It's Sunday morning
I'm in mourning
My "give a ****" died last night
Amongst your words "you're just a blight"
You said it, not in anger
But with the disconnect of a stranger

.........SO.........

I no longer give a ****
Killed with your hit
I'll just lay
I'll just decay
I no longer give a ****
I'll never again throw a fit
Pushed to far
Drowning in tar
I no longer give a ****
My heart you just ripped
Casted aside
Feelings died
I no longer give a ****
Your love was counterfeit

Once upon a time in the days of old
There lived a very ugly troll
But her heart was made of gold

Her body was round and lumpy
Her brow furrowed and grumpy
She always stood all slumpy

She was abandoned as soon as she was born
For her mother had looked upon her with scorn
For with beauty she was not adorned

She was wrapped in a towel and placed under a bridge
Right up there on that little ridge
She was nothing then but a little smidge

The forest creatures insteed of eating her up
Raised her as a cub
They even shared with her their grub

The wolf taught of graces
The vultures, patience
The skunk, fragrances

The mouse taught of need
The crow, greed
The fox, speed

She lived in an ugly house of mud
Just like her the outside was a dud
But wow the inside of that hut could warm your blood

Late one night came a knock on her door
It was a knight in shining armor complete with sword
Battle weary, and badly gourd

She took him in and sewed up he's wounds
He looked longingly in her eyes, she thought loved had bloomed
But in reality she unknowingly sealed her doom

For he had seen her heart of gold
Please excuse me, this is where the tale turns cold
For this knight was not so nice, he had a heart of mold

Late that same darkened night
He unsheathed his sharpest knife
And plunged in the troll's chest just right

With a wailing mournful cry
Right there in her hut she would die
In that fleeting moment that sparkle left her eye

That knight cut out that gloden heart
It was so huge he had to put it on a cart
He didn't feel bad, what an ugly troll was he's only thought

The animals came to see what was that screaming sound
The wolfs smelled around
Nose to the ground
Off to hunt that evil knight down

The vultures did what they do, and ate her remains
The crows joined in and did the same
The mice and the fox just ran around all insane

The moral to this story is an ugly body can hold a heart of gold
But this world is very, very cold
So be very careful with your heart and to who it is you show

I found a bean in my room
Hope that means I'll be leaving soon
If I plant it in my carpet
And put an X to mark it

Maybe if I sow
Maybe it will grow
And have a great stock
And for a moment I'll just stand and gawk

Maybe it will grow into the sky
Past where the birds fly
Up past the clouds
Where humans are not allowed

Then like my old friend Jack
I'll pack me a sack
Then I'll start my climb
Up that big sturdy vine

At the top I wonder what I'll find
Will it be peace of mind
Will my giants all be slayed
Will I finally be unafraid

I want to be above the grind
And all of mankind
So I planted my bean and watered it well
You can see it's starting to grow and swell

The roots start to snake
Making my floor quake
But it didn't grow up, but sideways instead
I looked at it with dread

Even my daydreams
Are not as they seem
But nightmares ensues
My lovely dark muse

Fluffy white clouds, sailing in a sea of blue
I never knowing, no I hadn't a clue
This would be the last day I would be seeing you

Got off work, went to your home
Door was locked so around it I roam
Peeking in the windows, rapping on the glass
Please just answer me, I shout out and I ask

I seen you this morning in the dawns haze
You looked so stressed, stuck in your maze
I made you promise you'd get some sleep
I laughingly suggested counting sheep
You gave your sweetest fake grin
Gave me a hug, turned around and went in

I whispered I love you as I turned to leave
I heard you heave a heavy sigh of relief
You was in the abyss
Company you would not miss

You was head diving for the bottom
Your mood fit the skelton tree's of late autumn
Your emotions where laid bear
You trembled like those trees in the cold morning air
Everything you had cared about, you let fall away
Just like those tree's did, all around you at your feet they laid
Everything you once cared about was in a slow rotting decay

You never answered your door that I pounded on
You was already gone
You left everything, even your phone
You took off all alone

You left no note
No sign of hope
One minute you was here
Now your gone and I fear
I will never see you again
I fear your sorrowful life you put to an end

But I'll never know
Which direction you decided to go
I hope your out living your dreams
That this is not what it seems

Dear friend I love you so
I really need to know
So out in your woods I took a stroll
Down to your favorite spot where the creek flows

Relieved your lifeless body I didn't find
Wishing you had left a sign
But I didn't find you there
Babe where are you, you know I care
Not knowing what happened to you
Is leaving ME lifeless and blue

One, two, three
What the **** is wrong with me

Four, five, six
I think my mind is kinda sick

Seven, eight, nine
Pretending that it will be just fine

Ten, eleven, twelve
Into my past, please dare not delve

Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen
My life's obscene

Sixteen, seventeen, eighteen
A ******* crime scene

Nineteen, twenty,
On the ground my blood is plenty

All my feelings have disbanded
They've gone and left me stranded
Of every emotion I am void
I need to talk to someone like Freud
This feeling of nothingness, leaves me past the brink
For now into TURE insanity I sink

Only the truly insane will not care
If they close the lid and leave you no air
For guilt will not play it's part
For the insane has no heart

You can take a knife and plunged it in
Make me pay for all my sins
I really don't care who dies
Not even if it's I
There will be not one tear to cry

For all my emotions, the good and bad
Have disappeared, it should make me sad
But it don't
Don't ask me to care, I can't and I wont

My God has laws never ment to be breached
He loves to use tragedy to teach
He staff is always ready and in reach

You may think demons get to freely play
But he shows them the very way
He lets them use hurtful words to get us to sway

It's all just a ploy, to make us run
He leaves us under the gun
God just smiles, he's having fun
For when all is said and done
It will be to him we run

Lost in a world of cruel misfortune
I'm just another ***** orphan
Searching for that elusive love
That will raise me far above
This pitiful life in which I dwell
A regular modern living hell
Planted in front of the tv at night
Tears sliding down my checks in the flickering light
Dreaming that in the light of day
A gentle heart my way, will sway
Take my hand, lead me to the stars
As he kisses every single scar
But for now I'm just a lonely orphan
Wallowing in love's misfortune

I'm facing down the beast
It's constant assault will never cease
It's ridged, but everything to it's will bends
Beyond this earth it transcends

It eventually leaves everything to rust and ruin
On and on it keeps on chewing
There is no stopping it, I'm only human
It's always there, always looming

In it's clutches there is nothing but change
It just loves to rearrange
Mountains it will not let stand
Oceans it will turn to sand

Every single thing, it touches and rapes
Even in the coffin there is no escape
It still munches and shapes

Dead and dying dreams, it leaves in it's wake
Everything it will forsake
It's always there to leave it's mark
In the light or in the dark

So while we're here ring the bells, let them chime
While there's still a mountain, climb
After all, you can't change time

A cookie cutter version is what this world wants
So my wild messed up ways I flaunt
You can try to figure me out
As in your face I shout
I'm not like the rest, I never will be
You look but don't see
The uniqueness in me
There's no other that comes close
No one can make that boast
They ask why can't you be like the rest
Well.....I really don't want to be secound best

Be you a freak
Or a geek
Transgender, gay, or bi
Let your flag fly
We are all ****** anyway
So for the rest of our days
No matter how bizarre
Let's be ****** for who we truly are

A square that was a little twisted
Didn't want to lay on his side like everyone insisted
Instead he wanted to stand on his pointy end
Look and see just what become of him
Because he did not want to be like all those that had come before
He'll now be a diamond, forever more

Even though my soul is torn
With gaping holes and edges worn
I don't give a **** anymore
No longer wanting to settle the score
It's been to long
My will is gone
I lay down my sword, I lay down my shield
What's the use in what I wield
I only wound myself, that's where my demons hide
They're ingrained deep inside
For in my brain is where they dwell
All I can do is wish them well
For in my cranium is a living hell

One cut, two cut, three cut, four
Watch my blood spill on the floor
Five cut, six cut, seven cut, eight
Isn't this life just ******* great
Nine cut, ten
Here we go again

One cut, two cut, three cut, four
Sinking every day a little more
Five cut, six cut, seven cut, eight
Future is up to chance and fate
Nine cut, ten
This ****** up game I'll never win

In the very dark of night
Where everything is out of sight
With a knife on pale white flesh
I made a creation, new and fresh
Bright and red I drew some reins
Trying to redirect the pain
Away from my swelling brain
So some sanity I might retain
But once I started I couldn't refrain
Knife sliced, blood flew
Laughter ensued
Now my body looks like tracks of a train
Everything still remains
Pain and agony I stubbornly retain
Nothing lost well ever be regained
Like the sand on the beach, I'm but a grain

Spinning and spinning, around and round
Never knowing what will be found
Between love and pain,back and forth, door to door
Which one will I open now, will it knock me on the floor
Pain can leave you lying
Love can set you to flying
So I'm caught between ying and yang
Feeling like a yo-yo again

Standing here with the world upon my shoulders
As I watch my dreams ignite and smolder
The greenest storm clouds are encroaching
The city's on fire, on the horizon I can see it smoking

All I can see is flames, around me the fire's rage
I'm shackled in chains, locked in a cage
By the rancid smell, I'd say my soul has rotten
For I'm all alone, I've been forgotten

The fire rages on

Slowly consuming all my dreams until they're gone
With the weight of the world making me sink
I'm afraid I'm already over the brink

What was I ment to be
Come closer and you'll see
Look deep into my eyes
That's where it hides
A beautiful soul shackled in chains
That's where it will remain

I'm looking for the Grim Reaper, we have a date
And he seems to be running late
We were supposed to meet years ago
And still here I am, he's a no show
I'm begaing to think he's avoiding me
I've felt his dark presence, but him I couldn't see
I tried to grab his sleeve
When with my sick mother he was about to leave
I stalked him to my dying uncles bedside
But again right by me he did slide
Reaper why do you play these games with me
Can't you let my death be
Do I need to write my name in blood
Do I need to let it be a flood
Grim Reaper I am gonna stalk you down
Until you finally put me under ground

I'll be glad when you're dead
You ******* you
When you're dead..... in your grave
No more children will you crave

I'll be glad when you're dead
You ******* you
When you're dead..... shot in the head
For your sickness that you fed

I'll be glad when you're dead
You ******* you
When you're dead..... and at Hell's gate
No more monsters can you create

I'll be glad when you're dead
You ******* you
When you're dead..... you won't be missed
Maybe my nightmares won't exist

I'll be glad when you're dead
You ******* you
When you're dead..... with all your sin
It'll be cursed ground you sink in

Most the time it's my fault
Always in the path when the bullet's shot
All I have to show
Is a heart full of bullet holes

Let me take you to the dark side of the woods
All that dies here is the good
Let me show you that spot
This is where I fought
He had me tied, I could go no where
I was terrified and scared
He did his deed
And left my soul forever to bleed
It will always seep with rage and anguish
Part of me will always remain and languish
There in the dark side of woods
That day all that died in me was the good

Don't burn your bridge with me
The one that crosses the rift, let it be

For I won't send you a boat
That kind of **** won't float

Once you have decided we're done
Around you, I'll no longer come

No more favors, no more help
More matter how much you yelp

Once you've burned that bridge, turned it to ashes
I won't be there for your crashes

Make sure this is what you want
I'll no longer be there to be sought

I'll go on without you
Alone you'll have to pay your dues

So go on, blow that bridge up
You'll be left with just a stump

Have these feeling and their all wrong
No sleep again all night long

Don't mind the blood splattered on the walls
Or on the floor, from my hand where it falls

It's nothing really just the same old song
My demons just wanted me to sing along

You keep on slipping and sliding
All my questions you are Dodging
So I know there is something you are hiding
So you I am chiding
Now our future we must be deciding
It sure feels as if your love for me is subsiding
And the gap between us is widening
As that knife of silence in my heart you are driving
For our future I am so desperately fighting
But every day I feel it all dying
Please baby why is it me now that you are despising
As you leave me shattered on the floor crying
And our love's death certificate you are signing

So very much, will I be missing you
It's leaving me a stranger blue

I am the colors of your lies
I am your broken side
I am the sound within your eyes
I am the sight your ears behold
I am the deck when you must fold
I am the quake, when your world shakes
I am the snap, when your heart breaks
I am the tears that you have cried
I am the future of mankind
I am all that you will find
I am your darkest side

I see your heart, it's frozen ground
This is where others turn around
I guess, I like the punishment
After all I'm more than bent
So I transversed your deep icy caverns
Searching for a piece of coal that still burns
I thought my wicked flame would transform your heart
Well that's what I thought, at the start
Only to find my love was blind
You my dear were so unkind
Make my heart spin, to watch it unwind
In my face, I refuse to see the signs
My once warm glowing heart of red
Was being starved, it was never feed
You grinned at me and said
"Now we can play the game"
"Now we are one in the same"
"Now our love can start"
He had given me an icicle heart

If only

My soul is tattered
Nothing matters
It's all just clatter
Of a life that's shattered

Can't you see the tiny storm cloud
With it's thunder cracks so loud
Feeling the gentle rain caress my skin
A thousand tiny kisses felt so deep within
To pirouette between the drops
Quickly losing all the agonizing thoughts
Spining and changing with the wind, a tango of prefect grace
I taste the rain upon my lips, as the lighting splashes light across my face
An exceptional balance of beauty and the beast
Absorbing the fierce energies release
Dancing in the storm's sweet rain
Relieving the searing pain

Yep, I watched myself get ****** over, it happen in almost slow motion. Could hear the universe laughing as I sat there for hours and hours. Really quite a few days. Sitting across from a poster where Johnny Cash as giving me the finger. Hows that for the universe screaming *******!!!!!!!

Her eye's cast down like a beaten pup
She didn't dare bother looking up
She watched the ground, her every step
The anguish over her face just crept
The wind from her lips swept
The agonizing moans as she wept
What woeful sounds of regret
Her closet is bulging where the skeletons are kept

She had years ago, locked it up tight
Really late in the black of night
For even she couldn't stand the sight
She had already paid the price
So she figured she had the right
With those skeletons she could no longer fight

So every day she can be found
With her head firmly pointed down
Eyes forever fixated on the ground
Wearing her darkness like a shroud

Can we transverse this tragedy
That happened once to you , to me
Of broken hearts and shattered dreams
Can we stifle our deafening screams
For nothing is ever what it seems
Do we have it within, do we have the means
To sidestep the pain
That still rattles in our brains
In our hearts
Even though they're torn apart
Do we dare to even start?

I've slowly came to the realization
Of what makes me so craven
I now know what is killing me
It's not what I thought it would be
It's not the pain, agony, or strife
That is so ******* rife
That's been there all my life
It's not the monsters, demons, or tragedy
No it's not any of the things I thought it would be
I thought I was killing time, but now I see
Time is killing me

She slowly started to get undressed
Her body ached for his gentle crease
His unhurried decent between her thighs
He passionately looks into her eyes
In his rhythm her hips start to rise
As he softly starts to slide
She loves the motion of the glide
Silent is their passion cries
Their body's mirrored every move
They were in the movement of loves perfect grove
They kept perfect time and rhythm
An explosive ****** was a given
Exhausted and satisfied they laid in each others arms
Him just admiring her womanly charms
As she snuggled up and whispered, "babe that couldn't register on any flow chart"
"For that my love, was true art"

I've slowly came to the realization
Of what makes me so craven
I now know what is killing me
It's not what I thought it would be
It's not the pain, agony, or strife
That is so ******* rife
That's been there all my life
It's not the monsters, demons, or tragedy
No it's not any of the things I thought it would be
I thought I was killing time, but now I see
Time is killing me

No one wants me in their tomorrow
Even though I beg, steal and borrow
Still they would walk on without me
They only want to set me free
I try to make my darkness go away
I beg happiness to stay
I steal my tomorrows from my yesterdays
I borrow my feelings from my yesteryears
For today I'm only full of fears
No one wants me in their tomorrow
Even though I beg, steal and borrow

Yesterday is dead and gone, tomorrow may not come
Lets go out and have some fun, come on and get you some
It is no relationship, just the here and now
We should live it up, I'm a monster on the prowl

Wait
Please stay
Create
Long days
Lost
Without you
Cost
Feeling blue
Love
Is strange
Above
World rearranged
Wait
Please stay
Captivate
Make away
Afraid
You'll leave
Blade
Long sleeves
Blood
I'll grive
Flood
I'll cleave
Wait
Please stay
Devastate
Love, forever & a day

The stories never end
They're all about him
He's never at a loss, always a win

Anything you mention, his done or been
Even the best at sports, his thrown that old pigskin
He's stories always told with that lopsided stupid grin

You can't help but listen, he's as loud as can be
He's as loud as the banshee
That lives down by the sea

He'll tell his stories in different versions of threes
I'd say he trying to confuse me
But he's to stupid for that, you'll have to agree

He's never worked a day in his life, but he'll talk shop
I want to take him to my old playground, in the tallest treetop
Or out in the middle of the grown corn crop

He talks nonstop
Till you want to drop
Makes you want to give his throat a karate chop

He thinks he keeps you on the edge of your seat
But you really can't wait to jump to your feet
The most amazing man you'll never want to meet

You stayed with me four days and nights. Every thing felt so right. I took you home this morning.I hated that it was time you had to be going. It's only 8 o'clock at night. I'm laying here remembering your face in the moonlight. There is this aching inside, you're already missed. We where only supposed to be **** buddies, but these feelings can't be dismiss. Are you thinking of me. When you close your eyes what do you see. I know your not much for words but how do you feel. Am I enough to fill, am I enough of a meal. My heart is beginning to swell. So babe please tell. For I don't want to fall for you. End up with my heart blue. In need of resuscitation again. Please don't let my love be a sin

I've given up on love
I'll stick with my drugs
I've given up on humanity
There is no remedy
I've given up on happiness
For I found it hapless

I've given into brutality
It is my new reality
I've given into sadness
This feeling is ravenous
I've given into loneliness
I just need to process

I've sunken into my darkness
Ready for the madness
I've sunken into the sticky mire
Nothing left to acquirer
I've sunken into the agony
No where left to flee

The fabric of my life is a tapestry
Woven together with tragedy

There are black threads of loneliness
Blue threads of sadness
Red threads of the angriness
Yellow threads for my minds sickness
Orange threads for craziness
Purple for my madness
Gray threads for deeds of heartlessness
Pink threads for those rare moments of tenderness
Of course there is clear, see through thread for the emptiness

Now look really close, fine little silver threads can be found of happiness
As well as shiny bright golden threads of hopfulness
It's what holds it all togeather
So no matter what storm I must weather
My beautifully tragic tapestry will be wrapped tight around me
The picture in the end will be so wonderfully sad and beautiful, it will make your eye's tear just to see

Your mind will have trouble comprehending how something so sad and tragic
Can create something so darkly beautiful, it seems like magic
It's because I've lived in the dark so long
I've learned to see beauty were it seems to not belong
Out of place and wrong

But in the darkness the silver and gold threads shine so bright
You would of never even seen them in the light

Iphone, laptops, and the internet is to make us all smarter
But it makes us all dumber, and life alot harder
Microwaves, bread makers, electric can openers so we can save time
To help us make supper on less of a dime
We no longer talk to friends we text
Ment to bring us closer but it's more like a hex
Want to see a sunset just look on a screen
Don't go outside that would be obscene
We spend all our time at work to buy possessions
It's like an obsession
This material world perplexes me
It's all around me, you see
Ment to bring us closer, save us money, and time
But we are always working so much, it's more like a crime
No time for family, friend or mother nature
In this material world we've fallen into a crater
Wouldn't it be funny if the plug was pulled
And we would have to go back to using hand tools
I think we all would turn into drooling fools

Everytime I try to bask in the sun
Everything comes unraveled and undone
The light Only burns me and makes me blind
Always falling farther behind

What is the secret to a happy life
I need to know mines only been strife
I have thoughtful plotted my days
Time has showed me others control my ways

Even when I've only let family in
They still committed egregious sin
Living all alone doesn't let happiness be
I'm so confused that I can't see

I opened my heart once again
Only to get it shattered within
I done all I can so where is happiness found
I think mine is hidden under ground

When I preform my finale deed
On that day I die and they plant me like a seed
I think I'll find it that's where it will be
The only place where there is true glee

Another brick wall
I can't take anymore
My life is a chore
Watch me fall

Another brick wall
My head is throbbing
My heart is sobbing
My voices they call

Another brick wall
I'll just bleed
No way to succeed
Laying here in a sprawl

With clockwork precision
You made your incision
You planned with perfection
All of your deception
You never wavered in your disguise
That made for my immanent demise

You played the part of victim
But it was my heart that was missing
You must have a gift
You were so sweet, but swift
With a flick of your wrist
My heart from my chest was dismissed

But you insisted
You didn't leave me bent or twisted
You didn't break or shatter
What really mattered
You said "I didn't leave your heart broken
I took it as a token"

You placed my heart among the rest
It was quite a collection you possessed
****** and still pumping, they sat on your shelf
They were all for you, nobody else

For I found out to late
My feelings would abate
For you let them lay and stagnate
Because what was beneath your breastplate
Was an empty chasm
The depths of which I couldn't even fathom

I guess you took them to fill your own void
I supposed thats why with others you toyed
Maybe you thought with enough hearts
It might be like it was for you in the start
You would feel something more than dread
But look how many you left as the walking dead

It didn't matter how many heartless victims you left in your wake
It was always about you, for Heaven sake
After all you was the victim
With heartlessness and hatred you were stricken
Now you spread like a disease
Just to bring the world to it's knees
One heart at a time
For you, love is the crime

I'm not scared of the water, I'm scared of the river
I've seen what it can deliver

I'm not scared of being alone, I'm scared of being lonely
I have never been someone's one and only

I'm not scared of losing faith, I'm scared of losing hope
With out it I could not cope

I'm not scared of the anger, I'm scared of the rage
I keep it locked up tight in a cage

I'm not scared of pain, I'm scared of agony
In my life there has been to much tragedy

I'm not scared of hell, I'm scared of the fire
Look at all the sins I've acquired

I'm not scared of God, I'm scared of his wrath
He's always beating me over the head with his staff

Welcome to her house of many bones
Step into one of life's great unknowns
With broken dreams and shattered heart
In this carnival of freaks she is apart
For the price of a ticket you can see
All the horror, and agony there could ever be

All we ask is to put down your stones
On the left is a kingless throne
No love was ever ment to stay
I don't know why, it's just that way
On your right is the dreams that's died
Where want and reality did collide

In the next room you will find
All the demons that are in her mind
Young man, please step back
These demons will, and do attack
On her arm's you'll see the scars
Made with their talon like sharpened claws

Please don't dottle, let's hurry along
This sad little journey we don't want to prolong
Up next you'll find
Human monsters of every kind
They all wear a clever disguise
You won't even see them unless your wise

Of the shadow men take no heed
Off the sorrow they just feed
The closets doors all are open wide
Not one skeleton does she hide
Please don't be scared, please don't shout
The are free to dance about

Last but not lest I want to show
What happens when the anguish grows
Tormented by years of unbridled strife
In the coffin lies her pitiful life
It's not her body, for she is the walking dead
Heart in taters, screams echoing in her head
Eyes opened wide with years of dread

The light and happiness are always there mocking
You'll find her over there in the corner rocking
Yes she had to be retrained
In the straight-jacket she will remain
It's for your safety, not hers
For the pain she endures
Is not for weak amateurs

Exit on the right
Single file, please don't fight
Enjoy the rest of the attractions
We guarantee a hundred percent satisfaction
Unless in this carnival of woeful souls you are captured
Then your only hope will be the rapture