Withering away to nothing.
Slowly dying.
Can't stop feeling like I'm the only one.
Nothing is in my way.
To just end it all.

My pain comes from within.
My pain goes deeper into my soul.
My love dies right here.
It penetrates you then kills you.

I've hurt so many people but I can't hurt you.
I just want to be strong.
I just want to know who I am.
Why don't I know?

Why can't I be normal?
Why can't everything be easy?
Why can't I be in control?
My mind is broken.

My life is upside down.
My love is hard to find.
My faith is nonexistent.
Everything is ruined.

Every night I dream of death.
Every night is worse than the last.
Every dream is on fire.
All night long I cry.

All night I stay awake.
All day I think about that nightmare.
All but three think I'm crazy.
My three best friends.

My last days were rough.
But I got to spend it with my family.
They have taken care of me from the moment they adopted me.
They nursed me back to health.
They bathed me.
They found out that I like to eat everything including my kennel.
Last year we found out that I was sick.
They did everything they could do to help me.
We exercised all the time.
We played at the dog park with others like me.
My sister Journey took my passing the hardest.
But it was for the best.
I was in pain and I knew it was time.
I stopped eating and playing with my family.
I just layed there and did nothing.
I wanted to live longer but they couldn’t help me at the doctors.
I tried to fight it as long as I could.
My dad showed up with Journey in tears.
Siearra and mommy were the ones that brought me to the doctors that day.
I figured out what was going on.
I was thankful that I was going to be out of pain finally.
My dad I have never seen him like that before.
I love them all I always will.
I fought the medicine they gave me.
It took so long to say goodbye.
They didn’t want to neither did I.
It was scary as I left but I felt no pain.
My family gave me lots of treats before I left.
I will miss them always.
They were the best family I have ever had.
Thank you family for everything that you have done for me.
Thank you for making my life more enjoyable.
Thank you for loving me.
Thank you.

I'm trying to find my groove again
I haven't been able to feel the words that I type.
Its like nothing speaks to me now.
How can I fix this?
Any advice. Im reaching out to my followers..

I see him in the hallways everyday at school.
I see him with his friends all day long.
But he doesn't want anything to do with me.
All he says and does makes me feel worse.
He doesn't say anything at all to me.
The way he looks at me makes me feel betrayed.
The way I still feel about him will never change.

When he smiles, the way his eyes sparkle, and his dimples show.
The way he laughs, and moves makes me fall even deeper in love.

I wish you were here.
Holding me tightly.
Arms wrapped around my side's.
Kissing my head.
Cuddling until we are dead asleep.
Just wishing you were here instead of alone without me...
I miss holding your hand.
I miss looking into your eyes.
Your lips on mine.
I miss when you smile with your eyes and your heart.
I love that you are always there for me to talk to.
To hold me when I cry.
To help me up when I fall down.
You are the one.
The one that I love.

Love why does it have to be so weird..
Why does it come when you barely know the person?
How do you know if you really love that person?

Love is what you make it it can be harsh it can be amazing.
It comes when you like the person's personality and the way they act and looks at you.
You feel like you can trust him/her with everything you are you show them the way you look at your worst and they still stay and love you no matter what.

My home is in your arms.
My home is where ever my family is.
The places that I go is only one step further to were I belong.
My home is the place that I am safe.

My family is my "home" per se.
Everything that is theirs is mine.
Everything that is mine is theirs.
My home is wherever they are.

My place is with you.
My heart is with you.
You are my "second home".
The love is true.

The faith is real.
You are the one that is keeping me safe.
You are saving me as I am saving you.
Don't forget that you are my "second home"

Suicide...
Only the strongest and the most beautiful do it.
Their are ways around it.
Yet everyone around us don't see what is happening.
Everything that may seem it is turning against you it might be for the worse or the better.
The most precious in our lives can be the worst in discretion.
Those we see everyday may think that you are "okay" but really your not..
They think that your just tired.. but in reality your not fine at all.
Speak what you are thinking. Say what you want to see. Do what you must to be heard and show them that you are not okay.

This pain inside.
Is eating away at my soul.
This pain is killing me.
The way it feel is is like torture.
Nothing can stop this pain.
Nobody can help me now.
Im already gone.
No turning back now.

Thank you all that are following me! I just reached 100 Followers. Im so happy that I can share my work you you all.

When I see you
I fall so deep.
When I love you
I began to weep.

When I first lost you
I began to flee
When I finally found you
I jumped into you with glee.

When I realized I loved you
I was scared
When I found my way
I started to think.

When I think
My thoughts are jumbled.
When they are jumbled
I don't know what to expect.

When I'm dazed off
I'm calm
When I'm calm
Im also tense

When things go down hill
I think and think until I feel sick
When I think to much
I start to go.........

*When i hear your voice
I hear my favorite songs
And sometimes i have to sing you
All day long

When i feel you in my arms
I'm snug within our bed
And then time to walk away
Is the only time i dread

Love.
Why does it have to be so hard.
Love hurts.
My heart is in pieces.
My trust is gone.
Broken.
Nobody has tried to help.
**** love.
I love myself thats all that should matter.
I trust myself.
I will not hurt myself.
I help myself up when I am down.
I am in control.

Love is a funny thing.
Love causes joy.                         Then pain.
It is happiness.                            Then sadness.

I miss you.
I love you.
You complete my heart
That was missing
You are not perfect far from it
But I love you
Just the way you are.

Nothing you can say can hurt me.
Nothing you do can push me down.
Everything they say is not true.
Everything they do is wrong.
But is also right.

It doesn't burn me it makes me feel alive and happy.
It is so comforting.

How do men feel when their heart breaks?
How do they feel when they are in love?
Do they get butterflies in their belly?
Do they cry with pain?

Why do men show how they don't feel?
Why do they think everything is ok?
Are they afraid?
Are they scared to accept the truth?

Life is what you make of it.
It is who you love,
And who you hate.
its how you live it.Its how you want it to be.
The question is what you want to do with it?
If you was to take it
I would cry 'cause
well...
I kinda.....
well
I love you.....
I was scared to admit it
But now.
I'm not
And I don't care who knows!
I'm proud of it!

My heart breaks for him.
My love fades but is still here.
He hurt me but I still trust him.
Why do I still trust him?
He is my hope.
He is my joy.
Yet he is the worst thing to happen to me.
He hurts my heart with his words.
He never loved me.
He never even cared.
He refused to get close to me.
To open up.
I opened up.
Told him my secrets.
Trusted him.
Then he goes and tells everyone.

Hos

Throwing together my world.
Taking it back apart.
Keeping it hidden from everyone.

Throwing the world away.
Starting over again recreating it.
Recreating my whole life.

Freeing myself from within.
Freeing myself from my soul.
Changing my outlook on everything.

Changing my life for the best.
Changing my appearance and my thoughts.
Keeping my life open to anything new.

My heart has shattered
Falling to pieces
You took my heart and shattered it
You make me cry myself to sleep every night
Just being without you kills me
Seeing you with someone else stabs me in my heart....
I hate having this come between us..

My body and skin
My canvas
My brush a knife
The paint blood

Feeling the way you feel
Makes me feel uncomfortable
The way you make me feel is different
I don't know how to react to it

Save me
Keep me safe
Keep me in your arms forever
That's all I need

I need to know your there
I need to know your safe
Please come back to me
Come back..........

Im addicted to
Love
Life
freedom
Faith
Reading
Nature
Friends
Loyalty

Cold love
Cold heart
Nothing to help me
Nothing to help you
No way out
No way in
Nothing can do to help us.

Throw away the garbage
Throw away the hate
Fall asleep into the night
Peaceful dreaming
Peaceful rest

The first in a long time
Let it stay
Forever
Let the sleep stay with me

Stay asleep dream your dreams

Stay asleep....... stay

My heart aches
My stomach flutters
When you smile
When you touch me....

Every time I hear your name
I turn and look
I remember what we had
Wishing for something more

Slowly falling
Slowly dying
Slowly running for your life.
Running but staying behind
Held in a fortitude of deppression
Digging deeper and deeper
Not going anywhere
Held back by your thoughts
Held back by you heart

Follow your heart to where it will take you.
Nothing is set in stone so take what you have now.

The madness
It's taking me over
Not being able to stop it

It scares me
I just want to.....
To what???
Lash out?
Fight back?

What is it?
Why can't I ignore it.
This feeling
Well...

It overcomes me.
It takes over my mind
Makes me go insane
I don't know how to control it

I do know how to suppress it
With writing
So much words to describe me
In such a little poem

**** her
**** him
Watching every second of it

Waiting to see if she sees him
Waiting for her to notice
He's figured out what she's been doing

She looks away from the other man
She sees him
Starts to cry starts to fall apart
Feeling Like ****

She runs after him
Tries to get him to listen to her
He says nothing
Goodbye a silent reminder

Goodbye forever walking away
Silently
Silently walking out of her life forever...

My world, my life, my home.
Where are they?
Where could they be?
When will I find them again?
I'm so scared.
I don't know what to do.
My life I messed it up.
My world is falling to pieces.
Everything I do turns to poison.
My family deserted me for someone they barely knew.
Why is my only question.
Why do I do what I do to hurt others when I don't mean to?
My friends have left me behind to die forever....
Why??.......

The love I feel.
The love I have.
Nothing can change that.

Everything I know may not be true
May not be real
But to me what I do know is what I've learned
Nothing can change my mind except for myself.

Forcing myself
Making myself better
Turning myself into someone new

Someone I don't know
Someone I don't like
Nothing I can do to stop it.
Nothing I can say