she is sunrises
and sunsets;
she is music
and melodies;
she is poetry in coffeeshops
and our sweaty palms clasped together
in the car on backroads at night.
she is shy laughter
and movie marathons.
she is the reason
I can't stop writing.
she is all of these things,
but she is not mine.

*–w.b.h. // i never learned how to define you

still talking to myself
on the tin can telephone
if i shouted any louder
my tongue would be a semaphore
im getting nowhere faster
than a paraplegic tortuga
tortuously touring
a mini minotaur in its mystic maze
running marathons before the bulls
hit all the china plates
youve placed in every possible avenue
of escape

“You’ve been treating it like a summer home; vacant, drafty, neglected; and yet you expect it to be in top working order whenever you decide to honor it with your presence”, she scolds.

“But I must inhabit the bustling city, my first home, if I am to survive the marathons of days of disembodied vigilance.” I protest. “Why don’t you just leave me alone?”

“You don’t get it,” she expectorates, eyes narrowing and finger wagging.
“I’m just the messenger, telling you something you already know.”

I try pleading.
“Why must you scream so loud? Can’t you give me more time?
Surely we can make a deal.”

“There are no shortcuts,”
she responds, firm yet kind.
“I should know. I’ve traveled all the way from the end of the line, up your nerves and into your synapses. You have no choice but to climb down from your high tower, through your neck, beyond your shoulders, past your liver, kidneys and hips, to fingers, legs, and toes. Be with them, or they will keep sending me after you, as your benevolent warden.”

I blink, pedaling fruitlessly through the couscous
holding back unwanted questions
yet anticipating a Scroogian epiphany

What am I willing to give up
to be rid of her?

Should I offer my ambition as hush money?

Or do the back taxes pour in faster than my legs can kick?

Frozen pizza & cheese,
ska, movie marathons
these foolish things they remind me
of you, as the song goes

remember that January night
when we lay down on the snow-covered grass
under the lights of Potzdamer Platz
to make snow angels

by the Brandenburger Gate
in a city no longer divided
or living on a tightrope
but living for each breath

In amidst the crisp coldness
we could smell spring
waiting patiently in the air
& it was almost time for our train

we talked of our M&Ms;
a code word just for them
two brothers we loved
bound by this crush

like sisters
not knowing we weren't
to be friends
for much longer

you counted the stars
the stars which were countless
like all the times
I've thought of you since

These last three years have been a prime example
of why not to fall in love,
because it takes too many months to piece your heart back together
after it has been beaten to death by a boy
with pretty brown eyes and charming words.

But if I could promise myself anything,
it would be that the next time I let another touch my lips
they will have to jump high fences and run marathons
before they earn that right.
The next time I let someone hold my hand
I want a five page essay on their theories of love
and a detailed description on how not to break a heart.
When another boy whispers sweet things into my open ears,
I will hook him up to a lie detector
and wait to see his lies.

Because the next time I trip and fall into love,
it'll be forever.
The next time I feel like dragging a blade across my wrists,
I'll kiss your lips instead.
When I feel like putting a rope around my neck
and hanging myself out to dry,
I'll pick up the phone and let you whisper sweet words into my ear.
The next time I have a bottle of pills staring me down after midnight,
I'll grad your hand and let you take me away.
When I feel lost or let down or like I've reached the end of my already short rope,
I'll turn to you.

I fell in love with the idea of love it's self

Your deception hidden behind that smile

Smooth talk and irrelevant lures blinded me from seeing what others perceived

My anxieties vanished when those misleading lips of yours pressed against mine

Once letton go i knew all I heard where lies

To be honest, You're the only one I've ever spent this much time and effort on

Endless marathons of movies
Late night dinners
Our 3 am conversations
Weekeneds spent getting to know each others families
Silent afternoon walks

I was convinced you and you alone would make me happy
I was convinced we where meant to last because you promised me
I was convinced I couldn't let you go because than you'll let your self go

But you dug your hole deeper
You took my second chance for granite
Controlling me because you thought I would keep on following
You believed I would chase after you like any other girl

Little did you know I'm really "not like other girls"
I'm a strong independent women
I don't cry over a man
I don't beg him to stay and I sure as hell don't let him walk all over me

You know you’ll never finish a marathon
just by running your mouth

Today we have ambitions like birthday candles
once a year, a glimmer of hope,
a spark of life when we shout to the stars
our resolutions that will save us from this pollution
of lies until—
the wax melts and morphs into the frosting
we eat it all the same,
we are none the wiser,
but I’m tired of eating cake that tastes like ****

*******
is becoming our best man
and maid of honor
the only thing
tying the rings
around the fingers of our college lovers
and praying that this promise, for once,
won’t be broken
like our hearts in high school
like our bones in middle school
like our crayons in pre-school

Sticks and stones may break my bones
but words taught me a new kind of pain
words were the threads that I weaved into my childhood quilts—
every “goodnight,” every “sleep tight,” every “I love you”

so when those threads were unraveled
by the claws of divorce
and I was tangled in a tattered quilt of promises
I forgot how to sleep at night

I tried stealing words from sweet boys with gold eyes
just to patch up my quilt
yet every thread of their tongue
disintegrated to dust

But real strength cannot be found words
"goodnight" means nothing until I begin to dream
"sleep tight" is empty until I am enveloped in silky seams
"I love you" is a check that has not been cashed until your lips
meet my forehead
and you close the door gently behind you
because you don’t want to wake me

We’ll never win marathons just by running our mouths
we have to pick up our feet
stretch out our toes
and move.

I'd rather keep running this imaginary marathon going
Because the pulse just keeps getting stronger
And i don't get this feeling often
So i'd rather keep up with you until the moments notice
Forget about the tropes that keep us on the rope
I gave the Television all the soap it wanted
Now it's running it's operas
And i'm running the marathon
For something
For something i'm unsure of
For someone?
Whatever it is, it's better than Keeping Up With The Kardashians.
TV rots your brain
I favor going against the grain
No offense guys
But keeping up in Marathons is much healthier
The water companies will thank you
Why should they not?
Thanks for not letting me rot
Whatever it is
Whoever you are
I'd keep up with you.

Your mouth does brutal things to my heart,
and your eyes do awful things to my mind,
and your hands do agonizing things to my lungs.

And I know it's because I've given up.
That mind over matter has fallen away
and you're more there now
than you ever were when I was looking for you.

I wanted to know what you tasted like
in the morning
after you got home from work
at night before bed.

I wanted to know what you want to name your kids
if you want a lot of kids
or none at all
if you'll take them to Disney
or send them to space camp.

I wanted to know what you thought about everything
the republican party
the ******* Jeopardy! last night
the New York Yankees
the color yellow.

I wanted to know what songs make you feel like crying
like dancing
like wishing on stars
like staying with me forever.

I only wanted to know if you liked music
or drawing
or reading
or playing basketball
or watching old movies.

I wanted to find out if you liked cats
or dogs
or children
or parties
or board games
or sitcoms
or Chinese food
or
or
or..

My mind races because I realize I've imagined you.
My heart thumps and shatters because I see
you're not the person I thought you were,
not the person I created.

I wanted to know you.

I only wanted to know you.

And now you'll never know me.

You'll never know that I like dogs
and green tea
and laughing
and hanging Christmas lights
and cooking
and Gone With the Wind marathons.

You'll never know that I planned our wedding
named our children
picked out curtains for our kitchen
planned our first trip to the mountains
decided what to get your mom for Christmas.

And even if I created you
my perfect you
my flawed you
my funny, out of order, lost on the interstate version of you,
I fell for you.

I'll never know if you'd rather go dancing or stay in.
And you'll never know that I'd swim the ocean to hold your hand.

No.
No matter what,
you'll never know
how much I loved you.

Docter Pepper
- Barbie marathons
- Micro-wave Pizza's
- The cold ravioli you hated
That unfinnished basement was like a home...
- The crawl space under your bed
- The sims
- Doctor Phil
- Mansy ***** bands
- Plans for Highschool
     - And Warped Tour
Crying was okay...
- Pepsi
- Locking me out of my I-pod
-Sharing weird two A.M. thoughts
- Panic attacks
- Dumb boys
And I bet gullible is still on the celling.

*Remember that moment when everything was perfect?

Sometimes I wonder what freedom feels like.
What fresh air feels like in my lungs.
What a "good day" truly feels like.

But then sometimes I wonder what it would be like to not have fears.*
To not be cripppled by anxiety over the thought of being around people.
To not have thoughts running marathons in my head.

And then sometimes I wonder what life would be like without the pain of depression.
What it feels like to be okay.
**What normal feels like.

when i think about you
i think about how my heart tried to hit the brakes
throw my anatomy into neutral
calm
contained
but you crashed me into a meadow
where dandelions rest upon my collarbones
and roses grow inside my atria
i think about how i would use the ash from your cigarette
and trace the veins on your arms
trying to make a map
so i’d never go off track
so my fingers could run marathons on your ribs
so my fingers could tie your heartstrings in knots
in hopes the feeling would never leave
i think about how when you say you love me
my mind grows heavy with ‘what-ifs’
‘for how long’
and ‘what about him’
but when i look into your eyes
and i see us
diving in and out of your aqueous humor
ripping the retina from the walls and making our own colors
i know who i am
i know who i need to be
i think about how making love with you
turns my body into a wave
frequency high enough to shatter the chandeliers
the chandeliers that reflect you back to me
the chandeliers that sway with each breath we take
when i think about you
i think about the best parts of this world
the love and the hope
and how i wish to experience all of these
with you
hand in hand
driving past the meadow
refusing to step on the brakes

She sings from her wrist
And watches in marvel as the lyrics flow from her
Pulsing to her own personal beat
And with each opening, she harmonizes
Creating a chorus of voices
To drown out the ones in her head

It’s beautiful, artistic, natural
It’s filled with emotion that she bottles
And she lets it bubble forth
In red notes on soft, fleshy paper
Her thoughts finally able to find a release
Through something sharp and physical

Because her own voice is broken
Hidden, under a mountain of lies
And drowned under a sea of promises long forgotten
Devoured by a nightmare of regrets
And threatened by mistrust
She sew her mouth shut

And she covers her hands over her ears,
Stubbornly, as I try my hardest
To let my own melody slip in
Intermingle, and rearrange
to something softer, calmer
to sooth those painful voices screaming from her skin

I try to sing louder, she has to hear
It has to reach her, it must
Through late nights and dawnless mornings
Through adrenaline filled marathons home
And patient rantings to burst through the stitches
I want to quell the tempest of her mind

But my voice is growing raspy
Each song burning my throat raw
To where I can only manage a whisper
And once again I can’t be heard
And her ensemble crescendos full force
A fortissimo against my pianissimo

And I can only beg for those hands
To become weary and slip from their vice grip,
From her determination to not listen
To hear my quiet humming, because that’s all I can do
And hope that happiness will take her by the hand
And have her dancing to my quiet tune.

With a broken Hallelujah,
I sang you to sleep;
And at your wake,
Eulogized the many marathons
That you ran to find yourself,
Or scurried haphazardly,
After the self that you struggled to keep.

You know I waited for you,
Up on that mountain top?
While you searched tirelessly,
Almost desperately,
For that pin drop silence,
In the midst of all the cacophony.

By: Lulwama K. Mulalu

To November,
Thanks a bunch
for reminding us,
that the letting go
is the only way to make roads
for new blooms!

Every November I felt something new. November is full of change, nothing remains the same as before!

Acceptance: Somewhere in the month of November, I met a new person who changed me inside out..!! Embraced me with love, gave the warmth in those chilly days. We spent moments with happiness and shared our fears in the night sky, witnessing clouds uncovering the moon. Dreamt of good things, peace, and a bucket full of love. And November turned out as a happy month to me! No matter how much I tried but memories kept coming back, making me blush every single time..!!

Togetherness: Time passed really very fast, Again November came! I remember, spending days like never, contemplating each other’s hearts. Aimless drives, messed up schedules, movie marathons, street foods, and open bottles of beers. I found a home in him, a home of love with no limits and no worries. We promised to step together, holding hands in November, and to hang out till the November dissolves! And yesss we did...few Happy Novembers!

Separation: And then a few years later a day in November came with lots of new feelings..! Feeling of abandonment and betrayal just like dull and dark days. Crying in freezing night under that large yellow full moon but this time all alone! It felt cold, even the stars were extra cold to me; lights were so dim that paths were invisible. My heart was aching, and my trust was dissolved. I was miserable and pitiful! Always lost and struggling in the memories of past and present!

Learning: And now it’s again November I see blooming flowers and sometimes butterflies..! Red, Pale, Blue, Pink and White flowers. And it doesn’t feel like cold/dry or happy month to me!  and as I see he got engaged so, probably a month for him too!  Now I see November as the month of change and new hopes. This November taught me no matter how dry the weather is but you have to keep blooming, And I have realized that not everything is worthy of you! If something feels like a burden to you, just remove them and make some space for new dreams. And that’s the only way!!

You're too far gone,
so I guess it's the end
and I'll quit holding on.

A wise man once said,
"You only lose
what You cling to."

Heartbreak has existed ever since
the world has been turning-
for so long, for so many breaks.

Mine may mean nothing.
It may be forgotten with time,
as time heals all wounds.

As I yearn for the times
where that will be true,
I lay awake late to think.

I think of many things,
including a new break-
Who will he be? And why will he be mine?

Even a new break would be...
well kinder than You,
because You forgot.

You forgot how we talked-
about shows and shopping,
and a silly thing called Dubstep.

You forgot how we bonded-
over church and annoyances,
but never about pain, that's saved for now.

You forgot how we acted-
the stolen looks and the obvious smiles,
and the awkward us.

That was the beauty in all of this-
I was awkward,
and so were You.

That was the irony in all of this-
I was smart,
and You were... not.

That was the fun in all of this-
we could have been perfect,
You and I.

We could have had those marathons,
and dressed up on Halloween,
and gone to those movies.

You could have played guitar,
and I could have been breathless,
and written a thousand words.

You could have taught me to skateboard,
and I could have taught You math,
among so many other things.

The things I would have done for You,
The girl I wanted to be for You,
You have no idea what You caused.

The feelings I felt for the old You
were like nothing before
and nothing since.

You messed me up, even broke me.
I can no longer talk to anyone
other than You.

You don't want me,
but no one else can have me.
How is that fair?

So I am scared.
Scared that I fell to hard, to young
and that only time can heal this girl.

I was never the girl to think
that all the guys must like me,
quite the opposite.

But with You it was different.
With You I knew.
You had to have liked me.

At some point in our short story,
You decided I was beautiful-
I was worth it.

At some point in our short story,
You forgot I was perfect-
I was unwanted.

I will not say I am here crying,
because I am not.
I am wallowing.

The thing is- I'm tired of wallowing.
I want time to give me a remote
so I can fast-forward to the healing.

I am tired
of falling again and again,
over and over.

I fall for your smile each time,
I fall for those blue eyes,
as much as I wish to fall into beautiful water.

I fall for your wierdness,
I fall for your awkwardness,
I fell for You.

Then
You
Changed.

So do me one favor.
Please clean up your life.
You could be perfect once again.

I see You now,
and really I'm not mad,
only disappointed.

Not just in us, but in You.
The You that could have been,
I'm afraid he might be long gone.

I always thought pain
brought people together,
as something to cling to as they fell.

But pain, I believe,
was what drew us apart-
separate pains at the wrong time.

I had my troubles and fears,
and though You stayed silent,
I know You did too.

I saw it on your face,
but time only made it clearer,
Not healed.

They say time heals all wounds.
So maybe, just maybe,
it can heal You as well.

But what if I am wrong?
What if time will heal nothing?
Only open the soul to more of the dark.

I desperately hope I am right
and time will heal both
me and You.

I know what they think.
How could I wish You the best
after the breaks You caused?

My friends see smoke
when they see You.
They only want the best for me.

And the best is no longer You.
I still wish You everything
regardless of the eye rolls.

Because it's true, maybe Someday
Time will end,
And we'll see each other again.

Promise me that You
will have your guitar,
that the nights will not rob You.

Promise me that You
will still have your taste in shows,
that the 'friends' will not rob You.

Promise me that You
will still have your skateboard,
that the pain will not rob You.

Because pain should not come
like a thief cloaked in black
ready to plunder.

Instead it should come
before the healing,
after time.

Well we woke up in this relationship
And now i find that I'm talking ****
About myself and the things i feel
Because i don't know what's right or what's real
I only run sprints, not marathons
And you keep saying, "girl, what are you ON"
Because i never get tired of hanging with you
But I'm always so scared that you'll see that I'm too
Too crazy too weird too much to handle
One bad day and I'm off the handle
But hey i dont care if you believe me or not
Cuz I think you're cute and i like you a lot.

uh my clan be ***** as the Taliban
with illegal contraband
got more heat than desert stand
one man stand on the mic
i rock im as hard as a ****
in between a ***** legs
gettin' ready to knock
ya out with flows i expose
the industry closed
once yosef pours
out the blessin got me foes guessin no stressin
**** and henney sessions
new lessons
daily sip irish creme baily
they cant play me but pay me
listen to styles p or bump biggie
or maybe 2 p a c
host aks at birthdays
im al caponin' it runnin' ****
like diarrhea
yall just need ta
sit the **** back while i count benjamins stacks
which be
in bundle king of the hip hop jungle
and im
going to **** puffie diddy
He soft as a nestle cookie
Make mysteries
no rookies
cant play with me in this deadly game
lite a match for the flame
burn the fame
infamous is how i keep it man
hol up


I see the hate excite of the critics
Gimmicks leave with they headsplitted
And backs more open than parachute
From the guns that shoot 21 salute
Dont ya know im soldier
I keep glocks hot as folgers
In ya cup i interrupt the scene
Once i puff red hair greens
Ya drivin a limousine
N ill throw grenade in ya sunroof
And watch it land inbetween
Ya legs
So ya can blow ya own head
Get it naw forget
All i see is yellow tapes chalks
And you being admitted
To the hospital in critical
Condition no intermission
All ya memory left is ya see is my face
Im like the son of man
Leavin competition running
Marathons cuz im the biggest don
They call me the Holy one
Cuz of the way my guns
Put holes in one
The rawest spit flawless
Talk **** we'll leave ya jawless
Throw ya remains in the death valley
With the rest of the restless carcass
Facing eternal darkness what???

I lay, alone in my closet of unused black dresses
Awaiting the dark blue cool sky to greet me
Staring at the ceiling, attempting to cry out for help
Alone is all I know, the wooden doors divide me from
The burning acids of the unknown, the outside scares me
Blood tears roll down my cheeks
Clumping, carrying a timeline of glass shards in the alley.

I lay, alone in my closet of fading yellow splattered ceiling
That pretty crystal raised to my eye to clearly see
Beauty that was on the other side, guarding me
An old friend I’ve missed for so long, dear absolute satisfaction
Assurance and safety of only when I am ready
Hologram glittered tears roll down my chin
I am a raw human,  and my surroundings, animated sketches.

I lay, alone in my closet, when You sat by a wall between us
Somehow, you knew the magic words to my poorly built tree house
And cupped in arms that always knew, me, this surrendered rag doll
Poorly stuffed with ***** cotton and trinkets
You rinsed out my stains and replaced loose buttons
Pink painted tears roll down into my pores, invade my veins
And for an instant, for a short pause in all that ever was, stood a small child with flowered braids.

If a poet falls in love with you,
bear this in mind:
they will find libraries in your smile,
and endless pages within the color of your eyes.
They will spend sleepless nights
searching for better synonyms and metaphors
with which to describe you.
They will carefully choose their words,
turn you into beautiful art,
and write of how the heart
that beats inside your chest
synchronizes perfectly with their own.
Whether you know it or not,
you will be running marathons in their mind,
you will build a house inside their thoughts to live in,
and you will drive poetry out of them
with one miniscule glance.

Tightness invades
Hard
Aching
Ghoulish Blackness smothers joy
Strings of dark energies crawl
Hopelessness Penetrates down, down, down
Mind marathons madness music
Pain ripens like a withered rose
Physical Plane Arduous
Psychic Pain Perpetuated
In this hallowed Hell

I felt your breath and smoke like
adjacent trains.

------------

I lost my heart in the war between
what took place in normal Syrian towns
(just like the ones I learned how to read in
and the ones I danced through your hair like
asymmetrically curling waves in,
and the ones where
I saw love die like a
half-lit cigarette still burning)
and  
what your skin looked like when the wind blew off the sheets so softly that mice could have ran marathons-
where shrouded shadows cleared vision like your cornfields of tightening nerves,
forever unwinding mine.

It was hiding in between your teeth and all of the other places that were too brightly shaded for me to sun-tan under,
where
you are sixteen acres of magnolia trees donning the darkest leaves that forests will ever see,

and we mirror each other's company so tragically.

----------

Inside,
your fireplace warmed our souls like
Phish Food
and whatever chemical reactions occur when love overpowers self-loathing.

Imagine not having you by my side
missing
50 summers
200 coffee dates
500 movie marathons
1000 sleepless nights
and 2000000 I love you's

All of this can be rounded up
but it'll never sum up
the misery I have to endure
that constantly aches every moment
as the clocks ticks further
to my last minute,
getting to spend an eternity without you
and will forever be dreaming of a lifetime
that it didn't end.

You are far.
Like mars far.
Like from the couch to the kitchen far.
Like end of the check-out line far.
Like you're next to me but we aren't talking far.
Like "but my phone charger is upstairs" far.
Like 4900 miles far.
Like six hours and three flight changes far.
Like a fifteen hour drive far.
Like international texting rates far.
Like impossibly far.
Like "the concert is a whole week away" far.
Like 204 marathons far.
Like country roads far.
Like "where is the nearest gas station" far.
Like commercial break far.
Like Canada far.

Pathetic.
That’s what I’d call you.
Just plain miserable
and manipulative.
You tricked me into giving you the world .
Deceived me into believing that you’d never do me *****
You blinded me by your lies
“Forget about them , you have me.”
But , I didn’t really have you ..
Did I ?
You took what you wanted .
You let me put you before myself .
But ?
I don’t even blame you .
Maybe if I would’ve been in your position ,
Being offered the world
And only being asked for friendship in return ..
Maybe then I would’ve robbed you of your trust .
And your love .

You were my best friend .
My ace ,
My platonic soulmate .
And I treated you as much .
But, what was I ?
To you ,
What was I ?
A personal tutor ?
Remember those last two essays that you just couldn’t get done ?
Who helped you ?
Who stayed up after an exhausting day at work ,
After having to bike home in the cold and rain ?
Just so you could pass and not worry.
Maybe , I was just a free ride .
Always taking you places ,
Always giving you the keys and letting you do whatever.
You filled the tank maybe twice
within a nine month period .
And I never once said anything .
Oh I got it , I was your ATM.
Whenever you needed money ,
I was glad to help .
Whether it was for an Uber so you could go to your volleyball tournament
Since your own “mother” couldn’t take you
Or whether it was for a Plan B because
YIKES
Your boyfriend didn’t know how to pull out .
Hm , I guess I was also a personal shopper .
Buying you clothes when I bought me some .
You didn’t wanna spend your money ?
That was fine .
I would spend mine
And you didn’t even have to ask.
I was everything except your friend
and that’s all I wanted to be .

I should’ve seen this coming .
I should have KNOWN .
Looking back
All I can see are the signs ,
Foreshadowing what was to come .
You started to change right in front of my own eyes
but I didn’t want to believe it .
Didn’t want to believe what I could clearly see .
You started to ignore me .
For days on end .
Living in the same house became something like a
Silent war .
Everyone against me .
Including you .
You started to disappear into your room .
There were no more lifetime movie marathons together .
No more staying up and goofing around together .
No more talking about any and everything together .
I lost you way before I knew I lost you
and that makes my heart ache
like a pre-existing bruise
getting hit over and over again .

Rainbows that appear out of nowhere
Cozy sweatshirts
Hot chocolate on a cold winter night
Musicals so good they give you chills
Movie marathons
Books that make you cry, make you feel
“I miss you” texts
Laughing so hard you can’t breathe
Pens that are full of ink
The smell of pancakes
A baby’s grin when you pinch it’s cheeks
Teachers who make their class enjoyable
Inside jokes that you laugh about for years afterward
Smiles from that specific person
Butterflies that land on your finger
A cat’s purr
When a piece of music you’re rehearsing finally sounds perfect
Hairties that don’t break
That perfect gift from that specific person
Receiving a letter
The smell of Christmas trees
Long, meaningful hugs
That happy baby sound
Creating memories with friends
The leaps and twists of talented dancers
Realizing you are early to the meeting
Your favorite TV shows
Adorable baby clothes
When you finally find a pair of jeans that fit
The relief of jumping into the cool lake on a blistering day
The smell of a new box of Crayolas
Feeling inspired
Writing poetry

Today is a day for wishful thinking
Or day long television marathons
A day of binging until your soul wears thin

Today is a day for bleaching
Licking envelopes so they will
Rip when pried
Just to hide what they hold

Today is a day for sacrifice
To sacrifice depriving yourself
Don't be so greedy about the amount you ignore

Today is a day to sit and cry
Even though you don't know why

Today is one of the days you can let yourself lull in the
Hangover of love
To feel the buzz of everyone else's call
But want no one else at all
This, is the day to waste away

Maybe yesterday was forbading
And tomorrow may be delayed
But I've put my foot down
I'm not ******* around
Because today?
Is a happy day.

chalk;
you remind me of letters not sent, languishing in drawers or cubby-holes with no intention of ever being read. glue driven into the cracks of your skin, i held you carefully and shh-murmured it'd be all right. that's okay that your arms aren't strong enough yet, i'll wait for you.

mist;
sometimes i'm afraid you'll simply evaporate. i could see right through you when we met, and nothing's changed. even your words are quiet, as if they had to be dragged out of your throat, but darling, there's nothing to wait for. i'd gather you up into a tiny bundle to care for, but i couldn't bear breaking you.

gloves;
yeah, so i saved the middle place for you, because that's where you belong. there are no edges for you, no edges for me. there are large lies, and small lies, but nothing that doesn't matter anymore. there is no balance, no goodbyes or hellos, there is a funny limbo with no doors, no numbers and i think we'll have to wait here for a while.

glitter;
it's funny how your title is glitter when you wouldn't be caught dead in or around it, but ******* do you remind me of it. there's sparkle in your complaining and a lightness in your proclamations of your plans to run away. there's an ocean between us but i've never known comfort like this.

my kitten;**
sure, there are barriers and chasms, but i'd bear more for you. there would be rainbows fastened in your hair and starkisses in your pupils, if i had a say in the world, but i don't and you weep on my shoulder. yes, there's a long way to go, but there would be marathons behind me before i'd stop. don't worry love, we'll get there.