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Alice Lovey Oct 2018
Bloom, these flowers in my heart.
From ash come hither no rot,
But arms spread open--
Embrace the traces of life still within,
I rise.
No longer sing songs of demise.
I rise for a crown that yearns as mine.

And so it is, and so I will be.
I took a long break from writing due to personal reasons. I hope to be writing more. It's been a very hard year or two for me. I feel now that I can regain my confidence and accomplish anything. As if I have finally seen some light of... "It's okay to be lost, because you will always find your way again."

So don't give up. If I can figure out what I want, so can you.
Alice Lovey Aug 2018
Piddling drip drops lightly on the dew drops,
Never ceasing, never stops.
A love that never rots.
Love you now, loved you then,
Thanks for being my inspiration when
Nothing else takes the place of you.

If I had it my way, I’d spend my life with you.

If I had it my way, I’d marry you.
But to everyone, it’s “too soon.”

Guess I’ll be a lonely sick loon.
Drink away the hours in a rainy warm room.
Trash. Will probably be deleted later.
Alice Lovey Jul 2018
Step out of the room and into the rain.
The sky is no longer gray,
But the cool drizzle washes me clean.
My skin is peeled away, like a snake;
Someone new,
Yet
Someone who is me, the one who's always been.
I had abandoned her.

Addiction
To what was never real.
Addiction.

I can see I lied to her, myself,
I can admit to my own illusions I was deluded to believe:

    I
       Do not need you.
                 I
                    Cannot save you.

The truth does not make me heartless.
Wash me clean and away the darkness.
I am compassion.
I am nurture.
I can be your friend,
Care from a distance while I mend,

Because I do not need you.
               We are not meant to be.

Now you'll have to save yourself.
Now I must love me.
Alice Lovey Jul 2018
The thought of your kiss.
How every day I miss
you and your ****** **** that ******
me off and I remember I
have to stop loving you so I
can stop hurting so bad, but why
can't I get you off my mind
and just spend one ******* evening not feeling left behind?
I feel like I'd,
just to be with you again, die.
Just to see you once I'd
rearrange a sky so I
could sleep soundly without having to cry
myself there. Personify
my optimism, turn a blind eye
and satisfy my tongue-tied
thoughts that just want to find
some peace of ******* mind
away from the "goodbye"
that repeats like a broken record inside.

Love on standby.
Love gone awry.
Alice Lovey Jul 2018
The quieter nights of "together,"
Loudly with personality
Or not saying anything at all.
Breathing,
Natural breath
In rhythm to pulsing heartbeats.
Stifled laughs.
       You don't have to do a thing.
       You don't have to prove a thing.
We're in the dark,
We're called the "lost,"
But I find something in you...
Find your place too,
At least for the night.

Arms in knots 'round each other, feeling like bursting.
A chin at the crown of my hair.
       You don't have to do a thing.
       You don't have to prove a thing.
The discomfort of bone on bone I ignore.
Please, hold me till I'm not lonely anymore.
Inspired by The Midnight's new song "Lost Boy."
Alice Lovey Jul 2018
Infectious laugh,
Untamable anger,
Excitable stories,
Well-hidden anxiety.

Misdirected blame,
Unwarranted shame.

Blue eyes.

Brown hair, red hints; I wish I could have seen it with sun tints.

Smiling...

After work.
In the middle of the night.
In the mornings.
Saturday afternoons.

Rushed calls or
A day’s worth of together.

Nightmares as dreams,
Nights without sleep.
Coffee, drugs, caffeine.
Scars.

Hopelessness.
Grief.

Aspirations.
Full of life.

Childlike heart. Easily torn, but never taken apart.
An eye for nature’s beauty.
An eye for art.
One for me, occasionally.

Insecurity. Arrogance.
Compassion. Detachment.
Weak yet enduring.
Unmoving yet learning.

Intoxicating.
Aggravating.
A liar struggling to lie.
A suicide debating to die.

Lustful gaze.
Manipulative ways.

Who were you
And why couldn’t you stay?
Vague, memories.
Alice Lovey Jul 2018
Stricken with, like fate.
Idolizing. Idealizing.
What makes it so?
Curiosity to obsession.

Obsession to love?

What is love?

Sought after, like gold.
Idolizing me.
Yet none to succeed but for a fleeting moment.
I envy those with their beloveds.

Even those whom have suffered loss, but still love.

Emptiness.
Craving the “good” feelings.
Like fantasies. Wanting someone who isn’t real.
Never to give wounds time to heal.

To invalidate, or embrace?
If I don’t know what is real
And if I don’t know who I am,
Do I follow my heart?
Or is naivety my wander?

What I seek is never mine to keep.
All stories are read, not written.
Not written by me.
Spur of the moment feelings of brokenness.
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