"fantasizing" poems
I, a woman of letters, have been waiting for you, a man of numbers. I’ve been fantasizing of the day when you would deliver at the porch of my heart your algebraic equation. The x’s and y’s merged systematically with all the symbols, forming an indelibly inked pattern that would finally make sense. I have been waiting and hoping and praying, but all I’ve got so far are your invalid equations, the confusion, the uncertainties, the unsolvable mathematical sentence that I want so desperately unscrambled. How can you not, in your genius, find the right equation, even as I now try to draft a coherent verse?
for j.e.
013115
Jan 31, 2015
Jan 31, 2015 at 11:03 AM UTC
I waited…
Waited for the music to stop
So you would stop all your dancing.
I waited…
Waited to get your attention
While the attention was on you.
I waited…
Waited my turn to be seduced
While you seduced another man.
I waited…
Waited for the dimming spotlight
So the spotlight could shine elsewhere.
I waited…
Waited on your flirtatious kiss
While you kissed every man that night.
I waited…
Waited to partake in your lust
While my lust played me as your fool.
I waited…
Waited for the music to stop
So I could stop fantasizing.
Jul 20, 2018
Jul 20, 2018 at 8:30 PM UTC
I was born in a time of veterans and freedom. Or was it killing, like when we left Eden?
I was born in a time, of oceans and salt. Or was it destruction, Atlantis had fought?
I was born in a desert, a place with a lot of hot sand. Cleopatra, Aphrodite, Egypt, all Seeing in the Land.
I was born in a Television, Hollywood starstruck was my name.
Classic, Modern or Hipster, craving fortune and fame.
I was born a telepathic, a mind reader of such. Seeking and giving out energy, requiring you of much.
I am deep, I am wide and I am always by your side. Loyal, Obedient and Giving. Taking, Fantasizing, Living.
I am quite the comic book laughter. I comedian of sorts.
I am quick to judge the living and cover up my warts.
Back to 1960, or was is 70 and 2?
When I was born a Scorpio, and no one ever knew.
May 31, 2014
May 31, 2014 at 3:22 PM UTC
Fantasizing
Feeling
Needing
Something scarce is eating at my melancholy.
As I deliberate, a vigor burns beneath my blood.
I get so warm thinking about his hands griping my hips.
My cheeks flush at the thought of his skin pressed heavily against mine.
Unalloyed ecstasy
His subsistence is the key that reveals my coffer.
I beg to feel his breathing
For him to cognize how much I want to gratify his every desire.
Slow motion when I fantasize.
A room bursting of fine riches I could erupt with gratification.
A gentleman who can pleasure me both with innocence and sensuality.
Rarity that comes as one.
He demonstrates loves configuration, he bestows complexity and certainty.
One could ****** with the thought of his supportive charisma.
I weaken at the awareness of his reciprocated needs.
The definition of love is embraced through his actions.
Bleeding perfection, he is untouchable.
He makes me feel amity.
He is the dream I want to feel as I shut my eyes at dusk.
I can sense him so close,
yet when I open my eyes
I’m alone.
He is what every women searches for.
Jul 12, 2021
Jul 12, 2021 at 10:41 PM UTC
Here you were thinking
Woww life is really great
When you have people that love you
When you have people that cherish you
When you have people that adore you
But what if, just what if thats all just in your mind
What if you made up this fantasy in your head
About everything you've ever wanted
And everything you've ever craved for
And told yourself that it exists
What if you play scenarios that happen in one way and interpret it in three ways
Multiplying the actual meaning of the scenarios
What if you give credit to a person for being themselves but themselves is a liar
What if no matter if that liar is a liar you're happy with it
As the fantasy in your head is unwilling to let go of the part that liar plays
But what if there's more than one liar
What if they're all liars
What if they've only told you what they wanted you to hear because you have high expectations of them
And they know this and you know this
So technically it's not their fault for being on the pedestals you've placed them on
It's not their fault that you're unwilling to accept the garbage of this world
It's not their fault that you keep fantasizing about a happy life with any and everyone that can adore you
What if, just what if you can actually find that someday?
What if you never find that
You're tired of actively searching for people to give you what you can give them
You're tired of being this woman that expects
And expects
And expects
Should you or could you maintain this fantasy without completely
And utterly falling apart
From shame, from pain from torment
Or should you just let it all go and just..
Just ....
-fir.m
Jan 24, 2021
Jan 24, 2021 at 5:44 AM UTC
The music plays away the demons in my head.
The demons with the stolen voices of angels.
Or maybe I'm the demon?
Twisting the voices of angels to sounds like demons.
Am I in heaven or hell?
Or am I in both?
Wrong.
They're the same thing.
Yin and yang...
The heaven in hell
And the hell in heaven
The fear of falling
And the fondness of fantasizing
Jun 25, 2016
Jun 25, 2016 at 4:26 AM UTC
I hate you.
Almost as much as I love you.
I've been fantasizing about stabbing you in the legs the way I used to fantasize about kissing your face.
I thought that I had one person I could always count on,
I just knew you'd never betray me.
Guess I was wrong.
You broke my heart,
I want to break your spine.
You make the worst ex ever, and now you're mine.
I want to hurt you the way you hurt me.
I want to stuff glass into your arteries.
I want you to stop saying you're sorry.
I want you to invent a time machine,
So this'll never've happened.
So neither of us will've learned this lesson.
"Darling you're the world to me"
"My love, you make me so happy"
What an idiot I was to believe these things.
Now you've got me writing slam poetry
Because I figure it's better than murdering you-
And that little ***** you ****** too.
You were drunk!
You felt alone,
You were confused,
And guess who was right there to comfort you?
That's no excuse.
I sure hope going down on someone new,
Was worth throwing that rare and beautiful thing we had away.
I never knew someone could hurt me this way.
Oh and by the way, I hate you.
Oct 27, 2014
Oct 27, 2014 at 10:15 PM UTC
By you
I'm bitten,
smitten,
I'm not kidding.
How you got me,
Don't stop
Darling, won't you stay?
Four score,
seven years before
Knock, knock
I'm knocking at your door
Make it so hard
to bite my tongue,
Lower my guard,
*crumble at the sight
of your face.*
Just one taste.
Cause I've been
fiendin,
fantasizing.
Bending over
back and sideways.
Can't put out the fire,
Wish I could deny.
This girl,
Brings out the beast in me.
I wonder
If this Wild heart
will spark my defeat.
Oh this girl
could be the death of me
I resolve,
to never self sabotage.
Second time around,
Maybe I'm too proud.
But your lips
they keep me wanting,
***** hips
You won't stop flaunting.
Just a moment with you,
(But you never let me through.)
Two-tone,
smile then fake it
Just enough love
To keep me baited.
But then
she said, she said
*"baby it's too late,
there's no maybe
I've give up on you
There's nothing left to do."*
*"My bags are packed
I'm gone tomorrow,
for what you lack
it brings no sorrow.*
*I've given up on you,
there's nothing left to do"*
Every little rhyme
And every reason.
Colors of the year,
And every season-
Pales to all my fears,
scared what's in the mirror.
Oh, I can't take it.
Can't take it no more.
This girl,
Brings out the beast in me.
I wonder If this Wild heart
will spark my defeat.
Oh this girl
could be the death of me
I resolve...
What can I learn from this?
Dec 15, 2015
Dec 15, 2015 at 2:26 AM UTC
Every night I dream of pleasing you
in different ways.
Fantasizing of freaking you
dust till dawn, many days.
I'm not addicted
but your body, I badly crave.
Butterflies enter my heart
with the slightest gaze.
you spoke, I smiled
I fell in love with the sweetest hey.
This is not a hot new trend
of what’s cool or what’s in.
This a lovers story darling,
and you are the fairytale that I wish would never end.
Dec 1, 2014
Dec 1, 2014 at 2:20 PM UTC
Empty days, lonely nights
How i long to hold you in this painful life.
I'm the product of misery.
No, i'm not asking for you to save me
I guess i just miss your company.
Forever lonely.
Why doesn't this place seem like home to me?
I'm uselessly drifting through this beautiful nightmare.
Maybe i'm just scared..
Of what? Maybe myself.
Oh god this hurts like hell.
This mental state makes me want to yell.
Trying my hardest to stay strong,
Yet everything i do and say is wrong.
Constantly slipping into isolation,
I just want to change my situation.
Finding myself lost in my mind,
doing nothing but wasting precious time.
Always dreaming of a better life,
doing my best to avoid the knife.
If only i was better at standing alone.
Maybe then i could figure out my life and find my way home.
Too pre-occupied fantasizing about finding another,
to love, to trust and have a good time with one another.
I carry with me a damaged heart.
I'm trying not to fall apart.
So focused on trying to be a better me,
Still nothing is working can't you see?
I ache to find someone,
to have a better connection.
to travel the planet with a better sense of direction.
Feeling haunted by the demons in my mind and the ghosts of my past.
Still chasing a happiness that i hope will last.
I'm still trying to rid myself of the darkness that follows me.
Only to find that i'm fading away, almost completely.
Dec 18, 2013
Dec 18, 2013 at 1:40 PM UTC
The night has been commissioned
to awaken in me
the ubiquitous longing for your touch.
The mindlessness consumes me
when I wander from dream to dream,
fantasizing the ever after
that’ll mysteriously become present
once you touch.
The exuberant charm in every swipe
of the breeze broadens a smile,
reminding me of the endless passion
for good humor and intense delight
that you decree in large measures
whilst I quail in love.
It is diabolical, this game you play
of keeping in shadows
while I wither,
in the unremitting glare of the sun
that keeps me on the banks of the dark lake
leaving me with only
a few drops to wet my hand.
I will implore to have an end
to this ceaseless battle of restraint and abandon,
But am only left with a tremulous belief,
it is all not false what I see,
in the glorious mist that night casts,
I do not only sleep.
Nov 13, 2012
Nov 13, 2012 at 2:05 PM UTC
He got his hands in his pants
obsessing about her
fantasizing her touching him
who wouldn't ?
she had a body of a goddess
tattooed brown skin
curvy body
with and average sized assets
he wanted to her
solely for ***
but he's no different from the rest
the queue of guys
lining up
with their hands in their pants
trying their best
to get their **** in her
May 22, 2020
May 22, 2020 at 2:09 PM UTC
Creating chaos to escape the madness.
Loosing my level headed,
Out of control mind.
Over thinking a fear of overly thinking.
A solid, shattered rock.
Building it up only to demolish it.
Giving up on giving in.
Wholly torn.
Level headed, fool.
Out of control, control freak.
Loving enough to hate.
Giving enough to steal.
Caring enough lie.
Insane enough to try.
Wholly torn.
Level headed, fool.
Out of control, control freak.
Lonely, company.
Without company...lonely.
Profoundly shallow.
Hopefully doomed.
Fantasizing reality.
Wholly torn.
Level headed, fool.
Out of control, control freak.
Jan 8, 2011
Jan 8, 2011 at 2:48 PM UTC
You proposed when we were 6.
I never forgot you.
We dated when we were 17.
I blew you in a park.
You blew my mind
and my heart away.
We drifted into separate lives
when we went away to college
but dad never
gave me the messages.
Now you're married unhappily.
5 years of fantasizing about me.
You found me
on social media.
We've chatted for months.
Yesterday, you told me
about the dreams--
the ones I haunt.
You tell me your dirtiest thoughts.
You tell me about the pedestal
you where I reside;
I could never live
up to your fantasy.
And I don't want to.
I've thought about you
my entire life.
I gave it up when I found out
you were married.
Then you found me.
Now you're in my head.
I'm the unwilling mistress
of your mind.
I never injected myself there.
So why do I feel so guilty?
I want your friendship.
You still make me laugh.
This isn't fair.
There's nothing in it
for me.
You have everything
to lose.
How did this become my ***** little secret?
Why did you have to get married?
Why can't you get a divorce?
Why can't I quit you?
Oct 18, 2012
Oct 18, 2012 at 7:24 PM UTC
*How wondrous,
the romantic heart
that beats
within my breast.
Often do I listen
and within
my mind caress.
The thoughts and sights
that float before
the fantasizing eye.
'Tis much more fun
to dream and
let reality go by.*
Jun 15, 2017
Jun 15, 2017 at 4:35 PM UTC
i couldn't stop looking at this girl. i glanced down at my black leather jacket, black v-neck, ripped blue jeans, and black boots with the buckles on the side. i popped my collar and set out to find the girl i'd just found. i noticed the lights of this weird indie club i'd somehow ended up in. this music isn't normal "club" music. it's all arctic monkeys. the lyrics of these songs empowered me, i felt as though i had to continue my search for this soul. despite the darkness, i slid on my aviators to protect myself from those blinding lights, and also to give me a hint of mysteriousness. girls love that.
and then there she was.
sipping on what appeared to be a bottle of coke, but i couldn't tell because of the ******* sunglasses i was wearing. she was standing laughing with one of her friends. she had such a different aura to her. i couldn't help but watch as she pulled out one of her organic cigarettes.
"i wanna make her mine." i thought to myself.
the lights reflected off the sweat on the walls as i tried to keep my cool, strutting my way over to her, hoping to get her eyes to lock onto mine. from what i finally saw of her in plain sight, she had love in her eyes and perfect lighting over her; like a camera plus filter. she took drags of that cigarette like some kind of goddess, causing me to get weak at the knees and form a lump in my throat, which i soon managed to somehow swallow. i had to find out who she was. i wanted her more than i'd ever wanted anything, or at least so i recall. i played out the scene in my head - we'd dance, and numerous guys would approach her. it was hard not to. i'd overpower them. "she's with me.", i'd say cooly.
i didn't realize all this fantasizing about my mystery girl had taken me so little time, because by the time i was finished my train of thought, i was standing right in front of her. god, i wanted her so bad. i swear, if i looked at her long enough, she'd steal my soul. the love in her eyes was contradicted by the incredibly **** sparkle in her iris.
"hello there beautiful. you seem to be having a lovely time. you're absolutely breathtaking, i'm forced to believe you are a certified mind blower. what's your name, milady?"
with a turn of her head, a bat of her lashes, and a flash of her perfect smile, she answered me in the most angelic voice i've ever heard.
"arabella."
Jan 6, 2014
Jan 6, 2014 at 7:36 PM UTC
dark tendrils flirt with her eyes
people pass her ugly
she daydreams of throats split open
you think she’s pretty
smiling to herself
using her ***
to get you excited
it’s better when the blood is flowing
at her dinner table
long fingers confident
pouring a pitiful glass of wine
creeping up your thighs
touching herself,
fantasizing of what you’ll look like
you catch yourself whining
attracted to this fear
teeth biting the broken lip
yes, this is good
scratching at the pretty ankles
searching beneath this gushing blood
loving the smell of it
dripping
blood pools under her french tips
mouth aching in ecstasy
licking her poison lips
she loves the feeling of this
“i could get used to this”
Sep 27, 2018
Sep 27, 2018 at 1:31 AM UTC
You were the sun, she was the moon, and I was the rain.
You, the sun,
would rise every morning, sometimes accompanied by the most
beautiful array of colors, other times with dark clouds so deep,
suffocating—your rays couldn't even attempt to shine through.
She, the moon,
would go away every morning, just as you were rising,
because she knew that you would be too busy fantasizing about
the mysterious rain that you could never love her liked she wanted you to.
I, the rain,
would come and go, loud and soft, hard and gentle.
I never saw you, the sun, give off your beautiful, majestic colors
because whenever I would come, clouds would shield you from
being able to send me your love in the form of tremendous hues
that would have made me stay in love with you forever.
If it weren't for the rain, maybe the sun would have fallen in love with the moon.
If it weren't for the clouds, maybe the rain would have stayed in love with the sun.
But the moon shines brighter alone in the night sky than it ever would next to the sun,
and the sun is much more beautiful without the rain.
That is why the rain went away.
It had fallen in love with the sun because it felt like the sun was
the only thing that had also experienced the storm, but the
difference between the sun and the rain is the sun shined after each storm.
But the rain disappeared.
The rain could never see the sun shine.
Jul 5, 2023
Jul 5, 2023 at 12:26 AM UTC
These little things with their little things
( aptly, like pigs in blankets )
sit in their little worlds with little minds
With little senses and little knowledge
they look at all things with little perceptions
and little understanding
cocooned in their little lives with little desired
and little expected
which means
A lot of time for self loathing, a lot of time frustrated
A lot of time depressed, a lot of time unfulfilled,
a lot of time for mischief, a lot of time for hating
a lot of time deluded. a lot of time wasted nursing delusions
a lot of time fantasizing writing deluded ********
a lot of time projecting their ignorance and in pain
a lot of time for anger, a lot of time for mediocrity
a lot of time for distraction, a lot of time to be nothing
but totally and completely foolish and repulsive
but
Spare a thought for ignorance is bliss
and misery needs company
how can the unloved want others to love
why would a little one wish to know a magnum is in action
why would the frustrated ******* want others to scream in
******** throes
why would little damaged things want happiness for others
why would restless frenzied things want peace and goodwill
when they are just little things with Ninety nine problems
and ******** helps hide their twitching
These little things, with their little minds
and their little lives
poor pathetic little things .........
Dec 20, 2018
Dec 20, 2018 at 9:04 AM UTC
Sitting alone in my bed,
Anxiously yearning the touch of something different.
Contemplating about differences,
Visualizing the new experiences,
Mesmerizing about different beauties,
Fantasizing the new opportunities,
About women of different cultures,
Ethnicity and upbringing.
Pay no mind to the language barrier,
As our body speak that universal language,
We can have intellectual conversations,
We can have passionate interactions.
Lets's ponder with deep imagination,
As we diversify this love, ignore it's discrepancies,
So girls of all colors come closer and get drawn like crayola,
As we paint this picture to see what we can make of this blend of colors.
Envision this:
Background music effectively babysitting my thoughts as I listen,
Laying under the moon,
With that special person.
Inwardly rehearsing,
Every move to make,
Opportunities to take,
Intaking the passion from the air she breathes out,
Creating chemistry not even Einstein could figure out.
This love should be an equal opportunity,
You plus me that's all that should matter.
So would you explore your heart?
Release the stereotypes that keep you in the dark?
As darkness falls,
Our temperatures rise.
A reflection of moonlight shimmers in those eyes.
They tell me your secrets;
I tell you no lies.
What lies beneath your skin will be ugliness' demise.
Ironic, in the dark you see me for who I truly am.
And I tell you who you truly are.
So far. So good.
So deep, it goes beneath your beauty,
It goes beyond whatever society will tell you not to do with me.
Tonight your biases shall not rule thee,
For I am king of this pride.
Swallow your pride and swallow my pride.
Release the wait of inhibition and take this ride.
Our inner flames fueled by passion shall light our way.
They say, we are blind but it is only in darkness that we truly see.
Give up shallow emotions, let your heart be free.
Immerse yourself in this reality:
My love is river, all else is only skin deep.
Jul 8, 2013
Jul 8, 2013 at 7:11 AM UTC
Hot summer forest, sweat and dawn’s faint light,
My feet in time with sighs of willow trees,
Bare cheeks and skin, dew-glossed and shining bright,
My ******* sway freely, ******* hard in breeze,
Moss meets my wetness—harmonies, soft lies
Nightbirds perform their final song with ease,
While fireflies blink out their last goodbyes,
Alone, I’m cradled close by nature’s sweet surprise,
An ****** of dawn—my body soaring as I rise.
In dappled gold, a turtle halts my stride,
Her ancient fortress shell, a gaze unblinking,
Paused, I’m exposed—no secret folds to hide—
Her slow, wise eyes undress me, softly blinking.
“Old mother,” I sigh, “what are you thinking?”
Does my left breast seek the gentle morning sky?
Do wild curls shame me, or my fantasizing?
Do you see ******* not a perfect doll’s eye?
The forest hushes, breathless, waiting for her reply.
I study flesh—each mile sculps *** and breast,
Do I run for her, or am I just insane?
The rush of blood, feeding animal unrest,
Her body in our bed—my lust, a hurricane.
She’s dawn’s first glow; I’m shadow, bound by chain.
Does this sweat feed her gaze, or pool between thighs?
I pass fat faces, screens glued, cold with disdain—
I’d rather die in wildness, in open skies,
My body, food for forest, feasted by butterflies.
Jul 6, 2025
Jul 6, 2025 at 12:24 PM UTC
Crush:
An intense but usually short-lived infatuation.
Fantasizing about the relationship that could happen.
Shy:
Timid, easily frightened away.
Although the wanting to just say hey.
Wonderwall:
Someone you find yourself thinking about all the time, the person you are completely infatuated with.
But the wish for all the shyness to disappear is still here.
Nervous:
Highly excitable; unnaturally or acutely uneasy or apprehensive.
The wanting to meet but still playing defensive. Accommodated by umm, uhh, ummm.
Hello:
Used to express a greeting, answer a telephone, or attract attention.
Hi, umm. Don't blow it, don't blow it.
Hi! I think you're cute, pretty, adorable, beautiful, lovely, gorgeous. Would you like to go on a date?
Date:
A social appointment, engagement, or occasion arranged beforehand with another person.
She said yes.
Happy:
Delighted, pleased, or glad, as over a particular thing.
She is not just a thing, she is my everything. She makes me very happy.
Love:
A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
It's a four letter word that can have a million meanings and yet only one.
Marry:
To take as an intimate life partner by a formal exchange of promises in the manner of a traditional marriage ceremony.
I take you to be my wife to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us apart, and this is my solemn vow. I love you.
You:
You mean so much,
Yet I do not have a definition.
Because you always seem to surprise me.
No words in this dictionary can describe your overall beauty.
Amazingly, I'm at a lost of words.
Beautiful:
The dictionary's crush;
A person who is reading this.
Jan 6, 2014
Jan 6, 2014 at 9:09 PM UTC
the regret, that depreciating voice in your head
that chastises you, calls you stupid, a coward
and you look back and agree with it
ignoring that hindsight is always 20/20
and i know the one you're with now provides you with all that you ever needed
possibly more than i could ever have
but that doesnt make it feel any better
as incredibly selfish as it is to feel one should "belong" to another
and as much as such a bond could destroy a beautiful friendship such as ours
despite fantasizing "stealing" you away
as if you were an object
as much as the guilt of that very thought
weighs down my spirit everytime you cross my mind
the temptation to bear my soul to you gets greater each time
it hurts
deeply
and i cant help but wonder, what if
and now i hate myself for it
Jan 16, 2015
Jan 16, 2015 at 1:33 AM UTC