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I called him around midnight asking him to come over
I said I don't mean to bother you but I'm feeling blue and
we don't need to have *** but I need some kind of human touch
before I go insane
He didn't hesitate and he was at my door by 12:15
I opened that door so quick I thought I was losing it
I wrapped my arms around him and he held me tight
I took in his scent and closed my eyes
and as his hands gently caressed my back
I felt all of my anxiety melt away
I didn't want him to let go of me
I wanted him to stay
We laid on my bed our legs intertwined as we were face to face
I was in my underwear and t-shirt
he was in his jeans but I could feel that he wanted me
I asked him "do you want to have *** with me?"
He put his left hand on my face and said
"I won't lie
I absolutely want to have *** with you right now
but that's not all I want
I want to wake up and make you coffee as you sleep in
but it's my bed I want you to wake up in every morning
I want to walk on the beach as the sun sets like we sometimes do
but I want to be able to hold your hand and tell you how beautiful
I think you look when the wind forces your hair to be out of your face
I want to argue with you when you're being irrational
and when you tell me to leave I'll say no because I don't run away
from what I truly want even when things get difficult
I want to kiss you in the rain
and hold you in my arms while we watch movies on the couch
I want to be able to tell you each and every day how incredible
I think you are even though you don't think so
and one day I'd like to give you my last name so I can spend
the rest of my life making you laugh and smile
If I can't have any of that with you
then I don't want to have *** with you"
I looked at him then kissed him on the lips at 4:05 am
it felt like the most natural thing in the world
I didn't feel scared, doubtful or insecure
I felt safe, confident and in love
I turned over and put his arm around my waist
I told him how I liked my coffee
and as he snuggled closer to me
I could feel the smile on his face
WRITTEN BY:Amanda Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: May. 26, 2019 Sunday 10:45 pm
I missed you
I know that we haven't spoken in awhile
and that's my fault
When my soul is in agony
I have a tendency to lock myself away from the world
because I fear that my emotional pain
is too much for anyone to handle
That's not how it used to be with us though
When I was sad I came to you
You would hold your arms out wide
as I fell into them
You would hold me as I cried against your shoulder
When my arms were stained red from bleeding
after tearing up my arms with a razor
you were there to wrap my arms in bandages
and you would kiss my wounds as if
kissing them would make them disappear
I told you my deepest secrets
and you've kept every one
I shared with you my darkest thoughts
and you never grew afraid of me
You loved me when my stomach was hungry
because I refused to eat when I thought 145
pounds was too fat
I was rotting away in every way possible
yet you managed to breathe life into me every time
I remember when I first told you I wanted to **** myself
you took my hand and squeezed it hard
You reminded me that the air I was breathing was a gift
and to never take it for granted
You found me when I was broken
You shared my journey and hit rock bottom
every time I did too
When I was too angry to talk to you
you never got upset
You waited patiently for me to come to my senses
We spent every moment together
You were my life line at one point
but as time went on and I got better
we began to drift apart
Everyday conversations turned into every other day
which turned into every other week
and eventually into every other month
Then a year passed and we didn't speak once
I felt guilty about it
but I felt like I didn't need you anymore
I thought the universe brought us together
because it knew I was in pain
I had no one to turn to
and you gave me everything
I knew how to love you in sadness
but no clue how to love you in happiness
I missed you to the point I felt lost
as if a part of me had died
Then in the blink of an eye on a great Sunny day
I found you waiting for me
with a big smile on your face
I ran up to you and took your hand
and my heart immediately knew
that through the good times and the bad times
I was meant to be with you
As I sit here writing this out
tears are slowly streaming down my face
It feels so good to share with you everything I feel
as if we were back in that place
that walk in closet in the house on 28th street
where 12 years ago you found me
I fell in love with the greatest thing on earth
I fell in love with writing poetry
WRITTEN BY: Amanda Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: March. 14, 2019 Thursday 4:49 PM
I'm going to tell you something that I feel
is the most important thing I can tell anybody
You are more than good enough
I know people are tired of hearing me say it
but I will never stop until it's imprinted so deeply in your mind
it almost becomes the only thing you can think about
You are good enough
You are beautiful
You are handsome
You have a heart of gold
The love you have deep inside you is not a curse
You have a purpose on this earth
Your life matters
It more than matters it is needed
You were created to fulfill a purpose on this earth
and anyone you meet on your journey through life
that can't grasp how incredibly amazing you are
then they got to go
They serve no purpose for you
You deserve to be seen
You deserve to be heard
You deserve to be complimented
You deserve to be cared for
You deserve to be respected
You deserve to be acknowledged
You deserve to be loved
If you are constantly giving to the point
you're beginning to feel empty
then something needs to change
You deserve to be treated with the same compassion
you give out to other people
You don't need to beg for it
You're not a bad person because you want to be treated
like you matter
You are not a bad person for wanting to be loved
and treated like greatness
It doesn't have to be from someone romantic
If someone cares for you they will never cause you
to question where you stand in any of your relationships
be it family, friendship or romantic
Hear me again
and if it makes you feel uncomfortable good
It's clear you don't hear this enough
and that needs to change starting today
You are important
You matter
You deserve love
You don't have to change who you are
for people to accept you
The people who truly respect you
are never going to try to change you
You deserve to be around people
who make you feel great about yourself
all of the time
You are enough
You are enough
WRITTEN BY: Amanda Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: February. 18, 2019 Monday 6: 06 PM
He is troubled
He is in love with a woman he believes
is too far out of reach
All he has to do is reach out
and she will gladly take his hand in hers
He watches her from afar
and every time she smiles his heart
skips so many beats to the point it hurts
He adores the way she sips her coffee
as if it's the best thing she's ever tasted
He wants to change that
by making her fall in love with his kisses
He loves the way she tells stories
meant to be five minutes long
She always gets distracted by another memory
and he doesn't mind it at all
He likes how he feels when he's around her
he doesn't have to be anyone other than himself
He can let down his walls
and nothing else matters
He watches her put on her jacket
and he wants to be the one to keep her warm
He wants to take her in his arms
and never let her go
He wants the sound of her voice
to never leave his ears
He wants to keep her laughing so hard that
she has no choice but to fall against his shoulder
and when she does he will get goosebumps
from her touch and he won't mind at all
He is in love with this woman
He wants her or no one at all
WRITTEN BY: Amanda Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: February. 8, 2019 Friday 3:26 AM
I've been doing some thinking
and I've come to the decision
that it's time I let you go
We broke apart a long time ago
We tried to fix what was broken
but we can't
We are not a good match
We only continue to disappoint each other
instead of make each other proud
You are so convinced that you are unworthy to be loved
and the more I love you
the more I get hurt because you push me away every time
I can't make you accept my love
I can't open your eyes and force you to see
that everything you want is standing right in front of you
I can't keep loving someone
who clearly doesn't love me back
I thought with time apart
we would get a better understanding of what went wrong
so maybe we could mend things
The truth is we outgrew each other
I wanted more
you wanted less
I saw you as the most wonderful human being
one could lay their eyes on
you saw me as not good enough
I loved you passionately
you loved me enough to put a smile on my face
then fear crept in and told you all of the reasons
it wouldn't work out and you listened
I'd like to think we're meant to be
My soul has never collided with another's
so perfectly it was like magic
No one has ever saw into the depths of me
and chose to stay
and love the parts of me that never knew love
Maybe in the future we are different
I won't love so intensely
and you won't be so intimidated
by the fact that someone loves you
without ulterior motive
Maybe over time we will find our way back to each other
but until then I have to let you go
I love you with every piece of my existence
I promise you that will never change
WRITTEN BY: Amanda Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: January. 31, 2019 Thursday 2:55 AM
Stop sabotaging your own happiness
Stop coming up with reasons as to why
you're not worthy to be with a man
who loves you
Stop allowing a few hours without a text from him
to convince you that he's running around on you
when really he is probably at the store purchasing groceries
he needs for a dinner he wants to make for you later
Stop letting sad relationship and "how a real man should be"
quotes on social media cause you to rethink your relationship
and label it as imperfect
Stop allowing outside opinions pressure you
into making decisions in your relationship you know
you don't need to make
If you have a concern
tell the man you're with
A man can't fix a problem
if he is not aware of it
Choose to communicate your feelings
instead of hiding them away
A man who truly loves you will want to hear
what you have to say regardless of how ridiculous
you think it may sound to you
He won't find you ridiculous
He may find you silly
but he will want to quiet your insecurities
Stop comparing your relationship
to other relationships
Every couple is different
Every couple loves differently
If you feel you are not getting certain needs met
again communicate with your partner
Stop thinking not hearing "I love you"
every ten minutes is a sign he doesn't love you
He tells you he does constantly
in the little things you overlook
When he makes your coffee just right
When he buys you a gift for no reason
When he compliments you
When he makes you laugh
When he let's you pick dinner
When he holds the door open for you
When he encourages you
When he hugs you before leaving the house
When he quotes a line from your favorite movie
just to see you smile
When he shows kindness to your family
When he covers you up at night before you go to sleep
and kisses you in the morning before you
had the chance of brushing your teeth
These are all expressions of his love for you
It's nice to hear the words "I love you"
and he will say them
but actions speak louder than words
A man won't do something he doesn't want to do
they can be stubborn but when it comes to the one
that he loves he will move mountains for her
Stop allowing your insecurities
to steal your joy
You are allowed to be loved
You are allowed to be adored
You are allowed to be admired
and not every man is a lying
emotionally abusive *******
There are still decent men in this world
and if you find one who wants to love you
even on your bad days then appreciate him
Don't try to change him
Let him show you how a woman should be loved
because I guarantee you nothing makes him want to
get out of bed faster than the thought of getting to love you
all day every day
Stop sabotaging your own happiness
Be happy
You deserve it
WRITTEN BY: Amanda Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: January. 26, 2019 Saturday 9:23 PM
Another night without you
lying here wishing I had you next to me
Another star goes by
I make a wish and hope with all my heart
it comes true
I've never wanted anything or anyone
as badly as I want you
I know that I'm probably not on your mind
but you're on mine all the **** time
If you ever feel alone
if you feel your world coming undone
Don't ever think for a second
that nobody loves you
If you're doubting your existence
don't let your mind tell you that you don't matter
Someone out there wants you to know
how special you are
In case you were wondering
that person is me
If I could give you anything
I'd give out my heart
I'd give you the moon
the stars
even heaven itself
I love you so much
in case you were wondering
WRITTEN BY: Amanda Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: January. 23, 2019 Wednesday 4:45 PM
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