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Xan Abyss Jan 2016
I want to be Paganini
I want to be Alexander the Great
But I'm only Pagliacci
A Faustian soul in sorrow and hate
And this is not a surrender
I will never stop fighting this war til I die
But passion is burning my heart to embers
Smiling wide hides the chaos inside

Aimed for the stars
Just to crash upon the moon
And reconstruct my broken pieces
From the ashes of my doom
I am reborn through death and madness
Scion of Nihilistic Sin
In my wake, I leave a trail of sadness
Soon all will hide inside THE GRIN

Choirs of Damnation!
Your Maestro has arrived at last!
Majestic Orchestration,
Barking dogs and shotgun blasts
The sound of frenzied feet as they pound the city streets
It's a symphony of victory against the riot police

Fear me, heroes
For I am near thee
Come one, come all
Hear ye, hear ye
The Jester dances on your Graves
the Joker wears the Crown
And the man who has the final laugh
At last will be the Clown
Character poem.
Xan Abyss Oct 2014
I am not a hero
But could I be the villain?
Constantly I ask myself if I know what is right
I see the cruelty of god, and the damage of lost hope
And pray that I am not the one to bring about our destruction

Some days I wonder, am I in the right?
Is my behavior justified, do I walk in the light?
Or am I the crazy one, the enemy, the threat
Could my inner darkness really cause another death?

For I am not a hero
But could I be the villain?
Am I truly capable
Of unspeakable evil?
These are the things I need to know,
But not the ones I want to.

The Antagonist of the Greater Piece
Is the hero of his own journey
But could my happy ending be
The End of All Eternity?

The Monster becomes a mirror
And in the darkness I can see us clearer
When my reflection changes shape
Into a nightmare of disgrace
I begin to find my way
Back into my darkest state

And a hero I may never be
But could I be the enemy?
Could my happy ending be the end of all eternity?
Ever wonder if you're the devil and you just haven't figured it out yet?
Xan Abyss Oct 2014
Wandering these darkened hallways
The shadows faintly murmur hymns
Of solitude and sadness, loss and misery
The paintings on the wall stay silent
But the sorrow in their eyes
Cuts into my lonely soul
And freezes me inside....

Memories of love and joy begin to fade away
As the darkness wraps its hands around
My ever-sinking heart
In tragedy she spoke to me
On that day so long ago
She graced my lips with hers once more
On that day so long ago
One last time....

These lonely corridors of shame
Seem to speak to me at night
Seem to whisper loving words
Assaulting every thought
And in the nighttime, all alone
Wandering the dusty halls
It would seem those loving words
Aren't imaginary....

Do I hear footsteps in the distance?
Wandering these quiet halls?
In the bleak december moonlight
I can see nothing at all
But I hear breathing, Is that laughter?
It's too far away to know
Round the corner, getting louder
Can't ignore its siren call....

Tears, 'twould seem, have fallen here
On the old, expensive rugs
Underneath my naked feet
Not laughter, but tears....

I begin to run towards the sound I can't ignore
My heart pounds with unknown terror, but I have to know
Who is here? What do they want?
My God, are they even real?
I dare not turn on the lights
For fear of losing them again....

I stop.

Poetry whispered in her angelic voice
I collapse onto my knees and weep
My angel has returned, to save or torment me
Returned from eternal sleep
Still she speaks, ever so softly
Her words tear through my fragile mind
Whispers to me of her longing,
Of her wish to still be mine....

"Stop! Please! I beg of you!"
I plead with tears in my eyes
She continues whispering
Words of undying love
Rage, a sudden rush of blood
How dare she continue this?
Jumping to my feet, I swing my trembling fist

Suddenly I realize
What has happened all along
And in the light of the new dawn I see my bleeding wrists
Lying on my back I see the face of my beloved
Radiant with icy death she reaches out for me....

I close my eyes
And then I die
"Forever mine", my final words
Smiling weakly
Spirit leaves me
She is mine
And I am hers.
Written unexpectedly at 4 in the morning 6 years ago.
Xan Abyss Oct 2014
Standing upon the cratered surface
My eyes observe your world
Through my crystal lense
I watch your planet die

Your gods are dead and gone
And if you follow their dark path
You all are soon to join them

I have seen it all
Watched you fall into darkness
Over and over again
Now all becomes eclipsed

Your gods' wrath was their undoing
And soon it will be yours
If you stay on their darkened path
And wage your mindless wars

I'm but a captive fan (of humankind)
From the city of the moon
But I come with a warning (beware)
Of approaching doom

Leave your gods behind
And you will save mankind
Separate the hate
From your pride
Let the heavens rot
And focus on the earth
And you will see your world
For what it's truly worth

Sincerely, The Observer
What would aliens say to us if they were to communicate? Probably not this, but it would be cool if they did, and cooler if we listened.
Xan Abyss Oct 2014
There's no telling
How many miles I've scraped my feet upon
In my travels
On an endless quest to find where I belong
Through the desert,
Across the sea, over mountains cloaked in fog
I will wander
Singing the Old Wayfarer's Song

But the memories still haunt me
Of the Angels I maligned
And still I'm cursed with longing
for the Love I Left Behind
The Princess ~ Estranged
Who loved to feel my pain
Until one day, it became
Too much for her to take
The Goddess - Divine
of Evenfall Design
Who began to lose her mind
And so she had to say goodbye
The Heroine - Fair
Red in Her Golden Hair
Who was one moment there,
and then She Disappeared
The ******, so pure
Her Immaculate Allure
Tarnished by my lust for her
and Stained Forevermore

There's no telling
How many miles I've scraped my feet upon
In my travels
On an endless quest to find where I belong
Through the desert,
Across the sea & over mountains cloaked in fog
I will wander
Singing the Old Wayfarer's Song

Queen of My Lost Kingdom,
Each day your voice is calling
And though I know the journey's treacherous and long
I'll keep on walking
In the Night Time
You guide me
Through the nightmares
Inside Me
In the Daylight
You Save Me
From Dreams of
Depravity
While I'm Sleeping
You Keep Me
from being Eaten
by my Demons
your Patience
is Amazing
And I can't wait to
Repay You

There's no telling
How many miles I've scraped my feet upon
In my travels
On an endless quest to find where I belong
Through the desert,
Across the sea & over mountains cloaked in fog
I will wander
Singing the Old Wayfarer's Song

There's no telling
How many miles I've scraped my feet upon
But I'd travel
A billion miles more to fall down in your arms
And I promise,
My darling, though the journey will be long,
One day,
I will sing to you
the Old Wayfarer's Song
Life is a journey.
Xan Abyss Apr 2015
Death....
Death walks
on two feet
Saunters up
to you and me
Death,
Death comes
In night and day
In sun and rain
In joy and pain
Death comes for us on our day
In our way

Death....
Whisks you away
Takes you away from the pain
Death....
Whisks you away
Whispers are all that remain

Death comes in every shape
Death comes in any form
Silent as a shadow
And violent as a storm

Death...
Death crawls
on all fours
Has no mercy
for kings or ******
Death,
Death comes
For rich and poor
For saintly and sinful
Despised and adored
Death comes to all things in time
Just wait in line

Death....
Whisks you away
Takes you away from the pain
Death....
Whisks you away
Whispers are all that remain

Death comes in every shape
Death comes in any form
Silent as a shadow
And violent as a storm

Death...
Slithers
Into our hearts
And through our veins
Into our art
Death lives
Inside our souls
In all of life
It waits and grows
Death comes each and every day
Hides until it's time to play
again....
A nihilistic love song about the infinite power of death.
Xan Abyss Oct 2014
It was late on a cold November night that I remember first laying eyes on her. She was sitting in a bar not far from the train station where, upon rare occasion the train would stop as a stranger got off. It was a very rare occurrence, made even rarer with time, that I would see someone worth my attention or time. On the evening preceding this dark November night, I distinctly recall first seeing the sight of this glorious girl, teeth white as pearls, reflecting the light from her gorgeous blonde curls. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, she moved from the train to the ground like a dream, her eyes ignited fires of emerald green, her honey sweet complexion seemed to glow in the flow of the late autumn fog. I saw her in the bar and I flocked to her side. She smiled at me wildly, prepared to take a chance. She had come seeking adventure and a throwaway romance.
I resisted telling her all the thoughts that filled my burning mind. I couldn't bear the thought of her leaving me behind, so I played the strong and silent type, and she kept me by her side. I savored any opportunity to make this angel mine.
She asked me if I knew a place, someplace far away. Some place unpolluted by societal decay. Somewhere we could be alone with no more interruptions. Somewhere our sacred time might continue uncorrupted.
The trees, how lightly they hung in the breeze! It made a perfect canopy for her and for me. We lay on a cliff top that overlooked the sea, just my divine Aphrodite, and me.
She grabbed me with her hands, ice cold, and kissed me madly as my heart took control. My mind engulfed in passionate flames, my self-control melted away. I took her beneath the stars and the moon, and the winds of the sea sang along to our tune. Alone in the air left painted dark blue, we became one in the grace of the gloom. I caressed her face as her body did writhe, euphoric we were in blessed moments of life. We howled like wolves in the roar of the night, bathed in ocean scented moonlight. Our spirits united in a flash of white lightning as the earth seemed to shatter right up into the sky. There was a silence that swept over our time, locking our minds inside each other's eyes. Her lashes batted brightly as her face became a smile. And for a single sweet moment she was perfectly mine.
I unsheathed my knife. Her eyes opened wide as I stabbed her nine times. I watched her die. The perfect stranger.
She'll forever stay mine.
An experiment in stylistic fusion - part prose, part love song, part horror.
Xan Abyss Oct 2014
Once upon a time...
You & I lived lives divided
Until by fate we were united
When we first lit the fire
Once upon a time
I would watch you from a distance
Desired you, but stayed resistant
To the Urges that would cloud my mind
with Wickedness, persistent

Your perfect fairy wings
Fluttered lightly in the wind
And though I did the best I could
My thoughts were wrought with sin
And I desired you like mad
For the Angel that I had
Left me burning despicably
With wretched flames within

And You
were so
Inviting.
Your Body
Ripe
for the Taking.

Guarded you were
Behind Gates of the Dragon
Yet I watched you intently
Plotting my Ransom
Waiting on the right moment to strike
To steal you away from your
Protected Life
And to take you back with me
Into my Cell
In the dark and abysmal cave where I dwell
To teach you the ways
Us Creatures gain pleasure
To make you my Slave
And to ransack your Treasures
And then came the day
That you broke away
From the Chains
That held you to where you were safe

I saw you
And watched you
and Stalked you
Intently
While you were out searching the world
Innocently
And then,
When you were finally in reach
And we were Alone
I snatched you away
from the flowers and reeds
And stole you back with me
into my home
A cold and depressing
Dungeon of Stone

Your protector was gone
And you were all mine
When we were alone
Lost somewhere in time
And to my shock, and utter surprise
You became the flame that lit up my eyes
And slowly but surely as days slipped by
I became yours more than you became mine

And then, you escaped
or did I let you get away?
You emerged from my cave
Beautiful, unscathed
I just couldn't bring myself
to be one you hate
When your love is so sweet
I just couldn't betray it

But then, I thought
of you out in the world
Alone
On your own
My sweet pixie girl
And I couldn't
JUST COULDN'T
Handle the thought
of a Monster like me
Dragging you through the mud
Coveting you
the way that I do
But most of All
Tasting your Love

Staying put was so much harder than
trying to be your Guardian
and Rescue you
and Shelter you
from any more Hate or Abuse

And now I see my sins
Led me out of the darkness within
Into the sunshine of your life -
Where I found the Source of Light
I needed to keep me alive
And I feel like I owe you my life

And now you're free from my Prison
but I guess, so am I, in essence
In the end, the Fairy
Showed the Goblin,
He longed to be a Prince.
An allegory straight from the heart.
Xan Abyss Jul 2016
Killer since childhood, wicked since birth
An alien in my own skin
Prisoner kept in a filthy cage
Rotting in a cell within

But then salvation came at last
In a suit of sentient slime
Devastation like a nuclear blast
And now it is my time

Demon God... to me you belong
I am strong... with the power of Chthon....

Don't go making deals with demons
If you're unprepared to pay
The Price
is always human life...
With no hope of escape

Dont you see?
Nobody can trick me
You should have just stayed away
cuz Now you're toying with the power of hell
And The Devil himself wants to play

Drunk on power and high on life, as the prophecy foretold
Your psychopathy and mine entwined
With the might of the Darkhold
Set off on a gruesome course
In blood I'll find my fame
The world will know through use of force
That Carnage is my name

**** of the earth and bane of the stars
Society made me decay behind bars
Until, what dark sorcery be this?
Symbiotic Synthesis

Savior of the Reptile Cult
Every fight is a full-scale assault
Black Magic Grimoire, Messiah of War
I am the reaper of souls
A song for Cletus Kasady.
Xan Abyss Oct 2014
Her name means the earth
Her eyes are like the sea
Oceanic windows to majestic mysteries
Her skin glows like the moon
Around her smile of ivory
And I stand in the presence of heaven
When she is here before me
Her perfume is a garden of celestial aromas
Her voice is an echo of the comforts of a home
And my heart skips a beat when I hear her say my name because
The beauty that she glows with outshines all I've ever known
She's a goddess in a world of demons
Feet planted in the ground
Head floating in the clouds
Her love is a euphoric feeling
Intoxication
With no comedown
Her body is a grave, an eternal resting place
Inviting, soft and warm - so nice
You'll never want to leave
And I am but a slave to her affection and her grace
Alone at last in her embrace
I forever wish to stay
And at the end of all this time
I'm lost in her oceanic eyes
She is my afterlife,
My world divine
And tonight the world is mine.
I wrote this about someone I no longer speak to. But hey, it's pretty.
Xan Abyss May 2015
Tiny lover resting gently against me
Dancer on the painted winds
Singer of the magic songs of the Old World
Angel born with pixie wings

You're my northern star
When I'm lost in the dark
So I'm never lost for long
I wage war with my childish heart
and still you sing my song

I know you would drink poison
if it would save my life,
But I'd never let harm come to you
Even to save my life

Let us run and hide
In the last of the wilds
Take flight into the sky
And we'll live there for a while
in a Castle on the Clouds
Where we'll watch the stardust shine
Above the strife in Never, Neverland
Where I'm yours, and you are mine

You're my guiding light
When I'm lost in the night
So I'm never lost for long
Our battles are fierce and hearts have been pierced
and still you sing my song

You were made for so much more
Than this provincial life
But would you stay forever
With me here in the sky?

Let us run and hide
In the last of the wilds
Take flight into the sky
And we'll live there for a while
in a Castle on the Clouds
Where we'll watch the stardust shine
Above the strife in Never, Neverland
Where I'm yours, and you are mine

My rose shall never wither
As long as I love you
And if you still love this sinner
Then I'll always love you
A lone song to the savior of this monstrous Peter Pan.
Xan Abyss Feb 2016
Tonight, the Witch Awakens
Tonight, the Witch Returns
Tonight, the Souls Forsaken
Come back around to watch us burn

The morning air is warm, but today's wind brings a chill
I can sense the coming storm of vengeance and evil
Black leaves on the breeze, a crow ****** in flight
And a sanguine shimmer to the gold in the glistening sunrise

Tonight, the Witch Awakens
Tonight, the Witch Returns
Tonight, the Souls Forsaken
Come back around to watch us burn

The afternoon Infernal, it seems they've all gone mad
To chaos doomed eternal, could it be we've all been had?
This town is somehow different, a plague across the land
You can hear it in the trees, you can feel it in the sand

Tonight, the Witch Awakens
Tonight, the Witch Returns
Tonight, the Souls Forsaken
Come back around to watch us burn

At Dusk, in desperation, the sun gives up the ghost
The spirit of the sorceress descends upon the coast
The Wicked and the Innocent - both paralyzed in fear
Children of her enemies, your judgment day is here!
Lyrics.
Xan Abyss Oct 2014
Warlord, Captain, ruthless man
With a lust for blood and death
Many died as they looked in his eyes
And drew their final breath
The sea was his and his alone
Ferocious as a storm
He sent so many men below
Nowhere was safe from harm

O, the cursed crimson captain
He ruled the mighty seas
The cursed crimson captain
Brought kingdoms to their knees
The cursed crimson captain
He sailed on winds of dread
Many enemies fought, many enemies fled
For the rest would end up dead!

One night, shining swords were drawn
And clashed in the light of the moon
Deadly was the battle fought
T’was there he met his doom
For he fought with The King’s Commander
The battle proved most fierce
And blood spilled over the Pirate’s hand -
The Commander’s breast was pierced
And as the dead man fell to the deck
The Pirate heard a crack
And he himself was forced to his knees
By the musketball in his back

O, the cursed crimson captain
He ruled the mighty seas
The cursed crimson captain
Brought kingdoms to their knees
The cursed crimson captain
Was slain, yet did not know
Which daft and dastardly ******* cast the stone to claim his throne!

Awoke he did to a room of black
A cell of darkness, windows barred
Enraged he became at the craven attack
That nearly pierced his wicked heart
Lust for vengeance filled his soul
As he stared out of the barred window
Only to see, horrified
His ******, violent, crooked life
His ship was stained with the deepest red
As he sailed on through a sea of dead
And he could hear no other sound
Than the weeping wives of husbands drowned
And as he wept he began to bleed
From his back and from his chest
He grew weary, needed sleep
And turned to see a golden bed

O, the cursed crimson captain
Saw clear his legacy
The cursed crimson captain
Collapsed onto his knees

A bed of gold with silken sheets
It beckoned him without a word
The scenes of death began to fade
And the weeping was no longer heard
As he lay upon the bed
It began to change its shape
And grabbed his arms and legs and head
Until there could be no escape

O, the cursed crimson captain
He ruled the mighty seas
The cursed crimson captain
Brought kingdoms to their knees
The cursed crimson captain
Was a fool to sail indeed
For ****** fame in bloodier ways
And leave naught but a life of evil deeds

The room began to flood
Until it was washed away
To reveal a sea of blue
Reflecting golden rays
And his bed was now a casket
A casket made of gold
And was cast into the water
So deep and dark and cold
And as he closed his eyes
Under the crimson waters
All he could do was pray
That he would be Forgotten.
I wrote this a long time ago, better part of a decade now. Still one of my favorite pieces.
Xan Abyss Feb 2016
...i hear them howling cries of terror
in the vortex of my dreams
in the dark i feel them nearing
on the wind i hear the screams

there's something in the shadows
there's a monster in the deep
and i sense the presence of an evil
approaching in my sleep
in my sleep...

there's a terrible truth, i don't yet know
a sight i've yet to witness
but i feel it creeping through my mind like an ever-present sickness
my blood runs cold
my hair stands up
and i can feel the wicked
upon my flesh
within my soul
a sickly, black enigma...

UNEXPLAINED NIGHT TERRORS
something our subconscious knows
UNEXPLAINED NIGHT TERRORS
but is unable to show...
strange phantoms lyrics,.
Xan Abyss May 2015
Walking down the street with hungry eyes
Dare not to daydream, I fantasize
Fingers coiled tightly round her throat
Compulsive urge to never let her go
Off-key voices ringing in my head
Filling me with existential dread
Chills me to the bone - burns me alive
The twisted creature I keep locked inside

Stiletto heels echo in the distance through the stillness of the air
The ghetto feels the path of least resistance so I head through there

She's drunk and all alone stumbling about
The prey dressed up in heels & cocktail gown
There's no way she's really this naive
Could this be the girl of my dreams?
Knuckles whiten, liquor on my breath
Fixated on the heaving of her chest
She hears me as her eyes widen in fear
Suddenly it all becomes so clear

Muffled screams and scraping feet fall silent on the city street
I feel her horrified heartbeat as I drag her off the cold concrete

Breaking the straps on her tight black dress
Sinking my fangs deep into her flesh
Draining her of all the will to fight
She goes limp in my arms
She's mine tonight

Sated now, I set her free
But she'll always belong to me
Like me, she bears the Mark of Cain
Her soul eternally blood stained
Like me, she bears the Mark of Cain
Cursed to darkness and immortal pain

We are bound by blood forever now
In darkness we forever drown
Accursed Children of the Night
Forgotten by the World of Light
Xan Abyss Apr 2018
Its 8 o'clock at night but the sun won't leave the sky
Within these valleys, you will find, abandoned houses, caves and mines
And yet in all this time,
Ever since I was a child,
I never realized getting lost
Could be worse than loss of life

The sunshine waxing, waning
Like shades of purple in a painting
I sought out the water to find my way back to the trail
Somewhere along the way, my mission was derailed
I tried and failed to find anything but this Hidden Hill

[This was before the time of GPS so I had no clue where I was
and I strayed further from the passage home than I ever had before...]

That was when I heard the drums
10 beats echoed all around
So loud, but where did they come from?
So loud, but who made the sound?

I set out to start climbing
The hill that sat behind me
Following my footsteps just to find a place I recognize
Once I got up High Enough to see for Miles and Miles
I realize that I had no idea where I even was

That was when I heard the drums
9 beats echoed all around
So loud, but where did they come from?
So loud, but what made the sound?

I should have seen the highway to the west and I should have seen the ranch to the east
I should have seen the river at the bottom of the valley or my house on the hill at least
I turned around in circles thinking maybe I was lost, and it wasn't 'til then I got scared
I couldn't see a ******* thing anymore
Because none of it was still there

I checked, it was almost 9
The sun hadn't budged from the Eastern sky
I used it's burning purple light as a guide
to find my way back to a place more civilized
I arrived at the base of a hill and started climbing
Back turned to the smokestack, billowing behind me
As though for my life, I raced against time to reach the top of the hill
And lose my mind

And that's when I heard the drums - 8!
Louder now, all around
that's when I heard the drums - 7!
Louder now, all around
That's when I heard the drums - 6!
Felt the hours melting down
That's when I heard the drums - 5!
Felt the hours melting down
That's when I heard the drums - 4!
Something's coming for me now
That's when I heard the drums - 3!
Something's coming for me now!
That's when I heard the drums - 2!
I had to find a way back out
That's when I heard the drums - one!
Or find a safe place Underground

I marked every tree with an X
I sharpened the end of a stick
I had no chance to get a grip
Before I ran for my life and tripped
Slipped, fell, hit the ground
And finally the Lights Went Out

I stood there in a clearing, surrounded by a forest
Thick with trees on all sides
Each and everyone had an X carved into them
And the sun hadn't moved in the Violet Sky

I found a cave to hide in, it hadn't rained or snowed in days
So I decided to make a fire, and try to forge some semblance of safety
But something is attacking me
Something that I cannot see
And when I heard that final beat
the Smoke was in the cave with me

Such violence I discovered beneath the Violet sky above me

There was no hope for survival, so here's a word to the wise:
The journey is ill advised, to roam alone at Twilight
When the moonrise is full of sunshine
It burns your weary eyes
& the magic you find will cost you your mind
In the depths of the viole(n)t sky
The violence lies in wait there for us
Underneath the Violet Sky

Such violence I discovered beneath the Violet sky above me
Such violence I discovered beneath the Violet sky above...
My band is writing really long songs now.
Xan Abyss Oct 2014
She drank too much but I didn't give a ****
I had a raging hardon that needed expert attention
And she worshipped my ****
But said it was too much
Yet... couldn't seem to get enough
She had a 4 year old who she despised
Cuz her face was a constant reminder
of an old mistake
She said she hated condoms
That she didn't need them
I was so ******* stupid
That I knocked her up
She was so ******* crazy
I think she may have hated me
She got an abortion
It was a good decision
Otherwise I'd still be with her
And we would hate each other
Raising a child who would rather
Never have been born.
A little raw poetry about an ex.
Xan Abyss Feb 2016
Where is my love? Where is my child?
Where have they gone to, and where am I?
Where is my daughter and where is my wife,
Have they forgot me, after all this time?

My body lies under ancient stone
Encased in a box
Away from my home
Is there a Knight who can save my soul?
Take me back to the land I know

I wait and I long for my home
Under the sign of the Weathered Wolf

Here in my grave, not alive but awake
Weary and restless all the same
Where is my love, where is my life?
Do they miss me, are they still alive?
How long has it been? Have they gone with the wind?
No rest from the questions in my mind
Somebody please,  come rescue me
My soul is tied to the wrong side of the  sea

My body lies under ancient stone
Encased in a box
Away from my home
Is there a Knight who can save my soul?
Take me back to the land I know

I wait and I long for my home
Under the sign of the Weathered Wolf
A song about Chief Long Wolf being estranged from his home, prior to Elizabeth Knight finding and repatriating his remains.
Xan Abyss Nov 2014
Unique-featured sugar pixie
Her delicate porcelain soul
Craved a dangerous inferno
to warm her in the winter cold

When we used to become One.

Her frame, oh so divinely lithe!
Her name, soft & sweet, like a gentle creek
Embrace her with my eternal fire
Buried beneath me, our bodies did feast

When we used to become One.

The Chains of Flaming Hellfire
emerge from every void
And sink their hooks deep into you
until we're all destroyed

And one day -
Out of nowhere, fate
decreed the blaze too great
the fire shattered the little glass box
In which she had kept it contained
And it spread
from her hips to her heart to her head
a resurrected sense of dread
a pain she thought was dead.

The fire engulfed her whole
it cracked her porcelain soul
and burned the forest of her mind
right down to the soil

And the damage had been done.
But she still remembers once
upon a time, we became one
In the glory of the sun.
in the darkness of the night.
In the shadows of the daylight.
In the glow of the warm sunrise.
We became One.
Xan Abyss Oct 2014
The fires of memory
Burning brightly in my mind, I must
Remember the agony I endured
Desires still rage in me
Pangs of anger mixed with lust
I won't forget the way it hurt

To be alone
Truly alone
With no one to talk to, cause nobody loves you
Sitting at home
Rotting away
Broken & pining for the day you will die all alone

Alone... In the dark
Shadows surrounding
Deep in my own black abyss
Will I wait
Where I have no shadow,
And am truly alone with my hate.

My inner demons miss me
Since I abandoned them for you
The poison deep within me is long overdue
To venomize my love with scorn
A hypnotizing spell
And leave me but an empty shell
Desolate and worn

The thorns of darkness tear my flesh
As I briefly feel the ghost's caress
Of what seems like an old nightmare
I used to have back then
And though my smile retains its warmth
I confess to harboring a storm
Just beneath the surface of my calm exterior

But I remember when
I contemplated death
As a viable prospect
For my future
And never again
Will I fall so far
To consider the ending
A suture.
I was feeling lots of feelings around the time I wrote this. That's what I DO remember about it.
Xan Abyss Dec 2015
When you found me, I was lost
Dying from withdrawal
And your sick absolution
Hooked me worst of all
My blood burns without it
Body hurts without it
Heart Infernal, wounded
Hate is Love, Fermented

Wicked Angel!
***** of God!
Wicked Angel!
In my blood....

Wings of Love-Stained Velvet
Sing the lies of devils
Grace, befouled and hellish
Kiss with deadly venom
He who loved you is dead
Bonds lie broken, rusted
Despite all your trying
Your divine light is dying

Wicked Angel!
***** of God!
Wicked Angel!
In my blood....
lyrics.
Xan Abyss Oct 2014
On quiet nights like these when the windsong in the trees
Echoes through the city streets
With the scratching of dead leaves
There's a stillness in the air and though I don't know why
I recognize this stillness as a thing that I despise

For it doesn't do a thing to hide
The agony I feel inside
The fire within burning bright
Such is the cost of life

On silent nights like these when the talons of the breeze
Dig into your flesh and pull you back into disease
There's an atmosphere of peace
Around me that I can't escape
And the ugly truth is that this peace is something that I hate

For it doesn't do a thing to hide
The agony I feel inside
The fire within burning bright
Such is the curse of life

If all life came without sorrow or pain
We'd have nothing to lose and nothing to gain
If all life came without sorrow or pain
We'd have remained in the exact same place

Our pain is how we gain
Sorrows are how we grow
This curse is how we learned
Everything we know

And it will only amplify
The agony we feel inside
The fire within burning bright
Such is the cause of life
Lyrics  wrote last Autumn. They're still relevant this Autumn.

— The End —