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Apr 30 · 124
beth haze Apr 30
I've always been someone who feels intensely.
Someone who notices the things that no one around them
seem to pay attention to.
Someone that sets focuses on the small things and
romanticize them to no end.
Someone who plays them in a loop on their head and
overthinks every detail.
Someone who creates expectations for everything around them
even though they know it'll hurt them in the end.
Someone with a never-ending inner battle
in between their heart and their head.
Someone with an everlasting lost look on their face who
you think has nothing going on up there.
But there's something.
A memory of every half-smile, every laugh,
every tear, and every frown ever felt,
emotions ready to creep back up into the surface again
at any given time. No warnings attached.
- whirlwind.
beth haze Jun 2019
I don't even know why my eyes feel heavy anymore.
Is it the sleepless pocking trough or the tears that I'm yet to blink away, burning behind my eyes while reminding me of the fact that I'm not over it.
Maybe it's a combination of both, maybe I'm just tired of not being over it.
Perhaps, I'm just tired of my mind wandering back to you every chance it has, finding excuses to turn every thought back to us, yelling louder and louder when I try to block it out.
And I know to talk it out it's useless, 'cause
it's hard to talk to someone who is not listening but
a part of me continues to have hope that one day,
you'll start paying attention again.
Before it's too late.
- yelling thoughts into a void.
May 2019 · 117
beth haze May 2019
I often hate my brain because
it seems like it’s favourite
hobbie it’s to turn everything
into a negative thought.
Calling everything pathetic
and making me feel guilty
when it’s about someone else.
It’s something I wish to
change about myself but I
know it’s not possible.
I hope to be able to shift
these thoughts since it’s not
healthy to live in a constant
state of pouring rain.
I’m sick and I need the
sunshine to take it away.
- rained-on.
Apr 2019 · 466
beth haze Apr 2019
In the quiet of the night,
it's when my mind can't seem
to keep quiet.
Running at a hundred miles with no
Head spinning and mouth
stomach turning with
non-stop reminders of the
what if's and never know.
All the things I shouldn't think
- dizzy.
Apr 2019 · 368
breaking free.
beth haze Apr 2019
I’m acting on feelings that I don’t have and
everyone around me it's trying to convince me
that I'm playing myself by not listening to
They're forcing them down my throat and
blaming me for not being good enough for
It's actually that I've realized I'm
living someone else's life and that
isn't right.
- breaking free.
Apr 2019 · 126
beth haze Apr 2019
Left on the side of the road
we couldn't do more than
walk underneath the bright lights
of the street in the autumn breeze
of late June while my friends
speed down in your best friend's car
laughing 'cause they thought this
could match us up.
What they didn't know is that the time
would never be right in between us.
- (un)matched.
Apr 2019 · 271
high and almighty.
beth haze Apr 2019
You convinced me it was us against the world
but once you finished building your kingdom
I wasn't worthy of you anymore.
Kicked to the curb and drowned in the bottom
of your swimming pool.
- high and almighty.
Jan 2019 · 142
beth haze Jan 2019
Shivers travel my body as
the temperature of the room starts to drop.
I've come to a realization that I'm scared to voice.
Got company over, one that I didn't invite.
A guest that can't stop babbling in the morning,
afternoon or the middle of the night.
I'm afraid it's the only one that has been coming around lately,
can't remember when I gave them a key.
Part of me doesn't want to change the lock, so
I don't end up all alone so I set up the table and shake hands
with the darkest of thoughts.
Let it haunt me at night
and freak me out on my way to work.
Curse my loved ones out and convince me
to leave everything behind,
'Cause I'm not worthy of their love.
When will I realize that bad company
it's not better than no one at all?
- occupier.
Nov 2018 · 161
beth haze Nov 2018
She felt too many things, so many
she couldn't manage to process it all
so her brain was often flooded with
overwhelming thoughts of how everything
could go wrong until she couldn't manage
to think anything at all.
- saturated.
Oct 2018 · 2.4k
hand holding.
beth haze Oct 2018
We took quiet steps down a lonely street
I had never stepped foot in before.
The air felt tense since it was
more than clear that you didn't feel
like talking, not anymore.
You stopped suddenly and backed me
against a wall.
We made out slowly whilst I felt
an old lady watching us from her
front steps, maybe I was just imagining her
since it was time for me to go,
I had to meet up with my friends.
Two steps forward and you stopped again
looking at me with a shy smile and
intertwined our hands.
My palms were sweaty and my rings
poked at your skin but you insisted that
you didn't care.
It was also the last time
we held hands.
- hand holding.
Inspired by a prompt from Madisen Kuhn's Instagram stories. "Write a poem about the first time you held someone's hand".
Oct 2018 · 268
panic attack.
beth haze Oct 2018
Heavy breaths bounce in the corners of my room
while tears stream down my face as I wonder
what's the reason this time around.
In the back of my mind, I know for sure
why it's 1am and I can't sleep again.
It's scary to say it out loud.
I pull up my phone to distract my brain
since it seems like it can't keep quiet but
all the images remind me that I
don't have anyone to call to ask them
to help me out.
Even my dog leaves quietly towards
my parents' bedroom even though they
haven't got home yet.
I don't start to calm down until
these words make their way
into the notes on my phone.
I can breathe again.
- panic attack.
Oct 2018 · 161
face like a universe.
beth haze Oct 2018
You didn’t like
the mole on your chin.
You used to say it was
too prominent for
your face and how you disliked
that it contrasted with
your freckled cheeks.
But I thought that
your cheeks were
like a galaxy and
your chin had
the moon.
It’s the first thing I
noticed when
I realized
I liked you.
- face like a universe.
page 77 of 'moondust'. (out soon!)
Oct 2018 · 1.5k
beth haze Oct 2018
Your mouth spills
nothing more than
empty promises.
Said you'll be here tonight
but don't get in 'till
four in the morning.
Always busy but never for
yourself, could you stop
lying straight to my face?
Tired of the excuses people
make on your name, can't even
defend yourself or it's just
that you don't care?
Looking really foolish with
the indifference that you're so
sure I deserve after you left me
waiting to see if this could change.
It didn't.
- selfish.
Oct 2018 · 572
emotionally drained.
beth haze Oct 2018
Please set me free anxiety,
I'm sick and tired of the
sleepless nights that without a
reason you think I deserve.
Please set me free anxiety,
I don't want to keep on
overthinking every thought again
and again.
Please set me free anxiety,
I don't think I have any more
tears left to cry over simple things.
Please set me free anxiety,
I don't want to give you the
power to make me stop and wonder if I
deserve the things I've been wanting
for so long.
Please set me free anxiety,
It's time for me to learn
how to breathe again without caring
what you have to say.
The pity party is over,
go home.
- emotionally drained.
Write a poem using a line from a song. (re:ad poetry prompt)
pity party by lovelytheband
Jul 2018 · 155
beth haze Jul 2018
My auburn lips
stained your cheek
as the leaves fell
the afternoon of our
second date.
You held me close on
winter nights as we
watched stand up.
You stopped picking
flowers from your
backyard as spring
passed us by just to
leave me like a hot
mess under the
summer sunlight.
seasons change and people do too // page 61 of moondust. (out soon)

— The End —