Tell me how it ended up like this?
Because I’m still trying to maneuver my way to breaking down the pieces of where it all started to go wrong.
Going back past the conversations we exchanged in my head to see the signs you’ve been hinting at me
But, I just can’t seem to figure it out
Because either you were way too good at hiding it or maybe you never wanted me to know in the first place
Or perhaps it began to go downhill the moment where I brushed things off and from then on slowly, but surely I couldn’t decipher the things you’ve been communicating to me
The secret language we used to share, the stares we had when our eyes meet and the slight brush on our arm that used to give me butterflies
Overtime slowly started to fade away
And instead it was replaced with a brick of walls separating us apart despite the fact we were once there in the same room
Maybe we both knew that someday this day would come, where it would all come to an end
And we were both trying to ignore it by not letting things escalate when we fought for the fear of things ending right there and then
Little did we know by shrugging things off it just piled to more tension and that thought behind our mind “what if it’s better if we broke it off?” but then feeling guilty for it because it wasn’t that easy to let go after years of happy memories made together
Also, the fear we both shared of having to start all over again and readjusting to a new change of pace because we got too used to the same routine
Though eventually all the built up tension and unsaid words finally got the best of us, realizing that us staying together only led up for the relationship to be toxic and insufferable
After hours of talking that had a lot of yelling and bickering we have finally agreed we were both in the wrong and the last kissed we shared, we knew to finally call it quits
Because that kiss and the embrace that came afterwards with tears from the both of us, we just knew we didn’t see each other in our own futures and mutually understanding we are far better apart than together
I haven’t posted and written in a year or so. Forgive me if I may sound off? Though, I’m glad I wrote this even if it’s short. Hope you all enjoy!
I still remember how I discovered you
It was a breezy & chilly day
It wasn’t too cold either
Just a perfect balance
There were things I was unsure of
The terrifying thought of the future
I’m scared of what the outcome would be
But when I was on the verge of a breakdown with all these thoughts
That was when I found your voice
It was one of those unexpected life changing moments
A voice that reminded me of hope.
A voice that spoke of new beginnings.
A voice that comforts me through the pain.
A voice that makes my heart flutter and giddy.
A voice that saved me.
A voice that said to keep going.
I remember a drunken night where my intoxicated mind kept bringing up someone from my past
All I heard from my head was “i hate him. i hate him so much.”
Funny how I don’t remember much of what happened that night except for when I was about to cry because of a ghost of my past was brought into my thoughts again
That’s when your song coincidentally played on shuffled
While listening to that song, my heart and mind for once finally agreed on something
It was one of those light bulb moments
A sudden realization
To let go.
To let it go for good.
To forgive them and forgive myself.
After the whole song played
My heart and mind were relief and at ease
For once in a long time I felt calm
Isn’t it ironic how I stumbled upon you during the autumn season where everything is dying
Yet finding your voice is what kept me going on that breezy and chilly autumn day.
13.20 ♡ pt. i
you know that pain when you love someone so much, it physically hurts in your chest to be apart from them.
there are moments you wish they didn’t do things that made you the happiest person alive, so maybe it wouldn’t hurt as much being away from them.
but you don’t wish that, instead you welcome and take in every emotion that comes to you. because that’s what makes you human. because being able to feel those emotions means that you once experienced a very special and significant moment in your life.
yes, there may be aching to missing someone you love so much, but being able to say that you’ve missed that person should be taken as a positive way sometimes. because you got the opportunity to have them in your life, even if it was only for a little while.
i am beyond thankful
i am the happiest
all because of you
It's like I've known you for such a long time, but in reality, we've only known each other for half a year. First things first, I want to personally thank you for being a great friend who has shown me kindness and made me feel loved. Thank you for your caring words, it really does mean quite a lot to me and I appreciate it so much. But this isn't just a prose of me being grateful, this is a reminder to you. You are a beautiful, spectacular, intelligent and strong woman, who can take on the world if they ever dare try to bring her down. That your smile is brighter than the sun and it could light up an entire galaxy. That you have the potential to make all your dreams come into reality because I know you'll be able to make it happen with your hard work. More importantly, I want you to love yourself, as much as you've shown me and others how you've loved us. I hope that your gentleness always stays with you because the world needs more people like you. You are an incredible person, who was sent from up above to share the light in this world.
Hi Hello Ju,
Before I start to ramble on I want you to know that I admire your strong-willed persona as to what you've been through and your beautiful mind. I know life is nowhere near perfect and it feels like a drag at times to keep moving forward with such little to no motivation. But I know you have the strength to defeat the voices that wanders in your mind telling you you won't make it. You have made it this far, imagine the greater distance you will go to, to get to where you want to be. You have probably ran more than an olympic athlete has ever ran in their lifetime, so you deserve a first place medal to remind you of your strength to keep on living. I know you will walk through the valleys with a silver platter and a beautiful moonrise to show you the life that you deserve. Enjoy the little moments of joy and say, "hi hello" to them and embrace it with all your might. These little things have come your way to show you that even in a cruel world, you are deserving to smile and have your moments of happiness. You are capable of love, of happiness and far more better things in this world.
Brennan. She has the brightest smile that gets you blinded by her kindness. She is patient and lovable, that the galaxies made another universe to honour for her beauty. Her sweet personality is so contagious it makes you go soft but she definitely has a witty side of her as well. She knows how to make someone laugh or smile at the right time, a considerate and admirable woman who I believe will achieve all her goals someday. I thank her for being there for me through the rough times and for the great memories that are being made each day. Though there is distance apart, she has been such an amazing friend who became a part of my life and helped turned it into a colourful and lovely one. I hope nothing but the best things for her and I hope she remembers that I am here to help with her own struggles if she ever needs it. For all I want is to help ease the stress she might feel at times. To remind her that she isn't alone in this world, that she has someone she could run to if things get rough. I am sending her lots of love and sunshine because she deserves and needs it, I hope to constantly see your beautiful bright smile in the long run.
Dear Jin, Jinelle, Michelle,
You are a sunshine through my rainy day, the purest soul who showed me light. You are an amazing precious, cute little bean that I treasure so, so much. Your brilliant mind with your strong mindset soul, I adore quite a lot. The world can be cruel and shows no mercy at times, but I want to protect you from any sort of sadness and pain that life throws at you. I want you to remember that if there are days you are down, you can lean on me. Through your darkness I'll be the sunshine and the moonlight, because my dear baby girl you deserve all the sunlight. I'll stay up all night, just to make sure you're alright. If the world or someone ignites a fire to bring you down, I will turn them into fireworks and celebrate your hard work and show you the unconditional love you deserve. Speaking of deserving, the world nor the galaxies never deserve your kindhearted soul in the first place. You bring so much joy to everyone, I hope you don't forget to smile yourself. To me I have gained a lovely, amicable, yet totally has a savage side sister. Your happiness means the world to me and from here on I will be there right beside to cheer you on.