Enjoy the small things
Because you will yearn for them
When you feel empty

Drowning in this bright white light
I’m alone on this stage like every night
Seeing all my fans screaming my name when I walk into the light
All I see every night is a sea of flashing lights
All they see is me hitting these low and high notes with ease
I make it look so easy while I dance to this beat
But when its late at night all I want to do escape
Escape this never-ending dream where I can’t find peace
Peace that would make me feel complete
Because my fans don’t really know me
All they see is me achieving a dream which is turning bittersweet
Bittersweet because they will never see the real me
So here I stand on this street corner all alone
Thinking about running away from this fame
That I once thought would make me feel complete

Line in the sand
This is my side
Stay on yours
Don't get me wrong
I flirt with the idea of crossing this line
Every time I get the courage to cross this line
I run and hide
For I fear whats on the other side
Love
Happiness
Depression
Sadness
I will stay on my side although I am dying inside

Inescapable
Dreams Quieting
Hollow Ideas Consuming

I feel like I can look at a
Complete stranger and read
If they are truly living or just existing

Then I wonder if I am just
Looking in a mirror because
I honestly can't answer that about myself

I have the keys
The keys to every door
All of them have labels
Love
Life
Friendships
Relationships
Money
***
Success
I'm convinced someone keeps changing the locks

Standing outside on a warm summer night
As the ominous night sky peers through my defenseless soul
Reading my desolated state like a book
Continuously turning the pages trying to find my purpose in life
Reading all the lies I tell myself about how I am doing great or not
Finding a sense of comfort from the dimly moonlight sky
Searching for one star that catches my eye
As I get lost in the night sky

A young girl is trapped
Trapped in a snowy dense forest
Before she started she accepted death
Each step she takes is one step further from home
But closer to something she can call home
She's already mourning out of sheer helplessness

Now shes getting cuts and bruises from the abusive forest floor
Then she finds a break in the dense forest
She can see the sun and she can finally breathe
No sooner than later the sun vanishes
She keeps moving forward looking for that next bright light

Every stop gives her comfort but scares her because she realizes she can't afford to go back to where she once was
No matter how far she travels she will always be mourning something she lost

A young girl is trapped
Trapped in a snowy dense forest
Before she started she accepted death
Each step she takes is one step further from home
But closer to something she can call home
She's already mourning out of sheer helplessness

Now shes getting cuts and bruises from the abusive forest floor
Then she finds a break in the dense forest
She can see the sun and she can finally breathe
No sooner than later the sun vanishes
She keeps moving forward looking for that next bright light

Every stop gives her comfort but scares her because she realizes she can't afford to go back to where she once was
No matter how far she travels she will always be mourning something she lost

Saw you in my dream
We were laughing in pure glee
Woke up so happy

There but hard to find
Given away too often
Returned to sender

I got the message
Although it was never sent
Silence is so loud

I hate watching your life through this screen
I want to talk to you in person
I want to text you asking how everything is going
I want to call you and talk about life all night
I miss you
I just hate how much I miss you

I hope you are okay
Because I am miserable
Maybe we are the greatest thing to never happen
But will never know

I have it
I have what I've always wanted
I've starved for it
I've cried about it
I've pushed people away for it
I've convinced myself I will be better with it
I've realized it doesn't mean ****
Now I am more broke than I have ever been

It's not something you can teach
It's a hunger of wanting more
It burns deep in your soul
Sometimes I want to yell at the top
Of my lungs to release this fire
But here I am hungry but always starving
Never content with what I have

You're so beautiful and you don't even know it that's my favorite part
Your laugh is so cute and innocent that's my favorite part
Your smile makes me melt and that's my favorite part
Your wall you put up falls apart when I'm around that's my favorite part
Your will to be honest about your insecurities that's favorite part
Your will to talk about anything that bothers you that's my favorite part
Your eyes make me lose track of time that's my favorite part
You feeling like you can be yourself around me is my favorite part

I will never forget my first ****
She was young and filled with joy
She wore her heart on her sleeve
It was short and sweet
I looked into her big marble like eyes
Then I told her I no longer loved her
Her eyes turned cold
Everything about us flashed before her eyes
Her body became weak and fragile
One blink followed by a grimace of pain consumed her smile
Her faced sunk into her hands
She whispered to herself I knew I wasn't good enough
I sat there witnessing a beautiful woman self destruct
Looked like a tornado was consuming her thoughts
All I wanted was to hear her talk
There we sat in silence while she balled her eyes out
I stared blankly into her soul
Realizing the damage I've done
While a sense of relief washed over me
Then she looked up at me and was saying anything that came to her mind
Why.... I love you.... please give me a chance
I sat there feeling loved but I knew I couldn't help her anymore
That's when I said I'm sorry and walked away

I had a perfect picture of it in my mind
Then i went to work
One stroke here and then another there
Some days I painted to put my mind at ease
There were days I would paint with anger
Others I would paint so carefree
Before I knew it I was finished

I hated it
It wasn't what I pictured in my head
So I kept adding onto it
Until it became a beautiful collage
It wasn't what I pictured in my head
But now it's perfect

Don't worry baby
I'll give you the world and more
You're my everything

Started off with a bad joke
Then I kept playing my cards
She was eating it up
Loving every word I said
Laughing at everything I said

I was talking to her just to pass the time
She has a though exterior
She has a heart of gold
A body composed by an angel

The way she opened up was so exhilarating
Then she started hitting on me
Telling me about how bold and brave I was
She loved how open I was with her
Although we were at work

Then she added me on Facebook
I would've never guessed
She Is a model with a massive following
Everyone wants her attention
Creepy guys have wrote her love poems
Just trying to grab her attention

I'm sorry grandma
I was just told about what you are going through
You are in so much pain
You are literally dying right now
Dying of cancer is what they told me
Apparently you don't have long to live
I wish I could take back all those years
All those years I took you for granted
All those years where I wish we could talk
Talk about how you met my mom's dad
He really sounded like a great man
My parents tell me he was just like me
He died just a year before I was brought into this world
Oh how I wish we could talk about your life
Talk about your struggles
Talk about your greatest accomplishments

I am so thankful for you taking care of me
Taking care of my family
Being there for every struggle and every tear
That I never saw or heard
I was just an infant then
I was barely holding onto dear life
But I didn't know you were the one holding me
Holding my family together in our time of need

Then I got older and so did my sister
I feel like we didn't have those deep talks
Because I was still an infant and a little naive
I always felt like my sister overshadowed me
She always had something going on to talk about
Just because she was a bit older than me
I am not asking for forgiveness
I just want you to understand I love you
I just don't know how to rebuild this bridge
Because you live so far away from me

I have none left in me
I have given it to everyone but me
Every poem I write has a little piece of me
Each poem has a few crumbs of the real me
These crumbs are easily overlooked
Many people I know say they love my writings
Very few can read between the lines I have wrote
Many fail to see what each of my lines truly mean
They don't see my heart racing to catch its beat
All they see is my mind trying to control my heart beat
A lot of my poems come off as shallow but not deep
I guess they truly don't know the real me
A smiling boy is all they see when they look at me
But deep down they don't see the pain that paralyzes me

The fire is finally back in your eyes
You really did set yourself on fire
Don't hate yourself for what you did to yourself
It was worth it because sometimes you got to burn yourself
In order to rebuild yourself

Tired and worn
Discolored mix of gray whites and blues
Distressed laces that once kept it together
Are Left in thin shambles laying so weakly through each disfigured loop

The stories they have carried me through
Stories of pure joy and happiness
Stories of pure depression and tears
Unfortunately their last story has been completed
For they have tired and can travel no further without falling apart

Playing in the the summertime air
Placed our minds at ease
While our imaginations made a scene
Swinging in the breezy
Smiling and laughing so gleefully
Oh the silly games we use to play
Hide and seek until we couldn't see
Scrapped knees and bee stings
Made me sing mom please help me

Sitting outside in the summertime air
Makes me my mind uneasy
While my imagination screams please
Let me see my computer screen
Anxious to see my apps dance so playfully
I hold back my tears so painfully
I can't see why my parents hate me
They don't buy me anything
No matter how much I scream help me

How did I get here?
I woke up in a chair on a concrete slab
That appeared to be surrounded by a field of grass as far as the eye can see
There were few trees in the distance
It was a cool summer morning with sun rays piercing through the light fog
Then I noticed women I didn't recognized sitting across from me
She had very short brown hair almost looked like she was wearing a bandanna of brown
Her hair was thin and wispy just like the features on her face
Her eyes were dark but she had loveliest smile
For some reason I was really comfortable sitting across from this stranger
We started talking and we had the greatest conversation we were just talking about life and shared a few laughs
We were both drinking some tea
I had a pink mug
She had an easter blue one
She talked with so much life in her voice although you could tell she was in so much pain but at peace with her current state it was honestly hard to watch
I don't remember how the conversation got to what she said next
She looked me dead in the eye with her tear filled eyes and said, "I don't think you realize how happy you make my daughter." I haven't seen her carry herself so lightly since she was my little girl.......

There we were staring into each others eyes
Mine were screaming be mine
While she stared straight through mine
Why oh why do we have to say goodbye
One last hug and one final goodbye
Now I got nothing left to do but cry

Today marks the end of an amazing chapter
For I am going to step away from writing
Not forever but for a little bit of time

I have written poems about love and lost
I have written some poems while in tears and in shear glee
Sometimes I wrote in pure anger and frustration
But I would be a fool to say it wasn't worth every word I typed
I have found people that supported me
I found a passion that filled my soul with hope instead of hopelessness

Before I started this journey I didn't know a thing about poetry
Yeah this poem really doesn't show what I have learned
I have learned how to write different forms of poetry such as free verse, limericks and haikus

Now its time to step away and breathe
For me I have wrote more than I can believe
Time to step back and reread what my poetry has made me
My poetry has led me on great adventures
It has taught me a lot about what truly makes me tick
For if it wasn't for my poetry I don't know where I would be mentally

one warm summer night
you and I were strangers
our minds danced the night away
while your soul ignited mine

I use to think three was a crowd
Slowly you came into our lives
Quickly you stole our time
When you are around
Hours turned into minutes
Every weekend wasn't long enough
How I long for those times

They tell me give up
Give up on something I want
I told them get lost

I thought you changed for the better
You were nice and sweet
Our days together were filled with laughter
I really did choose you over her
Since I just wanted someone to call a friend
For a while it felt like I was betraying one of my best friends
I gave you a chance
I hate how much you neglected my love
For I enjoyed our time together
Then you met a guy and he takes all of your time
We don't talk often but you texted me today
In a ferrous rage saying how could I betray her
I don't know what I did
She's telling me I spilled the beans
The thing is I never had the beans
She must of miscounted her beans and blamed me for some information that leaked

So you are just too childish for me
Apparently I can only have one friend and not two for you two have too much history
Now I pick her over you sorry but you are a nut job

I have found my purpose
I was put on this planet to lead
Yet I wasn't put on this planet to be seen
I can lead a horse to water but I cant make it drink

I will push people to be great
I will make people laugh when they are sad
I will give people hope when they don't believe

I just want to see people succeed
Succeed emotionally
Succeed with accomplishing goals
Succeed with being themselves
Succeed with finding what they need

One thing I won't do is give up on me
I will do everything I can to be there for someone
But once I lose myself
Then they no longer see what I see when I look at them
Which is such a sad and helpless feeling

I’ve completed hundreds of puzzles
Puzzles with a few pieces
Puzzles with many pieces
I’ve started putting together another puzzle
This puzzle started off like all the others
I started with the border and started working my way inwards
For the first time I became perplexed
I tried my hardest to find the correct piece to fil this blank space
I think I have tried every piece that the puzzle came with
I am almost convinced I am missing a piece
This puzzle has been an infuriating undertaking
I have spent countless hours trying put all the pieces together
Now some of the pieces are starting to become disfigured
Some of the pieces have become discolored
I have spelt my morning coffee on some of these pieces
The damage has been done but I am determined to finish it
For whenever I start a puzzle I always finish it
No matter the amount of time I have spent on it
This one however isn’t going to look like the picture on the box
I have given up on that pipe dream
Now I am creating a beautiful collage

I love my life
My life isn't perfect
It's riddled with flaws and doubts
Somedays I feel as strong as an ox
Others I feel paper thin

We live in a world of depression
I try my hardest to breakout of this oppression
Once I feel free I'm dragged back into depression

Even the richest man can be sad
While the poorest man can be the happiest
It's all about perspective

I love reading my old poems
It puts me back in my old shoes
Now its different
In hindsight the recent past
Has made me more of a man
Certainly I went through some growing pains
But it was worth it

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I just put in my two weeks
And so should you

Romantic Roses
I have given out plenty
My last one turned black

Why chase your ideal view of perfection
You can have a bronze tongue disguised in silver
A bond built on brokenness that is never a whole
All the answers to the questions you view as important
But never have the answers to the questions asked
Hopeful but desperate for a silver lining
Sad but happy with how I am contributing
Not feeling I am doing enough
Complacent.Lost..Happy?

Have sweet dreams is what they plea to me
For me I don't sleep
Diving head first into the tossing and turning relentless sea
Waves of emotions keep my head under
As I try my hardest to breathe
The Monstrous sea keeps pushing and pulling me apart
As I swim deeper to explore the darkest trenches embedded in me
As my mind continues to sing without missing a beat
Until the waves suffocate me to sleep

Dusty glistening light
Filling his pours with gold
Crushing his heavy heart
For hes a fool searching for gold

Its been two months since we were close
Some days are easy and others are dreadful
Some days I wake up wishing you were there
Others I tell myself that I can do better

But when my mom asks about you
All those past feelings consume me
Because you left an impression on her
Just like you left an impression on me

She has a big heart
She lives in a world of lust
Its torn her apart

Trapped in this vantablack room
There’s got to be a key somewhere
But Where?
Why do I want to leave this place????
The Isolation has been oh so nice....
I came here feeling strong, confident, powerful
Now I am nothing other than a pasty white corpse
A Corpse that has nothing to give because I have only taken
I desired lust and what I thought would lead to love

Karma got the best of me

I forgot to love myself
If I don’t relearn how to love myself then I will be trapped in this purgatory
Okay just one step before the other….
Good….
Another….
Ugh I just fell and cut my hand….
Well there goes that opportunity
I will just go back from where I came
Not like anyone every loved me the way I love them….
Wait????
Is that a voice?
“Woah hi what are you doing here????”
I was looking for some *****…..
Well I am sorry but we don’t have that here

But…….
It looks like you found the key to my heart…
Thank you so much…..
I cant imagine where I would be without you being here today
I couldve been lost forever if you didn’t show up today
“At the very least can I get your name?”
“I am Danielle”
One Year Later
“Danielle will you marry me?”
“YES!”

How has it been four years already
I cant believe so much time has past since I have seen you
We use to be best of friends
You were the first girl I ever fell in love with
Although we never kissed
You were crafted by the gods inside and out
We use to talk everyday and you would vent your problems to me
Which I never minded because I just wanted to hear your voice
I will never forget our late night adventures
When it was just you and I time seemed to fly
I would pick you up at two in the morning
We wouldn't get home until we could see the sky turning light
I will never forget our late night runs to the grocery store
Or our late night talks that seemed to last minutes when they were hours long
Whenever it was just you and I
We would never stop laughing
We were perfect for one another
Ya we didn't have a lot in common
But when we hanged out it didn't matter

Nowadays you always find a way to text me when I am feeling really low and or when I am feeling really good about myself
Its like you have a sixth sense
It kind of freaks me out but gives me a sense of comfort
Knowing you will be a friend of mine for life
No matter the time or distance between us
Whenever we text it seems like we talked yesterday when its actually been months
I love you and always will

Both people have to be committed to a relationship for it to work

When you feel weak I'll give you strength
When you talk I'll listen
When you miss me and I'll make you feel loved
When you show me love I'll show you passion
When you cry tears of sadness I'll be there to hold you and tell you how great you are
When you are angry at life I'll show you how grateful I am to have you
When you have a problem with me I will work to make it right
When you feel insecure I'll tell you I love all your flaws because you wouldn't be you without them
When you are having a bad day I'll do whatever it takes to make you laugh

All I can hope for is she will do the same for me

Sorry
For holding  yourself worth hostage for what you could provide
You yearned to protect  others from knowing your pain
Sacrificed relationships for the sake of sounding sane
Sacrificed your dignity and humanity for a few dollars
Yet I can still see the dollar in you  through all your pain
It's exhausting...

Sorry
For giving your a false sense of pride
For isolating you  when you felt the most pain
I just wanted to protect you
From drowning in all the  self-doubt and pain

Sorry
For trying to find whatever comfort a bottle could provide
It felt safer than being viewed as weak
I felt stronger when I had a few drinks
But in reality, I was just trying to disconnect from everything
It's not your fault it was what you were taught

Sorry
For all the bad decisions and relationships we damaged
Who knows if those relationships were real
Maybe they weren't since they aren't here
But were you really there or just existing I can't answer that
We will just call it even I guess
I can't change the past but I will always wonder what could've been

Sorry
For all the self-hate
You weren't shown what self-love looked like in the first place
You can't blame yourself
You were a blank canvas just seeking validation
You ran to find it but instead, you found anger and hate

Sorry
For letting others write your narrative for so long
In reality, it was already being written at the birth
Totted as smart and strong in public
But dumb and weak in private
The lines got blurred from time to time

Sorry
For tolerating and letting those narratives hold you
Felt safer to comply than to fight
I can't blame you
Because those narratives were reinforced every step of the way

Sorry
I just wanted the best for you
I did what I had to protect you
Once Again I am sorry

Thank You
You did protect me and I will be forever grateful
But its time to let go
Some dreams die but others are about to bud and bloom
I love you but I am no longer you
I don't want to miss another season because I couldn't accept what we have been through
I will forever miss some parts of us
But its time to start anew

They both saw the brightest stars in one another eyes
But their stars never aligned
Because the light in their eyes
Were from the past which they could never revive