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Sketcher Nov 2018
Although the world is ****** and I'd rather leave than stay,
There are many things I'm thankful for on this fine holiday,
Today I'll talk about people and things,
That make life a little more worth living,
These people and things remove all the stings,
Of pain I'm taking daily and giving,
A little more will make a bigger change,
Time for my attitude to rearrange,
Temporarily so I can say nice stuff,
Time to begin, that intro was enough,

I'm thankful for Skyrim through Arena,
I'm thankful for my mother Kristina,
I'm thankful for Toontown and its trolley,
I'm thankful for my lil' sister Zoe,
I'm thankful for all the love that one stole,
Cause now she will have a small part of me,
I'm thankful for my step-father Joel,
I'm thankful for TV shows and movies,
I'm thankful for this superb holiday,
So I can easily spread all my thanks,
I'm thankful for little tiny JJ,
And sometimes all of his crazy high jinks,
I'm thankful for pouring out whiskey, gin,
And other alcoholic beverages,
I'm thankful for the removal of sin,
And Jesus deciding what leverage is,
I'm thankful for my ancestors kin,
I'm thankful for my sister Adalyn,
I'm thankful for peoples divinity,
I'm thankful for my sister Trinity,
I'm thankful for Japan, chopsticks, and tea,
I'm thankful for the greatest homeboy D,
I'm thankful for big meals, good food, and feasts,
I'm thankful for my ex-girlfriend Tranyce,
I'm thankful for firsts, I'll punch you, sue me,
I'm thankful for the very tall Tui,
I'm thankful for rain and windy weather,
I'm thankful for the beautiful Heather,
I'm thankful for her brother named Erick,
And her other brother that is name Ray,
Their whole **** family is quite hysteric,
But hanging with them will brighten my day,
Thankful for the culminating project,
And the fact that I'm done cause they waived this,
I'm thankful for Smash Bros., I'm never rekt,
I'm thankful for wise ol' Mr. Davis,
I'm thankful for teacher Mr. Thompson,
Judo Sensei that knows how to whomp em',
I'm thankful for the roof over my head,
I'm thankful for my blankets and my bed,
I'm thankful for good brownies and hot rolls,
I'm thankful for my cool father Michael,
I'm thankful for past presidents life Ronald Reagan,
I'm thankful for my aunt on my moms side name Megan,
I'm thankful for the police that jail *****,
I'm thankful for my buff uncle Damick,
I'm thankful for lists made of pros and con,
I'm thankful for my other uncle Jon,
I'm thankful for pirate ships matey,
I'm thankful for my old grandpa Tracy,
I'm thankful for envelops that senda,
Letter and money from my grandma Brenda,
I'm thankful for Disney, Belle to Moana,
I'm thankful for my good friend Adriana,
I'm thankful for known facts and secrets, do tell
I'm thankful for a good friend named Miguel,
All these friends are such nice and kind fellas,
I'm thankful for a good friend named Ella,
I'm thankful for cats and their perfect pur,
I'm thankful for our late cat named Ginger,
I'm thankful for good smells and their freshness,
I'm thankful for our current cat precious,
I'm thankful for American and foreign dollah's,
I'm thankful for a black slug that we have named Nala,
I am thankful for Demetri's family,
Will, Dylan, Erick, and sleepy time tea,
Sometimes Nicole has me over for DnD,
I'm thankful for the oxygen coming from the trees,
I'm thankful for hope and the act of wishing,
I'm thankful for the oldest son Christina,
I'm thankful for music, rap, rock, and grunge,
I'm thankful for breakfast, dinner, and lunch,
I'm thankful for all family and friends,
I'm thankful for forgiveness and amends,
I'm thankful for X and the dead Lil Peep,
I'm thankful for the awake and asleep,
I'm thankful for skittles and good candy,
And Eminem, Marshall Mathers, dandy,
I'm thankful for swervers and people that stay in their own lane,
I'm thankful for Nirvana and specifically Kurt Cobain,
I'm thankful for drawing, painting, grass, and moss,
I'm thankful for the best painter, Bob Ross,
I'm thankful for Karate and Thai Chi,
Judo, Jeet-Kun-Do, and of course, Bruce Lee,
I'm thankful for drinks and fun house parties,
I'm thankful for squirm words like, "Farties",
I'm thankful for heavy metal and silence,
I'm thankful for Altoids, bubblegum, and mints,
I'm thankful for manga, comics, and novels,
Anime, and problems that are solvable,
I'm thankful for the nice clothes on my back,
I'm thankful for a great actor, Jack Black,
I'm thankful for watching the poem just go,
I'm thankful for Panic! at the disco,
I'm thankful for the singing and the dance,
I'm thankful for My Chemical Romance,
I'm thankful for all the lord of the rings,
I'm thankful for the books by Stephen King,
I'm thankful for the high highs and low lows,
I'm thankful for the greatest Burnham, Bo,
I'm thankful for zoos and the skilled handlers,
I'm thankful for the great Adam *******,
I'm thankful for the truthful and liars,
I'm thankful for great Robin Doubtfire,

I'm thankful for that feeling that's serene,
When you're chest to chest with one that will lean,
Towards you at any given moment,
And will give you love and their condolence,
And then they flee to somewhere else,
And you end up being someone else,
And they end up seeing someone else,
So your heart just gives up and melts,
But whatever feeling I'm feeling,
If I am feeling then I'm grateful,
Emotions must be constantly reeling in,
So I don't get lost in the dull sense of numb.
Thank You
A thanksgiving poem.
Joshua Trevino May 2016
When I was five years old and first stepped into a classroom I had lint and skittles and hope stuffed into my pockets. My firsts clutched at them so hard that when they made us shake hands with one another I extended a rainbow palm to my partners. They gawked at it for a second and then took my hand and we were stuck together with a bond that only innocence and sugar can provide.

When we were kids we built our trust out of sticks and stones--a bond that would come to be stronger than sugar and innocence and hope--you would lead us through waters we were not sure we could wade yet.

In 7th grade the spaces between hallways and classrooms are where I learned that silence breeds intolerance and apathy. Our trust was no longer built on sticks and stones, but on those moments when we chose not to be silent--when we were thankful that someone said anything to us at all because life only ever matters when you know you exist.

And so I will write you letters so that you know that I see you.

Dear Girl In Class That Listens to Boys Making **** Jokes,

I see you. I see those boys too. And they will see me when I reach down their throats where the hate they spew lives tell them that I will not meet their intolerance with tolerance.

I’ll probably get a phone call from mom.

Dear Boy In Class Who Changes All Of the Pronouns In His Poems Because He’s Scared Of  The Students Around Him,

I see you, I see those edits you make too. You’re beautiful and so are your words. Stop making bad edits.

Dear Boy In Class Who Thinks Gay Is A Synonym For Stupid

I know that all hate is learned and that you learned that this was okay because no one ever told you it wasn’t. I’m telling you now. Stop.

Dear Students In Class Who Are Afraid To Speak Up

I’m writing this poem for you. I want you to take this poem with you when you leave. Turn it over in your mind like the cool side of a pillow when you lay down to sleep. Let it support your head and your dreams.

Repeat it like a prayer so that these words will stick in your mind, even when I’m not there: Just because school is a weapon free zone does not mean that you leave your mind, your heart, your thoughts, your questions, your voice at home.

Take this poem and place it beneath your feet. Stand on it, use it to meet your adversaries at eye level every time they try to look down on you.

Let this poem catch you when they try to blast you back with backwards rhetoric.

Use this poem as a shield--hold the words around you so that when the world tries to drop bombs on you you’ll be able to appreciate the beat.

Keep it like a secret and when you’re alone and writing and the words are stuck in the ink of your pen remember that poetry doesn’t come from words, it comes from a willingness to love and to be loved. I know this because the first poem I ever heard was when my mother held my head in her lap and told me the only Spanish I would ever remember--todo para la familia--everything for the family.

And so I’ll leave those words as a mantra for you and I hope that you’ll understand some day that you don’t need this poem and you can crumple it up and throw it away because your voice matters and even if it’s met with silence, nothing will change that.

To The Teachers That My Students Write Poems About,

Take this poem. Use it as a warning.

My students are better poets than me.
Spoken word piece performed as a sacrificial poem for my students.
Harrison Apr 2014
I left it back in high school
on the bench near the gate
behind it were some red flowers
and I always thought they were nice
standing out from the green
surrounding them
I left it back in the library
Near the encyclopedia labeled
Firsts , I was on my way to you
when I dropped it
Back in middle school
on the 5th field during P.E.
he was beating me senseless
when it came off
I was bleeding everywhere
he told me to pick it up
that day I decided to walk home
When my mom first thought that I was gay,
She and my father sat me down at the kitchen table.

I was fifteen and thought I was in love,
And all they could do was scream at me...

‘You’re a sin; what you feel isn’t natural.’
‘Where did we go wrong?’

And all I had wanted was to love in peace.
But apparently, that was too much to ask from them.

So I stifled myself.

I cut myself off from her and let us wither
Until there was nothing left of us because
I wasn't normal
And I was fifteen
And all I wanted was my mother’s approval
And how could I gain that if I wasn’t normal?

And then I was sixteen and I thought I was in love again
But this time with a seventeen-year-old boy
That knew nothing of love
And everything of sharp edges and even sharper words
But he spoke so pretty to me,
And how could I resist?

But he hurt me worse than anyone else that I’ve known
And he never even cared…

And then I was seventeen.

I was seventeen and my best friend had this mane
Of beautiful hair and I called her lovely and wife
And all the other silly little pet names that high school girls do
But little did she know that her smile
Lit fireworks inside my brain and the swarms of
Butterflies that beat in my chest rivalled that of a drum.

I thought she was beautiful.
I saw the universe in her.

But how could I admit that to myself without admitting it to
My mother, the one person whose validation I crave like
Air and water and life itself?

How could I admit to her that I wasn’t
Her little girl anymore?
That I was a disappointment?

And then I was eighteen.

I was eighteen and numb and not looking for anything when he found me...
I was eighteen and I thought that surely,
Surely
This was it, this was the feeling that I was waiting for.

But it wasn’t and I was eighteen and alone again
But this hurt worse than the others and then I was gone after that summer.

Now, I’m almost nineteen.

I’m almost nineteen and I’ve accepted the fact that
I will disappoint my mother;
The one whose opinion that I value the most;
The one that gave birth to me;
The only one that can tear me down until I feel like nothing.

But she’s my mother so how could I let her go
When she was there for my first word and my first steps
And every one of my other firsts.

My first date.

My first dance.

My first breakup.

She was there when I left for college, and she’ll be there when (if)
I get married.

Because regardless of my choices,
She loves me, and she always will.

And even if I can’t bring my partner home,
I will love her all the same.

So mom, if you see this,
I’m sorry.

I’m sorry that I didn’t turn out how you wanted.
I’m sorry that I disappointed you.

But I’m not sorry for being who I am.

I’m not sorry for thinking women are beautiful
And men are handsome
Because all the world needs is a little bit more love,
And who am I to deprive it of that?
An apology to my mother, who may or may not see this...
T Sep 2023
Her
First Love:
You were never cruel,
the "too good to be true."
You always remind me of youth,
as pure as young love.
I never thought that I would be writing again,
as I think of those days.
How I used to love writing about you.
Your smile,
your love for music,
and your soul.
They were my favorite subjects.
I'm writing again.
Being reminded of how pure I used to write.
But the truth is, I never told anyone.
The reason why I used to love writing.
It was because of that person.

Second love:
The love who also teaches most with my firsts.
How I learned about poetry.
She loves them more than I do.
She's my soulmate.
I love writing, and I bring her with me.
She was there in almost every behind-the-scenes of how I love things.
I was also never a fan of reading,
but I also learned to love it.
I got to learn to think deeply.
Again, she was there.
I carry her with me every time.
I also got to taste the harsh world as she first had it.
Now, we are also sharing the same sentiments about the world.
How could we hate the world and everyone who made us who we are today.
I got to know most of my firsts from her.
It's like she'll have them first, so I can have her as the person who will understand me.
But now that time is something that we can no longer control,
I've got to learn things by myself too.
Thank you, even when I only learned to love you second.
You will always be my soulmate.
Still and will always have you as part of me.
Em Glass May 2014
The first time you flew
you told the birds how unfair
it is that the air is so much
thinner up here,
that below they have to breathe
the crushing weight of the
stratosphere
just because they’re accustomed
to it, and your gasping
for breath doesn’t make
any noise yet
every day you choose life,

man and wife
man and wife


placed in a gunfight with a pocket knife
and a guidebook of expectation.
You don’t remember filling out an
application for this life, for
now-flightless wings and for being
their daughter,

I will love you
come hell or high water


and the first time you flew
you heard birds laugh at you
and the air was so thin
you fell right through,
and the silence so thick
you landed hard,
lungs aching,
but you were never afraid of the dark,

in the high water
watch out for sharks


because you aren’t one for stark
contrasts and it’s nice to feel
like nothing at all,
keep falling.

The first time you didn’t
write a poem you drank tea
out of a paper cup, no mug
in the sink, no need for anyone
to look up when she came home.
The first time you used the key
in your new house’s door
it fit so perfectly that you didn’t feel
at home anymore,
and the first time you were afraid of the dark
you weren’t,
because it can’t get you
if it can’t see you’ve left any mark.

The first time you didn’t
write a poem the *** boiled
even though you watched,
and you drank tea out of a paper cup
and no one looked up, it was
biodegradable and then it was
gone.

The first time you flew.
The first time you really saw you.
The first time you heard that
song called poison oak,
the first time you said what you
meant to say,
the last time you spoke.
a third draft
blue mercury Oct 2018
i want to tell a story about the colors in the trees.

i want to tell you about the quaking in my hands.

i want you to know where the rain falls,
how the crashing voices
sound like waves in the night time,
tugged tides tied to the moon
like a leash to a dog.

i want to give you something to regret.

i want you to recall how i, in all of my
innocence and passion
fell over you
(in concentrated lust
but also romance)
on that day in late may,
how you held
my bare body against yours
how in that moment
i remembered nothing but skin and skin
and
skin, nothing
but firsts,
but blessings
but

i want you to wonder how the holy swallow their love.
(i have confirmed, they do it like one would pomegranate seeds- with their eyes shut, but you wouldn't know)

i want you to believe you lost a good thing.
there's love grown in my belly the way
i was told watermelon patches would when
i was young and didn't
know any better.

i want to say that i didn't know you would destroy me.
that the rips under my skin were a shock
the ice-pick to my heart was unexpected.

i want to say something
but all that comes out is
i'm sorry
not knowing what i'm sorry for.
my heart aches, but i'm living
Spooky Babe Feb 2015
It was nice
Very nice and intriguing
To see how our bodies work
to listen to your breathing

And your steady heartbeat
That mine sometimes became insynch
I tried to clear my mind
I attempted not to think

At that moment i was yours
I surrendered to your spell
I hope my smile proved it
I hope that you could tell

That I wanted you so badly
My heart beats were vast
My palms started to perspire
I just wanted it to last
April 21 2014 11:46pm
Poemasabi Aug 2012
The first enchilada was created in the summer of 1968
In a small house near Seal Beach
In Southern California.

The house was owned by a friend of my dad's
Or my mom's
And we had gone over for dinner

I was eight

I would like to say that it was a cool beach pad
With wood paneling, all the rage back then
And an Eames recliner in the corner of the living room

I only remember the paneling
but since I am writing this
The Eames piece stays

We had gone for dinner
And the owner of the house had made enchiladas
Beef ones as I recall with sauce from a series of Old El Paso cans

I can still smell and taste them
They were the first world food I had ever had
Besides canned Chinese food from the supermarket which doesn't count

And because I loved them with their ground beef and sauce
Their hot oil softened corn tortillas, sour cream, cheese and green onion
And little tiny bits of black olive

They became the prison guards
Throwing open the gates of my suburban Connecticut upbringing
Letting me leave the confines and walk freely in the sunshine for the first time

They were followed by many other firsts
Sushi, Crepes, haggis,  tiki masala and sea urchin to name a few
All of which owe their very existence in my life

To that first enchilada.
LS Oct 2014
First man I've ever seeked
****** approval from
No other guy has laughed
When I touched his belt

Without her
I'm thrown into this huge sea
Of firsts.
emma Feb 2014
well i don't like YOU
but i kind of like US
yeah, i like us
and i like that sneaky picture my friends took
when you kissed me
and it hurts my stomach when i think of how
i'm not the only girl you kissed that night
which i guess makes me guilty of double standards
'cause even though you were the first of the night
you weren't the last
or the middle one
or the one after that
but yeah, let's say the first one is all that counts
and then we can both be happy
we
us
us
us
us
this is probably the ugliest thing i have ever written, yet it feels so right
Zachary Nov 2012
She's the one that's is seen as time,
the old question we as men ask ourselves,
what do i have to do to make her mine.
We grow up and see the many joys of the world, but as we in turn grasp the thought of joys we truly seek that girl,
the glimpse of beauty I seem to see,
is what we as young boys want to flee,
and maybe it's right that we fear the fate,
that love implants it's first tastes on our firsts dates.
but maybe sometimes we should just run away to ditch,
but ****** she's so innocent she can't type the word b**.
thrcy Dec 2014
No matter how hard you try to fix broken relationships, friendships, and people , some things aren't meant to be fixed. You will have no control over this and sometimes all you can do is let it go.
2. You will get your heart broken, a lot. Doesn't matter how prepared you are, it will hurt and maybe for a very long time. But time heals everything and eventually all this will pass by.
3. You will get attached to people you never thought you'll talk to ever and you will tell them your life story, but eventually they will leave and you'll watch them walk away. And it is alright to get sad about it.
4. Take chances and tell people what you think and how you feel. Yes, it will be scary but it will also be satisfying. I think it is important to speak your mind and to be brutally honest, because you'll regret the things you never say and you will also regret some things you say. But always let your thoughts be heard.
5. Stop torturing and comparing yourself to who is better at it. Be happy of who you are because there is no one best at it other than you.
6. Remember, you are your own hero. You are the one that picks yourself up after every time life punches you right in the stomach and hands you all the pain. Don't be so ******* yourself, learn self-love. You'll be happier trust me.
7. Get out of your comfort zone and try different type of things. Amazing things don't happen by doing the exact same things. Change things up a bit in your life cause you might end up getting over a fear or find something you might have true passion for.
8. There are always firsts for everything in life. So go ahead be spontaneous as you can be. Be glad that you're still young cause you've got your whole life ahead of you. Enjoy your adolescent because it will get hectic in the adult world.
9. Have time just for yourself. It's alright to shut the world out for awhile. Sometimes all you need is peace and quiet. Just a time alone to think about important things.
10. Get some sleep and rest. It is the best way to find temporary peace and forget about all the problems you have.
11. Your education and future is very important. Strive to be the best you can be. You know that you can be the best if you're willing to work hard for it. Prioritize and manage your time wisely, trust me it's a good working habit to have in the future.
12. Thank the people who have helped and shaped you to be who you are and where you are right now. Thank the people who have underestimated and misunderstood you, you've became stronger because of this.
13. Know that sometimes the best of your friends will not be in the mood to want to talk about your dilemmas in life, there are times you didn't feel like doing that too, so forgive them for this. But always appreciate the friendships you have, these will be the people who will help you along the way through the hardships in your life, so be grateful always.
14. Don't hold grudges. You will not be happy if you do so, forgive them and you'll be much happier that you took that heavy weight off your chest.
15. One day boys will give you all their attention and ignore you the next day. And then they will flirt and make you special some more time. This will get tiring with, but you baby girl have the power and right to stop putting up with all their games.
16. Stop waiting for things to happen and enjoy life as it is. Stop waiting for the right moment and just for it. Enjoy the surprises life brings to you because sometimes the most amazing things happen when it is unplanned and least expected.
Samantha Ellis Feb 2015
the first time i gave a guy head
it was in a strange house
in an unfamiliar bed.

i barely knew his first name
i acted like i had experience
treated it like a game

the first time i had ***
it was a similar experience
but hey- what'd you expect?

i was drunk on a bathroom floor
he ****** his tiny thing inside me
and after called me a *****

My first time was my last
he destroyed my confidence
i regret the past
Leone Nov 2013
I have a hole inside my heart
A hole that's shaped like you
A hole so big I feel it ache
Every time I move

At first I didn't notice
I thought my heart was strong
I figured I was happy
Even though you were long gone

Physically I felt okay
Though my soul was torn apart
I pretended everything was fine
And I even played the part

I lived my life from day to day
In a cheerful, up beat manner
I was caught up in a world of firsts
And got lost in all the glamour

But as soon as I got home again
My heart began to crumble
Slowly it got worse and worse
So bad it made me stumble

Stumble over every thought that drove us both away
I wondered if I'd ever feel
Or love again someday

So now I live looking for a piece that will fit inside the hole
Anything that will complete my hollow little soul

Ideally you would mend me
By coming home to stay
But fantasies are empty dreams that keep despair at bay

I know that you are happy now
And I'm just a distant thought
The only thing I do regret is that I never fought

If you ever think of me
Remember that I tried
To give you all the love and joy
That a woman can provide

I loved you then
I love you now
And tomorrow is uncertain
The hole might grow or disappear but you will never be forgotten
audrey Aug 2022
It’s your first birthday away from home. 18 was old school, full of firsts and fears of growing up. At 19, your last teen, you’re older now, firsts are no longer feasible yet no one tells you about your first birthday alone. Your friends at 18 are no longer the first you see when you the clock strikes midnight simply because they are not your first friends anymore. Your friends at 19 are different, older and birthdays are days you are born on, that doesn't mean they love you any less. At your last teen, you spend your first alone. You learn to re-love yourself. You no longer need the boy to text you at 00:00 nor your parents’ forehead kiss by the foyer. You no longer need a surprise cake nor the flashy birthday posts. You need yourself, who has always been there for you at your first first because here’s to re-loving yourself at your last teen, at nineteen.
Here's to growing up <3
Moushmi Mehta Oct 2016
Trumpet made that jazzy sound
Anywhere is fine, noisy and not alone
Solace because the daydreams have ended
Away from trouble which is mostly my phone

Grey eyes gripping blue fairy lights; faces locked
Last call for drinks and the Trumpet stopped
Aggressively aware of the small room in between
Embraced the truth with a soul that's clean
gothicc Jun 2017
i cried about you the last 2 nights
still trying to figure out why

i see my monsters in my vision's side
when i go to look them in the eye

they have disappeared
i check the mirror to make sure im still there

but then looking at my hair
i remember another ere

the one who made me go from dark to light
but only on the outside

in my heart it was night
i came back despite despise

the difference is you did everything & more
he nothing & less & pushed me out the door

so the knowledge i had on how to hurt i had stored
and used subconsciously to destroy your core
I would always think of you as my first reason to keep my life worthwhile; my first reason to live and not just survive. You have all my firsts, hopefully to be my last.

I would always remember how the stars would shine for you, seeing and feeling every inch of your skin glows underneath the blue light moon,
How the night sky shines and rise for you. I knew that when I look deep into your eyes, I knew you’re the one.

I would always remember how fate and destiny lead us here
That every mistake and misleading decision I made lead me right into your arms
Each coincidences are not plain luck and would often happen.
It was a one in a million experience and yet was still meant for it to happen.

I would always remember how we first sat and talked, with our hearts full of passion and tranquility, that neither of us never wanted to stand up and leave on that coffee table we were sitting in
I knew from the very start that you will be the one.
You understood all my thoughts in a blink of an eye back then, our thoughts clicked in just a jiff and I think it’s a beautiful thing for me.

I would often think of the future with you. That one day I’ll wake up next to you, morning sun rays hitting our morning faces.
With our tangled feet underneath the tangled sheets
We’ll wander with our minds, never wanting to get out of bed and do our errands for that day.

You never fail to seize my mind, and you know that.
You never fail to bring out the best in me and pull out the worst.
You were my hope when in times of doubt and darkness, you are my star.
You taught me to sail far across my comfort zones and to ride back on each big waves I will encounter.
Through the rigged battles that we have, yet I still don’t know when to come, you just sat there with me, telling me not to worry a single bit.

I would always think of you as my first reason to keep my life worthwhile; my first reason to live and not just survive. You have all my firsts, hopefully to be my last.
Daphne Harper Jul 2010
You've got it all wrong
   Don't leave me like them
  You've read it all wrong
   Re-read it, again

And who are you to write it
and who am i to say this

You loved me best
You lvoed my first
You loved me worst
A Nov 2015
I still have that bottle of Jack you never finished
(Don't worry, I finished it for you)
And that empty bottle of beer you left by my bedside the night you took one of the last firsts that I had
And now that you've left
I'm starting to see similarities between myself and the bottles
Empty
Maybe I keep them around for like minded company
Empty

Or maybe I keep them around to remind me of your heart
tesla Jan 2017
Sometimes I wish I was your first love.
I wish I held that spot that means so much,
I wish I was your first love because it's always the strongest.
Other times I'm glad I wasn't knowing you'd not be you without going through those first.

Sometimes I wish I was your first love.
I want to be the one you never forget,
I want to be the one that matters most.
Other times I'm glad I wasn't because I want to be the last.

Sometimes I wish I was your first love.
I don't want to have to worry if I ever compare,
I don't want to be insecure you love me less.
(like all firsts, you
may bet)
it hurts        (but
through the second, third, fourth and nth)


time
(it does the) hurts
all the more,     just
to make it


perfect; to seem as though

    magic


my heart    (could be red
not for)

it bled
for you


more    (for it is
     more)    than


a tatoo
TIME HAS COME
TO PUT ON OUR SKIN OF COURAGE
TO BE THE FIRSTS
UNTIL THERE ARE NO MORE FIRSTS
NO MORE LEFT BEHINDS
UNTIL OUR QUANTITY PARS QUALITY

THE RACE IS ON
LET’S OPEN OUR EYES
OUR MINDS UNBIASED
TO THE MANY OPPORTUNITIES
THOSE VAST POSITIVITIES

YES WE CAN
BE BOLD
SO LET’S USE OUR VOICES

YES WE CAN
BE INSPIRED AND INSPIRE
TO BE BIGGER
TO DREAM FRESHER

YES WE CAN
BE FEARLESS
SO OUR DAUGHTERS CAN BE LIMITLESS

YES WE CAN

ON OUR MARKS

GET SET

LET’S GO

BE BOLD FOR CHANGE

                                © Belema .S. Ekine
It Is International Women's Day today. Lets us all come together to show support for our women and girls. Men, boys, women, girls , we all need to work together to ensure that the future is better.
Eleutherophobia Jun 2014
It's like I have been
Letting the beaten path
Take hold of my marionette strings
Through every step onto the grassy field
And every hug
And every smile
Has been half from love and happiness
And half from my autopilot tendencies
The truth is I don't want to be sad
I am ready
This is life
And it demands to move forward

You can either see that life is full of lasts
Or see it is full of firsts
That was my first high school graduation
And now it is the first time I am ready
Fully capable to spread my wings
And all of that corny *******
But it's all true

There comes a time in life when you must decide
Do I fly or fall?
And I have been planning to soar
The past is beautiful
And I'm sure nostalgia will eventually come
Knocking on my heart's door soon enough
Striking with pangs of emptiness
For the realization that childhood is over
But it's not lost or forgotten
It is simply time to move on
Holding those memories in the most central part of our souls

I will miss it all I'm sure
But firsts are always too exciting to think about the possibility for lasts.
Madame Eleanor Jul 2014
There's a first time for everything.
First love-
First kiss,
First real relationship.
First time I knew you were looking right through me.
First time I doubted you,
First time I questioned the motives for the things you do.
First moment I suspected you didn't love me.
(First time you proved that theory)
First time I knew you thought I was inferior to thee.
First time you yelled at me.
First time you touched me and it wasn't lovingly.
First time you pulled away from a kiss and then wouldn't look me in the eyes.
First time I knew some of what you said would still be just lies.
First time I could see myself building a life with another person.
First time I loved freely without needing permission.
First time I thought you were different.
First time I realized you were just like the rest of them.
Remember the first time you got so afraid I was going to leave?
First time you made me cry, first of oh so many.
First time you hugged me.
First time you spoke without love or sincerity.
First time you said you missed me.
Our first, and our last, anniversary.
First time I prayed for a cardiectamy.
First time you told me I wasn't special or smart.
First time someone ever broke my heart.
sierra Apr 2018
it's been a year of firsts
my first time moving out
my first time with a guy
my first time being in control
but sadly
I can't say I've experienced
my first time moving on

it's been over a year
and still you appear in my thoughts
daily, mostly in fear

I gave you my mind
my heart, my soul, my love
but it wasn't enough for you
you bent and twisted me until you broke me

even though this year changed me
so many different ways
deep down I'm so glad
I didn't let myself stay

I think about you
miss you, too
I'm drunk but still with it enough to say
*******
Audrey Lipps Nov 2014
Her hand grazed my knee first;
black nail polished fingers
filled with golden rings and solitude

Her hand slid up past my knee next,
A chilling whisper of a husky voice,
"I'm bisexual, whatever, who cares?"
A tone so sleek, so ****,
Uncaring and unrelenting

Her hand moved inward this time,
her warm breath pressed to my neck,
questions of sexuality and culture
in her ******* rasp and
I melted that way, I ******* melted that day

A level booming below,
A band of drummers,
Drumming of ambition and heartbreak,
A base-dropping attitude from Athens

She leaned in first, her smoky green eyes
******* mine and I looked up,
with a feeling of hot temperance on my tongue,
She kissed me,
sweet and bold and the evening was full
of firsts because she grabbed me,
so fast and forward and
dimmed the mood and began her journey
into transcendental fluidity

We swayed to the beat of casuality,
a beat unfamiliar in my world of seriousness,
and she grabbed my hand and pulled her lips
closer, closer
and whispered "I'll get us a taxi"

Beautiful women make my heart flutter,
and beautiful women with smoky green eyes
and blonde dreadlocks make my speech stutter
but I followed her into the abyss of wonder
holding her hand onto the grassy concrete,
our breath white and our spirits hazy

The taxi home reminded me of New York streets,
and it made me forget of Oxford priorities and
senseless irony and she kissed me twice,
her **** fingers searching for answers
in the 2:30am moonlight

She kissed me in the elevator,
A familiar scent of the haunted ancients and
her sly character left me breathless, an
adventurous eighteen-year-old searching for
wisdom and a twenty-something searching for
a definition, we collided

Her dorm, lined with yellow lights and
colorful elephants, a comforting essence of
security and warmth

She grabbed my waist and
turned me around,
I lost my breath in her
seductive sway,
She kissed me hard and pushed me fast,
onto her pillows of a cool fragrance

She screamed once and I screamed twice,
A fantastic pain muffled by the sound
of old heat lamps

"You'll forget this," I said
"Please," she said, "I'm practically sober."

We continued for hours, her spirit quick,
unceasing,
persistent
She smiled exquisitely,
with slanted eyes, she licked her lips

We slept soundlessly,
Her hand where it started, above my knee
and below my waist,
Black nail polished fingers held
my hand until morning,
a soft kiss on the shoulder blade
and I awoke to the chirping of morning

And I left with a sense of softness,
not accomplishment and
I'll see the smoky-eyed,
yellow-dread girl once more,
And I hope it's when I don't know
what
for
Brianna Marie Jul 2010
where'd you go?
don't come home
because slowly I'm fading away
and I'd like to die if that's okay
I guess this was never really my thing
and love isn't really my thing
between all the words you never spoke
and all the words I never wrote
well we could make something beautiful
but anything aside from an argument's a miracle
I think you're better off gone
and I'd rather be alone
if I wrote you a hundred notes
and made you read every last one
well I don't think you'd get the hint
but you never knew what my words meant
I mean what's easy for you,
stepping on people to cross the room?
maybe it's best you stay away
you're a filthy rag atop a bouquet
there's no way I could possibly depict
all the pain you inflict
so I guess this isn't really your thing
and love was never really your thing
I'll just sleep off your departure
and awake with your memory a blur
would that lure you back dear?
long enough for me to yell "get out of here!"?
long enough to see my craze?
or are you forever lost in a phrase?
Nat Lipstadt Jun 2018
For Emma Ottinger “I put out (my stories) just because”

“just because”
that’s the best excuse you got girl?

cause be-ing
just
is a **** good one

way back in March
wrote a declaration^ to all those just
beginning with an iota of courage and
a good story telling
way of seeing and the
secret sauce-way
to spin my imagination in
my eye sockets
with their well words,
for I am a drinker of
the beaujolais firsts of the new grapes
of young poets

words welling springing from between
the oohs and ahs and the damns -
I wish I had wrote that...

so here’s a hero push - so many kinds of bread to
fill our baskets, please girl may I have some more?
so here’s to you - and the Great Plains that birthed you,
and the breadbasket of four poem/stories you poured out
that were so far from plain, how could you know of seas and sea foam and cobalt and mahogany human body parts?

and the speech patterns of waves that took me decades to learn?

use those “Jacob’s ladders between your fingers,”
“whistle me like a stray dog following,”
for that’s what “the kingpin of my flighty wits”
requires, for this old scribbler is now:

“firmly rooted for a girl who's bold enough
to crack the whip over her head if
ever went to war with myself.
A confidant that won't run,
won't offer half truth when
the whole of it
is all that actually matters.”

so write with that window light on and
wheat fields that can be reenvisioned as the gray-blue sea
from which I crawled out of croaking...
to read you rightly

6/25/18
10:25PM
David Chin Oct 2011
Life is a trilogy with birth and death sandwiching
Our life stories into books and chapters are written
Every second with every action and inaction
That we take takes each chapter on a wild ride
Through defeat and triumph and love and hate

Chapters like first kiss and first love and first car
And all of our firsts are only minor chapters when
Compared to chapters like self realization
And self acceptance and self recognition
And other chapters about our internal struggles

Internal struggles like depression or anxiety
Or coping with the death of a close friend or
Family member create cliffhangers and drama
In our books and they make our stories different
From all of the other stories that we read

When we make new friends or unite with old ones
And these struggles can tear pages out of our books
That we don’t want people to read because they are
Too hurtful or too personal or they cut us too deep
That we don’t want other people to find out

The truth of what happened or what we have done
And these torn pages will be a reminder of our past
And it reminds everyone that life isn’t perfect
And that we are all flawed with some more than others
But we are all the same because we have gone through hardship

Our books have twists and turns that make us smile
And they make us cry but no matter what they make
Us think about our own lives and how we can write
The next chapter or rewrite the past or change a few words
But no matter what we change our books will never be complete

Life is a book and we all need to read each other’s book
By looking into our eyes or how we are dressed or how we act
Or through our conversations because our books are constantly
Changing with every second and with everything that we do or don’t do
With every feeling or thoughts we have or how we choose to live

Look into my eyes and you can see that my book
Is no different from yours and my chapters are the same
There is a chapter for depression and for anger and for shame
There is a chapter for all of the happiness in my life thus far
And a chapter for all of the things that I want to accomplish

No matter how our books start the ending will be
The most powerful because that will define our past
How we die and how our books are written will determine
If they will be bestsellers or on the self collecting dust
But no matter what life’s a book and we should all read each other’s
Evynne Nov 2013
Sometimes I dream of scratching and digging viciously at his skin
As if I am trying to take back what I lost inside of him
What he tore away from me without my permission

Four years later and
I still cringe

He was so many firsts
First boyfriend
First 4 hour phone call
First person to see me naked
Undeniably bare and fresh and perfect
My body like an untouched lump of clay
Waiting for his hands to twist, mold, and taint it
First relationship
First time my body was a scale
He was so much weight

He never stopped
Especially after he would hear me utter “no”
He took away so much of me

Compromise was turning off the lights
Shutting my eyes as tight as they could go
Until it was all over
And I could breathe again

What was it that coerced him to finger me under the blanket in front of my siblings?
What was it that compelled him to ignore all of the no's?
What was it that drove him to take me upstairs to my bed while my own grandmother was just a room away and ****** himself inside of me without my consent?
What was it that made his hands cause every single centimeter of my skin to flinch?
Will I ever be forgiven for the sins I did not commit, but unintentionally created?

After it happened
My sanity seemed to be a balancing act
I felt like an old, empty museum
An eviscerated monument
Something that used to hold so much worth
Something that was now meaningless
Futile
And
Disgusting


Shortly after, denial surfaced
It took over and replaced my name
Every single minute of every single day
I was telling myself over and over and over
That it never happened
All in an attempt to make it go away
Doing everything I could to prevent myself
From ever admitting it
Doing everything in my will to forget
But failing so miserably

I called it an armed robbery
As if he could bust through my chest
Tear open my ribs
And steal everything that made my heart dance
And then nail its wings to his filthy trophy wall

For a long time after 
I was careless
A fallen angel
Looking for love
In the same way in which I lost it
Looking for love
In the same way in which I got to know pain and hurt intimately
It was a continuous game of innocence being lost

I was a lost and forgotten treasure
Living in a garden of destruction
Scared and ****** up and doing everything that I thought I needed
Thirsting for all of the medicine that I thought they had

I was stuck in the greatest darkness of my life
As I tried to convince myself that the men I met along the journey
Were my only light
I couldn't help but to seek safety in other people
For it was in another person that I lost all sense of my own security

I was someone who belonged to no one, who belonged to everyone
There was constant bloodshed in my head and in my heart

So I did the things I did hoping I could make it all rewind
Go back to the very first day when I wasn't strong enough to get up and leave
After all of my thousands of insistent no's were intentionally ignored and thrown aside

I was disgusted with myself
Constantly putting myself down
Tearing myself apart
From the inside out and the outside in

Most days I would feel ***** (somedays I still do)
Contaminated
Defiled
Repulsive

It was hard to keep praying to someone who had me on hold
When all I wanted was for someone to hold me
Or at the least,
Something to hold on to

I think back and can't help but recall
How difficult it was to breathe in public

I felt hardened
I wanted someone to tell me that it wasn't my fault
To remind me that life is suffering
And existing is a coincidence
And that I am only a witness to half of it

I suppose that intimacy is the art of licking wounds
Because it has taken me years to let anyone kiss me
with my lips chapped
and my body tense
my eyes flitting
and my heart hiding

Four years later and
I still cringe

My father is always talking about how strong I am
He is so proud of my resilience that it sometimes makes me uneasy
He loves to brag about me to other people
Saying that I am capable of anything and everything
All because of everything I have been through and all that I have overcome

But the thing is
He doesn't even know half of it
He has no idea about what happened four years ago
About what continued to happen after that day

Now that time has passed
And I have finally healed (somewhat)
There's no denying that a part of me
Will always ache and burn because of this
But I have realized that
I am not the one who is broken
He is,
The monster who did this to me

And nothing has been stolen from me
Because my body is not a castoff
And there is nothing that sits inside of me
Bearing my worth

There is no trinket that can be seen
Touched
Or taken
****** from my stomach
Only to be left somewhere on the concrete
Or buried deep within a dumpster
And lost forever

Yes, something was seized from me
That I will never get back
But I refuse to watch myself collapse

I have heard that one in three women will be
*****
Or sexually abused
In their lifetime

Well,
I am one of three daughters

Four years later and
*I still cringe
Alice Lovey Jul 2018
Or do I already know?
I naively nourish these fervid feelings I hold.
Moving slowly, in rhythm, matching your sway,
Questionless is my admiration in every way.
Ardently I coast on the energy waves
Of your passions
And dispassionate despondency.
Waste the day together watching good TV;
It's not wasted if it's with you.
The never-ending riddle of learning how to love,
And learning how to love the one you love,
The one you think most of.
The unfaltering encouragement of success,
Filling in the blanks so the other won't stress.
I'll sweep the floors when you can't anymore,
Get us through the boring chores
Of every day life.
Those mundane motions for the future--
So much more to look forward to
With the addition of you.
Voices soften with the intimacy of quieter talk...
And the sensuality of our skin.
The carelessness and the giving in.
The tears shed, yours and mine,
Shared as "tiny dots on an endless timeline."
The subtleties of selflessness,
The subtleties of trying to change.
The obsession over mistakes,
Anxiety that keeps me awake.
Heated fights and
The addictive rush when we make up.
The selfishness, greed and possessiveness build up.
I am broken,
Or I act as if I am so.
I am broken, but there are sunflowers I wish to grow
In the broken *** within you
So that you may feel a little less broken too.
If this is love, I wish someone could tell me.
If this is love, why must it be so delicate,
Yet so assiduously enduring?
Continuous forgiveness
And the things we let each other get away with;
The "knowing better"s.
All those firsts, all those places that were meant to be with you.
Everything I would do
To make you smile.
How naturally I could laugh and feel at ease,
How naturally you brightened a smile on me.
How naturally, despite, we could become so miserable.
How naturally, despite, I could love so unconditional.
The wanting to just feel you there
Till we were unaware of our despair.
The frankness and the fall of our walls.

The letting go.
The folding up my heart and putting it away
When I can accept
It's not yet
To be worn by you.
"Shared dots on an endless timeline" borrowed from a song by La Dispute, called "Woman (in mirror)"

“White”

Letting myself feel, at least for today.
Gaby Comprés Dec 2018
i wonder
what will be the cause of heartbreak?
what will make you leave?
will i make you leave?
who will leave?
i know
one of us will.
i already know
i will
not save anything for myself
(i know i should)
but i will not
i will
not even try.
i will
give you everything—
my heart, my bones, my time,
my shoulders and hands and collarbone
and all of my firsts.
i will
write you poems, tuck them in your hair
i will
whisper you my love in the night.
i wonder
about your eyes
how will they see me?
what color are they?
what will it take from me to make them dance?
i know
i will love you long after you’re gone
ours will be the story
i will tell my children
i know
i will forgive you and let you go,
remember you more times than i should,
write you poems you will never read.
written after reading Rebecca Hazelton’s ‘you are the penultimate love of my life’.
Shiennina Marae Mar 2015
***
Why do you have so many piercings, someone asked
I bit my tongue, maybe you knew someone's going to ask about you, or me, or us

I got my first pair of piercings the day I was born
It was the beginning of life, a new start
It started a road trip to the ends of the world
My first piercings reminded me of a fresh page, with ink and pen waiting for my writing

The second piercing I got was from my first failure
It was devastating to see myself so deep in this hole I didn't see the light
A young mind crushed by a 5.0, what a day she must have had after hearing the news
I immediately wanted to ease the pain
That's when it all started - healing with hurt
I slept at night doubting every compliment anyone has ever given me
The pain reminded me of the reason, a good reason for it
One night it all started fading
It stopped hurting

The third one was when I first felt real and alive
We met at a very convenient time, it was love at second sight
I gave in, opened myself to the thought of you staying with me
Terrifying, comforting
I got my third to remind me of how happy you made me
How happy we were back then
How it all started and how I thought it would never end
It reminded me of what to live by, what to love and it boiled down to answering "you"
I got my third to remind me of when you used to see this as an "us", a "we", and not an "almost"

The fourth piercing was with you, I got this one with you
This was the time we faced our fears together, the pain forgotten and the joy of feeling this together felt like home
I asked you if you really wanted this, definitely meaning "us", you immediately answered with a resounding yes, and that's all I needed to hear
"I want this."
My fourth, your first
It was a privilege, I said to myself, to be your first
My fourth reminded me of how far I've come in life and why I've only come across you now
Your first reminded me of how significant I must be, how this made you feel like the constant reminder on your body was worth it

My fifth was from the time someone precious and close to your heart left you
It was loss that cannot be healed by my hands, my words and my love
My fifth reminded me of how vulnerable you are to this world's vicious evils, and how helpless I am
Your second was to remind you of love that was lost
It reminded me of one brave soul I wanted to be with so much
My fifth was a note on my body that shouted how you are so precious but very fragile
This one scarred me, scared me to my nerves
How can I keep you happy, genuinely happy
The fifth reminded me constantly to show you something you did not expect, to keep you on your toes, to keep your mind from drifting back to the bad stuff

The sixth marked the end
Ironic how this number used to make us giddy and eager to greet each other a happy anniversary
The sixth marked the constant uncomfortable silence, the fights you picked just to not talk to me
The sixth marked the words stabbing, leaving bleeding scars on the places you used to plant flowers in
The sixth marked the days ending with you thinking of someone better, someone not me
The sixth marked the words I never wished I'd hear from you
The sixth marked the "What if" question that broke me to pieces I didn't know existed
The sixth marked the dying firsts and the growing lasts, the story of a lifetime
The sixth one marked the sinking of our ship
I got my sixth for me to not forget

Why do you have so many piercings, someone asked
I bit my tongue, maybe you knew someone's going to ask about you, or me, or us
I laughed and just said, "It's to remind me of her."
11:56 PM, March 5, 2015
I have Scratched your name
into my Calendar

Your name sits on the lined of my diary
poised for consistent use

At what point did you become
so natural to me

So that when I said your name,
it tasted like nostalgia and hope

and the Cool Fire of our words
warms me to contentment

It wasn't until you spoke and
I smiled

That I knew I missed you when you
were gone

But how can I miss you
When you're only an hour away

Still
I'm regretting the wasted July Mornings

When my nerves swallowed up the sentiments that said
that I think of you sometime, even when you aren't around

It sounds frivolous to say that I'd hope for events
that would draw your lens near

But now I'm budgeting you into my time
and Just hope that it's not wasted

The effort it takes to write these sentiments down is
Nearly incomparable to that effort which must be taken

to Remind the heart on my Sleeve to stay put
and not seep into that vein that will Surely carry dreams across my body

The word that I could entitle
Perfect

And since that word is unattainable here

I'll only say all the others  

You're that feeling right after a pull
And you feel yourself slip under the friendly drowse

You're that feeling when you feel a set of eyes on your
blushing cheeks

You're the laughter of
a clever retort

You're a Melody thats gives spirit to my word

You're that fire that burns with
a bravery that you cannot see

You're that ticking clock, there to remind me
that Time is Precious

and Soon I hate that circled square on the
Calendar
&
I pray that that circle does not act as a deadline
for when your heart can be
mine

Because I like the sweetness of our fresh beginnings
And I do hope I may call it a beginning

Instead of a short story.

I'm all over the clock,
Yearning for more firsts with you

But even still, hoping for a second or 12.

And some first that could count
in a way that didn't get chalked up to

Naive Sentiments

Meaning I want you too much
And My head is rushing

Hours into this Instant.

Fast Forwarding to our Next Kiss

Sending me on a Clockwise Whirlwind
to times that may not even exist

But I still hope and Gamble
for More hours to play

Procrastinating the Seconds into convincing us all

That It's Casual

It is not Casual, to me.
David Hilburn Jul 2023
Liberate the train
Inch by inch, mile for mile
Speed is a waiting land, devoted to plain
Excuses and accusation, in the lips, all the while

Independance, is our reward
Found futures, in a problem silence, now
In last, the problems of candor before the words
Of compelling a heart to action, as if guidance allowed

Travel of the ******?
Suppose to wither with denial?
Sordid capture of a freer insanity?
Cares of presumption, to live with fear, filial?

Callous worth, we's of owed solemnity
Trading hunger for wheel's
Spare adroitness to tame a keeping nativity
Boxes of avarice, with purity to establish a host feel's

Rage, for a dream in the land
Set to firsts and lest we begin the dire harvest
Of an honest soul, that has lent avarice a hand
A thought for wishful patience, that has momentum to attest
People who know a date with infamy, notice a knocked door with best's and host's of more, problem's

— The End —