There are five widely known senses.
Sight, hearing, touch, smell and taste.
We've got some minor ones as well, such as balance, temperature and many more.
However, people fail to realise that there's also the sixth major sense. Thoughts themselves.

   If we look closely, all these five senses have the same base. Specified cells in eye react to energy of light, cells of ear recieve energy in form of air's vibrations, skin cells pick up energy of mechanical changes, and so tasting and hearing depend on translation of certain substances' chemical energy.
   These cells in different organs differ in their structure and the way they appear, however, if we stop looking at them in such small scale, we can see that ALL of the cells or organs responsible for any sense translate the energy.
   So, a light enters the eye, certain wavelenght of certain energy stimulates the eye's rod or cone cells with a certain intensity. Then the energy of light is translated to energy of electrical impulse, which goes straight to the brain, creating the sensation of sight.
   If it comes to smell, a certain particle enters the nose, binds to a smell receptor cell, and the chemical energy of this particle is, again, translated to energy of electrical impulse, which goes straight to the brain, creating the sensation of smell.

   Now, let's move to the crucial part. The sense of thoughts.
   During the creation of thought, pathways in our brain that collect memories(and many more known or unknown pathways) connect. First, there's this spark of electricity, that moves all along the neuron and releases a dose of neurotransmitters(amount of different NTs is equiavlent to strength of this spark, basically resulting in "creating" various thoughts).
Then, chemical energy of NEUROTRANSMITTER is translated to energy of electrical impulse, which happens in the brain, creating the sensation of thought.
   Therefore the 'sense of thoughts' reacts to and is stimulated by neurotransmitters themselves, with receptors on neurons' membrane being receptors of the stimulus. So, kind of like smell, the stimulus is chemical, compared to sight, where it's electromagnetic wave; anyways the result in all of these is electric impulse in neurons (hence the idea of "thoughts" as a sense, due to the same basic layout; transfer of energy).
   The 'smell particle' connects to receptor and is translated to a certain amount of neurotransmitters/certain strenght of neuronal impulse. SO, again, we can see that when the first outer layer of this communication is cut off, we're left only with the neurotransmitters and impulses themselves. Anyway, the transduction of energy remains.

   If it comes to "sense of thoughts" the receptor lies within us, whereas in sight or smell or touch it's external. However, does it matter if it's on the surface of skin or under it if it all comes down to neurons of our brain?
   When you lie in a dark, silent room, without any external stimuli, you still retain your thoughts, colorful, vivid or complex. All the magic of the brain - still happens. So, how isn't it a separate, full-fledged sense?

If only I could make you feel the pain that you cause me to feel.
Do you not understand that your screams make me feel ill?
I hate that we have no real relationship,
and that you treat me like a slave.

I'm at the point where I want to run away.
It's not like you'd take action after anyways.
You'd probably enjoy the attention you'd recieve,
Take me for granted.. won't you please?

Not only do I feel alone right now,
The people who said they'd be there are finaly slipping out.
That's probably my fault though,
I trusted them too much.

Complaint after complaint.
I shouldn't have told them so much.
I guess that shows to prove that it's really just you in the end.
I've begun to vent here.

It's as if words and rhymes are my only friends.

-A mouth full of *****.

Hazel eyed Ebony,
Waited very patiently,
To recieve her sticky cream pie.

Then her husbands large ****,
Long and hard as a rock,
Dyed her striking face, milky white.

happiness...is everything. Happiness isnt based on money and sometimes not even on what you're doing. Its about who your with.
its about living with no regrets
And realising that a bad thing will last a few months, so who cares if he doesnt ask you out? who cares what your parents catch doing with the one who does? and who cares what anyone says about you.
Happiness is taking a risk
and it pays off
and even if it doesnt
another oppurtunity presents itself.
happiness is staying up all night with your frends.
happiness is water fights on late summer evenings.
happiness is love....lust only gives moments of happiness to the fact you cant believe you have that person...love leaves you eternally in wonder of how you ended up feeling so right.
happiness is being with your friends and wearing crazy *** hats in public
happiness is seeing a familiar face in nevr ending sea of lies.
happiness is no homework
happiness is having tickle fights with the one you love
happiness is lying in the sun looking at the clouds
happiness is doing wat you want to do
happiness is helping one another
happiness if giving all of you no matter how much you recieve in return
happiness is being able to speak your mind
happiness is knowing you have earnt all the praise you get and being able to say thank you...not going red, studying your shoelaces and bringing yourself down
happiness is confidence
happiness is working hard for something
happiness is being wateva you want and not caring what anyone says...you only get to live once..you will nevr live it down if you're on your deathbed and you realise that you've spent your whole life being what everyone else wanted you to be. living a lie
happiness is finding out who you are
happiness is coming home and your parents ask you how your day was...evn if u jst grunt back
happiness is singing in the shower as loud as you can...i mean showers hav that magical power that means no-one else can hear you...rite?
happiness is not being afraid to say someone is hot...it makes u all giggly...saying someone is good looking doesnt neccessarily mean you want them
happiness is feeling safe
happiness is feeling wanted
happiness is feeling at peace with yourself
happiness is feeling that someone always has your back
happiness is when something isnt funny..but your so happy to see someone that u cant stop smiling
happiness is that one thing you can nevr really express to someone...its like a drug, it makes you do crazy things...its make you feel ontop of the world.
this made me happy knowing that peopl will read this and feel happy
it made me happy because i made a good attempt to describe something that can nevr be completely decribed.

happiness is the one thing that keeps you going when you're like the single flowers whose colours hav turned to shades of grey

i cant explain this happiness

Soft, gentle, like one of the fluffy clouds of the purest heaven above,
Free of all sin, of all filth of this earth and of what a demon holds in his desire or temptation within his wicked heart of devilish instinct,
While they carry you to your last judgement they glance at you,
Seemingly so dreamlike that it must be like a legendary illusion of an infinite being, cast upon you to grant you a splendid slumbering,
You will never be able to go back again, it has been decided that it should be this way, depart now my little soul, recieve your justice,
Recall your previous self, as these angels stare at you with roaming might, spreading their wings to appear more light, carefree and pure,
See into the dreams you saught to escape, now all agony, all sin and pride, envy and majesty are burnt away to rot within their light,
The luminousity coming from these fluttering wings, is so smooth it would likely make the worldly life appear to be in a darker shade,
Tirelessly, they are free from all needs, with no need for deep sleep,
Even if you tried you would be swept away by their sheer power,
These Angels had waited to carry you; until the moment you die!
When you reach your final destination, darkness or light will be what you may recieve, or may these wings which seem to be invaluable,
Be pure, then you are worthy of carrying angel wings.

~ Umi

they listend to me when i said look.
they knew a meaningfull lesson i was about to shoot.
close your eyes and visualize your dreams for before you know it they ll become real.
expand your mind and free your soul and all your problems shall be solved.
never forget to stay positive. all the bad things are relative.
focus on your health and stay fit and watch your life take a lift.
sing this song and feel the beat for freedom is what we seek
trust your intuitions and praise the lord and all the answers will come to your door.
seek love in everything and you ll see the love in all the living
never forget what really matters health family friends and animals.
be yourself and seek your pleasures but if you abuse it  you 'll lose this treasure.
trust me when i say be patient life isnt all.about.gold and diamonds.
In the right time you will recieve just the information that you need.
thats if ofcourse you chose the right path,if you didnt your actions wont last.
find laughter in everything. fun is the only medicine.
life is hard so be carefull dont rush things and stay in focus. for what you miss wont be retrieved.
love the children and never lie to them for the truths lies in their heart to the end.
take your emotions seriously. behind them hides life's mistery.
seek romance but in balance stay independent and love again.
dont fight people for energy, others sources give it to you for free.
send energy to those who need for giving is the greatest act indeed.

words of Harfouchism

Life is a rose
Sometimes it showers you in its petals
Sometimes it makes you grab it by the thorns
But even when you bleed the rose is still the prettiest gift you'll ever recieve

My favorite flower will always be the radiant sunflower,
But my life sprouts from the seed of a rose
And I may never be as tall or happy as a sunflower

But I still refuse to walk away from the sun
The beams like glitter dancing off a dream
A dream I'm too small and scared to reach

I am not afraid of being and accepting who I am
This little garden patch grows despite going through the harshest summers, dryest droughts, and most desperate winters
Other roses wilt and wither away

I make this garden shine with the sunflowers in my eyes

Oh God you are the greatest, nothing may compare to you,
Giving, oh merciful Lord, carry happiness through

Oh the one who gives and takes, give us all that is great,
And in our times of difficulty and need, send us aid
Oh please don't let our vision fade...
We are on our way onto your straight path, righteousness is paid

You are the radiance of the heavens and the earth
So please don't let us become corrupt, from our beginning..the birth

Oh Lord, you are the only one I serve,
I turn to you with a heart, filled with love
Everytime I recieve a blessing I turn to the clouds above

Grant us a fear of you that will be a barrier between us and sin
Please don't make our destiny the hellfire.
Ruined, is what we would have been

Free us from the fire of greed
Its what makes our heart bleed,
Kindness and patience is what we need!

Oh you are forgiving...so forgive us



~ Umi

Heaven and Hell don't really exist.

Heaven and Hell are Both states of Mind.

Humanity created this believe that when "you" die, you either go to heaven or you go to hell;
But this believe is simply a creation of the religious intent to control people while they are alive.

They say that if you don't do this and that, if you don't behave in this way or that, then the punishment will be hell.
But that if you bahave this way and that, then you will be rewarded with heaven.

Both heaven and hell have kept humanity in a kind of prison,
because they have created  fear  in you while you are alive.

There is the fear of going to hell and the fear of not going to heaven.

Only the person who does not Believe is free of fear.

To this person, heaven and hell have no power over;
Because he knows his Self and therefor knows that Mind is simply a very complicated tool that helps the Self function in the world of form.

Which is why:
Heaven and hell can only disturb the one who has not gone beyond Mind.
Heaven and hell can only disturb the one who is still IN the Mind.

And of course:
The ones who are still in the Mind can not make sense of what it means to NOT be in the Mind.
Because everything that they see, including this statement, is seen from the point of view of the Mind -
and from the point of view of the Mind one can not see the Mind because it IS the Mind that is looking.

So:
In order to see the Mind, one has to look from the point of view of Pure Conscious Awareness ( Real Self ),
which in other words is the point of view of God.

Heaven and hell have been a device that a part of humanity have used in order to control another part of humanity.

Both the governments and the religions have been teaming up on this intention of controlling others.


When a person dies, if he or she has not lived a conscious life and therefor has not attained the Goal of Life, he or she will simply be born to live another life.

Death does not bring heaven nor hell.

In fact:
Heaven and hell are and can only be while alive.
They are ideas and therefor can only be thought about..

We have said:
For one to go to hell, one has to sin.
And for one to go to heaven, one has to not sin.

If while alive a person has sinned, these being severe sins, like for example those of ******, that person will not go to hell because there is no hell in Truth. In Truth, that person will simply be born again either in an animals body or in a humans body with some kind of misfurtune, such as disabilities and abnormal conditions.
For example, if you have really committed a crime that goes against nature in one life-time, then the consequences of the next life-time can and will be one of many. A person can be born blind, deaf, mute, ect. A person can be born without a body part or with a physical or mental illness/disease.

If a person has not committed any horrible crimes during life-time that go against nature and has been a good person, he will not go to heaven either because there is no heaven in Truth. In Truth, you can be good or bad, but if you have not attained the Goal of Life, which is to become conscious of your Real Self, of who you Truly are, whether you have been good or bad does not make much difference - you will again be born into another body and according to the karma that you carry, which builds from the actions of the present life, will be chosen the circumstances of your next life.

But you will not go to any heaven or any hell because these both are simply creations of the fantasies and imagination of the Human Mind.

Now, heaven and hell still have power over some people because these are the people who are still not aware of their Real Self.

In other words:
Not every-body has gone beyond the Mind, trascended the Mind, into the Ultimate Realization of the Self.

So simply for the joy of expressing myself i say that Both Heaven and Hell are not real but just states of Mind.
Just ideas - believes - thoughts.

The Real Goal of Life is not to go to heaven and not go to hell, the Real Goal of Life is to attain Self-Realization.
Which in other words is to discover, or better said, to re-discover,  your True Self.
To know the Truth of your Self.

To those who do not know,
heaven then is just a hope that keeps one feeling safe in ones own ignorance of death and Truth.


To be born in this world right now one has no other choice but to recieve all the information that has been created by humanity.

And because there is so much information, there will come a point in every-ones life in which he or she will forget what is true and what is not true.

If that person does not have the courage to go in search of Truth, then he or she will simply believe and hope that there is a heaven and therefor there is safety guranteed after death.

This desire to be safe after death exists because of the ignorance of ones own life.

Because one does not know their Real Self, one does not know what is to happen when the body can no longer sustain life.

And the only reason why all false ideas have prevailed is because you have not prevailed in discovering your own Truth.

You have been possessed by the ideas that have been imposed on the Mind, and you have not been able to re-gain control.

You have believed in what ever believes and ideas you have heard and you have lost connection with Truth.

In order to re-gain connection with Truth, you have to go beyond all believes, beyond heaven and hell.

And in order to go beyond all believes, you have to silence the Mind;
Because as long as the Mind is compulsively bringing believes and ideas to your Self, you will remain un-connected with Truth.

As long as there exists ANY question within you, you have not known Truth.

The Goal of Life is to get rid of all questions;
And remember that all questions are of the Mind.

Only the Mind can question and only the Self can have the True answer.

Remember:
The Real answer to all questions is NOT of the Mind but of the Self.

All answers of the Mind are false and these will only bring more questions.

Remember:
Your True Self is not the Mind;
The Mind is only a part of your Self.

The Mind, when in search of Truth, will ask all the questions that it can ask and the final question will be:

Who Am I?

"Who Am I?" is the question that begins the journey towards your True Self.

First Mind will ask:
"What is all of this outside of me?"

Then,
When Mind has questioned everything outside of you,
the deepest question will finally come:

Who Am I?

And remember:
Only when Mind has questioned all that it can question will it question Itself,
and here you begin to move closer to your Self.

Enlightenment, Nirvana, is when Mind has asked the final question, Who Am I?
and You have answered:

I Am God.

And when you have answered the final answer, I Am God, it will not be Mind answering.

In fact:
This answer will not really be answered;
It will be known.


"Who Am I?" will be the last question because you will now be looking at the Mind from and AS the Self, instead of looking from the Mind, believing Mind to be the Self.

Here you will come to know that you are That which is watching the question happen in the Mind,
and in this moment you will know that you ARE the answer, simply because you are the Silence that answers the question, not with words, but with Knowing.

Remember this:
If the answer is to be the Real answer, the answer will not consist of any words or symbols;
If the answer is to be the Real answer, the answer will be your own Self-Realization.

And so:
The question "Who Am I?" can only be answered by You because it will take you directly to Your Self.

The question will take you from Mind - to - Pure Consciousness, Pure Awareness, Pure Silence, God.


This process of Self-Realization goes through the huge maze that the Mind is, to explore and question the whole universe, to finally get out of the maze, knowing everything that can and has to be known.

The Mind has labeled the whole universe and though the Self/God can be labeled and talked about, It can not fully/totally be expressed with words;
It can only be fully/totally known by Being It.


The question "Who Am I?" will be the final question.

Real Peace and Bliss are attained when the answer to this question is known by You and when there is no other question left in You.

In time we stand still forgetting the memories
That burden the frontier with poison and tragedy
Lest we forget that the deed had been signed
By prospectors and cowboys who’ve long since died
Aiming a loaded shell towards eradication
An idea that precedes psychopathy in terms of petition
Yet ponders so freely to children so willing to point them the barrel and fire such rounds

I urgently take the bounty for the hunting of the buffalo
Using their skulls for declination, a sturdy stronghold
Yet deep in heart I realize that it spawns back to devils
That pay only to spoil their countless fruits of survival
The cause paints our flag a brilliant blue
The blood breeds red and helps assimilate too
From their ponytails, against remorse, I could yank off their heads
And perhaps repay the herd of bison for their dead

We danced mountain songs naked under pale blue moonlight
Imitating their gestures in the style of caricature
The stars glistening, reflecting in pools of gory mucus
The rotting carcasses that attract forest vultures
Which we willingly hunt and devour without hesitance

A rack of scalps hung from the duster, cloth sodden with their fluids
Marking migration patterns on various maps to follow and stalk with
Here we sing to the villages of which we’ve burned down
Hoping that God, in His grace, could forgive such savage hounds
The calls of doves forfeit an olive branch
Which I gleefully wave just as they have
My own Trojan horse stitched together with leather
That wasn’t dried enough, and now radiates a stench that reminds us of their innards

I’ve slaughtered and mangled all over this place
Made worse by their stories of which I desecrate
Publishing such influent texts that examine the earlier beds
Of which they rose, so little prose, such daft fools with stone age tools
Crops yield only ******* food made for the feeding of the poor
Discarding the rest of them as bait or our personal ******

“I weep for the white hand that cared there for me!
To wrap me in blankets and help me to feed
The weak child in infancy cooing so sweet
Not knowing they’d have him killed in his sleep”
Annihilation fits best at the source, this genocide funded by the Master of Greater Deed and Good
The weary dead, the weary live, the weary now stay in places we couldn’t stand to be in

A gift that gives only twice, an upstart arch that cradles this land so warmly, inspiring us to embrace our homes
The promise of freedom which notions an equality we could find only in remembrance of scattered bones
The lawmen there, they never repent, they’ve lived all their lives and they never forget of their deeds, which secretly brings a perverse enjoyment none other recieve
Unless you count rapists and murderous men which tally their targets and hold out the heavy heads of victims in satchels and bags
A shame we now see them as monuments honored so swiftly, decorated with golden plaques
Please leave some flowers in the mass grave I was buried in, somewhere in Arizona, it wouldn’t hurt to sense the illusion of fresh air
A torso of tooth and rib and a dried clump of hair
Look down on your works, ye lowly, and despair!

"Caught In A Hustle"

[Verse 1]
They say the odds against me, are crooked and impossible
Like I was born with a hole in my heart is an obstacle
I was left to die by the doctors, in the Children's Hospital
But I never lose hope, success is psychological
The world is volatile and the street is my education
Shaping the nation, like the blueprint of a mason
While Shawshank record deals get you ***** on occasion
So I'm focused on my economic situation
I'm like the little kids on TV that dig through the trash
I hustle regardless of the way you talk **** and laugh
A lot of ****** drop science but they dont know the math
Because their mind is narrower than the righteous path
It's funny how on the block ****** will **** you for cash
But never raise the gun and cry out "Freedom at last"
The cold war is over but the world is still gettin colder
Atlas walking through the projects with the hood on my shoulders
I would like to raise my children to grow to be soldiers
But then the general, would decide when their life would be over
So I work hard until my personality split
Like the black panthers, into the bloods and the crips
They said I would never be ****, but now I sit and reminice
Like Yeshua ben Yusef flippin through Genesis
Ignorance is venemous, and it murders the soul
Spreading like a virus running rampant, but out of control

[Hook]
So if I should ever fall and get caught in a hustle
Let them know that I died while I fought in a struggle
From the hoodrats to the rich kids lost in a bubble
Spray painting on the streets and at the subway tunnels
Write it down and remember that we never gave in
The mind of a child is where the revolution begins
So if the solution has never been to look in yourself
How is it that you expect to find it anywhere else

[Verse 2]
Immortal Technique in the streets, back on the hustle
cause three strikes will get you life for stuffin cracks in a duffle
Upstate behind steel gates intact in the scuffle
Razor blades stuck on the side of pencils, hacked to your muscle
But the emptiness is what bleeds you to death when it cuts you
And its the lawyers, not the inmates scheming to *******
Trying to fight the system from inside, eventually corrupts you
But thats what you get when you put a corporation above you
And it's the people that love you that seem to hurt you the most
Sometimes when they die you find yourself cursing their ghost
But you make success, nobody delivers your fate
Sometimes you give and you take
Since prehistoric vertibrates, crawled out of the lakes
And thats the truth about life
Or to do it to ghetto and your car, rims, and your ice
Because even though we survived through the struggle that made us
We still look at ourselves through the eyes of people that hate us
But I'm going to make it regardless of the ******* up charges
And semi-automatic barrages, that empty the cartridge
Post-traumatically scar kids that try to be brave
Because ****** backstab each other just to try to get paid
Turn cannibal like nights during the crusades
Afraid of responsibility; addicted to greed
Beating their girls purposefully losing a seed
As if we were bound to the destiny we used to recieve

[Hook]

I used to wonder (I used to wonder) about people who don't believe in themselves
But then I saw the way that they portrayed us to everyone else
That cursed us, then only see the worst in ourselves
blind to the fact the whole time we were hurting ourselves

I used to wonder (I used to wonder) about people who don't believe in themselves
But then I saw the way that they portrayed us to everyone else
That cursed us, then only see the worst in ourselves
blind to the fact the whole time we were hurting ourselves

I used to wonder [echo]

"My Lord, why is there only one set of footprints?"

"Because, my child, sand people always walk in single file to hide their numbers."

"Tell me, have you ever known one man that never made mistakes in his entire life? Tell me?" hindi ko maiwasang hindi itanong sa kaniya ang mga salitang iyon mula sa kaibuturan ng aking puso.

Nanatili lang siyang tahimik. Wala akong makitang kahit na katiting na emosyon mula sa kaniyang mga mata. Nagawa pa nga niyang balewalain ang tanong ko. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ganoon na lamang niya ako tingnan.

"I need you to see the worst part of me and this is what I am aiming to you right now. Hindi mo ba nakikita kung gaano ako ngayon nasasaktan sa harapan mo, Rheka?"

Hindi ko gustong ilabas ang saloobin ko sa kaniya pagkat sobra akong nasasaktan sa bawat mga salitang binibitiwan ko.

"Hindi pa ba sapat ang mga nagawa kong 'perfect' things sa iyo?" muli akong nagpakawala ng tanong sa kaniya. At sa wakas ay kusang nagkaroon ng sariling isip ang kaniyang dila.

"You have everything a woman will die for, Forester. Those perfect things you showed to me; travel around the world, walking on one of the most beautiful beaches in the Pacific, eating at the most expensive restaurants, and spending time alone were not enough. We were married for 10 long years, but you have never fulfilled my lifelong wish and that's to conceive a child, Forester."

Natulala ako at naurong ang aking dila sa mga salitang lumabas sa bibig niya. Ang buong akala ko ay masayang-masaya na siya dahil lahat ng pangangailangan niya ay naibibigay ko maging ang mga luho niya ay napupunan ko.

"It is not enough to spend one day, once a week, once a month, twice or three times a year spending your time with me. They are all not enough. Hindi sa akin umiikot ang buhay mo kundi sa trabaho mo! Sampung taon, Forester! At sa sampung taong iyon ay puro ka na lamang trabaho, business appointment, at kontrata sa bawat kliyenteng naipapasa mo. Nasaan ako roon sa mga prayoridad mo?" pinilit kong huwag kumurap sa kaniyang susunod na sasabihin.

"I am ending this relationship. I'm leaving..." tinalikuran na niya ako. Napako ako sa kinatatayuan ko pero maagap kong nahawakan ang kaniyang kaliwang braso pero iwinakli niya lamang ito at nagmamadaling lumabas.

Nang unti-unti nang lumalabo ang aking paningin ay doon na bumuhos ang mga luhang kanina ko pa pinipigilan.

Ilang beses kong ipinaintindi sa kaniya mula nang maging kami at nang maging mag-asawa na siya ang prayoridad ko. Sa kaniya at para sa bubuuin naming anak ang lahat ng ginagawa ko. Hindi siya nakapaghintay.

Oo, aaminin kong may mali ako dahil kulang ang oras na inilalaan ko sa kaniya at ang kagustuhan niyang magkaroon kami ng anak ay hindi lingid sa kaalaman ko. Gustong-gusto kong sabihin iyon lahat sa kaniya, ngunit ayaw niya akong pakinggan. Sa tuwing nagkakaroon ako ng oras ay sinisigurado kong naroon ako sa tabi niya.

I have always updated her on my whereabouts and what I am doing because I don't want her to realize that she's not my priority. I even cancelled my appointment and rush into her to save her from danger.

Sinubukan kong tawagan siya nang makailang ulit hanggang sa umabot ito sa sampung missed calls pero pinapatayan niya lamang ako. I even texted her just to explain it to her, but I never recieve a response.

What else can I do? Do I have to end this?

…

After almost a week calling and texting her, I decided to go to her family house. Gabi na nang makarating ako sa kanila. Alam kong naroon lang siya. Pababa pa lang ako ng kotse nang makita kong lumabas siya at hila-hila ang malaking maleta.

"Please, Rheka. Let me explain. Mali ang iniisip **** hindi kita prayoridad... na wala ka sa prayoridad ko."

Iwinawakli niya ang mga kamay ko. Naipasok na niya sa likuran ng kotse ang bagahe niya pero hindi niya pa rin ako kinakausap.

Panay ang wakli niya sa mga kamay ko. Kitang-kita ko kung paano siya mairita.

"LEAVE ME ALONE! From now on, I want you to stay away from my life! Stay away!"

Kahit naiipit na ang mga kamay ko ng pintuan ng sasakyan ay umasa pa rin akong makikinig siya akin pero wala. Wala na akong nagawa kundi ang hayaan siya. Pinaharurot na niya ang sasakyan at ako naman ay naiwang nakatulala.

What else can I do? I was aiming at her heart to forgive me, but its like I'm shooting with a broken arrow.

I went back to my car. Tuliro at basta-basta na lamang pinaharurot ito nang mabilis. Natagpuan ko na lamang ang aking sarili na tumigil sa isang mahabang tulay. Lumabas ako at nagkaroon ng sariling pag-iisip ang aking mga paang umakyat sa tulay na iyon.

With arms wide open while tears running down my face, I jump off the bridge.

Nang unti-unting pumailalim ang katawan ko ay naaaninag ko ang isang puting liwanag na may nakakasisilaw na mga pakpak. Nang imulat ko ang aking mga mata ay naramdaman ko ang pagaspas ng dalawang pakpak sa aking likuran at ako ay inangat mula sa kailaliman ng karagatan.

--Wakas---

My big brother, big sister and I .
Fourteen ,ten and I was nine,
Cried more  tears then we ever cried.
Our mother had committed suicide.We'd already been through  qiute a bit. We were babtized that lifes one thing you  just cant quit.Our Mom committed the biggest sin.I refused to imagine which place she  was in.It was the one thing I couldnt bare.   I d  seen alot more evil then Id ever  seen of good\ We found our selves there questioning  God.My brother  bent his brow and gave a  nod. He thought a careful moment  and scratched his  head.He  then leaned in close and this is what he said, "For right now how about looking at ot like this Instead..?
You  don't have to wait till your
darkest hour. To admit to yourself
you believe in a higher power.
It's like telling white lies ,everyone
knows  we all  do it. And you know
they do it too.Don't believe me?
I can proove it to you. Proove me wrong,
I dare you to. Take this dare.  
Bowed in prayer,Be thankful for  care.
Greatful hearts for all our mercies and despair.
Be Blessed, us all,your  with the gifts we recieve.
Wealth of knowledge from lessons
in the burdens that we bare.
Our faith mirrors our existance.
A life worth living.Sharing and giving,
helping hand one good deed,
without expectation.With out even a whisper
of taking credit.An angel to guard
inpure thoughts,another for my words.
Together  both in charge of my deeds.
Provide for my essential needs.
So that I don't mistake them for my wants.
The regret that haunts.Gifts of good fortune
one never flaunts.When
we fail to fullfill.No weapon or pill
upon my own self be done.
Judging no one.
gossiping upon no one. Do not listen
nor tell Any one.No false pride
Or mask to hide.Beauty comes from
whats inside. Swallow your pride
I am forgivin. I will forgive,
because we are human. Because
we live. Give what you can give.
.No less,When the cuphas been filled
it can hold no more.We've done our best.
When in error just confess.
No man alive.Him nor I ,
has the right to choose
how either of us die. Do not lie.
When I look at him and he looks at me,
We are not consumed with greed or envy.
I refuse to be his enemy,the way  that satan
would like it to be, I have no hate in me.
Music and love, respect and honesty,
Wheather or not anyone else can see.Patience
understanding and an opened mind.And being
somebody  to believe. Being someone
whose kind.Being somebody
that somebody can trust. Be fair and be just.
Be very wary of whomever you lust.
Look down on no one unless your
helping them stand, if put in power
don't be grand.Don't let that power go to your head
Keep it in your heart instead.And every night
when you go to bed.Bow your head  and pray.
I promise if you live this way. And say this poem
every day. Unhappiness will stay away.You
will not be afraid.You  will not want for anything.
You'll be pleasantly  surprised at what each day will bring.
And everyone around you will see it too.
You will be sufficiantly sufficed. It's not  a  religion
It's called living life. It's that feeling you feel
right now inside. It  won't be denied.
It's believing in my believing in you,
It's me believing you two feel that too.
You can call it God...
You can call it whatever you to.
Call it love.It's in each of us.
This power thats greater and higher above.
But its not about religion  or going along
You know the difference betwren right and wrong .Your hard enough on yourself when the heat is on.And most imortant of anything at all if you absolutely HAVE to lie....
......look them in the brows....not in the eyes.
Amen.

‌‌  ‌
We're here
We have something like
Sixty years
To know each other
                      and to spend time together
To share laughter
To hug and cuddle
To smile
To cry
To grow up together
To learn
To recieve sun rays on our skin
                                and to drink wine
To stroll the cobblestone
To smell, see, touch, hear,
             feel
To walk
To breathe
To ride a bike
To feel tired, hungry, cheerful
To talk
To observe leaves on some
windy autumn day
To connect.
And then one day
one of us will leave this place
Empty shell of body
Like robot machine
who ran out of power,
   and shut off.
Blank, grey & hollow
Once filled with soul
That cheered and laughed and loved
Now we won't meet
for eternity
I will never get you back, ever.
And then the other one
will die
And then the Earth will die
and all of these atoms
once filled with all these stories,
life, love, meaning, hopes, thoughts,
will stray the cold, empty,
silent endless void
For eternity
And to think that we were there together
in this place & time
That we laughed, together,
kissed
Cried and missed
Held hands
Walked & planned
Ate food and drank
Looked into each other's eyes


We won't see each other for eternity.

I'm so used to getting used
I now offer myself
It's a sad thing
Very depressing
They say they need me
And I'm there
But when I need them
I never recieve an answer
I'm not the pillow you can flip over and use every night
I'm not the toothbrush you use everyday
I'm not the water that you drink
But I am me
And I should not be used like an everyday thing

Yes, words are the magic elixir
Embracing the soul,
And words turn objects into gold

Do words beat like the wings of
A restless hummingbird,
While men plot
With sharp draggers
To capture it

Words teach us valuable lessons,
Because words know how
To give and receive

Words live through every hurt,
Through every pain,
Because, they
Have no self-conscious fear
Of flight

Do words know how
To give and receive

The answer is always yes

Over the ravaged battlefield, a pall of death hung fast
I watched in silent horror, as the wounded breathed their last
The screams of bloodied soldiers, echoed down the sodden trench
As vermin ate the flesh of men, unbothered by the stench.

A drizzling rain was falling soft, as darkness slew the day
I knew my life was fading fast, so I began to pray

Oh GOD! Above in heaven, as you look down on this Hell
You see,through this black holocaust, a frightened Sentinel
The time is fast approaching Lord, when we'll meet face to face
And I'll be held accountable, for my actions in this place

No words in mitigation, can excuse the deeds I've done
I'm a product of my nation born to die upon the Somme
Before deaths bullet takes me, when I'm ordered from this hole
I beg you to forgive me and recieve my wretched Soul...

The order came along the trench ''Get ready to attack''
The cold hard hand of terror rested firmly on my back
Down along the frontline, whispered prayers of men grew quiet
While mass extermination waited out there in the night
Each brief second seemed an hour, as I saw my life flash past
Then somewhere in my reverie, the whistle blew at last

That cold hard hand of terror pushed me forward from behind
A burning rage and bloodlust closed the senses of my mind
Rifle shooting deadly sin, over no-mans land I stumbled
The dead of prior battles, in heaps around me,tumbled
A piercing war-cry on my lips, my bloodlust not yet sated
Firing blindly, all the while, the foe he grimly waited

Halfway accross hells quagmire, the flares popped overhead
Casting down an eerie glow on the living and the dead

Caught like running Ghosts of men, by those floating midnight Suns
Fodder for Deaths banquet, silhouetted for their guns
The whine of flying bullets filled the air about my ears
A smell of death, its **** and blood returned me to my fears

Realising our predicament, caught between two stools
Though Death reaped us like fresh grass, we all ran on like  fools
A bullet caught me in the chest, just below my shoulder
I fell upon the barbedwire and felt my blood grow colder
Hanging there, as life ran out, screaming for assistance
I saw myself and comrades, from what seemed a mighty distance

So adrift upon some sea, Life, winding down within me
But Oh! the manner of my Death, a very sad short story
A lad of nineteen summers, I had never loved a wife
Nor done the things I dreamed I'd do in the young days of my life....

My nation called ''We Need You Son'' in nineteen and fourteen
And preached of War and Battle as a bright and shining dream
With words like, Honour, Glory, Pride........ Bravery and Duty
Beguiled my generation by painting Death as beauty....

A message from the government explaining my sad tale
My poor beloved family will soon get in the Mail
Telling lies of sacrifice for our nations worthy cause
BUT NOT RELATING,HOW I DIED OF GOVERNMENTAL FLAWS.....


Written on October 5/2005.. Copyright.Eamonn O'Dowd.

‌‌  ‌
We're here
We have something like
Sixty years
To know each other
                      and to spend time together
To share laughter
To hug and cuddle
To smile
To cry
To grow up together
To learn
To recieve sun rays on our skin
                                and to drink wine
To stroll the cobblestone
To smell, see, touch, hear,
             feel
To walk
To breathe
To ride a bike
To feel tired, hungry, cheerful
To talk
To observe leaves on some
windy autumn day
To connect
And then one day
one of us will leave this place
Empty shell of body
Like robot machine
who ran out of power,
   and shut off.
Blank, grey & hollow
Once filled with soul
That cheered and laughed and loved
Now we won't meet
for eternity
I will never get you back, ever.
And then the other one
will die
And then the Earth will die
and all of these atoms
once filled with all these stories,
life, love, sense, hopes, thoughts,
will stray the cold, empty,
silent endless void
For eternity
And to think that we were there together
in this place & time
That we laughed, together,
kissed
Cried and missed
Held hands
Walked & planned
Ate food and drank
Looked into each other's eyes


We won't see each other for eternity.

I had to call and concieve inter
Or I had to receive and be a intern
To concern about my contacts
Let me call and join the concerts

I've picked on all those Christmas sweaters
and the letters we recieve
I've written about Santa and the Angels
and the things we all believe

But, I have never ever written
About the food we choose to eat
I've never picked on Christmas Turkey
and all the other kinds of meat

At our house for our Christmas dinner
We'd get turkey, maybe duck
It was always something different
And it wasn't just to save a buck

One year we sat down to dinner
something different every year
we had pig, goat and chicken
and one year we sat down to deer

Birds of every sort have fed us
We've eaten things I can't describe
But, with every meal we drink a little
to **** the taste, we must imbibe

One year we had some seafood
Drumsticks there to be had by all
Octopus, was on the menu
It fell off a truck back in the fall

To tell the truth , a Christmas Turkey
Is not something that we get
I love the surprise at the table
Eating what we've not had yet

What we get, our dad runs over
most times squirrel or a deer
We get more food when he's been drinking
So we always send him out with beer

I know that we once had rabbit
Thought it could have been a cat
Another Christmas Dinner surprise
And that is all I'll say on that...

Merry Christmas...enjoy your turkey

She’s one girl no guy can get out of their mind
The one girl that’ll make any boy step out of line
Just by looking at her I can tell she’s different from any mortal
She has the power to go up and turn a cold heart really fertile
She strips on exotic clothing everytime she goes out
You know she’s the woman that all the guys talk about
Recently I found her name, it’s Tiffany
You can tell she dosen’t need sympathy
She looks like a bad girl by the way she smokes a blunt
The way she seduces men, gonna make you struck dumb
She’s a ***** woman but plays innocent when she’s with men
You can easily see why many boys want her as a girlfriend


If I had a shot at her I’d ask for romance
While most guys want to get in her pants
She’ll make your skin shiver by the touch of her flesh
The most exotic and permiscious girl that I ever met
The kind of girl that will make your heart stop
Just being in her presence will mean a whole lot
You see her hang out with more men than girls
As girls get mad when she really rocks men’s world
To a lot of girls here, she’s only known as a ***** or a ****
In reality they’re jealous because they wish they had her ****
So their man will actually charish them all day
Instead of worrying about taking their man away
Her bright blue eyes are hypnotizing wheels
She’s an ****** princess that’s how I feel
Any guy can fall victim to her intense lust
The desire to know who she is is a must


No doubt her looks can attract any man
A fact that most girls can’t understand
In pictures she actually reminds me of a supermodel
Even when she constantly chugs down beer bottles
Constantly showing off her g-string to please guys
She’s even got me hooked on her I’m not gonna lie
Rumor is she sleeps with ten guys a night
As men will just **** to have her in their sight
Just win her affection they will go and fight
It’s hard to ignore that she dresses real naughty
Every night she always has a guy inside her body
She says she’s not a ***** but she only dresses like one
But the way she shows her breast gets a lot of guys stunned


A little coconut as she only stands at five foot four
She gave you action in bed you’d begging for more
**** straight she loves to party, she don’t want you to judge her
A true statement that nothing in this world can be taken from her
She’s a total sucker for R&B; and hip-hop
There’s no way you can get her to stop
Well it’s true almost any guy can get a shot at her
Just hope your attempts don’t send her to laughter
Sometimes she’ll go by the nickname “Baby Girl”
The moment she touches you your blood will curl
Don’t let her pretty face fool ya’ she rolls like the boss
Guys will say that in the bedroom she dosen’t play soft


If you give her some liquor she’ll go off the wall
She’s so energetic she won’t leave you appauled
She’ll turn the dance floor in the club into her own nasty world
She’ll give you so much action it’ll be too much for you to endure
She loves Spongebob and Marilyn Monroe
And yet she denies that she’s ever a **’
On myspace she has five thousand friends
And most of them on that friend list are men
Blue eyed bombshell taking over the room
A blonde ******* bunny is what you assume
Four out of five doctors say that she’s insane
So you can say that she’s far away from lame


She’s every guy’s new obsession
She can get you out of depression
Her upper legs will easily remind you of thunder thighs
Can’t take your eyes off them you know you can’t lie
You can never wake up without an overdoes of her
It’s pratically impossible for anybody to just shun her
Anyone can get lost in her eyes
Finding no exit inside her sight
You don’t know but she’s got you on lock
Not being in her presence is really a frock
Makes your heart fizzle when she calls you honey
She says to every guy dosen’t that sound funny?


She can easily lead you on
And give you what you want
But don’t expect to keep her because she’ll just slip away
Not that hard to tell girls like her will go and not actually stay
So charish the moment while it last
Chances are that she’ll move on fast
Everyday she’s with a different guy
Had tweleve boyfirends, not a lie
She’s like a bomb getting ready to explode
As the most exotic girl that is ever known
Guys will just **** all to feel her sweet kisses
But no one wants to be a victim of her disses
Having her is like having a trophy that’s hard to find
No doubt that she’s gonna stuck inside a guy’s mind


She can easily be mistaken for a member of *******
Boys are struck dumb by the way that she shows her smile
No man alive can resist her temptations
She turns you down you’ll feel devastation
Some guys just want her for the respect
Other guys just want her for her ***
Hotter than a stripper what do you expect?


It wasn’t too long before she met her perfect match
Soon she found a man who gave her the right romance
A man who will love her for who she was
Turns out she really did find her only one
She ended up marrying him at a wedding chapel
The fact that she was taken left many guys baffled
The girl of their dreams was swept away
This caused a lot of guys a lot of pain
Now all they can do is imagine being with her
While her man’s able to go up and kiss her
Other guys consider her man the luckiest man on earth
Because she left other guys who want her really hurt


Then she gives birth to his child and they became a family
Now you know her and her man will be forever happy and dandy
She loves him to death what do you expect?
From her he’s the only guy that’ll recieve ***
Now men have to find another girl to chase after
As her life is forever away from any type of disater

And I suppose that it is funny,
in a macabre sort of way
how we all forget the tale of Prometheus.
He who thought to bring gods level with men,
with a simple gift.
Yet his gift was one with no equal.
He gave mankind fire, that in turn gave us life,
and with life comes love, compassion, humanity.
But what did he recieve in return?
Thanks to his act of love
for his adopted progeny,
Prometheus was chained to a rock, destined
to die once every day.
His instestines,
set to be disgested by an eagle once a day.
His pain unrivaled,
for his original sin shed
light on our existence.
And for this, we write no songs,
we hold dear no poems,
we hallow no ground.
His flames gave birth to us,
and here we are,
choking on our own arrogance and hate.
So I suppose, that
in a sense Prometheus was the first nice guy,
who finished last.
Because being the Prometheus,
means there shall be no songs sung of you,
no poems written for you,
and you will be eclipsed by others.
Your deeds will go unloved,
your accolades will go unnoticed.
The world is a mean place,
and however cruel it is,
sometimes being and doing right
gets you nowhere.

Morning message లా  నా  ధరి  చేరవే .
Wakeup call లా  నన్ను  wish చేయవే .
Breakfast time లో  నాకు  పెద్ద  break ఇవ్వవే .
missed calls లా  నన్ను  miss అవ్వకే .
Lunch call లా  lovely గా  recieve చెసుకుంటానే  .
Busy hour లో  కూడా  నీతో  busy  గా  ఉంటానే .
Supper call తో  నిన్ను  surprise   చేయాలే .
Night minutes తో  night అంతా  మాట్లాడాలే .
Good night message  లా  నిన్ను  గుర్తుచేసుకుంటానే   .
Total గా  నా  cell అంత  నీ  number తో  నిండాలే   మరి  .

I asked for more,
And so I received.

This accursed war,
With the loves I bleed.

The endless tome,
Detailing endless seas,
of loves,
that will tease and tease.

The dreams of which I dream,
Sing me the songs of a desperate ease,
With which I fell into the spell.

Infatuation,
The boiling swell.
This passion's disease.
My subtle hell.

Heavenly visions of the loves I'd once held,
Turn to these disquieting reminders of the pains I've once felt.

I'd asked for more,
But so I received.

Bring an end to this everlasting taunt and tease.
and grant me this reprieve.

Then,
I may, one day,
Be allowed to sleep.

You sought me out, ignore the rest;
Sharing unwrapped and unmarked gifts
whenever you needed to be touched.
Creating moments so beautiful
So cunningly.
So impersonal, yet needy like a pup.
Loving only to survive,
Until I fell in love.

Come, Autumn, on September wings
     Come, the quixotic aura this season brings
Welcome, the golden harvest, and its plentiful reap
     Welcome, turning of the foliage, falling to paint
     golden streets
Transpire, crisp air, with your sway in timber tops
     Befall us, pumpkin skies, where the sun drops
Betide to me, the lull and composure from you,
     calmest breeze
     Make yourself known, won't you please?
Recieve gladly, the crackling of fire beneath a silver
     moon
     Embrace the little things, for they will go away
     soon
Welcome, fall, the enigmatic emotion as the season
     starts
     Welcome fall, with open hands and blithe hearts
Come, Autumn, with the romantic feelings you stir
     Come Autumn, I hope to be lost in the ambience
     that is her

You are essential
Like water that needs to hydrate dry bodies
And nourish growing trees.
I need you like the earth needs the sun
And how the moon needs the earth
And how humanity needs oxygen.
I thirst for you
Like a carnivore thirsts for blood
Or how she thirsts for pulls
Of cheap ***** on Monday nights.
You are the droplet of water running down the car window
As I look outside I barely see you
For I am mesmerized by the lights and the charisma
Of night.
Eventually as the sun begins to rise,
Waking the earth with her essential light
I notice you resting on the window.
My hands are very dry,
So I roll down the window
And rest my hand outside
Feeling the cool drops of you
Quench my need for love
That I feel I'll never fully
Receive.

I love baseball.
The smell of the grass, the crack of the bat, the pop of ball hitting mitt.
I love baseball.
The friendship, the camaraderie, the seed shells littering the ground.
I love baseball.
From behind home plate, to the on deck circle, to the bullpen in right center field.
I love the fist bumps I recieve, entering the dug out after a well placed sac-bunt.
I love the hollers and cheers when the ball flies over the fence.
I love seeing the other players and knowing they love the same things as me.
Standing on the top step of the dug out, impatiently waiting for my spot in the lineup.
I love watching my shortstop tag out runner after runner.
I love my pitcher hitting his spots and I love our left fielder diving for pop flies.
I love catching and blocking ***** in the dirt.
I love the bruises I find on my body after every game.
I love keeping my foot on home plate before throwing over to first on a double play.
I love seeing the lights and hearing the cheers, knowing they're for me, my team, my sport.
I love baseball.