One day i'll forgive you for being the way that you are
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One day I might even stop caring about why,
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You
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Are
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The
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Way
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That
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You
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Are
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...
Do you miss me again tonight?
Is that why you're here?
Reading through all the old messages

Again?
i

of all people know


that history

trumps chemistry
i don't know how to tell you
It's cold
And I wish the sun wasn't coming up right now
But perhaps even more
I just wish I wasn't awake
Lost sleep creeps under my eyes
And my stomach has a hurt
The kind you get when you stay up all night
The cloudy outside
Loud drops of water hit my window
As I wonder why I did it
Self destructive
But not habits

Anymore.
Stay up all night occasional
Haven't done it for a while
On the couch
Me wrapped up in you
Like some present in the back of a Christmas movie
Heartbeat
Against my skin
This
Must be what it is

On the way home
My head in your lap
Wrapped in the soft blanket you brought so I wouldn't get cold
Staring at the cieling of your father's truck
Your face staring at me in my peripheral vision
Could be the 6th night in a row
That we have been together
And we both know it won't last forever
But your smile sends a shiver down my spine
And I never knew what it looked like
I'd never seen it
Maybe I could imagine it
But I never tried
With you
It came so easy
And I know everyone says that
The same way everyone says it gets better...

I come home
And let out a big sigh
This must be

What love looks like.
You can't be angry

It's not allowed

You should've gotten those feelings out long ago

Otherwise

They'll eat you up

Again.
"Somethings i'll never know. And I had to let them go"
All these so called friends

But no one's really been checking up on me.
You throw temper tantrums
You say I haven't been making sure you were okay as much lately
When you have never
Done that for me
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