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Sydney Marie Apr 2016
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It is always nice to know that you're not alone
but








It is also awful to know that they feel what you feel.
-
Sydney Marie Apr 2016
-
I've never been selfish.
always playing by the rules people were talking about.


I've never been selfish.
always the one getting hurt in the end.


I've never been selfish.
always feeling like I'm invisible to everyone.



I need to be selfish just once.
hashtag trying to be positive when all seems hopeless
^
That would have been a great 10w but its only 9w..
Worst day ever, dumb.
10w
Sydney Marie May 2016
10w
Time is moving much quicker.

and I,


cannot keep up.
6w
Sydney Marie Jul 2015
I don't think I want this anymore
Its so much like the last
Its everything like the last
I don't remember hating it so much
my friend made me realize this today
this is also super ******, so my apologies, it just looked nice in the text box...
-smw
Sydney Marie Apr 2014
My throat closes and my eyes water.
My legs can't hold my body and my hands tremble.
My mind scatters and the only thing that's clear is how sharp the knife is and how cold it is against my skin.
The darkness overwhelms me as the ruby red line runs down my leg, down my arm, down my stomach.
The silence drowns out the music and puts much more emphasis on how fast and hard my heart pumps blood through my body.
My fingers go numb as the knife falls from my hand and as my limp body falls to the river below.
Sydney Marie Jul 2016
my mind is huge and difficult to get in,
                   i know what it's like
                                   so i close black holes
           and show you beautiful constellations
                                                 ­          and brave planets
                                   that linger there
a little something personal for a change.

Life has been crazy lately, hope everyone is well.
-Sydney
Sydney Marie Jan 2015
I wondered about you
I got you
I had you
I loved you
I cried over you
And over
And over
And over
And then i lost you

yet i have you.
I see you everyday.
You tell me you love me.
Ive been through losing you.
And i can't even let go for real.
Sydney Marie Jan 2015
"Having depression and anxiety is so conflicting because, its wanting to do everything, but wanting to do nothing at all, its wanting to score high on a test, but not having the energy to study, its being afraid to lose your best friends, but not having the energy to hang out with them, its sitting in your bed at 3 in the morning worrying about the future you don't even want to have."
Not mine-
Found quote-
Sydney Marie Oct 2014
With every strum and every note,
he gets
sweeter
and sweeter.

The taste of his lips seem to be dragging my body closer to him, the smell of his cologne and the look in his eye drags me closer. The fascination with getting to know him and how his hands feel in mine.
Its not fair.
Its not fair.
Seeing his face and wanting more, seeing his body and wanting more. Seeing his hands and wanting so much more.
i thought i fell in love overnight
Sydney Marie Oct 2014
I think
people who
end up being
comfortably alone
are
the only people
who realized
the saying
“You are more of a threat to yourself then anyone else.”
was a complete lie
they end up
eating
sleeping
living
alone
they end up
thinking that
every human
they come into counter with
will hurt them further
they end up
seeing themselves
as
their
own
savior
Sydney Marie Jan 2015
he gives me bad anxiety,
the kind
that makes
you want to
sleep for *days
Sydney Marie Jan 2015
I want to tell you i miss you
But im more frightened by the thought of your responce
I remember all these things
Dancing in the living room,
Dancing by the campfire,
Dancing in the streets.

You still have my heart but i could never tell you that.
Sydney Marie Nov 2014
It takes
a big heart to get through the darkest of darkness.

It takes
a strong willing to want and get what you need and want.

It takes
a old soul's knowledge to break down the big bits and turn them into something of understanding.

Its takes
patients and love.

It takes
more then just a pretty face to go through hell.
I swear I'm not writing to lash out at someone..
Sydney Marie Dec 2014
What would you do,
if you had a short amount of time left?

Would you travel?
Would you fall in love?
Would you believe in something new?
Would you give up early?
Sydney Marie Sep 2014
An induced trigger by what is thought to be proper,
healthier then the other options.
Wide eyes and wandering thoughts,
distracting everything from anything.
The taste and the rush.
Followed by the numbness and silence.
That beautiful noise that only happens,
when the dependent comes into play with
a precious mind
a heavy soul
a broken heart.
I wrote this while experiencing *** for the first time.
Sydney Marie Sep 2014
There's a world of dust floating just beyond where your sense of sound can't reach. The old, the new. The old, the young. They share our world with us, they live among us, yet no one has yet to discover the voices that tremble and shake because a loved one is gone.
Sydney Marie Sep 2014
It's a Sphere we live in. This circle of us, created by us, lived by us. Within the never ending shape we rage wars and make love, hold rally's and hands, we run, we cry, we fall, we learn. We evolve. What will become, 20, 30, 300 years from now? This Sphere we live in was meant to be flat.
Sydney Marie Nov 2014
i need
to stop shutting down
every time you like her picture
i need
to stop shutting down
every time you text her phone
i need
to stop shutting down
every time you say her name
i need
to stop shutting down
at the thought of losing you to *her
Sydney Marie Sep 2014
Just fathom for a moment, someone actually understanding what you want to be heard.
Having someone nod or smile at the fact that they have the same issue or looking at some painting and feeling the same emptiness and sadness as you do.
Just that the mind can comprehend such a fact that someone else could understand such a disaster of a title wave.
Everything that was left behind, they saw the same wreckage as you.
ESP
Sydney Marie May 2017
ESP
my dreams control me, so i need to learn how to control *them
Sydney Marie Apr 2015
It was slipping into lukewarm water
telling me you loved someone else.
Nothing broke, but everything shattered.
Sydney Marie May 2014
Dreaming can improve the imagination so the reality of it all doesn't seem so raw and cold to the touch. Feeling yourself completely drift off, so peacefully. It's a suicide mission everyone survives. But having your eyes half closed nothing can be accomplished. Dreams seem real, life like, as if someone was chasing you. As if someone was hurting you. As if someone had you under all their control. As if someone wanted your dreams and you, dead.
Sydney Marie Oct 2014
Its hard knowing which way is left and right.
But no matter where you turn it's somewhere, where you planned to be. Knowing that a plan has been already set in motion the day you were born makes the turning so much more easy to relate to when your lost. Knowing that wherever you end up is where your suppose to be.
You know you've ****** up
but
that's
where
your
suppose
to
god
****
be.
Sydney Marie Apr 2014
Some people have different outlets.
Some people run to clear their head, some people cut.
Every release, is the mind relaxing, in the most simplest way the body can find.
To help the mind get rid of the darkness that overwhelms and clouds judgement,
decisions,
courage,
power.
Some people call this darkness, fear.
Yet no matter what outlet someone has, you can't run or sing or cut away fear that your mind holds. Fear shows humans that the world isn't always good and positive. Without a bad day, how would we as humans know what a good day is?
Sydney Marie Dec 2016
Love is selfish.
Love is not a game to be played or won.
It is a selfish act.
And boy,
You make me want to be on center stage.
Happy Holidays to those who are celebrating this week. I wish you all a safe and lovely time with friends and loved ones.
Sydney Marie Apr 2014
Its like nothing words can describe.
One minute you're there, but it happens all to fast to know why.
But why does it all matter?
Nothing does.
At every step of the way, its like nothing before.
It doesn't make sense, but than again, it doesn't need to.
When things happen you can't stop them.
They have to happen.
Not only for you, but for the development of your life and who you are going to be as a person.
It's not fate.
It's what needs to happen.
Sydney Marie Oct 2014
He was the apple I took a bite out of,

savored every droplet of juice that squished out of every bite.
He was the sculpture I touched so softly,

felt every line and bump that my fingers ran over countless times.
He was the boundaries that I climbed over,

adventurous and reckless not worrying about a care in the world.
I was to hungry, I was to longing for touch,

I was to young to know he was a forbidden fruit.
Something I should have never touched.
Sydney Marie Apr 2014
Forget his name, you must forget.
You murmur in your sleep.
Forget his face, try even through closed eyes.
Forget his touch, one that you miss so.
Forget all the times you shared.
Forget the feelings he made you feel.
Forget his words, all those promises still unkept.
Sydney Marie May 2015
I can't stand
that I'm
looking at four empty walls
and
a plain white ceiling


while you're
looking at glasses filled with liquor
and
girls with prettier brown eyes
Sydney Marie Jun 2015
I wanna punch walls
And throw glass
And curse all the curse words

Yet I stay still and quiet.
Sydney Marie Nov 2014
they come around corners
steal the sights of the people
who matter to me most
things aren't the same anymore
it's not just a soft landing
we fell through
all my past
its here
its now
their everywhere
there surrounding you
afraid they might take over
Sydney Marie Jul 2014
Nothing could have been worst until it was a given that a human could be lost like this. So now what do you do? You can't go back, not after that, just hoping that the noise happened to stop. But no; One right then a left and a straight, then once again you stop and think; What now?

Left-Right, Left-Right.

Hours pass. Still nothing, until you realized your power is to weak.
So you just keep on going.

Left-Right, Left-Right.
Sydney Marie Sep 2014
Memories are all some people have left of other people.

Memories of good times spent together making smiles, friends, acquaintances and enemies along the way. Memories only exist when the past becomes so distant that you only remember the sounds and smells and feelings that came along with it.

Those 'Remember When's' when you're with someone.
Those 'Remember That's'  when you're not with someone.

**But just remember,
if you go,
shes coming with you.
Sydney Marie Apr 2015
Thick skin at the age of 16.
Thoughts with more power at 17.
Tongue painted silver at the age of 18.

19.
19.
19.
Sydney Marie Feb 2016
Some days I know why I carry on,
but
Days like today,

I have no idea why.
Him
Sydney Marie Apr 2015
Him
It seemed that it was only after you had laid on me,

that I could start to make you comfortable.

Then you wanted to go to bed with me every night,

because it was so **** easy for you to get on top of me.
Sydney Marie Mar 2016
How
did you manage to get all of what you wanted
when all you wanted while you were with me,
was to do nothing.
Sydney Marie Feb 2022
how do you grieve for someone who is still here?
Sydney Marie May 2014
Reminding you of your childhood, how the only cutting involved was arts and crafts. How the only drug involved was to get rid of a cough. How the only imitation was of our parents and siblings for a laugh. This shell of purity and wholeness can break at any give time in someone's life, when something extravagant happens to take over the innocence.
A knife
A drug
A copycat
Sydney Marie Mar 2016
It takes two to tango, but you don't know how to dance.
Sydney Marie Jan 2018
my fingers can trace you with my eyes closed and you not there
Sydney Marie Apr 2017
"They're not attacking you, they're attacking your idea because you were louder then anyone else."
Sydney Marie Apr 2014
When you fall in love with a boy,
you fall in love with love with the curves of his shoulders, the angles of his collarbones.
You fall in love with the color of his eyes and the softness of his lips.
You fall in love with his cheekbones, you fall in love with every eyelash, every freckle.

You fall in love with everything.
I don't want to take full credit, because I did get this from my tumblr URL user, who I follow. However, it has been a while since I wrote this, so it might be slightly different then what she had wrote.
Thanks for understanding,
- To the person who wrote this
Sydney Marie Nov 2014
I remember telling you

not to fall in love with me.

I warned you then,

I should have told myself the same. You touched me and I exploded,*

Its not what I want.
Its not what I need,

but god
you make it so easy.
To easy,


You beat me at my own game.
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