My vision is broken
My heart is impaired
I trusted my senses
And met my catastrophe
What I did was not just
A mere suicide
I walked to my coffin
And loved you to *death

I traced circles on your palms
And infinity in your heart
I drew my love on your skin
And made you taste it on me
The time ran on us
The earth is shaking
Heaven's up above
But it's hell down here
We soared the night
With our eyes closed
With the lights turned off
We bathed in moonlight
Of warmth, sweat, and darkness
But you were uncertain
To sketch on me as well

'Cause my ashes flew somewhere else
Where lost people go
I tried running and hiding
Away from the stares
The judgement of the minds
In an irrational trial
I am held guilty of being me
I am a sinner
'Cause I am broken
Left to chase my ashes
Bounded with endless bars
And cliffs as roads
I am sorry
*For being different

Leave her
like how you would end
your favorite book.

All the markings you made
will be her ever after
on the pages you took.

Scan her down with those eyes
that once showed interest but are now
excited to read her very last word.

You would barely remember the details,
the marks, her errors, and lines
and will soon forget her.

And by then, you'll leave her
with pages mangled and folded
and befouled on the edges.

She's just one of your many books
piled in dusty shelves;
waiting in line to be forgotten.

I woke up bathing in the moon light. It was of warmth and tender touch. Though I know that I have to get through of it. So I did everything I have to as I took it for granted. As I went outside to take on my path, my yesterdays kept huanting and pulling me back. I fought and I fought until I thought it was alright. But I'm not alright. I let myself be taken and be brought to another realm where reality's obscure and so desperate to show there's life when there's none. The sun's about to come and the sky's turning teal. I am again on the same road I walked a thousand times before. And I'd walk a million times more. It's not only becoming a habbit, it's becoming more of regularity in my system. I want my yesterday to capture me this time.

I got caught up by the stars
They took my hand
They took my heart

I found myself in the woods
Sadness and evil
Filled everything that goes beyond

And I saw you
Of all the places, but here
Where no light can be found

You smiled at me
I fell in an instant
The stars brought my heart to you

You offered yours
I took it without any doubt
Not realizing we're on the edge of a cliff

*And now I'm suicidal

I am not
Strong enough
To bear the pain
That's brought upon
By loving you
Though I am
Strong enough
Knowing you are
With someone
Better

I was asked about
my favorite love song;
I talked about your voice,
your laugh, and the other
sounds that you make.

I was asked about
my favorite scent;
I talked about our bed
and how the stain on our sheets
brings the smell of our love.

I was asked about
my favorite book;
I talked about our story
and how it is beautifully
inked on sheets of cream paper.

I was asked about
my favorite color;
I talked about the golden threads
of thousand sunsets as the sun never
stopped setting in your eyes.

I was asked about
my favorite place;
I talked about the warmth
of your arms and the beating
of your heart while we're miles
away from dreaming.

I was asked about
my favorite view;
I talked about your smile
and the silly faces that you make
that always make my day.

I was asked about
my favorite among them all;
I talked about you being my drug
and the flaws and the handsome side
of you, how perfect you are to me,
and how you are my favorite.

And this is my first
Of all the people, but you
The gravity of your body
Calls me to fall from the heaven
The crashing of the sun and moon
The collision of two souls
Like attracted magnets
Of positive and negative
Bombarding each other
With nothing but pressure
Your lip did the deed
From my neck to where I
Try to gasp for some air
And I am feverish
And burning with where
Your hands walked endlessly
Time stood still
The angels are watching
I never tasted something
Sweeter than what is now
But forgive my selfishness
I need to breathe some air

*And I'll leave it all here

Through the thick walls of this building,
the coldness of yesterday's promise crawls
and haunts me around in a maze of halls
where neither end nor start exists.
No holes or doors, windows and rooms
I placed myself in a game
where insanity blooms.
The days kept running and nights kept coming.
I slowly grew gray and pale
and my nourishment, drained.
I withered to dusts and became nothing
for I waited eternity to arrive
but made a visitor in me.

Love is like
your favorite
superhero --
it brings salvation
along with
its destruction.

Love is like
the air we breathe --
felt by our senses
except for the eyes.

Love is like
a sincere prayer --
where our hopes
and dreams
are being kept.

Love is like
a faithful devotion --
the act of being loyal,
of being truthful,
and committed.

Love is like
a memory --
lives through the years;
immortal when
scripted on pages.

Love is like
the promises --
uttered from
many years ago;
by a lover, to
a wishing well,
or to a falling star.

Because love
is something
you can never
hold on to;
but can only
believe in.

"It is the last"
It's all I can say
Like the 31st of January
We'll be on our ways
The bright city lights
Fireworks' flames in the sky
Will turn to ashes in the air
And be gone as what we did
Somehow, you're a part of me
Oh, my very dear January
But you only gave me days
You're not my tomorrow to spend
So tonight I'll linger
The cold breeze outside my door
I'll wait more stars to shine
In some more days
My January's coming home

I am not your breaktime deed --
That cigarette you roll
Between your fingertips.

I am not your black bow --
The one that you wear
When you're on call.

I am not your alcohol --
That bottle on your lips
And your face to the floor.

I am not your suede shoes --
Your night time glitter
In your daytime locker.

I am not your perfume --
Bottled and locked,
Always consumed.

I am not your secret --
A kept thought
Inside your head.

I am not your personal thing --
You neither own me
Nor use me.

I am your drugs --
And I brim your head
With what you think
Is true.

the night is deep
though you're not yet asleep
and the air outside our window
can't bring you under our sheets

I held your hand and kissed you
all the way to your ear
to slowly confesss
what my heart wants to tell

"I would never bother to go
outside and look for the stars
'cause I see the universe
in your eyes..."

"you are the brightest star
in the constellation
of people..."

"you are my star..."

you smiled and slowly,
started caressing my hair
like turning the pages
of your favorite book
and went closer for my ear
and whispered,

"you're my universe
and what you saw
was your reflection..."

"I see you as my home..."

"and that's where the
*brightest star belongs..."

The festive lights are drowned
in the darkness of the night
and it's just you and I and
our sheets beneath us.

I breathed and traced your skin
with my fingers on my favorite parts
of you and tried to make your scars
feel a little bit lighter than before.

You healed from my touch
and slowly, I became a stranger
from my favorite places and my
landmarks are all gone.

From my love, I sparked the fire
that burned the fireworks in you
and you're slowly turning to ashes
just like my New Year's Eve.

The wind moved past my face
I am on a bench on my favorite place
In my shirt and PJs and barefooted
My breath flew and the river's frosted
I was caught by a girl with her teddy
To ask me a question sounding so silly
"Aren't you feeling cold miss?"
I looked at her innocent eyes
And I said "No I'm not..."
"It's my heart that's cold"
She was so curious and unsatified
As a young one she asked me "Why?"
She won't understand but I'll tell somehow
"It's the weather so keep yourself warm..."

This empty bed of mine
Longs for you tonight
Would you stay here for a while
Only for the meantime
Just give it a couple of minutes
Try it just for a second
And if you do, at least
You have thought of it
And it'll be warm again
Like how it used to be
Like how it was
Being slept on with you
When I used to be alive

Oh dear, Raisey
You missed the train
Because of those lashes
And colors in your face

Oh dear, Raisey
You missed the cab
Because of those heels
That can't carry your height

Oh dear, Raisey
You missed the lights
The man-made daytime
Because you didn't look up

Oh dear, Raisey
You missed the right guy
It was all a constructed show
But now, the curtains will fall

Oh dear, Raisey
You missed your lifetime
You had it all coming
But also having it slipped

My all's beneath all
I have seen of this collision
In the wind I lay
With the air sinking in
Freezes me to my core
I have thought of thee
You're the one I owe of these
The one I always wanted to be
But I'll go first
To the sky but fall
Teardrops kept flying
Leaving my weary eyes
And all of those
Keep on flashing at once
Until I meet the melting sand
Burrowing me with my blood,
My thoughts, and my hands

You are so in love with the moon,
as much as it is with the ocean,
to notice a little star like me.
It's stupid of me to fall for someone
who sees light than a far away
twinkle in the sea of darkness.
Every night the moon shows up,
you cry and cradle yourself to sleep
for the moon is bathing the ocean
with her love and she's being
kissed with his towering waves
that may never reach her
but touch her in some way
that only them can understand.
And I'm here, from a distance that
only the Gods can measure how far,
twinkling in the pitch black sky
calling you out from your tears,
from her light that consumed your heart
asking for your heart. For your love.
But I'm never closer as the moon is to you
and falling from the heaven is just
worth a wish for you to have her love.

I can still see you in the dark
     and as I trace your silhoutte on my wall,
     you juggle your last piece of
     cigarette between your fingers--
     disregarding the heat.

I can still feel you in the wind
     with your scent that draws
     all the girls in town to you
     or even when you smell like alcohol
     and fall from your seat.

I can still write down your name
     when I thought my pens
     grew tired of bleeding for you
     and now my blank sheets will be your tomb--
     keep them marking on repeat.

The fireworks burned the sky
Your memory burned my heart
My tears fell like the ashes
Leaving traces in the air
But the wind had it dried
Saying tears were my love
You let them fall and be gone
I can't catch 'em 'cause they're meant
To fall and get dried like of my love
Must be withdrawn to start again
To light up new flames
And drown the city lights

It was what she had
It was what she needed
It was what she did
To bleed for a living
It wasn't what she thought
That she would go through
It's where she's used to
Die to live today
It wasn't her fault
It was the fault in her heart
The cracks on her cheeks
Brought upon by loving you bad
She's dry and wringed
Wrinkled and broken
Though what she ever did
Was to pick up each of her piece

I am so consumed
By my own addiction
And I'm addicted
To loving you
But you're just in
The cloud of my thoughts
And I light up a smoke
Each time the clouds
Brim over my lungs
Each part of me
Is just so into you
And they tell memories
Of you as I burn them slowly
My tub turned instantly
To an ash tray containing
My remains and the
Thoughts of you

But hey--
I spared my heart for you
May you know how warm
It'll be to have me in

You never let these tears
To flow fearlessly from me
And made me believe
That rain is for the weakest
That the sunshine up above
Is what should be inside
And so I never got the chance
To know what rainbow is

Your hand on my hand
Got those eyes locked on mine
Just out skin against the warmth
Of how we held each other tight

I let the joy to sink in
Closed my eyes and breathed deep
Opened 'em again and realized
It was just my dream last night

Have you ever
Drown yourself to sleep
With your tears?
It's just your crying
That became your lullaby
A painful spell casted by you
And you know that you're
Only cursing yourself more
And when the sun fin'ly came
The morning breeze will come
Stinging your eyes
From all those salty tears
You had to withdraw
From all your pain
You wanted to escape from

As she lies awake
Against her soft sheets
Her eyes were withdrawing
The stars of her heartache
Each one carries
What her heart wants to leave
Warm as they fell
But ceases to be
One after another
Crashing against her pillow
Filling a pool of sorrow
And dries up in the gloomy wind
Her eyes kept burning
In her thoughts, she's drowned
Realizing the stars were up
Showing how we're living
In the depths of the dark

I wrote "You"
But not your name
It could be you
Or someone the same
I can't tell
It's less specific
I bleed out some words
And I ended up with "You"
I don't know how
But it's somehow true
Whatever I bleed out
In black or blue
I always find myself tangled
In the person I call "You"

We had three warm nights
On three summer time
There were three short words
And they're your three long swords
Stabbed me three-inch deep
Inbetween my three rib bone
Got me three hours dead
From our three years of stay
I'll be just three miles away
From those three wine shop
And buy three sweet wine
To give you three joyous cheers
For the end of three long years

And I know stories
Of midnight love
That used to fall
From dusk 'till dawn
But let the sun
Come up and burn
We bear the love
Worth burning for
But how I wish
We fought for it
We should've lived
Love worth living for

Falling for you is like
Falling asleep at 2am
It's all that I wanted
But my thoughts intervened
Of how it will happen
And how it will crumble
So then I'll end up
Falling for some
When 2am passed

You kept your word
And held your tongue
Manifesting a keeper
But can't hold the time
Words were frightened
Heart's a coward
Took all for granted
And you thought I'd wait
You thought I knew
With all those jokes
And bottles of wine
And said "I love you"
Few moments after
Your teardrops splattered
On my cold, hard tomb

Was it really even good
To breakdown and cry?
To let those tears fall
While you're falling apart
And falling hard for the wrong one?
Maybe it was even really me
Who kept on clinging
Who kept on keeping the ones
Who won't even stay as I thought
When I hoped that they would
But it's a saying
To make those you love to stay
Such a bluff I became blind of
And it's just an act
It has never been enough
And at the end of the day
You'll crawl back to yourself
Realizing you missed yourself so much
Even though you haven't known
Yourself that much
Became obsessed more
With the bitterness in the dark
Forgetting all the lessons
Forgetting the love
Love that should've grown
Inside of yourself
But got it killed beforehand

The cheer never made me
Feel so alive
The sun never made me
Feel so bright
The laughters never made me
Feel the fun
The heat never made me
Feel the warmth
All I am is what you were
When I was into you