she says im rather quaint:
and indeed it's true;
for i speak in quite an olden way...
but i mean not to say i despise the styles of the modern man.

id like to think i was raised
under the class of formal lex
and the slack of millennial typing--
ironic, but eh idfk.

If I showed you a still from a Wes Anderson film
I'm sure you'd probably have a lot to say--
a multitude of ideas waiting to pour forth from your mouth
and brimming off the top of your head...

I'd gladly spend as many hours as I'd need
waiting for you to empty your excitement
as you talk away about the things you love
in that adorable manner of wanting to say so much

Believe me when I tell you
your impassioned expressions
are more entertaining in their own cute way
than any feature film I can recall

Serve me a dish
of things I never knew
and stuff I could say
I only learned today

Have we all become mere automata
guided by the ring of pings and notifs?
The spray of lather from a sea of data
carrying with it wrung celebrity whiffs
have stung us with a certain aphasia...

The written thought was a lifetime ago
long abandoned by the times and all--
where once there was soundness to follow
nonsense amassed like a rising cymbal
whose crash sent reason to the gallows.

The news of the day presents a delectable entree
of a hodgepodge of this, that, and nothing much.
Wherefore we find our tongues compelled to say
something about the aftertaste or to prejudge
as if we were connoisseurs--it must've hid faraway.

Are we perhaps amusing ourselves to death?
I am by no means a Luddite to such a degree,
but I believe we have bombarded and blessed
ourselves a little too much to see...
only time will tell us reason's final breath.

tis been quite a while since;
now that im back im at a loss
a loss for words, a little
clueless perhaps-- for some
reason i havent brought myself
to write til now. why now i
do not know. a calling-- no,
a brief revival, i say; a sudden
puff of air fought its way through
to the rusted innards of this
heaving engine… a momentary
spark, brief in its intensity but
eternal in that its light travels
ceaselessly; the legacy of a
blunt yet nevertheless discernable
moment of passion, barely visible
but somehow, just somehow, twas there.

can you hold me at gunpoint for the swift blow of a kiss?
'cause i know that theres no point in the sift-stow of a missed
endearment of a lovecoin with a pith bold while a hys-
teria owns my mind disjoint in a sweet cold euphoria fizz.

Ephemeral melodies emanate from my dear car radio—
songs too cliche that I despise them.
I only hear today’s charlatans
and their monotonous redundancy of new yet familiar beats.
But there is hope...
The eternal relics that elate my soul, having lacked innuendos—
tunes of back-in-the-day entice me
As I, a desperate old soul, turn the **** in angst,
in search of stations bygone.

(The prospect of your eyes hidden behind the hair-
style of a just-woke-up darling looking square
at these words pushes me to devise, with utmost care,
the following lines in as debonair
a fashion I can conjure.
Forgive me, if you wish, for any chair-
leaving phrases I might've missed.)

Bathed in red beneath a blood moon glare
and strung in stockings for all they're aware,
a picnic with cherries ensued elsewhere
between two dove birds in love-locked stare:
within the upper grounds of a certain lair
only veteran heart-thieves would ever dare
break in, much else was thrown in share
besides the cherries
of a picnic love affair.

A few blows of endearment amidst a midair
smoke thirty thousand feet in rare-
fied air, and an exchange of where-
abouts within the massive grounds of a nightly fair--
glamour and energy had brewed with a potent flair
of sweet and spicy that forgoes prayer
alongside the scarlet nights of puppy love. There
exists a frightening tug
even hugs themselves cannot compare.

Alas, when the ice had melted and the air
was hung with hanging puffs, hands paired
in woven resolve, all either cared
to have was the mere company of their sweet beloved
beneath the fiery glare
of a searing blood moon.

("I love you"
"I love you too")

I don't think you know I used to listen to Chet Baker.
He's likely sung me to sleep once or twice by now,
but I lost him to time and blues, hidden upon layered
snowfall flung from new ears and new sounds.

So it came as a surprise I'd see him again
elsewhere somehow late one night before bed.
It baffles me you listen to such songs
when most people would rather hear a track from Red.

Our tastes may not align a hundred percent of the time
but at least your palate is something I admire
despite its wayward crimes and objections with mine,
for all its, let's call it, bona fide desire.

However, in the many instances they shake hands--
when they share stances and break lines in the sand--
those moments make me proud I met you.
Not many people can juggle in tandem.

After all, it takes two to know tango is best
when both are aware of exactly how either
would break the rules of the dance
to bend the movements to their own fancy.

A Liebestraum and two Arabesques
stood there holding me
between the ears
one mundane evening…

The indoor storm who knew could deject
one so boldly
cleaned its final tears
and left me be…

A new wave calm eschewed ‘til present
flooded in me
serene and aptly dear
calmness…

For a moment I felt a sense of clarity that had neglected me for ages.
My sullen blues and anxious reds faded to black,
and all manner of emotion had been evicted from my mind.
I could think about things in straight lines and deep focus
for an entire ******* moment.

Then Spotify had to ruin the moment
with an indie rock montage in my queue.
I cried.

is it just me
or is the thought of shared death
a truly romantic affair?

and i don't mean
to die together
of old age...

to fall in each other's arms
following an overdose of *****
while we slip six feet under
listening to the smiths--

"and if a double-decker bus
crashes into us
to die by your side
is such a heavenly way to die"

i wanna die together
with our lips locked in an embrace
while we swing back and forth
across an empty ballroom floor

"and if a ten ton truck
kills the both of us
to die by your side
is such a heavenly way to die"

is it just me
or am i ****** up?

(at least then
you'd be the last thing
i see)

******* hell why’s it so cold
i can’t tell whether the fold
my lips compel kiss the cold
or miss the swell of summers old.

my hands are dead
but moving still—
couldn’t feel lead
if they’d given a pill.

my hair is stiff
but flowing still—
even hands can’t sift
my hair’s bobbing fill.

my eyes are red
but seeing still—
the understated
“i’m not crying by will”.

but despite the dryness of the air
and the coolness of the night
the caress of the wind fairs best
without moments of respite—

even if the crescent moon dares
no pestering like the sun, i quite
get way less aware
my lips already needed a bite.

for years i thought i knew myself
but the wind has blown me astray.
with tears and scars i pleaded in vain...
but the current of time has driven me too far away.

i look back but not a patch of land.
beyond the water was a fading ship
whose waving flag whispered farewell…
and the dying light and frigid sea cast me further and further still.

these solemn nights drag on without pity.
i was alone, adrift in blue that blinded;
carried some place i knew not where…
who knew where i was headed (but deep and dark despair (?))

to hell with it! I leave it to the wrath of the gods--
i am blind to my kismet, like a sailor in foggy seas.
the first patch of land i find--i couldn’t care more
what it was! I just need to find myself (a place where i’d be me).

Time has fed a burning fire with dying embers.
A dwindling light in the winter wind, flickering
As the night sought to put it out but could not,
Resisted death and not once lost its light.

Still I pitied it. A candle hanging by a thread,
Waging quarrels with the wind, found no solace
In my cupped hands. The cold and bitter tears
Of these winter nights pelted its withering spirit.

why do i still feel that hanging sadness
from when night falls on our shoulders to coax a "bid farewell"?
a lingering steal-of-thought that cross-stitches
itself in daydream

if i could stretch sunsets
i'd bleed them dry
'til we got tired of purple clouds and orange skies...
id sit through them with you
if only to hold your hand a little longer
before home called back a final time

I know what makes your burn
It's the dim of a moonlit night
and the saunter of lips up hills and valleys--
It's the crackle of cigarettes
atop our pleasantries
and the spill of sweet talk
made unchained by our mouths

To be covered in love until the following dawn
dripping drops of lovey-dovey morning dew...
To be terribly in love until the following dawn
drinking shots like doting lovebirds do...

When I ask myself whether or not
the puzzle pieces of your mind fit mine,
I don't find myself haphazardly tying a knot
to try and hold some faltering sinews in line:
a shove of very different selves pit taut
by a fraying rope of rosy tongue-tied lies
I might've devised upon many a thought
in trying to assuage some "mild" despise...

I don't feel the need to lie about you
when I consider the likelihood
of the likeness of our lenses...

Our tastes meld together in a complementary recipe
of a quality fondness topped in cherry
(and I quite like their utter lack
of back-and-forth oaken pretenses).

I don't like haikus
I feel they're overrated
or maybe I'm bad
.
.
.
.
.
.
at using one too few words to render an idea in sweet humble conciseness without the justification for verbosity and yet nevertheless words spill out my mouth like a flash of water inundating a poor little faucet with needless ramble I have to fudge my mind for in conjuring the words I so much desire that a jaundiced outlook on certain Japanese short forms was borne...


**** haikus but of
course I'd appreciate good
ones every now and...

****, I ran out of syllables

we wouldve waltzed then and there...
the sky and its thousand eyes
would bear witness to that spectacle of a moment:
a trade of footsteps and a synchrony of motion--

we'd wonder why
despite being lost in each other's eyes
we could render such a dynamic embrace
and paint the night a rosy red hue...

i say that perhaps then
the goddess of love
has taken the wheel.

i looked at the mirror, but i still could not see
what many have pointed out time and again…
i looked once more but not a change;
‘twas just me, a self looking struck as it happened he could not see--

i looked at the mirror, but i still could not see
why men and women have said good things…
i looked once more but not a change;
‘twas just me with ruffled hair and eyes still too blind to see--

i looked at the mirror, but still could not see
why many have envied my name…
I looked once more but not a change;
‘twas just me with--OH wAIT! i see it now… and it's as cLEAR as it can bE!

today my mates and i passed supper up fourth avenue,
and on the way there
i broke the safe to my stashed uppers of our former rendezvous...

the streetlights and open windows lining the view
felt much more
complete with unbroken handholds coming from you...

t'was then i knew i missed walking the night with no one but you.
perhaps we can get
us let in new tourist walking sites and have some done for two...

And yet again I stare blankly at the screen
as the cursor blinks, waiting for my fingers
to speak my mind's thoughts. Perhaps within
the night's sluggish hours I will find the words.

A phrase—but of meagre stature and stance,
of small voice and weak impression. Alas,
I revert the page, blank once again, empty
and without. Time drags on without pity.

The words have evaded me for far too long.
I have searched in vain for what to say,
all attempts futile thus far, with wrong
turns and countless detours along the way.

Maybe my mind wishes not to express itself
without my knowing, or maybe these
monotonous nights have reduced my
poetic capability close to none.

Either way, an hour past midnight is never
the perfect time to write a poem of any sort.

Might the years have betrayed me?
Not that I didn't know her but her
lights knew not the catches of my eye--

mighty concrete behemoths of mid
nineteen hundred something
littered my view in quaint newness while

myriads of roaring metal beasts
not without their own masters
lunged forward in a sea of people...

Mockup shops and street food scents
nudged my wallet into sharing a
little folded bill of blue, all while

market clamour played
next to the banter
lining the streets.

Alas!

More than a humble string of words
nailed on a poem the night hence are needed to
line her canopy of neon lights a

masterful description capable of
nesting all that was there in a neat
lingering thought!

im sorry i say i love you too much.
sometimes the moment
winds itself just a little more such
that the feeling needs my mouth
as a conduit for its expression

but perhaps ill spare my words--
to be thrifty in these exchanges
of uttered affection blurs
not the feeling's existence:
the butterflies are still there,
but shall manifest themselves elsehow,
as hugs and kisses strewn
across the skyline of the ever-forgiving night

surely i wont stop saying i love you...
but the instances i do shall
flaunt a heavier shade of red
once i save such statements
for moments unmet
in vibrance, strength and
their capacity to lend our cheeks
a palette of bright rosy hues.

i see drops of water tracing the lines of your hair--
it's like you're crying but you're happy and i swear
even a painter couldn't muster the awe to bear
the sight of you under showering rain

i see nightlights peeking behind your silhouette
and the tones of your flustered blush try not to separate
themselves from the warm comely palette
of the shot of our figures in loving embrace

i see a blanket folded into your solemn sleeping shape
with curves smiling back; in a way, i wouldn't escape
had you had me landlocked within your pretty landscapes...


hug me tight
so that i might see
just how pretty you can be
under the soft glow of a burning moment

like night misses day
It’s the feeling you get
when your eyes can't wait
to see the blessed sun
so they refuse to shut
lest they miss the wake of dawn...

But I know I should rather sleep
to pull myself faster to the break of day
than to stay up conversing with Cupid
about how she's been and what's gone her way...

I suppose my demons
have their ways of inciting the urge
by pestering my mind
with phantasms of her...

Why does the night have to drag itself so sluggishly?
I still miss her like night misses day.
If only the moon would give me the courtesy
of winding the sun every evening
so that it might never leave me be;
might she shine on my face forevermore?

i swear we're rarely at ease
with the way we push doors to new experiences
kissing on public property isn't illegal
but the nerve of the act thrills me just as much

parking lots are often not the site
for love birds deprived of merry lip locking
but we paint them red better
than an arsonist with a burning passion
can shade his buildings black

i wish i could watch that night
play itself once more
on a lofty screen just for us
while we do it perhaps again--

the way i took your form
and made it rest against a certain sedan...
the way i kissed you then
while my body leaned on yours...
the way we held that kiss
despite the bustling of the city night...
the way you looked at me
when we paused for a moment's sake...

i could tell you were so ******* high
(and im sure you could tell i was too)

because they hit like ****** on a friday night.
when my blanket has had enough of reassuring my anxious mind
it's your lovely phantom that hugs me then:
a figment of my pleasant longing
for your hands and the way they hug mine.

sleep with me.
maybe we'll wake up sat on a for-two caddy  
parked across the hanging end of a moonlit prairie.
we'll toss the keys to our locked embrace
until the sun finds us and throws them back.

i'm still in love; despite the occasional madness,
i am in love. even if time opens a cavern beneath
our feet and spreads us thin, i know it'd be best
i try to jump to your side and stagger to cheat
death...

but if fate wills i fall off the edge,
ill face the ground with a sincerity of heart;
not that id resign seeing u again,
but ill wait...

maybe one day ill find a rope
i could climb to see you one more time.

We've all had turns throwing words off board:
a certain few drift some two shifts of blue
before swiftly sinking out of their own accord.
Others yet lift themselves in further pursuit
of barren waterways yet to be oared.
But a tiny handful have yet to continue
their ongoing flight to the edges of the world...
And still most words end up sunken--
as nothing more but lost conversations.

you'd lie on my lap
with nothing much to say
and there i'd bend
to meet your wandering gaze...
the rain, however light,
would feign tears on your face
tears i'd pretend
betrayed a sense of elation--
had they been yours
i would've cried just the same.

surely, i say,
that day's a purple aster
in my garden patch of greys,
a haughty little lamppost
along an awry little highway...

that day was
(and i'd say it again,
without thinking about lifting
the spout tipping my pen)
a lovely day, a ten outta ten

I wonder whether we'd see ourselves
on a dainty handheld hologram
stuck between bookends
with titles of worn-out type
one sentimental winter afternoon
many moons from now...

Perhaps then we'd have outgrown counting months:
we might as well count the years
like they do the stars on a tranquil night,
naming the myths and figures
they've burned into our insight;
we'll dream of constellations—
islands of starlight that stood out
in an already pleasant sea
of living life with you.

ride off into the sunset with me
and if we dont burn
we can say its us ;)

I have died a thousand times, yet lived a million more
Swept in the natural flow of whispers through the night,
Evolving ever so slightly through the passage of time.
The mind’s colorful fruit slowly fixing my frayed fibers.

I am immortal, yet nevertheless dynamic, but still unchanging.
I may fall with the leaves of autumn, only to return the next year,
To haunt the minds of peoples beyond, and coat their lips
A golden hue. Shall I tarry any longer in pen and paper?

(she) "so... how have you been?"
(i) "the evenings arent kinder
but the moon still flashes her grin."
(she) "you're seeing phantoms of her?"
(i) "i swear they're real-- it ain't just gin!"
(she) "of course not... heck, id write a letter
if that'd save your pills from chasing the bin."
(i) "but i swear i've never been better!"

(she) "so you'd rather live a beautiful lie
and wake up in the clutches of a lovely ghost?"
(i) "you call her that, but when i cry
my tears crawl to caress and coyly coast
her silhouette--"

(she) "i mean no tirade nor needless offence,
but i fear your mind is a marionette
and her hallowed mirage but a reckless goddess
of a puppeteer beneath your blanket..."

(i) "why cant you trust my mouth,
which has kissed hers
and ****** her name aloud
amidst moments of wonder?"
(she) "because my mouth and hers
have not shaken hands
and your mind still suffers--"
(i) "i don't think anyone understands..."

(i) "perhaps she hates the sight of you?"
(she) "perhaps the sight of her only
lies in your bedroom amidst déjà vu."
(i) "it's not right to barter my sanity--"

(she) "take your pills."
(i) "i don't need them!"
(she) "take your pills."
(i) "but i'm fine and well!"
(she) "take your pills."
(i) "but she's ******* real!"
(she) "let's be ******* real."

(she) "you're in denial.
you cant stand losing the person
who fit you all the while
because the outline of her reason--
her figure which has fit you
with edges that lined up
in a way too good to be true,
too good to be made up--
are a haunting projection
from your lonely little mind
of its fading photograph
of a long-lost love."

(i) "..."
(she) "take your pills."
(i) "okay..."
(she) "i'm sorry."


(i) "where'd you go?"

the ill-tempered autumn wind does little to sway an evergreen

whose timber column rings thus of doggedness unseen.

there may have been moments when leaves would wither here and there,

but its blanket of foliage has fought to keep its verdant hue--

whether caught in snow or shaken by pelting rain,

whether trampled undue by the trudging of time

or battered somehow by a certain bane...

the fact is, he's been here for so long:

he's taken after the colors of her writing pens

like mixed laundry bleeding its red unto a wash of white linens--

alas, sometimes I find myself lying beneath the boardwalk

drowning in her songs and sifting through a gallery of her smiles.

this has been the most meaningful three quarters of any year

i have had the privilege of co-authoring with someone so dear.

****!
no way!
im still alive?
im getting too ******* old...
anyway, what's for breakf-- "rent"?
****,
i'm old.

No paper has no folds. Look closer and it will be apparent;
A crease, hidden beneath its purported smoothness—
Though blatant once told of, a fool, sir, will not see it patent,
And seizes within a denial of but his faulted blindness.

No paper is of even thickness. Feel it and it will be known;
A bump, then a sudden thinness somewhere on it—
So whether his benevolence hides it, he hides it from his own,
And dumb as he may’ve been, will never confess of it.

No paper is of ideal quality. The fact cannot be denied;
No man can ever craft a sheet of paper beyond half-perfect—
And thus, sir, do accept readily, for it has to be resigned, that
Likewise, no man is of perfect character, nor hasn’t defect.

she's a park bench witness
to my marked French kisses
and her pulchritude pulls me to say
not even Clark Kent's mistress
can push me out of her flames

the quick brown fox
jumped over the lazy dog
and spun a fancy tale
about the history of clichés

it beat a valiant bush
before burning a broken bridge
and kicking its own bucket
under six feet of foliage

now its dead like that horse it beat--
from counting chicks and party tricks
to counting sheep and hourly bleats
the fox is dead but oh was it quick!

"The clock lies!" is the diatribe of a fiery romance.

He stockpiles a little side of diary parlance

in the form of littered poems.

To think the road has stretched itself so far

despite home so closely etched and still familiar

seems but a big lie.

Alas, I've never rambled so far from day one

as I have with her, stapled to hours that weighed like none

other before them.

I'm happy to say that so far as we've walked

the street lamps still shine despite the scaled distance

and sunsets spill to night in nonpareil vibrance

just as they had when we first held hands.

i just want you to tie me up
while you stand in front
holding me down
with your flustering stare...

you'd tease my weary mind,
bringing us closer
to the summits of cloud nine
but never quite actually there.

but at the same time
on other days,
in just as frequent that occasion,
i just want to hug you
and nothing more--
to litter our days with sweet exchanges of affection
while we toss around wholesome words of endearment--

my sweet lovelet,
my pretty darling,
my caramell...
how i love the way we love

some say i think of you too much
but so long as overdose on thoughts of you is a ways away,
ill keep taking these memories with a cup of jasmine tea--
id rather count my days with you
than the sheep I see in bed.

It’s been ten years, long but short nonetheless,
But these last few weeks seem most valuable:
With the many tears, shed but shown much less,
With what was and still isn’t; days, countable,
Unwind the deep depths of my mind, as I press
And **** what memories I have left, unable
To realize, much more see, how near sunset’s
Come. For me, it might be time to buy a shave.

I’ve got a lot to look back to, much more to look at:
Those days I cried because I couldn’t fight and
The days I’ll fight because I wouldn’t cry… That,
That and why things are the way they are without
Having to ask “why?” are the things my mind can’t
Help but think of. It’s my time to wake up now.

Sunset nears, but there is no need to fear the night.
All nights pass as if there is none; hence, sleep is time
Travel. Sunrise will come just as soon as sunset; right
After the sun waves goodbye it greets us with light
So brilliant. Indeed, it is time to wake up… Tomorrow
Is just like any other day, just that it starts another
Ten years… of pain and joy, of sorrow and laughter,
Of new things and old habits… I’m not even halfway there!

Is substance abuse that grim:
the instant I use you lights dim
like they want my muse to trim
her figure in darkness--

Blow the candles out with a kiss:
show a dancehall how to fill a floor with
slow hands-and-all antics
while my mind sinks in you--

Take me deep within nirvana:
make me sleep in a hug sauna
maybe I'd keep in mind on a
frigid Friday night--

So bare with me if I overdose:
Be there lines that blow over my nose,
I care not if they slide me into comatose...

The high that is you,
an ingenue but of substance,
a drug to pursue...
**** me with an overdose.

it's the end of the world!
silence will rule my ears
for the taste of ambience
is not a taste i admire...

the airport bag scanner ate my earphones!
the best ive had in a while, might i add...
the airport bag scanner widowed one of my precious earbuds!
alas, i shall lay these kindred friends
in a foreign trash bin burial grave--

perhaps buy a new pair
as their reincarnation in some foreign elsewhere?

fate ***** with a lot of possibilities
but if you choose one to beset yourself with--
a certain mirage sizzling over the horizon--
might the fixation of that end drive yourself towards it?

So I say liberate herself from one down the line:
fate ought to flirt with the tread's-worth of lineages
growing within its forest of prospects.
Decide where to take her and meddle her acquaintances
rather than choosing one to wed your kismet.

i’ve seen a lot of men jump off bridges
hearing their ironic screams from across
many of them were heartbroken *******
because people don’t jump without a cause

you seek consolation in a desert
where things themselves touch thy sanity
where the small shining sun stings skin and dirt
is there hope for thee? there’s no hope for thee

i regret all that has and would’ve been
(i apologize for the pessimism)
i’m a stupid man who’s gone by nineteen
(i apologize for the nihilism)

but oh am i greatly sorry—alas!
it seems there ain’t tomorrow, my fellas

small moments weigh heavy as the heartfelt exchanges of the romantic;

the doses of molly he takes repel the bandages from a rose's *****

and vindicate almost every awkward handshake ever pushed as an antic.

although sometimes I wonder whether or not I am merely a chauffeur

or the very passenger sitting beside her--equally clueless where we might end up...

but then again, there are no forbidden silences with her.

the cab ride pesters us with pretty zoetrope views on its window side

and the fare has never been this forgiving for such a distant Shangri-La.

i hate being uncertain about certain things
especially so when it's 'em hurtin things
but as a writing frenchman once penned

"Of course I'll hurt you
Of course you'll hurt me
Of course we will hurt each other
But this is the very condition of existence
To become spring means accepting the risk of winter..."

and with all winters
warm rosy summers lie ahead.

A weeping soul asleep in bed— a teenage boy in dreary lament,
Seeks solace in riches dreamt. To live overseas in superfluous luxury,
Is all the boy knows he must have as a have-not. His heart, bought by
Awry thoughts and prospects, yearns for golden years and silver days.

Yet he knows not the life of the rich man; a life of misery and pain,
The king, who sits on his throne, a lonely soul known by all men—
An irony of knowing all men but lonely nonetheless. A glut of gold
buys but bliss and love, for we miss and love what we have not.

Hence all men are hypocrites; wishing riches in their days of youth
And wishing youth in their golden years. The young ask the old why
They are not happy, and vise versa. Neither understand their reasons,
And men will always long for selves whom they are not. Satisfaction—
Or rather disillusionment; always there, yet never met.