Knuckles white...
I held on
As long as I could
Sweaty palms
Gripping the corpse
Of our love
As if I could squeeze
Life back into it.
I tried my best.
Failed.
Then let go.

I knew the exact moment
That I died.
Watching 14 palm fronds sway in the wind of dusk
Peering through a 5 inch opening
Of black and gold
Striped curtains
From the 3rd floor window of a motel shared with someone who would never know me.
In that moment I hated you.

All along my heart did love thee
And thougb I never did thee wrong
Thy mind was resigned to hate me
And still I loved thee all along.

When I see your face my heart twists
And wrings the tears out of my eyes.

I still feel the tug of the fibers on my heart
The ones that grew us together and kept us close
Despite everything.
I can't seem to detach myself from you.
It doesn't feel even partly good when I try.
Why would I want to anyway?
I still have conversations with you in my head.
Still imagine your eyes looking over your readers at me.
Still replay everytime you felt vulnerable enough to cry.
The love I feel is one of greatness.,
That once in a lifetime love few find.
I will be forever grateful I had it with you, if even for a short time.
With those fibers I will keep you forever close.
With those fibers I will still feel your love and send you mine.

How is it that the days get longer
Yet shorter be the years?
Just how does a very old memory
Bring about brand new tears?
Why do some things never dissipate;
Others? .....always vapor be?
How do we blindly move along,
And yet stall when we can see?
How dare the moon eclipse the sun,
When it's the sun that outs the moon?
Why does some sadness stay so long,
While joy always leaves too soon?

He had a way of turning white to black
And contaminating the pure
A smile up front, a stab to the back
Making certainty so unsure

He could turn the future into the past
Find coincidence out of fate
Promise a forever that would not last
And turn a great love into hate

With him there were no losers or winners
There was only the weak and strong
Saw his sins as less than sinners
Was always right and never wrong.