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Mims 1d
Suger kisses
Silly crushes
Candy hearts ask
"Will you be mine?"
Wandering eyes
A glance at her thighs
Thorns on the roses in the bouquet you bought yesterday
Two things that can pierce
And in between
Two things that bleed
Heart shaped cardboard boxes
Filled with chocolate
And caramel
Walking through target
Commercialised, consumerisim
And everyone likes talking about how
This holiday is what it is for more sales
Than romance
And its true
Sugar hearts do not equal ancient love
But we love to spend
Money and time
On someone we love
Or someone we are saying sorry to
Maybe its the same one
Humans are so cute
Making cards
Red and pink
And surprising with favorited
Chocolate things
But today is take out
The girl your 'one true' doesn't know about
Or maybe they do
But choose not to mention it
Because maybe they
Really

Love,

You.

Lacy black things
Long receipts
Long nights
Not at the office
Where you claim to be
Let me ask you
Were the flowers for her

As large, and as beautiful,

As the flowers for me?
Things I hear about in wine tainted conversations between the wives
Mims Feb 3
I'm not saying you made all the bad stuff go away!
I'm just saying!
You made me not care if it was there...

There was so much wrong in my head

I'd stare at the ceiling, lying in bed

Trying to figure out why my brain leaks out of my ears if I hear a certain song or
why when the sun hits me just right I get triggered for too long or
why in all my relationships I couldn't move on or
how the ******* priest thinks he can preach to me saying daddy never left and that's why you love buying Christmas trees

Family

A word that fits weird in my mouth
a word with a different meaning behind it than everyone else

they say blood is thicker than water but they both run in the river after you jump...

hold the edge of the bridge

hold my hand

feel my ribs

look deep

jumping was never in my plans but death felt like the option at the end of the tunnel for me

just exist

don't get ******

let the love wash over you
let the fear and drama drive you

let it make you want it so much more

I knock on your door twice

I used to dream that it was his but then I realized he, wasn't it.

God, fought so hard, never did anything but kick up sand now I'm trying to fit the love of my life Into my 20 year plan

it changed so fast sometimes I feel my love lag he's moving onto the next episode and I'm not passed the intro..

buffering

That's all this is, is buffering.
And if you wait long enough.

You'll unfreeze

trust me I know,


and I never trusted anyone but me.
The light at the end of the tunnel is not in fact a glowing exit sign
Mims Jan 25
*
I'm trying to be happy with the little corner of the universe I can control

I can not manipulate the night sky to call me back after 9

I can not ask to borrow the Moon's favorite dress

I can finish that book

I can wear those jeans

You

Have not taken

Everything

From me
Healing
Mims Jan 14
Put the laundry in the washer
Turn it on
Twist the silver dial
delicate

Get the rest off of you floor
In a laundry basket
Years worth
a large collection of cloth things

Drag the plastic baskets down the basement stairs

You're halfway there

Carry the ***** dishes
Armfuls and sticky fingers
But at least you were eating
Even if some days its just mugs with dried tea bags you are accepting something into the shell you become

I sit on the floor
And start putting markers back into my craft drawer
Thinking about how she liked to draw
And how she was so good at it
But she will not live long
With her condition

I shake my head
Pick up candy wrappers and place them in the trash
I think about how my 92 year old grandmother is dying more everyday
And I haven't seen her in 3 years
Family difficulty

I carry the trash bags down stairs
And wash my hands three times

Fold the laundry

I do this every few months
After midnight motivation
Comes
And I'll take anything I can get
I lay in bed
Took a sleeping pill so I wouldn't have to deal with my head

The melatonin makes the nightmares go away

And that's because I can't stay up late enough to become scared of my brain

I can't control anything

But sometimes I can

Clean

....
Mims Jan 9
I was her,
the girl in those poems you wrote
the girl you lied to
the girl you wanted, but never enough
the girl you argued with when you were lonely, or bored
the girl you made up with just so you could do it again

I trailed you
obsessed over you
some of those poems were true
but I know they aren't about
me
anymore
you said one day I would laugh at them. I didn't believe you until now
Mims Jan 6
You want to do Cold and Distant?

Fine,

But I've done Cold and Distant before

And I'm better at it than you are
I don't wanna play this game please just kiss me and say its all okay
Mims Dec 2018
Are not shadows in windows
But whispers of lost things on the late drive home

Seeing myself walk the side walk down the empty street
To your house
I still remember the inside

But we're driving
Not walking
I'm watching
Not existing
Another dimension

And it doesn't matter anymore

I'm not scared of the promises sewn into the carpet on my Aunt's living room floor
I hear them occasionally in a song
Or a joke
And I think about how maybe they could've been real

But I don't have proof
No photos
No witnesses
Just a letter I never sent
A poem unwritten
Blood on the pavement
A candle not burning


Anymore.



Not haunted
Just

Observing.
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