the taste of her breath, I'll never get over.
              the noises that she made kept me awake.

             ohhhh,
              
              the weight of things, that remain unspoken.
              built up so much it crushed us everyday.

hello sunshine,
           where have you run to?
I hear it's wonderful
           in California.
        
                      ~

I've been missing you,
          shining over the waters so blue.

But tonight,
                            we'll shine

           brighter than
                                            any day


            tonight,
                                      ­   we'll have sunrise

                at 2 am
                                                & sunset at mid-day.

                                                         ~
  
  
The sweet chamomile gently blossoms as their scent drifts through the spring-kissed summers day; the trees shed their tight buds & give their leaves to the wind to play. The sky blue, brings a warm whisper of heady scents & endless nights & long summer sunsets soaking in all of Mother Earth's finest essence.

                                                     Beneath the kaleidoscope sky,

                                           a heartbeat, lulling
                               steady breathing, gentle humming

and an indescribable, unforgettable, lost feeling
                                                                behind a minds eye.

I lay
still on my uncovered
mattress, the bottom
sheet has been somehow
lost in the
abyss of my blanketed
hideaway

The tree
branches broken, their
remains still sway
another lonely night
another bitter,
cold day awaits.

Goosebumps scatter
themselves amongst my
arms and I cannot
stop the clattering of
teeth. Programmed,
trained to be sustained throughout
life, I'm a puppeteers
finest masterpiece.

I dream,
I sew clovers together
in hopes to find
dumb luck
But the vines, in disguise
with a mind of their own
grow to imprison me
caged, stuck

*****.

fingertips against sore muscles
constellations on skin

star embedded irises reflect
a universe within.

stardust & moons cusp
varied stages of wax & wane

limitless yet weighted heavy
upon my orbital plane.

try as I might, I can't ignore
as planets grow closer

and comets soar

the parallel gravitation
I've tried so hard to ignore.

Out of the corner of his eye he spotted,
                       a young woman,
        with dark red hair
                                    eyes of forest green
    and skin ever fair.

She smiled, her red blooming tulips.
               The sun in her gaze,
   for they shined.
                                             "and I wish they were mine"

                                                                    but,
what
he
  doesn't
   know
    is
     she's
      gotta
       man
         back
          at
           home
             and
               she
                 won't
                    wear
                       her
                         rings
                            when
                              she's
                                going
                                    on
                                      patrol.

Like the seasons, we

                 flirt, ****, hate, repeat

                           an incredible future upon each of our shoulders

                          and who knew it'd be the thing that holds us

back from everything we've ever felt together

we both knew we meant forever

                                                                             but slowly, surely

                                                                                        day by day

I assure you darling,

*I'm fading away.

Green with envy, black with beauty
Red with passion, the blues not soothing.

White to black, in three seconds flat.
Love to hate, in just a snap.

Choose a side, any side
As long as it's one

Bite the bullet faster
And prepare your own gun

Crazed, then organized
Grey matter in between

Choose a hand, any hand
And call her your queen

Tell her you want her
Then want her to die

So settle her off
With a bullet behind her eye

Feel sadness, then succession
A stab of painful regression

Heavy hearted,
Though your feet shall tread light

As you run, disappear
Into the black curtain close of night.

the shadows dance on the spot you left
indented in the mattress
a reminder of its emptiness.
we destroyed ourselves in the nick of time
to sell our souls to the new age
and uncover all the sins we wished to find.
the wind shakes the trees and my bones
our bodies no longer a place we call home
through trouble and turmoil
you'd think we'd have grown
but instead, we're trapped
in crowded bars, streets and houses
alone.

apart from me
a part of me
you lay-
somewhere in between.
floating oh so
carefully, in
a neutral, languid
purgatory.

as you speak, your
words float past,
here today
and gone so fast.
tell me, dear
which conversation
will be our last?

not that I care,
I simply don't
have the energy to.
besides,
it doesn't mean
that much to me
to mean that
much to you.

though down
the rabbit hole
I go
and the other side
breaking through.
for Alice doesn't
concern herself
over the
attention she
garners from
a mere shrew.

Your still drowning in my mind,
           you do this on purpose.

                                                Calamity on the surface,

waves of comm
                             uni
                                      cation dead

Floating in the ocean of my head

                                        Among the graveyard of ships,
       and all left for dead.
                                                                   Lies all of the things

that we left
                                    unsaid.

You give me such a head rush,
   The kind where you lose your breath
        Face flushed

Where I'm stuttering on every word
   Filled with electricity,
      Power surge

You want me?
   Well come on and ******* find me
      I'll be waiting

Resisting the urge to
  Even think about what you do to me
    Patiently

I don't know how long
  I can hold it in- until you see me?
    Maybe

But can I resist the urge to burst
  When you're underneath & inside of me
     We'll see

                                            *I love you sir

Speechless cannot hold
The emotion
I feel essential to express

                                                   My


                   Sensitive



                                                 Eccentric



                      &




                                        Endeared


Cancer man.

                                    You
                              Cannot
                            Even
                        Fathom
                      The
                    Restraint
                  It
                Takes
              To
            Stay
          Speechless

I could listen to your soulful melodies sung to me, lovely
all night long
Play with the curls that fall in mishappened beauty past the long lashed brown irises,
That I simply not resist
I could paint worlds, and write oceans to each and every song
Nothing can describe how your lips feel touching mine, even now sitting lone & my heads still spinning
When I left that night he told me I was winning,
Oh. The teasing game, we open our souls and pull heartstrings with no shame
And it's you my dear for these arrythmatic heart patterns, I blame
Head against your broad chest,
I know you feel the same

'tis inexplainable, that foreign "beyond words" sensation- the incomplete isolation.

embody the human experience with me;
let's start the evolution of a revolution
that we all so desperately need

I pass streets crowded constantly with thousands of unfamiliar faces

walk the broken, cracking sidewalks to all the odd & end little places

upon the dark grey sludge that layers the sullen, dreary old city streets

still in mind the valleys and forests of evergreen

beneath the aged chalk stained, blackboard styled sky

amid the most royalest blue of seas

reel in your life full of anchors
for we could simply sail miles,
days suspended above the earths varying tides of infinity and eternity

find a paradise no human soul
would care to believe

amongst uncharted territory
we may construct our own society

sipping honey from one anothers souls
lets escape

we have our world to see

the
      outside of
my hard
         heart he chisels,

                               and melts the inside with                   his heated stare.

Sir
      always
                seems
                         to make up for all of the

            



       missed-kisses

                                      he places them

     stratigically,


                                irrestibly
    

  across my skin- bare,
  goosebump covered,
  shaking like a wee leaf
  
  gentle with strength beneath,
  passionate, heart filled
  sweet release

enjoying our missed kisses

White lights,

          
                     Twinkle distantly


Yellow

          Streets

                         Full of life

             Heavy

                                                 Haze


Why.         Don't


              You


Join



Me

     My life

           My city

                 My world
                
                        My universe
  

                                           Our eternity ~

My throat must a venue
                                       for The Lonely Hearts Club Band



I swallow my pulse
                                 and hold my tongue in my hand.


                                

Vivid lucid reality,  
                               popping all my stitches at the seams




on the other line, your consciousness fades
                                                           ­           as I envy your quest for dreams.





You're always in my heart though,
                                                      ros­ary beads in hand with your protection





for it is in nights like this, I simply wish
                                                         for a moment of undying affection.






Arms around me through the night,
                                                          ­ the morning sun in his hazel eyes;




filled with smiles for all eternities
                                                      ­& a stomach full of butterflies.




                                                            ­                                                   xo

The rain puddles in the cracked city pavement, a drowning vision of striking familiarity. Nostalgia encasing those mulling over their Earl Greys in coffee shops. A wooden stir dissipates the bubbles in the steaming liquid, contrasted by the cool droplets streaking down the ordinary windows. As breathing slows, eyes lock deep in thought upon the bustling, grey castle streets. She slows as she steps to the sidewalk, meeting a gaze before they realize. Her face like snow, her lips like two tiny rose petals just starting to push from their blossom. Her eyes as dark as they are deep, rounded and child-like. Coming to, the strangers been locked on one another for just half a second longer than deemed socially acceptable. She breaks stare, adjusts her bag; and with her hooded head to the ground, makes her way past the old coffee shop.

My body stuck awake, with all his beautiful words painted in my head from yesterday. It's 5 am, and I still don't have a word to say; an old-fashioned romance, we remain all but intimate. The saccharine serenity of his skin against mine, the brush of a kiss we share time to time. It all seems so much sweeter, with time passing beneath us

And,
everyday it feels
just a little
easier to breathe

a load off my chest
an unfamiliar ease.


Your chiselled-to-perfection smile chips away
the cheap, peeling paint
of my tired displays

in the ocean of my eye you are no such castaway
I can do my best to promise you I'll never just walk away


You told me you wanted to fly
(I've always been scared of heights)

But instead of giving me wings,
you taught me how to take flight.

If I had to lose a mile
If I had to touch feelings
I would lose my soul
The way I do

I don't have to think
I only have to do it
The results are always perfect
And that's old news

Would you like to hear my voice
Sprinkled with emotion
Invented at your birth?

I can't see the end of me
My whole expanse I cannot see
I formulate infinity
Stored deep inside me

If I had to lose a mile
If I had to touch feelings
I would lose my soul
The way I do

I don't have to think
I only have to do it
The results are always perfect
And that's old news

Would you like to hear my voice
Sprinkled with emotion
Invented at your birth?

I can't see the end of me
My whole expanse I cannot see

I formulate infinity
Stored deep inside me

It took me months to realize, that sometimes
I wish she hadn't died.
I held her head as life slipped from her eyes
as her heart fluttered its last bumping butterflies.

She really was my only family
Now I sit alone,
in this big wooden house
just as it is
hollow & empty.

it's going to be a long day
long night
long morning
whats the difference
if you don't


sleep



anyways.

The delicate, pearlescent petals between my legs
      dance with euphoric grace as his strong, weathered hands caress my thigh

Magnetic electricity- my hair stands on end
goosebumps litter my palour
             an epitome across my skin

Though black clouds may cover past days
                    I know through even the wildest.
of storms- we'll always try our hardest
                           to find the best way      
We'll make it out alive, I know I said
                                  I'm dead inside

My love,
               you're bringing me back to life

I promise baby I trust you
And oh, you know I love you

But do you still want me ?
Your little baby
Is so very sick
sick
sick
in the head

Now don't lie to me
Whisper to me quietly
Would I still look as pretty dead?
May I take a peak inside your head?

I need to know

If your favourite colour is red
Or is it blue?
Both seem just as alluring to you

But how should I know?
Is your heart on your sleeve is just a show?
I'll ask, but I already know

you are as lovely within
as you are on the skin

For you
my grinch heart grew
3 sizes, did you say?
Must be our lucky day

send me to the chorus
tropical tunes take me away
drop the bass
let the reverb fade

I have all the time in the world to waste on thoughts of passing yesterdays and let the sky unfold in front of me like one of Picasso's masterpieces-
for the most part it leaves me speechless.
Skill grander than all- you cannot simply teach this

                                     ~

And i feel like lately the thing that kept me (in)sane
was all of that whiskey,
cheap food and *******
dont worry baby
I swear my whole brain chemistrys changed but just keep in mind
all my demons left untamed

No, I don't think I'll never be the same me
I'll always be a little crazy
All because of these
finely ground, exhilerating white lines
in between petty crimes

from bathroom stalls to thousand dollar coffee tables
each cut a string loose
that was keeping my floaty mind stable
coming back to reality,
a complex cat's cradles
all going on under the table

With everything so sporatic, did you read all of my tale?
But only those with displayed dedication know if it is fact or fable.

space closes, time passes
seasons change, bringing inevitable difference with them.
as years draw by and sketch new lines on your face
I face the reality that,
one day, everyone will age.
from the moment you are born, you are already dying
life sends diseases of the mind and body to weaken you.
nobody is spared.
that's why so many are drawn to stories of death and despair
because we know it is right under our noses,
around every street corner,
behind every sunny spot, a shadow.
is it beautiful? ironically.
but is this really the way to live fulfilled? happily?
I have no answers,
I guess we'll just have to see

Breathe in reality
Exhale insanity

Notice how
Insanity
In-sanity
Comes from within

In-side we are all In-sane.

You,
  you are the cause of your own demise
  shelling yourself away in
  a mere attic of your marvelous mind
  selectively mute
  & self-paralyzed.

      Shake your self awake now!
      I just can't seem to understand
      how such a beautiful soul
      can be so strung out of sorts
      when my tiny heart
      pumps all of it's oxygen to provide
      some sort of love & support.

          Heart beat, fingers on your pulse
          lets race our hearts
          till we've nothing but beaten pulps.
          In all of my small wounds
          I've made, remind me
          to fill them with salt.

              I've slit my throat
              here's your perfect American movie scene
              slow, merciless & know, if
              it helps you breathe-
              every time your name escapes my cracked lips,
                                                                                

                                                                                                       I bleed.

Burnt brown sugar, sweet grass carefully caramelized.
Be blessed with few seconds of solace, the fragrance of better times.

Mother moon, always mentioned within the many stanzas to each other
is at this moment in time
a sliver of an eggshell, hanging perilously against the night sky.

A few months prior, we expressed with equal desire
to share the feelings in between words we

wrote so
faithfully, to one another in areas we grieve & aspire.



A time where,
I wasn't so in love with another.



Please pardon my newly birthed, lusterless attempts
to stay close to you.

You are still so special, so needed to me
Each sentence of your literature, brings my heart up to speed.

And darling, you are aware of my love for the ocean,
do you see how much you mean to me?

I beg of you to understand, comprehend & perhaps accept
that without your presence, acceptance & guidance

I am lost at sea
*is this my penance?

There once was a girl
Blonde, with a southern drawl
Told by many
She was the fairest of them all

But all too soon
Her face seemed all but alive
And she said to me
"Things as fair as me, are not allowed to survive"

She became dependant
And lost the light that once sparkled in her eyes
And as fast as the world had spit her out
She let it **** her back in, and died.

peace within the chaos,
compensation
for the screaming
silence.

insanity has called me,
and this is my penance.

a slight zephyr,
marks my severance

there is no turning back,
in my defense-

not everyone
deserves a
second chance.