Towers as high as I am when my fingers touch yours. The rush of people and mumbles of complete strangers talking to one another like rain talks to cement. The new eyes locking on mine, smiles with glowing teeth hiding behind pale skin.
The lights, the cars, the noises, the new surroundings.
It makes me think,

why didn't I leave home sooner?

You turn left and right,  
you're on the right path you know it too.
Your feet know it.
You try to ignore all the sensations and vibes that you know come all at once like the wind. It happens less then a few times but those are the times that that left and right seem so beyond impossible to follow.

You
try
and
try
to ignore it.
You
try
and
try
to shove it farther down into you.
You
try
and
try
to blame it on something else.
You
try
and
try
to inflict it.

You try and nothing works.

Two is better than one.
This is why humans are born with;

Two feet to walk us through the obstacles of life.
Two legs to hold the weight of ourselves through the lowest of times.
Two arms to carry those who need our help.
Two hands to treasure the littlest things in our life with such care.

But we were only given one heart and one mind, to find the second in someone who we find just as perfect as our true self.

I'm done crying,
but my mind has not.

It's writhing in pain and misery,
but my heart has stopped.

Every muscle frozen and stiff,
I can't.
Getting up and turning over,
I can't.

I don't know how much more of this sickness can take over,
I can't.
Getting up and turning over,
I can't.

Work is impossible.
Life is impossible.
I am impossible.

This sickness is winning,
I can't.
This sickness is winning,
*I can't win.

The only part
I like about
fighting with you
is loving you

afterwords...

Not one but two, it gives you the diversity and creates that possible outcome that no one will understand.
To you it's clear, it has a reason, only to make you happy.
When you see it you know it.
You get lost in perfect stillness.
It all makes sense when you can't let go.
When you look you see exactly what you need to see.
Look deeper and you see what they want you too see.
Inflection is the strongest feeling.
When I look, I see what no one else will or can but it's perfect.
I don't want them seeing what I see.

Otherwise it wont be as special  as it is.

Ive become
this permifried *****
this unintelligent underachiever
this messy mistake
The drugs in me now are nothing compared to what you did to me

using big words to
make you
sound smart,

isn't smart

i dont miss you...
                      i miss the...
                                   *idea...
                                   *of you...

i lost the love of my life
to the east coast shore
now,
to only have the pain
of a thousand heart breaks
trying to move on