I gaze at you, belonging
Your eyes become my song of hope
I see within myself all that can be
And I dream bigger dreams than ever
I only hope you transpose this feeling
I wish to compose together someday

She was the wind, and he the sea

Her soft kisses commanding his attention; his depth and breadth  embracing her every touch

Apart, two powerful yet gentle beings, existing in tandem

Together, a force to be reckoned with

That is the only love I care to be: unconditional, natural, unrelenting, eternal

I've embraced the touch of hope before
begotten by the echos of yesteryear
where met the feeling of rejoice and love
ended unto abhorrent discourse

unto the mirror reflecting internal strife
sounds of fate resonated within
misguided by the allure of necessity
this soul walked into its own shadow
eyes shining brighter still than the morning dawn
blinded by the sheer audacity
still i may not lose sight of where to place my next step

i feel like i am a lost sonnet, born amongst a world designed to only listen to its own prose

I've spent a life creating fortune for those who've either never seen nor deserved it

Decimated by wanton want for more, or decaying senses wrought with desolation and desire to simply be known, I've caused strife within myself for the sake of others being fulfilled

I've spent so much time creating, ready to give myself to a world that's only seemed to cause destruction to my own soul, and take from me the things I needed most, even if merely conceived through empty wishing

I crave to bestow this strength and wisdom to one who would call my heart home; to be equal and stand as one, through synergy and servitude toward every sense of well being, respect, and care

I do not ask for more, I request nothing but trust and honesty; my affection, admiration, and loyalty lies upon the eyes that see me true

I do not expect love, nor frivolous diligence, I simply wish to no longer misplace my purpose, my admiration, or my faith unto anyone that would never see me, or never care to desire such staunch resolve within their heart as well

what drifts between the mired lines of fate and dreams sets free the sorrowed wakening of the harrowed heart.

in cold rapture, time stands still with every word exposed and seen through touching, gazing eyes

each moment gone before begets the forward, eternal march unto dawn

the good bestows lawful effortless bounty of what was always meant to be

two hearts beckon upon each other in torment and rapture, anxiously seething one another

patience values the faithful wrought with time and humbleness

Urges to see, colors to feel, sounds to taste, feelings to hear.. you mesmerize me like the reflection of the sky on the oceans surface: endless in nature, yet always so natural and real

Silent morrow seethes with reverie
Disdain knows conscious plight
Such sweet tones, bereft of fate
A calling to behold the Black Rose

Awoken, seeing truth and trust
Beseeched by wistful grandeur
The spark which lights the fire, lit
Blanketed upon darkened doubt
Unrivaled in parity
Unknown paths collide in curiosity

Each day atoned by dauntless breath
Exhaled, in part, in effortless fashion
Connected by embraced truths
Such beatific composure sought
In empty eyes, the void refilled
Intrigue, compassion, the rose blooms

Sightless endeavor retains composure
Meandering thought
Heartstrings grasping at lovely ghosts
Amid a flightless trek of intrigue
Reprieve, connections awaiting home

To seek the embrace of their shadows
Faith breeds time to bear her visage
Both lovely petals, and poised thorns
Chance, beckoning to see it all through
My Black Rose echoes fate, untold
In whispers of silent fairytales withheld..

injustice sings irreverent hymns of daunting cause, living life without reprieve in second cadence to bereavement

it's where the shadow meets the light where boundaries aren't kept safe, deceiving even the most woefully ignorant

the sun sets with much disdain for the morrow; the wind, stale with defeat, whispers echoing clandestine guilt of things never meant to be.

the heart burrows deep unto solemn internal recourse, bound by flame and disgust, pleading to be set free and seen - to no avail

where does the mind go when the heart can't see? where do all the gentle words flee when there is no feeling left of hope or love?

to beseech is to abstain - they never listen. begotten by the ignorant, time seems lost in itself. where there was doubt, so came the demise of hope.

seek anew, rise above the pain. listen, speak, learn. the pale, sultry face of redemption is close. my savior and kindness. sweet humble voice of reason: save me from this doubt. your eyes speak to me and your mind drives the curiosity within wild with passionate conjecture.

you may be closer than you think

I am the conduit
When feelings hit, they strike deep
Like lightning, unfathomable strength More fleeting than the jaded moments
It comes to fade like shallow breaths
But the scars remain
Reminding me of a forever, lost

Misspelled shadows
A creeping psalm of hope
I am the line crossed
I am the light lost
I am the entity that can't be found
Scorned by solemn apathy
I become the withered and unbound

Ransom unjust fate
Just to feel okay by yourself
You are the silence I seek
Courageous and unfettered by longing
My love seethes in empty corridors
Wandering past each frame of mind
Doorways leading to crippled lines

Threads unjust, no beginning or end
This woven featurette is yours to weep
Watch me dance hollowly on screen
Stepping over each piece of glass
Like the ghostly waltz of yesteryear
Find me there, underneath the crown of hate

I am the conduit
I am the fateless misery you strive to hate
Strike me down, fell my cause
Bring me to my knees
Misery seems to be my favorite mistake
The taste of your lips a listless waste

Amiss: the times forgotten; bestowed, a dark longing for power. Dried, empty and desolate. The past, a prelude of what is to come.

Desolation is misery's friend. But, the sun rises once more, as always. Complete, soft, warm; dependable, trusting, forgiving.

The light shines bright upon the horizon; and the subtle ache of needing more mires the necessity to beget what is wrought with strife and pale ignorance.

The red rose strives on, besieging my mind with agonizing desire to seed dissonance. Such kindness resonates within me. And the humble tone of honesty cascades a purer meaning.

She eludes me.

Paths cross but once in our lifetime. The choice is there, but the strength is not. The consequences are dire, rich with hate and loss and fear. The outcome? Always unknown.

The rewards? Eternal.

As sure as I breathe, I desire you; like the rain desires to fall, like the light desires to shine; I fell for you, and my heart stays warm with days brightened by thoughts of us

i assault my memories with lazy typewriter days
and these crazy moments i forget to sing
remind me of  your voice
because you say it sweeter anyways

and the meaning changes from red to green
never letting up and never saying stop
so we go and keep on going
until the horizon ends

and all we see is yesterday fade
while the summer creeps up to wake us up tomorrow
together - sometimes i like to think forever

and we'll get there soon enough
we'll get there when we say enough, our hearts explode with potential
where regret is simply like the doubt two lovers make when keeping promises
yeah


beauty stops breaking every bone
when the caller is you
and our lips align when we share the same secrets
over that talk box
make believe becomes reality
when i know its you who dialed first


and with a flick of a string or three
we can turn "I" into "We"
or at least "I am" into "we are"
wearing down thin these paper walls we hide behind

its just that easy if you want it to be
i know I do

Sometimes I see it in spaces crept in between where the light finds a place to crest through crevasses

No matter how bright these rays clasp my face and blind me to tomorrow, there's still a darkness to them; like embers of ashes old still smoldering, ready to set the whole world on fire

Oh what it would be to smother myself in that cold clasp, suffocating on all what is, remembering what was, forgetting where I am and just letting go

This fever will attach itself strongly again if I forget to breathe; this smoke completely fills my lungs and reminds me of your scent, but I can't see you there when the blinds come open, just the emptiness of another day come and gone

And I'd keep doing it forever, waking up and hoping for tomorrow to be better still, to see the sun break through it all with the subtle taint of what was and is, just to know.. just to know..

Tomorrow is all we truly have anymore, even if we never truly have each other

Winter burns bright with the fumes of summer, but it’s still just as cold as the hearts that left me in the solemn, snow-filled days of yesteryear.

The solitude of when two hands meet garners thoughts of warmth and want for needs unspoken

I miss the days when simplicity was as common as the delicate exhale shared when two lips release from one a other

To gaze through sultry windows of the soul, soft yet weary with fervent witness, beckons notions of wanderlust to a place that shines brighter than any I've ever seen

I watch, bound by valor for not seeking more through presumptuous ineptitude; bewildered by the plight you've been mired by, I wince at the thought of harm coming to you

Your trust exudes a powerful purpose; wrought from the ashes of all that have claimed to impose before, I succumb to the surfeit of such a staggering meaning in that gift

I hold myself in bated breath for the day you would ever need my heart for your own, but stay guided to be here in spirit, ever more

Although my basic wishes be forlorn, in somber muse I find great purpose to be a part of this grand fate bestowed upon me

You are all I've ever sought; and through disbelief, I am remiss of all that's mired me before

If only, one day, perhaps we could be more..

I don't possess the luxury to feel alive

This broken soul is daunted by mired ties

The shell that holds these withered bones and stinted cries

Stains rotten with guilt underneath
this tainted flesh; will ultimately be my surmise

Seasons pass, tempered by insalubrious fervor; treasonous design remiss of fate

An echo of prior songs resonate somber atrophy; mourn the passing of  constant defeat, stained by triumphant dissonance and disdain

Fear strides along the broken path, left alone and solemn and crass: Through sour feats of vindication, tones of plight become dismissed

Surfeit, the sound of temptation rides upon the crest of dawn, blinding darkness like calming waves caressing infinite stretches of sand: soft and warm; kind and welcoming, embracing in its gentle touch

Sentience hides behind a creeping fog, whispering secrets of life eternal, bearing gifts wrought through sensuous candor

Two threads lost, now found; slowly bonding, uniting purpose, rhythm, rhyme, and reason; born from the same cloth, garnering habit, singing in harmony what echoes from within

Beautiful, intelligent, staunch with profundity; stark, handsome, wholesome, and good

The call of a true home may finally beckon..

Sleepless nights, alone in my head.. but what’s new? It’s 2am, once again, and I’ve gathered by now that nobody seems to have ever truly cared. My story is my favorite book to read, but I have no eyes.. and no ears to listen to my pleas. But, what’s new?

I’m used to it all by now. I just can’t seem to ever get used to being unappreciated, used or ignored. I just want to find my shade in the storm, a place to - once and for all - call ‘home’.

Please, when I get there, just don’t leave me at the door..

We did it again
Dancing in halls we never knew
You woke up fate just to let it fade
Never pull on heart strings
Unless you're willing to take the reins

these ***** eyes, they testify
all the things that bring us further down
and into wasted days of pseudo-hate
and promises of bitterness which dissipates
after summers' days dwindle
out of tune with our heart strings

it leaves us here in surmise of
all the things we sing along together
low and behold
we're still singing the same song either way

like a candle; fire lit at both ends
we meet across a river without a bridge
and hold on tight as we take the plunge
somewhere getting lost beneath the river bed
between these flowing streams of time we live within

and oh
all i want to do is find you there
swimming peacefully waiting to exhale
all the bad things you sigh in bated breath
and still my greatest dream is to breathe you in

fate befalls coarse dissonance
heartfelt plight, undoing thralls
stalwart cries beckon home
staunch hope redoubtably prevails
pithy, barren, crass, vile
Morose echoes, tinged denial
bemoaning daunting harrow

withered bridges surmise winter's defeat
water flowing effortlessly beneath
ineptitude solemnly secedes
decaying frost bereaves Sun's kiss

I am guilty of treason against my own heart in ever losing faith that I would come know another soul of such passionate discourse; rapt through compassionate dissonance; endearing and kind, and warm

I've never experienced beauty of this nature, and if ever I could not find a single voice beyond what resonates with me here, I would still invariably be forever content

now its time you lay me out to dry
for i have found a way to make a mess of things
without regard to this empty grassy field i see
and no flowers bloom here
just a plush sea of green

so i jumped into the river instead
just to see how long i could hold my breath
but without you to exhale truths i wish to capture
i couldn't hold it long enough to save my life
so i floated on to a shore i could walk upon
solid ground greeting my path

forgive me if i rhyme too much
this music is infectious in my mind
it's got my heart sick without feeling
without passion
and then i see you in there too
and i do believe the cure to sing them is you

and i'm sweating bullets over here for some ammunition
just to see if i can hit my target on the spot
so lets see how close i can make it sweetheart
lets see how close this wish of mine is from the truth

Seldom do we find our own reality gnawing at the right door
Senseless guise and fruitless time arrived from feeding on the wrong domain

Indecision obfuscating want and need
Imploring absolution as an only means to achieve hope
Begetting desolation is the end result in spite of it all

We are found, when
We let go of what was tearing down our walls
We are done, when
The lie becomes the forged duality
We are lost, when
Hopeless dreams derive from tainted purity

Love is not a way to seek reprise
The heart demands a sacrifice of old
Each new dawn beseeches zero compromise

We either live long enough to see our desires through and die alone without surmise

Or we strive to push through all the insalubrious conjecture long enough to see what's true

Sanctity, depravity, hand in hand echoing
Peace does not become the solution until chaos has its way without vision
We see ourselves wrought through trial of flame
Burnt by years of decimating neglect, impoverished longing for what soul would embrace our own

I see you, and I see the sun; blinding impressions waking every eye closed by incessant deception

I seek you, and I feel the earth beneath my soles; through embodied disposition, resonating "you have begun the right direction"

I feel you, and I feel a place to call my own

I want you, and I find peace of mind to  extricate the withering denial of prior disappointment

I need you, we feel the stark contrast of what was and begin anew

I want to spend my time and effort creating stronger paths that lead us to where we both desire to go

And the rest is misery
Fiery contemplation
Delerious disposition
An exposé of all we aren't
Indecision left at the crest of dawn
Seething repitiore in words and meaning, disdained and left to fester away from all that matters of the heart

We are strong, and the resolute sinks in

We are proud, and misery's addiction fades into oblivion

We are meant to be, savory, undeniable, absolute, fateless but reliably designed hand in hand

You are the string cut from the edge of the woven cloth, I am the seam with withered edges; our hearts the hands that begin to write anew the chapter which binds our ties; our shared strength lies in the knots we bound

Suffer never again
Cry never alone
Waste no time nor effort
Be as one to behold

We are living apart, together
Someday soon, we live as one
We forge sanctuary beyond all weather
In due time, our strife be done

You are my revelry
You are my empathy
You are my fateless waltz into the unknown
You are my dawn, my night, my favored tone
You are my heart
You are my warmth
You are the glow with which I have to guide my path
You are my undeniable way home

But do you feel a semblance?...

The lips of fate taste sweeter than the lips of hope

Writhen with doubt, stricken with silent fear

Silent pleas are meaningless in the face of overwhelming odds. The strength to move forward is not always as easy for some than others, yet the others who can afford such staunch accord seem to never comprehend how difficult a task it is to simply rise from bed.

The ones who see most seem to always be most blind to the qualms of those with such resonant concern for the pithy; even the innate ire of one begets the inherent ire of all.

Slowly, thoughts become tangible, changing from empty shadows to a festering aura. It leeches life from all things good and meaningful, and there begins the downfall.

Things which once were the epitome of joy - sometimes subtly, sometimes abruptly - become festering reminders of what once was; they sit rotting at the pit of a dissonant cacophony of sore misdirection, doubt, and unwavering fear, a solemn reminder of yesterday and everything which can not be had anymore.

Anger suffices where patience once stood watch over all interactions. In that brings suffering from doubt for all things said and done, all things come and gone, and all things not yet relevant, real, or existent. The agony builds in each passing moment, staggering and belittling; suffocation enduring, mired belligerent tones of sheer desolation sets the stage for a Grey, toneless perception.

Once stagnant, all fades away. Sounds echo broadly, profusely; words fall short in every regard; feeling stops existing, plight becomes numb: an emptiness no other void can retain or convey becomes standard, and the moment fades away becoming not one, but many. Becoming persistent, real, and the only thing true.

Emptiness suffices where a whole sum of love, experience, and joy once was. All things considered, nothing brings memory of such passions. Nothing breaks the void away. Nothing changes, nothing progresses.

Emptiness consumes everything, even rationality of resolution. All one can think of is escaping this nonsensical devouring void. But it's not possible, because nothing good exists here.

And the cycle repeats

Stalwart shadows
Empty light eschewing darkness

This fog engulfs me
Doubt residing beneath my breath
No one fears, here
Nobody listens to silent screams

Contempt sets in
Emptiness guides dithered legacy
A shallow grave consumes the plight

I gaze at you, and my eyes find home

stoic, I remain

my heart starves

I dreamt of you the other day

Such sweet resonance with your presence, it echoed a calm I only experience with you; awoken, and sound

You caught me in a time of plight, pulled me forth in valiant fervor

Your smile shined upon me, and I felt safe; feverishly exposing your excitement to explore the horizon

We drove into the fog; your warmth was tangible, even in my subconscious dwelling

Next to you, I simply felt good; a place I can not substitute

I felt calm, as if all qualms and scores of darkness simply melted away; you seemed happier than I had ever seen when I had not declined your beckoning

I felt home, and you seemed content to feel the same with me by you

If ever that could be true when I awake for this, life would forever be a dream

I dreamt for peace, and you were there; simplicity, two threads cut from the same cloth, bound together

I hope to bring you the same light

Withering kiss belittles fate
Sultry, affluent, perfection lost
a damnation of intent
skewed by empty plight

endearing atrophy weaves no ties
cut from the crowd
whispers seeking place in time
Wreaking havoc upon sullen breadth

dreams disguise desire
the facade awakens every day
the ghostly touch of weightless hands
deliverance, mourning truth
each dream ached by sunder of hope
remiss of such light, I become mired

such calmness and good comes of the night
by day, there resides no such kindness by my side
I await, forever..

If I were, and if wanted to save face
When I go, where do I find a strength to contemplate
All the unknowns that will follow

If I did, and if I wanted to just be safe
Would you keep me in a place you want me in? Or would I irrevocably become the disgrace

so much to say, no time to say it
no voice to carry my words with poise and concern
no ears to feel the truth
the heart wilts, sleep becomes my only friend

i find myself trying so hard to just speak
but i do not resonate with anyone
and nobody seeks ghosts they can not see
abandoned, misplaced, undesired, misconstrued

left alone
solemn, broken, tired
indecision mires hope or plight
destitution commands fear in any endeavor

darkness creeps into places unseen
resolve becomes scarred fate
unconditioned, irrevocable, contemplation
death seeks the desolate man who can not fight anymore

help

Defeat is my surmise; what wrought from even the purest intention wilts away by wanton ignorance

Surfeit, the ire of holds past begin to clench my heart with stoic nostalgia

How wise it were to have embraced such depth of heartbreak in all my effort's past; to see the light we must step through darkness periodically.. I simply wish I hadn't need to have done that with you; you were so bright, which lit my path clearly for the first time ever

"two threads cut from the same cloth"

...

Among a world of deception and cowardice, intelligence and honesty go hand in hand as well as a devil's tongue beseeches Godly candor

In somber atrophy
Stale breath beckons truth

The heart dwindled
I choke on your words

I Love You, my darling..
Before I sleep, I'll trade whispers with the sky
and tell the moon all about you..

these thoughts fester, blistering; glorified toxicity, virulent, mundane and absolutely consuming in every single way.

I love to hate it and I hate to love it, but I do; and sometimes I wonder what it’s like to be selfish, as they say I can. “It’s okay to be a little bit” but what about more? when in the past I was never, don’t I deserve to cash in on the blunder that was my life up until this point? it was all a lesson waiting to be frustratingly spat back in my face, concluding to the one single plane of time and space I was spent to end up here where I am today.

it was never a dream, it was always me that was never needed or wanted; it was always selfishness that guided it all and I was just the punchline to 27 years of contempt. and I still wonder, I think because I know: I need to go, I need to go

and I wonder, who would need me more than ever after the fact? Who would stay behind and grieve for me, but I curiously berate my consciousness with thoughts, more importantly, of “who would go?”

nobody but me. nobody still, no one. I would go alone.

But here, I am the same. At least on the other side, I don’t have to be the product of pain and the reason of disdain. swallowed whole again.. swallowed whole

I’ll leave this earth like a passionate torrent of dust and emptiness and corroded flesh mired by the taint of a Friday night’s ugliest forgotten texts - “hey, where are you?” said the blinding screen, faceless as ever and echoing screams of torment: why must I remain unseen?

no amount of effort, no amount of partiality begets the conundrum more than simply trying to believe in anything else. reality disguises itself as a promise, but the words never stuck. you lied to me, they all do - it’s fine, I’m used to it. my words never meant anything, too - until now

i will go

"A gentle sigh relieves itself from my lungs; the air escaping my lips echoing thoughts of solemn wishes.

I gaze your hand and think how soft they are in mine; your eyes, I see within and feel every word you share; such lovely shades of green caressed by hues of blue and orange. Every detail of you and your person embraced with purest intent, I revel in all that is bestowed; and behold your concerns with the same conviction. Your pains have become my own.

The stories you share tear my heart asunder; such harrowing misfortune bestowed upon you, I hear it in your tone and sense it from the tears you shed: you deserve so much more.

How such simple nuance can go unheard, unseen, or unspoken; such stifled cause and senseless negligence, how it could ever befall someone of such grace and sheer beauty, I will never comprehend.

You prove to me there is light on the other side; I see you before me no less a person, sharing our sight as one where our eyes meet as equals.

I crave to prove to you your innate value; to be a resolve you can depend upon in any time of need; to give you all you've sought but never felt or heard or seen, even the simplest of notions which should naturally be bestowed upon someone from another who truly cares.

I see you for who you are. I hear what you say. My heart breaks at all the wrongs brought unto you. You honor me with your affection.. I just hope for the privilege, someday, to prove and to show you what it would be like to be embraced by my heart.

Sometimes, romance truly is merely hopeless. Maybe just saying this aloud, scribing my feelings in secret are all ill ever have. Maybe not.

If we never have an opportunity to be more, you've set a stark precedent for all I've ever meant to find..

I think of you often, and always hope you fare well. Your strength and guiding sense of determination inspire me to be a better person. I could only hope that person, someday, may be something you'll want in your life, or even need."

I dream of simple things

I thought of you today,
It was grander than anything else

I am tormented.

tell me my words bear any weight

the willing engage each other in such withering decay of life
like rending flesh and bone, it becomes tangible
grit teeth gnashing together all which was forced to choke down

i swallow pride to face the day,
the taste of iron lines my gums

tell me what im worth before i find a means to settle
tell me how to retreat
tell me

I'll sleep the days away knowing you're not here

Depression drowns me in guilt and shame..

i struggle throughout the day to find any semblance of hope or kindness that can show moving forward at all is worth the time, effort, pain, and grind to simply exist

i tremble at the most nuanced implications; i become cold, and my skin aches with sheer terror over being alive, striving to comprehend between each sunrise and sunset why the desolation hasnt taken me as of yet

and then the plot comes, and i break

each and every time i begin to feel the tangible sensation of worthlessness and hopelessness i cry; alone, harboring diligent conviction for everything i wish i could do

the actualization of mortality is an ever-present ghost haunting me where i rest, where i sleep, where i walk among the growing crowd of grey, listless faces. it overcomes my efforts, it drowns me in subjugating thoughts, flights of fantasy for the dream to give something meaningful; to drive change in a place, for things and people, that could bring goodness or kindness to them too; to deliver unto my own being a sense of purpose and meaningfulness that surpasses the mass mediocrity which suffocates this world and transcends my own hope to do good unto the world at large into something more powerful than words, or wishes, or dreams

i become overwhelmed with the cost of being alive, the choking sensation of doubt which derives through strife and worry for all things monetary which beguile any path towards meaningful philanthropy

in this world, only the rich can afford to live or be free of worry, and i wasn't designed for this world to begin with; i wasn't meant to be, literally, and yet i wasn't given chance or love to find the means for myself before the miring angst and pain which stifled me had made me succumb to it, as such

every choice begets a driving fear which cripples any means to move forward

i have been behind in everything, from everyone, for so long that it becomes painful to even think to wake another day, and the sombre grasp of reality that what given chance or hope or intent i could ever have for others, let alone this world, come crumbling down in an avalanche of susceptibility, vulnerability, and agonizing defeat - i wish nothing more, in those moments, to end my life

nothing and nobody would miss me so that it would hinder their efforts - there could be zero affect in the long run, something which i find peace in knowing: at least it wouldn't be of any loss to the grand scheme, or the short run

i would leave, as i was meant to never be to begin with

I'm beginning to lose myself. You caught me at the edge of something, I found you mourning your soul out.

All I want is to make it out on the other side, where or whenever that is.  

I'm beginning to lose faith in the rest of everything, and I've been sinking incredibly fast.

You saw me near my deepest point. We were moments away from never knowing anything at all..

I became displaced by the very things I've always needed most: people. I became disillusioned from it, literally. I started to become numb again.

I simply want to find home, I've never had that.

I sent songs that I had hoped could speak for me. I believe music is my last chance to convey anything meaningful, anymore. But, more than ever, even the wonders and visions I used to get when listening; that feeling, it's gone too, and I don't know how much longer it would continue to be anything pleasant, or meaningful to me, or even felt at all.

I'm struggling, caught between the lines of the sky above and the water below as the waves keep grasping at my neck and twisting my body down to the bones like I was designed to slip into that darkness underneath.

Im fighting myself to not become entirely numb and mute. I'm fighting to simply not give up on everything, and everyone, including myself.

I'm fighting to survive, when before it was an idle battle. This is the end of that strife, the last battlefield I'll step on, because I'm tired; my soul is so exhausted and dense with the misery that others wrought from themselves and put into me; I'm sad, ridden with holes as empty as the space between my silhouette and my shadow

I'm staggering here on this empty field looking for any semblance of a visage or sign of who and what is entirely, and only; and utterly on my side; a clear design of something that not only would want to give me hope, but could instill it; because without just that, I know this war is already lost..

It quivers the edge of my lips; my lungs scream, but the words exhale silently and unknown through bated breath; they dance within my mind and slowly creep into the crevasses where you fell, too, within my heart in places I left for you to live in; sharing truths you can't hear yet, making stories we have not lived yet: those words permeate my existence, except within my eyes, as they can only see what truly is.

But that's my secret, my dear..

It's that clear vision that lets me know, those words can only be true.

Your plight becomes your calling once more as you retreat to daunting servitude

unbeknownst unto your own soul, the mired fog which blinded your path prior reaches out to you

Claws sinking, you succumb to lies and deceit as if it were your only surmise

I know better, but I am not the one to call your place in line amongst the unwavering compassion I own for you

You make your choice based on a haze of comprehension, no eyes could see nor heart could feel; indecision stifled your beckoning before, and yet you return to the same darkness even you called foul for yourself

You knew where harm reached out to you; intention set, you saw the crimes which took your heart for granted; you spoke to me, with me, of all the things you sought but were met with insalubrious dissonance.. And yet..

My heart sinks, my chest burns, my mind wreaks havoc on itself just to know: why?

I am for you, unconditionally; you betray not my heart, but merely your own

Until the day comes you see true unto yourself, I settle now to be in your shadow..