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Lauren Pascual Jan 2021
if i only knew, that‘ll be the last time we’re gonna walk together,
i should’ve walked slower
maybe then, we’ll have more time

if i only knew, that’ll be the last photo of us smiling,
i should’ve took hundreds of it

if i only knew, that’ll be the last time we’ll cuddle in your bed
i should’ve held you tighter

if i only knew, that’ll be the last time we’re gonna share a meal together
i should’ve gave you the last bite
Lauren Pascual Apr 2020
thin red strings pulled our poor souls
we thought we were soulmates since then
but that same strings that draw us together
slowly reached through out and circled around our body
we then both struggled to breathe
until the air we inhale does not reach our lungs anymore
until the love we share does not fill our hearts like before
Lauren Pascual Dec 2019
there are songs that cannot be sang no more
strong rhythm that cannot be expressed in a crazy dance like before
there is pain kept hidden within the lyrics of our favorite song

i stopped singing love songs.
it reminds me of the sound your name
every time i hear one,
my heart shatters,
isn't that your favorite sound?
Lauren Pascual Dec 2019

if you're reading this,
(well i hope you're reading this)
i miss your warm and tight hugs
and i'm sorry if my words have caused you so much pain.
i didn't mean to, i swear... i didn't mean to.

i'm in deep pain, please understand me.
i'm fragile, handle me gently.
i'm weak and vulnerable... you see, but patience my love
soon, we'll get through all this.
Lauren Pascual Dec 2019
if only my pillow could talk
maybe then, you'll understand me.
  Jan 2019 Lauren Pascual
genius comes in fragments
poetry comes in slivers of sentences
open to all
yet mastered by none
merely mortals weaving a web
a web of words
of truths and lies
of things made plain
and things we hide
and as we navigate this artful web
we realize just how much we are out of our depth
  Jan 2019 Lauren Pascual
elle jaxsun
my mind is in knots.

there are so many twists and turns
that I can’t seem to follow
and I’m getting frustrated.

where is the start and where is the end?
and why is it so confusing?

i can’t sit still—my legs want to get up and go
but my brain is too tired for that right now.
i stay seated and try to untangle what is
the big grey lump in my skull, trying to figure out what it’s trying to say.

but it’s illegible and i can’t,
like a foreign language I don’t recognize.

hopefully as i spill out on to what was a blank sheet of paper i can break through those knots and maybe comprehend the load of thoughts running through and around each other in the space of my body that has been assigned to them.

i only wish i knew for certain that there would finally be a break through and that i will know what I should be knowing.

gathering myself might help as I feel as if
i’m spread across a massive surface that
i can’t seem to find all the pieces of myself on.

but how can I find myself when I barely know myself?

when i find out, i’ll let you know.
This is an edited and shorter version of a very messy poem I wrote in high school. So like 8+ years ago.
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