I don't speak my thoughts, I only write them down,
Only because I can't speak out loud.
When I speak, I stutter, or barely make a sound.
-speaks my thoughts-
"I don't like that."
"No, you're right. I'm sorry."
Break me down for I am broken but I've been built up again.
Your strong force has held me up through the storms and the wind.
It's been a terrible hurricane season and I'm glad the sun decided to come out.
Oh love, you are mistaken, you are the sun itself.
You're the fortress that surrounds me,
You're the thing that's keeping me around.
Run me over because I'm falling and I'm not sure where I'll land.
My heart has been cut out of my body and has been placed gently in your hands.
Oh love, you are the world.
I would not harm you and if I could,
I'd set myself on fire just to feel your pain too.
Trace the outlines of my hands on your back,
Take me with you when you leave.
I want to be the whisper in your ears,
I want to be the wind blowing in your hair.
Follow my footsteps when I go home so you can follow me to my bed,
Take off my clothes and explore the fields inside my heart.
Take off your shoes and stay the night
I need you by my side.
Oh love, you may not know it but I am a fool for your eyes.
The way you smile reminds me of warm summer forests,
I could explore it for hours on end.
I love you,
I'd tell you I love you but I'm not sure if it will hurt me,
To open up like a window and let all the insects fly in once again.
For it took a while to get them out.
I do not like the chemicals from the fumigation,
And I surely don't like having these organisms inside of me.
But there is something about this weather we're having that is very tempting.
I feel myself letting go of all fears and inhibitions,
I feel myself opening my windows.
So if I let you in I know you will hurt me,
And if you come inside I know I might hurt you.
I might close the window while you are still flying in,
Snap you in half and nearly **** you,
But I at least let half of you inside.
You are the sliver of navy blue in my crimson and golden colored sky.
You might not be very noticeable, but without you the sunset would not be complete, and I could not properly transfer it onto a canvas.
You are the warm sun on a fresh spring afternoon.
I don't particularly like spring, but the glimmer of light is enough to put a smile on my face, and it may even make my day a bit brighter.
You are the mint after a cigarette.
Small, refreshing, and relieving.
You are the warm breath on soft skin,
The goodbye after a long day,
The hug you've long desired.
You are the sunrise, **** the sunset.
You're new and exciting.
You are the first droplet of rain.
You are the mistakes, the compromise, and the solutions all in one.
You are promising.
You are possibly the most magical thing I have ever seen.
You are possibly what I need.
There are things that **** us,
like cigarettes, bad food, and deodorants
But we still abuse them and take advantage of their existence.
There are things that help us,
Like parents, fitness, friends, and lovers
But they'll still **** us anyways.
Life is not life without death by its side and I'm not sure if I'll ever figure out why.
And if I **** myself with my tar filled lungs and tendencies to eat terrible things on the weekends,
Then so be it.
While you sit there and eat all of your organic greens and go to the gym three times a week,
You'll die just like the rest of us.
We all have things in common, things that bind us and things that blind us,
So why is it that our way to die is what defines us?
I tried watering a plant to find it was already dead
She spoke to god but found out his voice was only in her head
I cut my hair in hopes of reinventing my appearance
She sliced her wrists in hopes of losing her existence
I sang songs to the ocean hoping someone would hear me
She tied a rope around her neck trying to set herself free
I washed my hands in hopes of making them clean
She often wonders what it's like to be buried 6 feet deep
The thing about death is that it's always on our minds,
It's just a matter who's ready for it and who's wishing for more time.
The snow can't hide your ashes
It can only bury them if you smoke the night before
So if I smoke in the morning, it's going to show.
I tried using it as an ashtray,
But the evidence was visible.
I felt bad for tainting the beautiful white glow.
I fell in love with the landscape,
Even more so when it was covered in white.
I fell in love with you face,
Even though I don't know where it's been.
I fell in love with the footsteps,
Walking to where I stand.
I fell in love with the rooftops,
And the people who let go.
So if I use my lungs as an ashtray,
I know my body is covered in snow.
I can use perfume to cover the evidence,
But only time will let me know
If this morning cigarette was worth it.
If the messages were worth it,
I'll probably never know.
So if you see my reflection,
In those snow covered hills,
Just remember it when my face was white and pure like the freshly fallen snow.
I can't keep falling
For people and landscapes,
But I can keep trying
If my lungs can withstand it.
So take my voice and remember it
For all that it was.
Take my heart and keep it
Away from the cold.
"landslide" by fleetwood mac inspired this