'Twas the morning of
the highest sun;
of which I could not see.
I drank myself
to a drunken slum;
the bourbon was for free.

My heart is heavy today at the loss of such an incredible inspiration to the arts community. Her poetry is the reason I was inspired to write, to be who I am destined to be, and to always live and fight for what I believe in. Maya Angelou wasn't just a poet, she was a movement, providing never ending insight and knowledge to the community and marching along with us during the civil rights. Maya Angelou, what a dent your absence will leave behind, but what a beautiful picture painted words you have left us. I had always dreamed of meeting you one day, but now I know that day will never come (at least in the physical world anyway). Thank you Maya Angelou for your knowledge, your strength, and your never ending guidance. You showed us the world through a different pair of eyes and it is that reason I now know why the caged bird sings!

Rest Peacefully Dr. Maya Angelou!

a heart can only break so much--
the bleeding must cease one day
and once all becomes still
in the dawn of the storm,
the chains that hold the world
in its place
will break away

--and you will be left
with the life altering decision
to repair the impossible,
or let it decay

there is always a glimmer
of hopeful sunshine
breaking through the rain,
but sometimes it's just best
to let the water wash away
the pain

because
a heart can only break so much--
fatality determined in a numbered day,
and once the storm has left you
there isn't much left to fade

to grieve the loss of someone alive
makes me wish i were dead
facing fears we once faced together
i face alone instead
the unthinkable had to happen
though it'd been a long time coming
now the dust has settled
i'm no longer left wandering
i couldn't say goodbye
i couldn't even look at your face
the hole left in my chest
is such a hollow space
it was the opening of a door
that was meant for my way out
the one i had refused to open
i'm now being pushed out

i've seen four stages of grief
up until this moment
and now the only one left is
acceptance
it isn't any less hurtful than the other four
and i've return like a stray
staring at the door

but it's not to be opened anymore.

with a hand full of heart
and a pocket full of soul
i have found my purpose
so down the road i go
i don't have any money
but the clothes on my back
and a paper with a pen
inside my travel sack
a prayer inside my heart
an idea within my brain
a sadness in the distance
births a coming joyous reign
even if i never make the top
i won't regret i came
you may not recognize my face
but you won't forget my name

even the sonnets of Shakespeare
began to sound the same

when you love someone so deeply
that they become your life
you try to keep them firmly in your grasp
changing who they are as a person
just to make it last
i kept you --this beautiful burning firefly
in four walls made of glass
and selfishly i clipped your wings
to protect your from your past
for i didn't think your heart could be captured so fast

minutes became hours became days became weeks of thinking
contemplating the worst
avoiding what's to come
because i didn't want to feel this hurt
the pain in this moment is very real
and a portion of my heart will never heal
but i envision you flying again
and that's exactly what this pain is worth

spread your wings beautiful you
i've done all i can do
i am not angry at anyone but the situation
it seems life has left us with unfair chance
we held on tight in proclamation
not realizing 'twas within a burning room we danced

you may flutter and stumble, but you'll fly again
and soon you will be back in your world; back into the colorful wind
do not worry, i say
do not worry about me
i will find my peace and purpose
in knowing you are free

because your happiness
is the happiest i will truly ever be

I sit at your bedside to provide you comfort and a true friendship that only one of the dying could ever understand. I hold your hand as you struggle to breathe, and I silently pray you find some relief, and I wipe the beads of sweat from your face and whisper let it be. And once you have finally let go of this world in the most satisfying of peace, and once your soul has taken flight from this very moment to be, I thank God for allowing me to spend it with you. When my time arrives, I can only hope there is such a caring spirit to fulfill such a dire need.

it's 6 in the morning and i'm listening to the blues
the soul in the sax plays a tune to mimic the rhythm of my feelings
a crescendo of colorful sound to express my inability to decide whether to take the road that's right or left
which ever road leads me back to you

you see it's like a magnetism--our love
no matter if the fire burns down the walls around us
or the flood of our tears washes us down the hillside
nothing separates us for more than a moment
and here we stand back at the crossroads
again

so i'm going to take this midnight train to Georgia
for the love of you
because when a man loves a woman
there ain't no mountain high enough
to keep them apart
lean on me, and i'll see you through
hold me, so you can help me stand too
we can be whoever we're to be
it's no one else's business
we can be free--just the two of us

in my heart, my baby love
some day, we'll be together

again.

the genie said make a wish
actually he said i could make three
and as i carefully placed my thoughts
i figured i would combine my dreams
yet how can i limit myself to the top three things of which i wish but do not need?

so, carefully, i shall whisper a grain of sand
into the ear of magic that is he
to grant me the wish of life itself
by the planting of a seed
because as you know the seed will grow
and from the roots there'll stand a tree
branching out providing life for years to come;

as this wish isn't just for me

foolish one, what have you done?
that does not equal three
but i have the gift of life and health
for everyone else
what more will i ever need?

I got curious about your past so I sat down for two hours and read every single thing you had ever written
I also discovered every single thing she had written as well
AND!
I managed to see what you had written each other
I sat back and drank my coffee and laughed a spell
Oh you had me at hello
You charming ******* you
and to think I have shared and shared
and to think I opened up my soul
I let you in
For the record, her poetry ***** ***** in comparison to mine, and to anything I ever written for you bled onto the screen like a wounded heart
My blood wasn't clear it was thick and sincere and full of harmonic truth!
Because this isn't just infatuation
this isn't just a **** text message
oh light up my screen every day type of conversation
It was written
It was predicted
and here I am ******* for making such a careless and irrational decision
The nerve! Ugh!
To think I seriously believed
that I was the first
and the first of many was me
but from the looks of her story
it seems the first it was she

You answered my question and I read
right
between
the lines
I'm here for your amusement
and the passing of time

You are so good!
I wonder how many other women you have swooned
How many of us were lured in by your excellent ******* poetry
to have our sorry ***** served on a spoon

You know what? I'll give you the benefit of the doubt
Ill throw my hands in the air and throw in the towl
To think I shed a tear because I really wanted and needed you around somehow

Go ahead and take your bow

The show is over now

I still blush when you kiss my forehead
and when you pinch my hip or nudge my back as you walk past
I still get butterflies when I make you laugh
How could I know love at such a young age?
How could I have known?
The moment my eyes found you
I knew
The moment I gave my all when I had nothing and we turned that empty void into something
and even though there was pain and anguish and heart ache I would do it
yes, I would do it all again
just the same
I wouldn't change a thing
Because there's no other place I'd rather be
than right here with you
Beneath your chin atop your chest listening to the sound of your heart
and feeling your fingers in my hair
listening to your dreams and stories of joy
Speaking about future endeavors that we wish to seek together
The wind carries a song you may not hear for I know that God is speaking and He is saying our blessings are already here!
My love, my sweet
Skin against skin
Kiss on your lips
Hold on for dear life as we live life and love life in love

Forbidden to others and I realized others will never understand and I realized it's not for anyone or anything or others to understand
Because it's you who holds my hand
Because it's you who brushes my cheek
Because it's you who chases the demons away
Because it's who wipes my tears
Because it's you who makes me smile and dream and be not afraid to seek

My love,
You make me feel such a way that I could fly without wings
If an angel could expel the feathers of her being without seeing then I could represent my heart in a thousand shards of emotional delicacy

For that is what you create within me

you run through my mind like water
cleansing any good left in this world
showers of emotions that cannot be restrained
down upon my heart do they rain
and in seeking shelter from the storm
i find myself in the trap you've created
left with no option but to strip myself down and now my soul is naked
though i stopped answering your calls
i remember how good you felt inside me
soon i am prisonor at war that's been taken
(and you always seem to find me)

what say you? you crazy man of a fool
i've sent you packing straight to hell
(though i've been there a few times too)
it's when the chill in the air becomes too cool
that i feel the need to be abused by you
and the pain in the pleasure is worth the ravishing beating
we say it's love, but what's the true meaning?
when two souls are colliding because they've come out of hiding just to give way to waters receding

you say i'm your revolution
that i am the sun to your earth
i say some lies are worth believing
(yet they always seem to work)
a round of applause to the love
that always makes it hurt
a standing ovation to the taste of your kiss
that always makes it worse
because you will always leave
and i will always turn away
but you will always be back
and i will always vow to stay

what's the meaning any way?
an addict never tells the truth they say
shoot me with your broken promises any day; right in the veins
the high is a euphoria i can't explain
we've everything to lose
we've nothing to gain
i am addicted to your madness
you are addicted to my pain

rebels in a world that isn't ours
we set the standards; there are no bars
there is no sun to set; there are no stars
there is just us

whoever we are

It's scary as ****
I'm living a double life
I've created a whirlwind fantasy
of perfected misery
smack dab in the middle of something
meant to be left for broken
meant to be ashes
withered to dust
and here I am barely putting my pieces
back together in the way
they were made
because i thought self admiration
and emotional mutilation
confirmed all acclamations
that this isn't love
this is lust

So in the back of my mind
I think who do I trust?
while my heart begs and pleads
give his soul right to me
and my soul goes right to him
(because that ***** is so free)
I attempt to resist
but for the life of me
every ******* cell in my body
gives right in

temptation is bliss

my mind is weary
because my skin is black
the fighting never ends
we are murdered by enemies
who pledge to be our friends

my soul is tired
because my skin is black
they say move on from the past
as if our great grandparents
weren't working their plantation
disregarding the fact that slaves
have built this nation

my eyes are burning
because my skin is black
crying rivers of tears that lead to
oceans we never see
because American paradise wasn't built
for people who look like me

my heart is hurting
because my skin is black
will it be my brother next?
could it be my father too?
without the love of my life
i have nothing
and what if they take him too?

my skin is on fire
because it is black
a pigment i was born with
that i cannot give back
the darker we are
the more we are judged
the more we are killed
the less we are loved
so we turn to each other
to lift each other up
and now you call us racist
when before you didn't care
you only see a possibility of unity
and i think you just might be scared
we are now aware of our power
that you try to retract
did you forget who your president is?
hmm.. imagine that

we are all weary
we are all tired
we are all hurting
i refuse to tell my son he is less worthy
i refuse to see my daughter cry
and ask why we have to die

because our skin is black

all we have ever wanted was to be treated as EQUALS, as HUMANS, as PEOPLE
America you owe us that!

and know without trying
that i am doing it right
to know when you see me
you fill with excite
my spirits run low
due to unjustly fights
and i hide behind scarves
and avoid biding light
yet i await for your touch
it will all be alright
in this mask i feel ugly
the day is still night
you've yet to dismount your horse
but aren't you my knight?

i just want to feel beautiful
as well as i might

of all the days
and timing too
you're no longer
the man i knew
it takes a while
they it's true
to process life
to pass it through
the brain is such
a funny thing
forgotten song
but tries to sing
you do not cease
to inspire me
your needs will
never tire me
although different
and sad to see
you'll always be
Dad to me

brutal battles fail to cease
from north to south
and west to east
within her head
from heart to feet
it's she against
an entire world
that's quite a job
for such a girl
she tries her damnedest
to say the least
so she lies awake
and fears defeat

embodied in the flesh of ghosts
it's an unknown atmosphere
look deep into the eyes of the host
you'll see the devil's here
he lives in me
we talk amongst ourselves in vain
laughing at those around us
too caught up in religion to see the pain
though the world's on fire
it's my soul's desire
to be free again
raging waters beneath the core
from the tears of broken hearted rain
singing a song freedom
engulfed in ash and flames
deep in the pits of this self centered hell
you may hear the sound of my name
it is but the voice of my own throat
screaming to be claimed
in a blackness so dark and deep
this body is just the frame
i gauge out the eyes of the host
so he can take the blame
i curse the heavens for deserting me
for making me insane

it's an unknown atmosphere
being trapped in here

we were brought here on a boat
taken from our land against our will
we were sold for loose change
with a collar upon our throats
we fell beneath the soil
ate from the hands of the unholy
forced to take beatings on our backs
until our skin began to boil

while we break way from the chains
freedom ain't free in a land not built for us
we still must eat what we're fed
and follow commands from the reigns
Go back home, they tell us
Go back to Africa, they say
but they were the ones who took us
just so they could sell us

in an attempt to learn our roots
we stand in sand and land afar
hop on a plane of knowledge
in shiny over privileged boots
now Africa doesn't even know who we are
and they don't call their land our home
we aren't welcome, obrani they say
from our chest falls a shattered heart

poorly treated by our present and our past
it's no wonder we remain so broken
striving for equality until we die
misunderstood and fading fast
years of tiresome of repetition
the mission never changes
we just want to be accepted as human

Do you finally see the vision?

my mind is constantly going
going and going and going
worried about the day head
and still trapped in yesterday
i'm always dreaming about the future
but hardly do I sleep
even though i walk this earth in a visibly awoken state
subconsciously unknowingly
my sanity is weak
trust a higher power is what they say
but even that we cannot see or touch
who's to say god is real anyway?

walk with me

let me show what it is i speak
because to explain in spoken word is something not of my expertise
so i will paint you a picture in poetry
place yourself in cloth sneakers
standing in the middle of the rain
arms open wide head tilted back
and when the lightening strikes
you'll feel a wave of pain
you see the storm will let up, and you'll see a slight break in the clouds
but you'll never fully see the sun
that's what my life is like now

and in all this going and going and going
i must rest my weary head
while nightmares make the best of bad weather
planting the damnest of seed as slight as a feather

fear
worry
fright
anger
sadness
happiness
delight
sickne­ss
wellness
day
night
grief
loathing
pity
spite
jealousy
hatefuln­ess
weakness
fight
acceptance
willingness
wrong
right

if there's anything you haven't felt
at some moment you will feel
for the mind is a tricky being that may fascinate you into your very own doom
because in your waking life
you won't know what is and isn't real

walk with me

i think about life
i think about death
i think about time i've wasted
i think about time i have left
i think about my future
i think about my past
i think about my happiness
i think how long it may last
i think about god
i think about faith
i think about my love
i think how long will he stay
i think about who i am
i think of who i am to be
i think of my imprisonment
i think of being free
i think of my thoughts
i think of my fears
i think of leaving this place
i think as if i'm still here

who's to say i've succumb to my mind
i am well aware that what i search for
may be something i'll never find

peace

does it truly exist?
or is it a place in our imagination?
a place of harmonic endeavors
a place where our souls may finally
seek self proclamation
a place we may finally rest our hearts
in full adoration and acclamation

what's that you say?
peace?

walk with me

i went for a walk in the woods today.

and i can tell you there is a newfound peace among fresh fallen snow,

and i can tell you the crows are smiling even though they await the spring,

and i can tell you the trees create a gothic illusion that all thoughts cling to air,

and i can tell you that although the wind blew the water was still,

and i can tell you that even my very own footprints could not lead me back home.

i went for a walk to clear my head,

and became more intrigued by the mind instead.

nails on your back
my head to the wall
i've written a happy ending after all
wishful thinking
becomes a thing of past
i am nothing without you
a toast with broken glass

turn the page if you will
here i'll be, standing still
whatever we erase
is always replaced
by something better
something real

i give you my life
i ask you to keep it
i gave you my heart
i'll admit it has weakened
but that's due to the fact
my love for you has deepened

hold me forever and beyond
i don't care who we hurt
i'll watch the world shatter to hell
before i let you bleed first
romance isn't it
it's a life; a chaos of our own
light the candle to our goblet of dreams
sit next to me on our throne
being apart i just can't condone

if not with you,
i'd rather die alone

you're the perfect novel;
a story on your own and then
i could write pages and pages about your smile
your voice in itself is the greatest poem;
your mind is the pen

not a fairytale, because those are fake
you are here in the now;
your skin i can taste

wrap me in your forever
your world is my home

for if not with you,
i'd much rather die alone.

i probably shouldn't
but i already have
so don't try to stop me now
i don't want to die anyhow
just trying to mask the hurt
it's been two years to the day
i feel no better
i feel no worse
i just know bile gathers in my throat
and tears well up in my eyes
and i still remember the phone call
when they told me you died
oh how i cried
how i still cry
we cry
as a community
you gave us immunity
to the bad
you proved God would prevail
we saw you stumble at times
but never did you fail
a dad
a brother
a friend
why did your life have to end?

and every time this year i can't sleep
just a pile of pillows at my feet
the alcohol just gave me a headache
so i move on to something stronger
as i wait for it to get easier
the night just gets longer
midnight strikes and the day is here
and you're still gone
dead
like a retired song
just when i thought my heart was healed
it's remained broken all along
come on friend
come back and laugh again
hug me like you used to
fill me with that everlasting life
the beauty of you
in this empty void of grievance
in that absence
***** and pills will have to do

i ain't proud, no
but you had to go
and that's okay
i will be alright
i will get through this day

did you ever see his face
as he took your innocence away
did you ever look into evil's eyes
did you play the devil's games
did you try to **** yourself
when it was all over
because the blood wouldn't wash from your thighs
did you scream into your pillow at night
so no one heard your cries
did you watch your world go up in fire that retracted your soul in smoke
did you mask the pain with the blade of change just so you could cope
did you feel like you just might not make it
did you wonder how much longer you could take it
did you wonder how people could say that you faked it
did you ever wonder why you

did it happen to you?

Can a poet be an introvert?
Because an introvert am I.
I am outgoing at times,
but mostly I am shy.

Can a poet hide behind the curtain?
Of all things hidden inside,
I get them out furiously on paper,
but in turn to speak I hide.

Can a poet be imperfect?
In the respect of not all things memorized.
Even so, I love every word I write,
and hope to leave you mesmerized.

Can a poet be I?

i am the center of my own disaster;
the victim of my own demise
although i fell in love with the thought of happily ever after
i grew to love the darkened skies

reach out to me
love, open your eyes

i live and breathe for your existence;
are you here for mine?

dancing to silence beneath the glow of the moon
you twirl me in a spin to fast; just a step too soon
i catch a glimpse of my fallen angel,
for he's been watching too

i took the hand of chance and laid beneath the stars
in a moment of passion that had to happen right there; right where we are

an unforgettable unimaginable pair to par

imperfections speak ridicules
to the sanity we seek afar
an addiction to the feeling of being wanted;
yes i do concur
and i solely promise to want you forever
right here in the dark

You are what you eat
So if I then choose to fast
What becomes of me?

your brown skin touches mine
and my cheeks burn
your lips press against my cheek
and my heart skips a beat or two
you tell me you love me
and the butterflies fill my gut with glitter
and rainbows
and sunshine
and soon I don't even remember what pain feels like anymore

you hold me for a spell
and I become engulfed in you completely

not wanting to be anywhere else
in the world

Like warm water from a soothing shower
Running down my skin
Like the pollen of a flower into the belly
Of the bee
You are everything to me
You are the sweetest sin
My love
Where do I begin
Becoming one is my favorite part
We make love with our hearts
You bite my shoulder
I move over
You pull me close
Don't let me go
Like sunsets on gleaming oceans
our toes sink into sand
My cheeks burn red
When you kiss my hand
Lead me not into temptation
But to the sweetest land
Where forever does exist
And roses never die
Where losers always win
And mothers never cry
Where I am you
And you are me
Where two bound souls
Are finally free

My love
Don't you know what you mean to me?

My love for you is undying
My love for you is true
My love for you will never fade
But it will always remain

i think about you every day
and
every night

why wouldn't i
you are
my life

if you ever leave
i won't
ever stay

if i can't go with you
i will just
fade away

your love
is the blood
beneath my skin

where the
sidewalk ends
Heaven begins

forever my
heartbeat is
stronger

my only wish
is of timeless gift
to love you longer