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Gutter Grimer Oct 2018
I wake up smelling of you
And it's all I can do
Not to slip inside that dream again
The one where warm honey flows
Between our lips, our hips
Pressed together in time
Justified in every motion
Sweat pools between torsos
As a glimmer bounces
Surfaces in your cold room
The moon is long gone
And we radiate as we share stares
Intense like the day that has just begun
Although my sunshine has been
Beside me all along
Gemma Jun 2018
I've noticed something -
Maybe you're not as loving as I thought you were .
Once filled with passion
But overdosed on self obsession,
There's a new reason in every lie you've told.
Your smile was contagious
So sweet but so dangerous
Had me fixated on a person that I needed to let go .
Is it bad that I miss missing you ?
Pagan Paul May 2017
.
So here I am once more, in the playground of the broken hearts.
One more experience, one more entry in a diary self-penned.
Yet another emotional suicide,
overdosed on sentiment and pride.
To late to say I love you, to late to re-stage the play.
Abandoning the relics in my playground of yesterday'.



The first words you killed me with.
The first Script to make me cry.
The opening song on a plate of sorrow.
The opening sight of my Poets eye.

Your words soaked my childlike mind
as I lost on the roundabouts and swings.
The Jester stands with violin and quill,
composing tears on his broken strings.

I sat and chewed those daffodils
and I still struggle to answer why.
I grew up and left that playground
but its the place where my heart died.

I never did write that love song either,
My words just never seemed to flow.
The martyrs twisted smile haunts me,
my Harlequins head dreams in sorrow.

The game is over.
The game is over.

© Pagan Paul (22/05/17)
.
*First verse from the title track of 'Script for a Jesters Tear' by Marillion.
First heard this song when I was 14, I always wondered why Fish's lyrics spoke so deep with me. I only understood when I started to write poetry.
The album is their first, and the first of a trilogy that also includes Fugazi and Misplaced Childhood.
I am the Harlequin. PPx
.
French rose Nov 2018
The way your lips touch mine
Your fingers underneath my skirt
My moan muffled in your mouth
Taken to your room by my mind
Naked exposed buried in lust
I cried take whatever you want in dire need of your love
Inside he went and I cried desire ate my thoughts I wanted him no I needed him thrusting in rythm called art
I overdosed on love
tayarose Sep 2018
It's been 3 years since you been gone
3 years I've lost the sound of your voice
February 11th marks the day you overdosed
On that day i can't ever rejoice
Even though your in a higher place
on that day i'm always paler then a ghost
when I see your face

3 years a lot has changed
A lot of people are switching lanes
I Just wish you was still here ridin with me
My ride or die but you died without me
Don't feel no shame
your not to to blame
the world is at guilt here
I apologize for every wrong word
every wrong move I've made
3 years since you been gone
In 3 years I've learned to use my heart less.
If you judge me based on race
You are blind to my inner grace
Overwhelming beauty
which gives me inner peace
I overdosed on selflove and confidence  
So your ignorance
holds no place in my presence
I suggest you have a dance with my intelligence
Which can outlast your ignorance
Giving it no room to impact my race
Alexa Apr 20
Someone
out there
doesn't have a mom.

You say "Everyone has a mom".
Well, get this.

Someone's mother
was born in the 70's,
with bipolar disorder.
Quite the disaster.
This was before
people knew how to address
things like that,
so instead it was
hidden away.

Someone's mother
turned to drugs
to make herself feel okay
but it didn't really turn out that way.
By the time she was 22
she had two daughters,
but no source of stability.

Someone's mother
overdosed one (two? three?)too many times
and got arrested for
possession of illegal drugs.

Someone's mother
had to sing
"You Are My Sunshine"
with her hand up to glass,
instead of with her hand
in her daughter's.

Someone
forgot to give their mother
one last hug
goodbye.

Someone's mother's
last OD
resulted in laying
on a couch for
three days.
Alone.
Someone's mother
went into
a coma.

Someone
was told
to say goodbye
to her mother,
and said
"She can't hear me.
Why should I say goodbye
if she can't hear me?"

Someone
was without a mother
at 11 years old.

Someone
had a sister that stole
*** from her mother.

Someone
grew up
not really knowing
what was going on.

Someone
out there
doesn't have a mom.
This poem is my science teacher's story. "Someone" is my science teacher. I wrote this poem to help gain the perspective that I have. That not every child grows up in the loving home that they deserve to grow up in. But you kind of need to hear the story in person, surrounded by a class of crying people to feel it.
David May 23
As I
tasted
and swallowed
the
unforgettable
moonlight
on your
lips.
The only
thing
that was
going to
cool us
down this night
was a
good
ol' fashion
rain storm
at 4am' ish.


And then
quite easily I...

I,

overdosed
on your kiss
and the
movement
of
your hips.

I would
love if,
you somehow
'happened'
again.

And...

You wowed me
once again
with your
gumdrop nips
and the
dynamite
that you
call lips.


written by me... ..
You know what I am talking about fellas.
We all had her.
Randy Johnson Jun 23
Just one month ago, you were walking around.  
But now you're dead and buried in the ground.
So much can change in just the blink of an eye.
You went too soon, forty-eight was too young to die.
Forty years ago in 1979, we became friends.
I wish that your life hadn't come to an end.
On the 3rd day of June, you took your final breath.
You overdosed on drugs and it caused your death.
Because you were a drug user, you didn't survive.
Drugs eventually ****, that's why you're no longer alive.
DEDICATED TO JOHN W. BROWN (1970-2019) WHO DIED ON JUNE 3, 2019.
SameHell Feb 1
I believe everyone has rain,
Everyone has pain.
Everyone has sun,
Everyone has fun.

Everyone has a rainbow,
but mine is lacking color.
Everyone has a rainbow,
just like every other.

Red and orange, green then blue.
Yet all I have is gray, hardly a view.
Every one has a leprechaun, to send them aces of clubs,
mine must be quite dead, or overdosed on drugs.

Either way he is as absent as white is to gray,
he ignores the shine of the light from day.
He hides under the moon,
then laughs when I meet my doom.

Here I am as dead as my leprechaun's soul,
I'm filled with hate, because he lacked control.
No luck? Well ****. I couldn't care less.
Now I raise a rainbow, I am a leprechaun, I won't bless.

I guide someone over their life,
just because I can, I'll lead them to misery and strife.
As my leprechaun led me to the end of my rainbow without color.
I will do the same, ruin her pretty reflection, exactly like every other.
To all of those who feel as if they have been ******* over....
Number 13 in Story Of Our Lives
Hope Weber Feb 2
your touch against my skin, those late nights sneaking out.
oh how I miss you.
your breath against my body.
your hands rubbing against my thighs. oh how you tease me.
oh how I miss you.
those soft lips against mine.
then you whispered into my ear how you loved me.
oh how you broke my heart.
oh how I did it all to feed on your hunger.
those late nights together oh how I miss those.
but you broke me.
you used me.
did you mean those words "I love you"
or was I just another girl because you weren't another guy to me.
you were my drug and I overdosed on you.
oh how I miss you.
Percocet
*******
Xanax
OxyNEO

And god knows what else.
You keep telling me “I’m not high I swear! I’m just tired”
But your lips are tinged blue, you have saliva in the creases of your mouth, your body is frail and sickly looking, your skin so white it’s almost transparent. Your eyes are swollen, glossy, and gaunt, your cheeks are sunken, your hair is tangled and unwashed.

“I’m not high I swear!”

But I don’t believe you. How many times have you said that to me only to confess later that you were, that you found a pill and didn’t have the self control not to take it.

“I’m not high I swear”

Yet you randomly smack your head, blurt out random words and nonsense, forget entire conversations, fall asleep mid sentence.

You said you were clean. But the very next day I get a call telling me that you’ve been arrested for a DUI, you had Xanax and Oxyneos in your toxicology report.

I’m afraid to answer my phone when it rings, I always fear it will be the call that tells me you’ve overdosed.

You said “I don’t need to go to rehab, I can quit myself”
But if that were true, you’d be clean by now. It’s been over a year since you told me you were addicted to pills.
At first it was just a perc or two, and now you are a full blown opioid abuser.

You’ve become the thing you hated most. An addict that can’t admit that they have a problem.

“Im not high I swear”

I can’t count how many times you’ve said that, how many times you lied to my face. So many times I never want to hear those words come out of your mouth again.
But I know I will, and I know I’ll go home and cry after and pray to god you wake up tomorrow.

I just want my best friend back, the kind and honest loving girl you use to be.
I’m tired of the you you’ve become.
The girl that lies, that steals, that is wasting away.

If only you never took that first pill.
Addiction steals everything.
A L I C E Feb 17
I’m scared to be at home
To say in this house
With or without people there
I’m scared to be in my own room
Scared to lay in bed
Or sit at my desk
Or even sit on my carpet
I’m scared because my room it’s like a whole different world
A world of triggers and flashbacks
A world of “your never good enough “
And worthlessness
A world of self harm and depression
A world of anorexia and anxiety
And not to forget the suicidal thoughts
But the thing is I spend more time in my room then I do breathing..
This room has been painted over and over with torturing memories
It’s been coated in with blood that has been purposely slit open from my self-destruction
I’ve tried paining over it all with white paint what we call smiles but I always see the blood stain on my hands
Scars that have been placed for a Enturnity
When I look at my bed
I don’t see the wall handing place on the wall
I don’t see my grey fluffy throwover or
My polaroid photo blanket
Or my pillows
Or the comfort of sleeping
I see it as a torture chamber
A place I overdosed on
A place I felt scars
A place that I slept on but yet still felt tired
A place where I would stave myself
A place were I cried and cried
A place full of bad memories
When I look at my desk
I don’t see a place where homework should be done
I don’t see decorations
I don’t see paper
I don’t see photos of friends
I don’t see my calendar
I see giving up  
I see a place hiding places for blades
I see new suicide notes
I see lonelyness because friends don’t seem like friends anymore
I see another day of hell of trying not to eat and survive without killing myself
I see a place where I would open blades
I see calorie counts
I see left over food
I see old tissues of blood
Over the years everything that was sad turned numb
All sad music didn’t feel sad anymore
I’ve learnt that you can dead while still living
Your not dead when your heart has stop
Your dead when your heart beat has no meaning

Like mine..
.. </3
ehxpen Nov 2018
i took the chance and overdosed,
you were a trip i had to take,
and just for all times sake,
i knew it would be magical

ehx
kiera Aug 2018
Help me
My battery’s low
Please help me
I’m feeling kinda slow

See I don’t wanna open my eyes anymore
Don’t wanna see the light anymore
Just wanna turn over not even let my feet touch the floor
I just don’t wanna get up anymore

You see the hours pass by
I wish I could reverse the time
I really don’t know why
Why I’m sad all the time
I just know my time’s ticking away and time’s the one thing you can’t get back or return
You either use it or waste it
Worse than money

Anxiety
Sadness
I try to send someone a text but then I’m left with regret
You're so close to being braindead
Just get out of your head
Live like you’re normal

But I’m not I’m not normal
I’m me
And people see me not the person I want to be ‘cause I’m not even close to liking the person I see in the mirror
I don’t wanna eat
Or sleep
Or drink
Or think
I wanna be the person someone sees and thinks
“What an amazing person.”

But I’m not
I’m not anything close
I mess up everything I try to do it’s overdosed
Overdosed in emotions
Underdosed in expressions
Underestimated in all of my intentions

But maybe true in some of my aspirations

I’ll never be the person I want to be
I can’t show it for fear
I can’t live it ‘cause my tears keep crying I keep whining I’m not doing anything to try and get out of bed anymore
Someday you might find me dead on the floor

No
I have to erase that
Can’t think like that
See, I’m trying not to be like that
Making an effort typing instead of going outside like my mother’s liking

I’m a ***** that’s all I am, that’s what my dad says
Waste my life in another’s because
I’m such a bad friend
Don’t know who I am, but when I do I can’t express it
Don’t wanna be me, and when I am I’m so depressive

Just ready to see the day I get to be who I am
Maybe I can just roll over
Hope my dreams keep me sober
It's true what they say
You know?

Loneliness is one hell of a drug.

A drug I've overdosed on far too many nights.

It doesn't **** you though,
No it can't physically
Make your heart stop beating.

But feel too much of it,
And you'll wish that it did.
Randy Johnson Jun 18
My stepson was doing **** and had red dots on his face.
I told him that I don't allow drug users to live at my place.
I immediately knew he was doing **** because of the red dots.
He lied when he said that he had the measles, I knew he did not.
My ex-wife said if her son wasn't welcome in my home, neither was she.
She thought that her son's drug use wasn't a big deal and she left me.
But now she agrees that it was stupid when her son did ****.
Last month, he overdosed and it caused his untimely death.
What I'm about to say isn't a lie, it is real.
Please say no to drugs because drugs ****.
It’s been a while since I’ve heard from you, even longer since I’ve seen you,
And although I miss you I’m glad you’re not around,

I’m relieved my phones not ringing at three am, cause every time I thought it’d be someone telling me your body has been found,

My heart breaks every time I see a recent photo of you, the sunken cheeks, the dark circles under your eyes,
Every time I think of how you’ve hurt your body, with every pill that touched your mouth came another string of lies,

I can’t stand the person you’ve become,
I wonder how something so tiny could bring along so much pain,
What Id give to wash away all your sins with a little bit of rain,

The last time you were at my house you promised you were clean,
But your words were slurred, and I could tell reality was less serene,

You fell asleep on my bed within minutes of arriving, I desperately wanted to believe that you were just tired, that this was a result of a year long battle finally won,

I told you I was proud of you,that I loved you, sent you on your way, but in my heart I knew, this war wasn’t done,

Two days later your aunt flushed a bag of pills down the toilet while you cried in the garage,
She gave you your life savings and told you to get lost,
Not because she doesn’t love you, but because she’s tired of the lies,
She doesn’t want to see the child she raised, slowly die in front of her eyes,

That day I knew I’d truly lost my best friend,
You’re living on borrowed time,
I pray every day that you overcome this,
All while knowing it’s close to the end,
If only the judge had ordered you into rehab when you got that DUI,
Maybe then we’d be celebrating your 90 days,
Instead of drying our eyes,

Opioids stole our friendship,
Please don’t let it steal your life,
I don’t have room in my closet for another black dress,
I don’t have room in my heart to fit the grief of another overdosed friend,
Please if there is a god, send her a helping hand,
Because I’ve tried everything I can think of to keep her from ending up in your land,
And honestly I think you have enough angels right now,
don’t take her from us yet,
I promise we will make it up some how,
And lord if you can lend us strength while you’re at it I’d appreciate the gesture,
I don’t know if I can take another broken promise or another “ I don’t need to go to rehab lecture”,

If only getting clean was as easy popping pills,
If only loving someone with an addiction didn’t leave me with constant chills,
If you’d have told me that by my mid 20’s half my friends would be dead or dying,
I’d have rolled my eyes and told you to stop lying,
But I guess we are all dying- you’re just dying faster than I am.
loving people with addiction is hard.
Emeka Mokeme Oct 2018
Naked and afraid,
a street outlaw,
a social *****,
an outcast
and yet still wanted
for a season,
and for a reason,
not a kept woman,
not capable of
loving anyone
wandering and roaming
the back alleys,
in search of immoral
fulfillment.
Lonely and alone,
tired most times,
drunk and abandoned,
overloaded and overdosed
with narcotics just to forget  
and get on with life.
Yet struggles to survive,
always in a mess,
a menace even to herself.
Living a life chosen by few,
dreaded by the faint hearted.
It was not like this before,
how did she get here.
She said it's not her fault,
society created her
out of rejection,
molded her to be a
monster she didn't deserve,
then blame her for being
who she turned out to be.
She lost her true self,
lost her identity and
hides behind her pain.
She cries in the dark where
no one will  see her.
She suffers alone when
caught in the hands of the law.
All she ever wanted
was for you to love her.
I asked why,
why do people step into ****
and expect to come out
covered with roses.
Let's help clean her up,
she wants to survive
for she deserves more.
Give her a better life
a lot better than this.
She is your sister,
maybe your daughter,
a relative or an aunt.
In your sphere of contact,
do whatever you can,
in any way necessary
and humanly possible to help,
each one reach one.
©2018,Emeka Mokeme. All Rights Reserved.
Worthless Apr 21
I hate my generation, I really do, like seriously, I’m too scared to even go the school, I have to face the rumors, the looks, and the name calling. Why? Because how our generation works, you do something that’s bad like date a older guy or have ***, it’s already being told, and it’s spreading almost like a virus or a disease. You’re scared because you might get bullied and you don’t want to be that kid who got bullied so bad, they ended their life, but we act like we don’t care when really we all know it isn’t right. You see scars on kids’s wrists and to the adults, they think it’s a trend, when really it’s not. I’m so tired, I just wanna sleep cause I hate the world I woke up in. To us kids, teens and even adults, what’s wrong with us? When we see a big girl, we think fat, the skinny ones are know as anorexic, when you hear a girl lost her virginity, she’s now a ****? Or to that girl who still hasn’t slept in the same bed as a guy is known as ***** or to the quiet kids in the background that don’t speak even when they are supposed to are considered rude. Or to those who talk nonstop because maybe for once they want someone to listen and of course they are the annoying ones. Today now all kids think is being pretty is fantastic or being skinny is a blessing. But the ones that aren’t, they fall into depression, I seen on the news that a nine year old girl committed suicide because she felt that was the answer to her dad’s drinking problem, another reporter said that a 14 year old boy went and shot up his school because in his friends eyes, having a gun and shooting things for fun was now cool. I still remember a girls boyfriend was shot in that school because she posted it on her Snapchat story but little did that boy know was that she was a player, she had five to six guys hitting her line, thinking “Man, I’m luck she’s mine.” But one of her boy toys found out and he’s heartbroken, he know cuts, drink alcohol until his memory is erased like he did to their messages and he shot up the ****** in his arm, and he’s disappointed in himself knowing that he turned to drugs. He hates himself for being so foolish and thinking he was her only one. He’s now cold and heartless like a doll or this plastic figures you see in the malls, he now constantly have headphones in, all the way up to have everyone disappear. But as he was walking across the street, he didn’t notice the car driving towards him, neither did the driver because they were too busy texting. The reporter said that when the police pulled the guy out of the car, he still had the phone in his hand. That guy’s wife just wished he was still here again. She cries as she sitting next to the kid that he hit, they boy is in a coma and they nurses and doctors think he’s brain dead. Soon enough she hears gun shots, the police hurried over the where it was but they weren’t on time, a little girl is dead while her dad is holding her in his hands, he had to pay the price of beating up on of the members on the gang because they ***** his wife. The dad even heard they shot a boy for his Jordans because they couldn’t afford them so they just stole them instead, they were known for being so cold that they ***** a boy only 16 in front of his whole family because they heard he was ***, and killed a girl because she had a baby on the way, one of them had ***** her and she didn’t want a abortion, she wanted a kid of her own and she loved it with all her life because she knew she would be the only parent in that baby’s life. They even forced a kid to take drugs, he overdosed and died. The mom was sad and the dad was mad about what happened to their little joy of life. The cops think they were constantly armed because racism says that their black skin is a weapon. It’s fun being black or acting black but it’s really not. Kids wanna have respect on their streets, have their pants hang down so low, and talk **** because if they have a gun in their hands, they are considered safe. They want to be a legend because legends never die, but really they are always be the first in that wooden box. Legends are the one that dies but their legacy is the one that lives on, not their life but they never learn. Our society is picking people off one by one until there’s nobody left. I hope I’m soon because I don’t wanna live in this killing mess. My time will come and soon and when it does I’ll say goodbye. And leave behind my 13 reasons why, but I just wanna say to all the ones who never left my side, I love you and thank you for trying to make everything alright. I will see you soon in heaven and we will smile together while the sun in the sky is shining brighter than ever.
Our generation and society is like this, it’s not a opinion it’s a fact.
Alyssa Brianne Oct 2018
We were fifteen
Writing stories in our skin with long nails and steak knives
Girls in my friend group would starve themselves for fun
My girlfriend used to tell me that she overdosed
Just to see how I would react

Sometimes I’m surprised we’re all still living
Maybe not alive but not dead either
I still spend most of my nights crying
Growing up is funny like that

At twenty I question how any of us made it through highschool
My old friends survive off of little pink pills and Smirnoff
You could drink ***** out of their collar bones
I can see the sadness in their bones, visible through translucent skin
How were we better off at fifteen

I still can’t smell blood without wanting to throw up
Jagged skin makes me nostalgic for a love I never should’ve had
Whenever I see a tombstone I think of him

At seventeen a teacher asked what I wanted to be
How badly I wanted to say happy
I never imagined I’d make it past eighteen
Supa Dec 2018
They call me evil
I’m Superman’s little punching bag
Golden Eye’s shooting range
Anyone look at it from my view
Suicide Squad was a joke
It didn’t represent the struggle of a villian
The struggle of my life
And everything around it
Let’s start with a story
I was a crack baby on the street
Momma shooted ****** 10 inches deep
She overdosed when I was 13
And my daddy was a good man
But I was messed up
He paid for my school
But I was hit and bullied
Cried to my dad but he didn’t care
He left me in the streets when I was 17
Why’d you do that old man
He couldn’t handle me and all my problems
So he ran away
Every job, every college
Turned me down like an illegal
Like I committed some sort of crime
I learned technology myself
Sometimes stealing books from the local library
That is how my evil started
But all my knowledge on tech accumulated
Until I was something more bigger than myself
I stole parts from the tech store
I trained myself to be a kung fu demigod
With a side of overpowered
And a pinch of passion
I built a robot
And my goal was to get revenge
On the people who doubted me
And all the people who hated me
And destroy them all
I killed them
Every owner
Every bully
I squashed with my robot
And then those heroes came along
At the peak of my hour
And that is when my head was out of the clouds
And it came back to reality
I presented my case
But they wouldn’t listen
So now I am here
In state prison
This is the villians view
The side of story no one sees
Every wonder the villians side of the story?
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