japheth 4d
what you do with it is all up to you.

but love, in its singularity isn’t bad.

love makes you do weird things you wouldn’t expect in hopes of getting a taste of it.

but love, oh dear, how do you make it so hard and simple at the same time?

how do you make it hard for words to come out of my mouth but so simple to make me smile with your corniest jokes?

how do you make it so hard for me to look in your eyes but so simple for you to look into mine?

how do you make it so hard, no difficult for me to lean in, look into your eyes, and kiss you but so simple for me to just bite my lips and laugh at how miserable my attempt was?

how do i do with you, love?
actually, never mind. but hey, message me though.
japheth 4d
there’s nothing wrong with falling love.

there’s nothing wrong with asking them out at 2 am to go to a coffee shop miles away and not even buy coffee.

there’s nothing wrong with looking at a lake on top of a cliff at night looking down at the well lit houses beside it imagining they were constellations.

there’s nothing wrong with drinking a beer or two — calling help from alcohol —- just so you could be a little bit more obvious that you do, in fact, like them.

there’s nothing wrong with asking how big or small their hands are, comparing it to yours, aligning your hands with them, then swiftly intertwine them together.

there’s nothing wrong with love.

it’s everything but.
talk to you soon, okay?
japheth 6d
i’m sorry.

i’m sorry that i have to always leave this hole in my heart empty.

i’m sorry that i have to, everyday, make sure this hole has nothing in it

—afraid to fill something else in:

something else that might not fit the same way you did before.

i’m sorry for the sound it makes:

how it creates screams that resonates up until the very tip of my fingers,

how the void echoes deep constant hums that imitates the way my heart beats,

how it just beckons me to fill it in, knowing it’ll just turn that something to nothing.

i’m sorry for ever feeling this way again.

i’m sorry for telling myself i’ve filled it already when it’s obvious

i didn’t.

it’s still the same hole — in fact, it’s bigger than ever.

maybe

day by day it gets larger, i don’t know.

but it just feels like it’s eating away what’s left of my heart.

i’m sorry.

i know i’m not supposed to feel this

but i already am.
i’ve never felt this way of sadness again. first time this year huh. i know it’s not a good piece but i just want to let it all out
japheth Jan 1
every year,

i've always hoped
for a plot twist.

but this time around,

i won't.

why wait for one

when you can twist fate

yourself?
here's to a year of me being in control
japheth Dec 2018
nothing like
cigarettes
and skin care
in the morning
japheth Dec 2018
a conversation.
planning to write a book filled with all the pieces i wrote here and there with my cousin who writes too.
japheth Nov 2018
you ever wonder
how your
demons
— the ones
you see
clear
as day —
look back at you?

a blur.
i saw this photo my friend shared to me and how there’s so many pictures that you just know the words that could explain it but couldn’t really put them into a sentence? that’s how it is. fortunately, before i was about to doze off, i thought of the picture again and then it just came to me.
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