift with how i write. i don't know if it's a good thing or not, but i think i've been writing longer. anyway, if you have the time, do read some of my works. and let me know your thoughts.
Jul 19 · 162
japheth Jul 19
if love
wasn’t meant
for fools like me,

then God
shouldn’t have made
you smile at me.
Jul 18 · 358
my cat bit my earphones
japheth Jul 18
my cat bit my earphones

i am a person who commutes everyday with my earphones on. i listen to music and i dance to it. doing what seem to be small jerks to the public but a series of big and grand moves in my head. i was a dancer.
but my cat bit my earphones.  

i hum the tunes ever so softly only to find out the stares from the people i ignored the whole ride, could hear me. i was a singer.

a silent performer.
for the audience of none.
and yes, my cat bit my earphones.

i am a person who can’t live without it. i listen to music and i zone in. i cancel all the thoughts in my head and just be. in the midst of beats, melodies, harmonies, and lyrics i was at peace. the maximum volume became my version of quiet.
and yet my cat bit my earphones.

the cheapskate in me stops me everyday from buying a new pair even if in exchange i’d have to embrace a new kind of quiet.

the quiet shared by the people i commute with:
the roaring engines, the horns of cars following no beat at all, the shouting of the barkers and conductors rapping with no flow. i hear everything. i was a listener.

a loud performance
for the audience of one.
all because my cat bit my earphones.

i blame my cat everyday for this punishment. i love my cat but sometimes i wish she could pay for it or even apologize for that matter. but i have no choice but to continue my everyday commute without my earphones.
****. my cat bit my earphones.

the thoughts i can’t mute when i commute now screams loudly begging me to listen. begging me to write them down. begging me to finally piece together all the words i know will make sense when given time. i am a writer.
i just can’t help myself but think that my cat bit my earphones.

now i am a person who commutes everyday without my earphones on. i listen to my head and i feel it. putting together ideas and emotions that may seem unpolished to me but could be something great to the public once heard. i am an artist.

a performer.
for the audience, i’m the one.
all because my cat bit my earphones.
Jul 18 · 119
japheth Jul 18

i sit down on a bus ride home and there’s this idea swirling in my head. i thought to myself,
“this actually sounds right. i should write this idea down.”
i took out my phone and wrote the first few words this idea in my head gave me.
i know I’ve written something. i know i’ll get back to it when i get home. i know there’s more to this idea in my head that will turn this few words into a sentence. to a paragraph. never ending word structures until i see fit.
i know i’ll finish this soon.

i put my phone down and stare outside the window. the view is nice. thousands of cars passing by as the traffic goes smoothly. another idea comes to mind. this time, it’s longer than a few words. it’s a jumble of thoughts. thoughts about cars moving, sound of traffic, the love of movement, and time passing. as these thoughts swirl like storm in my head, i pulled blinds of the window until only a slit of light passes through, a line of moving light flickering, i reach for my phone and open my twitter. i scroll through my timeline until the storm turns to rain, to drizzle, to quiet raindrops and at last, to a calm sunny day. thoughts i wish i’ve written, now long gone thrown in a heavily locked safe inside my head with the password written in a paper inside of it.

i scroll through my timeline again and i came across a poetry slam. as an emotional person, i cry at his words as if it actually was meant for me. as i continue to listen, the sunny empty day inside my head starts to create dark clouds again. it growls and rumbles, spewing lightning bolts down and i quiver. i am afraid. i know it wants to be heard but i try my best to ignore it. thunderclaps. it spoke. it rang my head till it couldn’t be ignored. i gave in.

i wrote. this time with all the words this dark cloud in my head gave me. there was no order. no structure. no idea. just words and pure emotion and i wasn’t stopping.

my fingers became a whirlwind. the storm in my head in sync with my whole body. i tremble. i am the storm. i stormed down the emptiness of a blank note page with thunder of words. rainstorms of emotions. lightning bolts of phrases, of sentences.

as the storm inside my head slowly turns to white, wringing its clouds to drizzle light rain. i add the finishing touches. the storm knows our work is done. it bids goodbye and gives me the calmness of white clouds and sun. i became calm and the bus stops.
Jul 17 · 61
japheth Jul 17
sinabi mo sa akin mahal mo ako
naniwala ako.

sinabi mo sa akin ako lang
naniwala ako.

sinabi mo sa akin, habang hawak ang kamay ko,
na “nandito lang ako.”
humawak ako nang mahigpit
at naniwala ako.

sinabi mo sa akin habang ako’y yakap mo
na di ka bibitaw na kahit kailan
maasahan ko ang pagbalot ng iyong mga kamay sa aking katawan
yung tipong lahat ng lamig sa mundo
mga problemang di ko ginusto
mawawala na lang sa init ng katawan mo.
oo, naniwala ako.

sinabi mo sa akin na ako lang
na hinding hindi ka titingin sa iba
sa parehong paraan ng pagtingin mo sa akin
at naniwala ako.

at naniwala ako.

naniwala ako at ipinangako ko sa sarili ko
na simula nang sinabi mo na mahal mo ako
wala nang mas gaganda pa sa paningin ko kung hindi ang mukha mo.

ang mukha ****
sa ngiti palang na naniwala akong pwede palang maging masaya
sa mata palang na naniwala akong nakita na kita — nahanap ko na.
sa bawat pisngi **** naniwala akong may paglalagyan pala ng mga labi kong uhaw sa halik.

naniwala ako sa lahat.

naniwala ako sayo.

may mga oras din namang nagduda ako.
sa bawat away
sa mga masasamang salitang nabitawan
sa kada luhang pumapatak sa ating mga mata
sa mga di pagkakaintindihan
sa mga muntik nating pagbitaw.

naniwala pa rin ako.

naniwala ako sayo.

pero di ko inakala
na ang tiwala
ay dahan dahan din palang nawawala.

isang kandilang ilang minuto na lang
apoy nito mawawala.

kahit ilang beses kong sinabi sayo
na ako’y di mawawala.
na ako’y nandito lang wala ng iba.
na ako’y naniwala
sa iyong salita,
sa iyong ganda,
sa iyong lahat na.

kahit na tayo’y magkasama
ang puso mo nasa iba na.

naniwala ako mahal mo ako.
pero ako lang pala ang ganito.

sinabi mo sa akin
tapos na tayo
naniwala ako.
na wala ako.

wala na ako sa puso mo.
i’ve stopped writing because I was afraid i cant finish a piece worth reading. i had so many unfinished work in my head that I never put into writing. last night, before I slept, this idea came to me and i immediately had to write the first pew phrases down so i could get back to it the next mornjng.

today, on a train ride going to work. i finished it.
Jun 26 · 46
japheth Jun 26
i miss my jaded self. i miss the person who got hurt so much his only option was to bleed ink and cry poetry. i miss the dark rooms filled with only the noise of the streets below and lights from buildings across.

the alcohol stained floors, the cigarette butts on the floor, the messy bed, a sight i thought i’ll never long for but here i am.

lived in different rooms all over manila. different rooms but overall same angst. i miss them all.

as i look again in the mirror. a version of myself with content written all over my face and body. i let out a big sigh because soon enough, this face, this version of myself, will also be part of the things i’ll miss after a year or so.

i miss my jaded self.
and soon enough, i’ll miss this content self too.
Jun 9 · 187
japheth Jun 9
i have so much


to give



to receive.
May 30 · 71
japheth May 30
pagod na ako.
this isn’t twitter but our tiredness is poetrt waiting to be translated. “I’m tired” in english. Such few words. hear it as a whisper but it screams loud in your head.
May 29 · 122
japheth May 29
you’re not an
worth skipping.

you’re a
worth bingeing.
May 23 · 308
japheth May 23
it was
an emotional fling
—we both cried.

i cried because
i couldn’t have you;

you cried because
he’s with somebody new.
May 22 · 161
japheth May 22
i was able to rise up
from the same waters
that i drowned in.

have i gotten out of the water?
i guess not.

but i did learn to swim in it.
it’s been awhile. hello writing.
May 5 · 164
japheth May 5
to the alternate us;
the universe where we’re together
— i love you.

to the version of you
that i embrace on a cold weather
— i love you.

to my “what if”
in this world
but my “what is”
in another
— i love you.

if in this timeline
we’re not meant to be,
then i’d gladly accept it with glee.
because i know
a version of you out there,
is happily loving a version of me.
Apr 19 · 104
japheth Apr 19
i was ready.

i was ready to fall again.
ready to jump without any hesitation.
to see my lips form to a smile for another person.
to feel the butterflies in my stomach come alive again.
to know that i’m falling and someone’s going to catch me, as soon as possible, before i hit the ground again.

i was ready to open myself again.
to show what has been hidden inside of me:
all the darkness that i’ve fought, all the light that i’ve ignored.
to know that i’ll be welcomed, no matter how **** my past must’ve been, with open arms.

i was ready to be with someone again.
to hold their hands, fingers intertwined, in broad daylight.
to sing my favorite songs in the car as we drive late at night.
to feel the warmth of their face as they pull their face close to mine for what seemed to be a kiss.

i was ready for it all.

but he wasn’t.
written this piece for a friend who almost wanted to date a guy who seemed to be nice but apparently isn’t as committed as she thought he was.
Apr 8 · 80
japheth Apr 8
in a meeting in a small room and you want to throw your trash at the other side of the room.

it’s a small room for some. it’s not that hard to stand up, go to the corner and throw it down the bin.

but not for you.

as soon as you see the distance, it just gets farther. it’s as if the room itself multiplied its space 10 times.

your chair clings on to you as if its weight is connected to your body. with its pegs all drilled down to the floor.

the eyes of everyone, oh dear, their judging eyes once you do decide to stand up and walk, you’d feel as if they were just waiting for you to make a mistake. to trip and fall, to spill the coffee you were holding on to your shirt because we all know it’s not the caffeine that makes your hands quiver.

you wait. you wait till everyone in the room goes out.

you, holding that piece of trash in your hand, unlatch yourself to your chair, walk calmly and quietly towards the bin, giving one last glance at the trash you held as if it were the only witness that could tesify the whole story.

you let it go and walk out of the room.
anxiety without saying it
Apr 6 · 277
japheth Apr 6
di ko alam kung ako lang ang ganito
o marami ring taong nahihirapan ang emosyon ay ipagtanto.

nahihirapan isulat, ilagay sa kwaderno,
buhatin ang lapis, at gumawa ng mga letrang bubuo sa isang kantang ikaw lang nakakarinig.

isang kantang sumusigaw sa puso’t isipan
isang boses na nagsasabing “ako’y pakinggan.”
isang bugkos ng mga salita na di mo alam kung pag pinagtabi tabi mo na sa iyong papel
ay magkakaroon ng kahulugan.

madalas akong ganito.
na andaming gustong sabihin ng utak ko
pero ni bibig ko o ang kamay ko ay di alam kung paano ito ibubuo.

bakit ang dali magsulat?
pero ang emosyon, hirap na hirap ibuklat?

nananalangin ako
na sana may taong lalapit dito
para turuan akong sabihin kung ano nasa utak ko.

ngunit kahit meron mang ganung tao,
alam ko di parin niya makukuha ang aking gusto.
dahil ang mga salita na galing sa utak ko,
na para sa akin ay kumakanta ng napakagandang musika
ay sa kanya naman, halos pareho, pero di gaanong tugma sa pagkanta.

kaya oo.
kahit hirap na hirap ako,
na sabihin sa lahat ang emosyong sinisigaw ng mga piyesa sa utak ko,
tuloy parin ako sa pagsulat kagaya nito.

dahil onti onti kong naiintindihan
na ang lungkot, saya, o mapa ano man,
ay iba iba ang kahulugan sa tao.

pero pare parehong ang dama ng nagagawa nito sa puso.

This piece represents where I am now in terms of my writing. It’s been an awful couple of months and slowly I’m losing touch.

I keep forgetting that the only thing stopping me is myself. That’s why moving forward, I’ll keep on writing.

Ilalaban ko ang pagmamahal ko sa aking sining.
(I’ll fight for the love of the art.)
Apr 5 · 166
japheth Apr 5
i want to see you naked.


not in that kind of way.

i want to see you bare. i want to see your heart. how it beats fast when we do something crazy. how it slowly thumps when you sleep and i wrap my arms around you. i want to see all the cracks — all the proof of how strong you are and how you mended each and every single time it breaks.

i want to see you naked.


in this kind of way.
it’s been awhile since i last wrote something. i’ll write again. there’s nothing much to lose.
Feb 18 · 1.3k
japheth Feb 18
if ever

you don’t


like you have a home,

pull me close,

wrap your arms around me,

rest your head on my chest,

close your eyes,

and feel the warmth of the fireplace

resonating from within my heart.
Feb 11 · 265
japheth Feb 11

princes - s
wait - i
at the - h
top of - t

their tower. - e
waiting for - k
a rapunzel - i
to toss their - l

long hair up - t
tied at the end - s
with a grappling - u
hook and climb it - j
Feb 10 · 372
japheth Feb 10
it’s the silence.

           the quiet.

the stillness of the atmosphere.
the silent buzzing,
ringing sound in your ears.


           everything in
           that screams:

the whispers of your past,

the calmness of now,

the mystery of your


listen to the quiet as it scream words

your ears cannot hear,

           but your heart
           and mind could
Feb 4 · 490
japheth Feb 4
i stopped writing.

not because i don’t want to.

it’s because i couldn’t.

i couldn’t bear the fact that i would have to feel pain and sadness all over again to write something only a few people would understand.

i couldn’t find the exact words. the right sentence. the perfect way to say the emotion i want to show, ending up saying more than the thought itself.

i couldn’t face an empty screen with the line continuously blinking as if begging me to release the letters out of it — teasing it constantly knowing i would just stare at it and close my phone afterwards.

i couldn’t find the right moment to write. and when i thought it was, i just end up thinking about all my “i couldn’t”s never finishing anything i write.

it’s so easy to say, “just write. it’ll come to you soon enough” but little do those people know it’s as hard as it gets.

one day, i write something amazing. amazing to me at least. and the next day, you don’t write anything at all — scared to create a new one that’ll forget the existence of the previous one.

i stopped writing.

but i keep imagining.

writing on my head but never putting them into words. locking them up as safe as possible inside my head where only i could reach. only i could appreciate. only i could admire.

i keep them.

and if one day,

if i get the strength to stop saying “i couldn’t”

i know it’ll all make sense.

but for now,

i’ll have to stop writing.
hello everyone. it’s been a long time since i last posted. and honestly, it’s really because i don’t know what else to write about. it takes a lot of time and effort to write something and i don’t think i’m at that point to give as much. i’m sorry.
Jan 16 · 105
love part 2
japheth Jan 16
what you do with it is all up to you.

but love, in its singularity isn’t bad.

love makes you do weird things you wouldn’t expect in hopes of getting a taste of it.

but love, oh dear, how do you make it so hard and simple at the same time?

how do you make it hard for words to come out of my mouth but so simple to make me smile with your corniest jokes?

how do you make it so hard for me to look in your eyes but so simple for you to look into mine?

how do you make it so hard, no difficult for me to lean in, look into your eyes, and kiss you but so simple for me to just bite my lips and laugh at how miserable my attempt was?

how do i do with you, love?
actually, never mind. but hey, message me though.
Jan 16 · 109
love part 1
japheth Jan 16
there’s nothing wrong with falling love.

there’s nothing wrong with asking them out at 2 am to go to a coffee shop miles away and not even buy coffee.

there’s nothing wrong with looking at a lake on top of a cliff at night looking down at the well lit houses beside it imagining they were constellations.

there’s nothing wrong with drinking a beer or two — calling help from alcohol —- just so you could be a little bit more obvious that you do, in fact, like them.

there’s nothing wrong with asking how big or small their hands are, comparing it to yours, aligning your hands with them, then swiftly intertwine them together.

there’s nothing wrong with love.

it’s everything but.
talk to you soon, okay?
Jan 14 · 180
japheth Jan 14
i’m sorry.

i’m sorry that i have to always leave this hole in my heart empty.

i’m sorry that i have to, everyday, make sure this hole has nothing in it

—afraid to fill something else in:

something else that might not fit the same way you did before.

i’m sorry for the sound it makes:

how it creates screams that resonates up until the very tip of my fingers,

how the void echoes deep constant hums that imitates the way my heart beats,

how it just beckons me to fill it in, knowing it’ll just turn that something to nothing.

i’m sorry for ever feeling this way again.

i’m sorry for telling myself i’ve filled it already when it’s obvious

i didn’t.

it’s still the same hole — in fact, it’s bigger than ever.


day by day it gets larger, i don’t know.

but it just feels like it’s eating away what’s left of my heart.

i’m sorry.

i know i’m not supposed to feel this

but i already am.
i’ve never felt this way of sadness again. first time this year huh. i know it’s not a good piece but i just want to let it all out
Jan 1 · 216
japheth Jan 1
every year,

i've always hoped
for a plot twist.

but this time around,

i won't.

why wait for one

when you can twist fate

here's to a year of me being in control
Dec 2018 · 476
japheth Dec 2018
nothing like
and skin care
in the morning
Dec 2018 · 203
japheth Dec 2018
a conversation.
planning to write a book filled with all the pieces i wrote here and there with my cousin who writes too.
Nov 2018 · 1.4k
japheth Nov 2018
you ever wonder
how your
— the ones
you see
as day —
look back at you?

a blur.
i saw this photo my friend shared to me and how there’s so many pictures that you just know the words that could explain it but couldn’t really put them into a sentence? that’s how it is. fortunately, before i was about to doze off, i thought of the picture again and then it just came to me.
Nov 2018 · 238
japheth Nov 2018
the glass of water
i’ve filled for months
with the slight touch of your finger,
it poured over.

i’ve grown enough
to easily fill up a pitcher.
self love, *****
Nov 2018 · 1.2k
japheth Nov 2018
i wish
i could forget
your zodiac sign
so i wouldn’t have
to read yours
after i read mine.
zodiac horoscope love moving on pain feel emotion
Nov 2018 · 960
japheth Nov 2018
i don’t think
it’s possible
to unlove you

— and i don’t have any complaints.

i’ll just love myself more
until i forget
what it means to
not have someone around

and focus on having
myself around — present at all times.
hello im back after three-four weeks of hiatus. it’s been a rough month for me bc i’m doing great at the job i reallt wanted so i want to focus on that. i’m still practicing how to write happily so stay tuned for more. ily hello poetry community, without u guys, i dont know how id pick myself up
Nov 2018 · 99
japheth Nov 2018
keep adding floors,
my beloved building.

add a floor,
and then another.
be a skyscraper.

if you think
this is the penthouse,
think again

— you deserve to see farther.
hello. i’ve been really blessed to be very busy right now with my life and im at this point where i just keep building to the top.

hope you guys are doing well.
Oct 2018 · 373
japheth Oct 2018
the king
gave you
this puzzle
called life

and you,  jester,
rose to the occasion.

instead of figuring everything out,
you played around
— which meant
all rules you bent,
all instructions swayed,
all directions detoured,
everything but the puzzle was solved.

but irregardless,
the king was delighted
in your efforts
to make the court laugh
and in the end,
he gave you the key

and you threw it away
with glee.
life isn’t always about figuring everything out. most of the time it’s about the things that  revolve around it that matter and how you’re gonna have fun with it.
Oct 2018 · 134
japheth Oct 2018
i’m writing
a eulogy.
it’s not
for someone close to me
who died recently,
for someone who loved me dearly
whose love died
when i presented my demons
and couldn’t take them individually.
i’m writing a story for film and i felt like my character is so selfish. so here’s what the character is feeling when she’s crying her eyes out writing out the pain and consequence of her actions
Oct 2018 · 286
japheth Oct 2018
our love is poetry:

a series of rhymes
of words with identical ending
having different beginnings.

an assonance
of words totally unrelated
but were fit together as intended.

a consonance
of words that invites a trance
as if urging me to dance.

an alliteration
of words i hear that ignites a flame
but soft and as warm as fleece.
i read this book and really tried hard to understand the different ways to write and the word association. miss u guys.
Oct 2018 · 882
japheth Oct 2018
just keep writing;

write as if the sentences you create
were new languages waiting to be translated

write as if the words side by side
were meeting each other for the first time

write as if the letters on your keyboard, or the ink of your pen
were only created just to make the masterpiece you’re creating.

and don’t doubt yourself ever.

for the words you write,
may be someone’s sorrows,
may be someone’s joy,
may be someone’s hope for tomorrow.
Oct 2018 · 247
japheth Oct 2018
i wish i could write
when i’m happy.

i wish i could write
without reminding myself
that i should be happy.

i wish i could write
not only for myself
but for those whose hearts
were broken
reminding them
that it’s alright
and one day,
they’ll be happy.

i wish i could write.
it’s been awhile, my friends.
i have been focusing on my mental health which is actually doing great.

i’ll practice writing now in this state of mine
Sep 2018 · 169
japheth Sep 2018
i’ve always wondered
why it was so easy
for you to move on.

then i remembered,

when i was
moving out
of your heart,
lifting box after box
of clothes i own,
of items i bought,
outside your porch,
trying to take
everything i had left
— making sure i leave as little to no trace of me,

you were already
letting someone else in.

as i was cleaning out the pictures of us,
you were already replacing the frames with new ones.

as i was removing the covers of the bed, the sheets, the pillows,
you had a whole new set ready,
just waiting for me to leave.

as i was waiting for the cab to
pull through your driveway,
you were already expecting someone
coming your way.

and that’s how i knew.
and i don’t think i’ll ever move to another place sometime soon.
Sep 2018 · 234
japheth Sep 2018
if i wrote
a book,
the dedication
would be
like this:

“to everyone
who broke my heart,
who helped me
put it back together:
gave me
all types of
to those who
watched and cheered
as i build it back.”
i haven’t been writing and it’s all because i’m in a really happy place. i wrote this piece while i was thinking of compiling everything i wrote and then self publish it.

i hope i really push through with this one.
it’s gonna be hard work but if this works out, i’m all in.
Sep 2018 · 247
japheth Sep 2018
i hope
that when the time comes,
the pieces of
your heart
that were
taken away
from you:

some you gave away

but mostly were stolen
and you realizing it was
gone too late,

come back to you in another form.

another face,
another smile,
another embrace,
another set of hands to
hold again,

i hope it does come back to you

— replace what’s been taken

as if it was never broken in the first place.
Sep 2018 · 323
japheth Sep 2018
you see,

once you
that you
were never part
of someone's orbit,

you'll notice
the right planets,
the heavenly bodies
you once admired,
come and intensely
gravitate towards you:

an extraordinary
celestial body
— unlike the sun —
shines without exhaustion.
Sep 2018 · 155
japheth Sep 2018
i envy
the mirror
for always being
the first
and last
to see all of you;

how mesmerizing your smile is,
how dreamy your eyes are,
how the curves of your body
create slopes not even
the most beautiful mountains
could compare,

i wish i could see it all.

but unlike the mirror,

you can hear the words coming out of my mouth,
you can feel my embrace as i caress your skin
as if it were a vintage vase,
i could say something funny and then your smile will just effortlessly come out.


the mirror should envy me;

for i could
and feel,
the beauty
that is you.
been a long time since i wrote. but im getting back. now to more exercises!
Sep 2018 · 341
japheth Sep 2018
i’ve tangled with a lot of bodies
after we ended.

i’ve knotted myself with different hearts
pretentiously knowing that this pain i’ve felt could be mended.

i’ve scrambled those ties in my hands and how easy it was for me to un-knot them.

one knot comes in, after a few days, weeks, or sometimes but not often, months, slowly it detangles itself and i leave untangled, unbroken, as if nothing went past these lines on my heart, my body, my lips, like it didn’t happen at all.

i thought those messy tangles i put myself into would be as hard as when we had to untangle ourselves — or just me, i guess — from the oh so short but very sweet time we’ve had together.

but, i was wrong.

i wasn’t left untangled,
i wasn’t unbroken.

i still had a little not, tied in between my heart, body, and lips, which i try so hard not to notice by putting myself out there, messing my own lines up till i catch someone who ends up letting go afterwards.

to you,

we’ve already part ways,

to me,

you barely left.

i wish you could untangle this knot you left.
i wish you could mess with mine again, and probably leave a bigger knot — so obvious that i’d give up trying to fix it.
i wish to see how your soft hands would carefully untie, over then under then pull and stretch, this knot and maybe i could finally figure out that it was so easy that i didn’t even need your help.

but you’re gone.

and i have to accept that.

it’ll take time before this untangles by itself so i’ll just let it be for awhile.

and when someone does come not only to tie their heart with mine,
but also untangle what you had left behind,
then i’ll be fine,
and know that now’s my time.
to the guy who i loved for two short weeks, thank you. i still love you and i’m happy you have found someone who’ll love you just the way you like it.
Sep 2018 · 424
japheth Sep 2018
as i
was kissing
another person’s lip,
i remember you
— the way
i kiss him
is still the same
with how we do it

until he said,

“no, wait. stop.
i don’t like this.”

that’s when
i realized,

i wasn’t kissing him.

i was kissing
our memories
back together.
it’s been awhile since i last hooked up with someone
Sep 2018 · 3.8k
colour blind
japheth Sep 2018
i loved to paint using your colour.

i’d go day and night, from one canvas to another, using different shades of you to paint all kinds of pictures.

i never lost any ideas.
i never had to find inspiration.
it all just comes to me whenever i look at you.

one day, i woke up colour blind. and unfortunately, it’s in your colour.

all the paintings, all the sketches, all the canvasses that were of your colour, plastered, hanged, and taped all over my walls doesn’t make sense anymore.

it was all grey. all dull. a colour i know existed but never really tried using before.

i tried searching for your colours in the things you’ve touched. the words you’ve said. i searched everywhere but whenever i do think your colour will come back, my eyes revert to reality.

now you’re just a memory.

your colour will only exist inside my mind.

those shades i loved. the pigments i crave to achieve every time i stroke my brush. it’s all in my head now.

it’s been years now. you’re colour isn’t as bright as i thought my memory would remind me of.

i paint with a different colour now.

actually, i paint with all the colours now except yours.

all those nights i spent painting, it’s with every colour i come across but yours.

now my wall’s full of colour again. all from different parts of me. colours i never knew existed.


i’m happy. i’m content.

i’m colourful.
Aug 2018 · 175
japheth Aug 2018
i thought
our love
was deep
the wounds
were deeper.
that’s why im taking my time to heal now that your lashings are gone
Aug 2018 · 135
japheth Aug 2018
if it meant
i had to write forever
to get to your heart,
then prepare
for the small notes
i’ll pass to you every time i see you smile,
for the little songs
i’ll sing every time you sway your hips and move your soft hands to its beat,
for the poetries, oh god,
for the poetries i’ll continue to write
as if i’m writing a book only your eyes are worth to see,

if i had to write forever
to get to your heart,
then all will be worth it
for i’ll never fall apart.
inspired by To All The Boys I’ve Dated Before. such a sweet love story.
Next page