I always feared meeting eyes
They could let people see you in depth
Read the unsaid
And find your weakest
I struggled to meet your gaze when we first met
Days, weeks, and months
Before I finally let loose
Of everything that left me bruised
I admired your patience
As you unearthed every layer
So delicately,
You saw through my struggles
Through my vulnerabilities,
Through the jabs on my soul,
And through scars that ran so deep,
And just as I began to get comfortable with those emerald eyes
You knifed through every wound I thought was healing
Twisted, coiled, and stabbed me again
Standing there, watching,
As I gasped in pain
Only to realize
I’d given myself away
To a bunch of glorified lies
As every piece of my heart
Clung on to the pain you left me with
And that's when I knew…
Why I never trusted ‘em eyes…

"Where did you go?" I asked
The one who loved
the reds, the blues, the purples and pinks
The one who chased butterflies,
the rainbows, and her dreams
"Where did you go?" I asked again
This time, a little louder,
a little impatient
"Where did you go?"
The one who laughed so loud, the one who danced
the one who sang to the rhythm of the rains
"Where did you go?" I asked,
a little hurt this time
The one who, with so much love,
baked cakes and cookies
Sending them, on a binging spree
"Where did you go?" I asked again
Standing in front of the mirror
screaming,
tears welling up in my eyes
and finally flowing down like a stream
"Where did you go? And why?
Leaving me behind!
Alone. Battling. Struggling. Gasping.
Come back.
Come back.
Come back, please.
Just for once.
Let me feel you for a brief moment.
The one lost to this heartless world.
Let me feel you...
Just for a moment
Just for a moment
Just for a moment...

I like the way you giggle when we talk
When you slip your hands into mine through our walks
The blush on your face
The cheekiness in your smile
They way you pull me closer
Your emerald eyes meeting mine
I like the way you tickle me
Making me laugh till it hurts
The tears rolling down my eyes
A smile that's a gift of your love
I like the way you make my heart feel
Younger, livelier, skipping a beat
I love your embrace
That feels like home
Your stoic gaze
That becomes my sanctuary
But most of all
I love the smell of your skin against mine
The way you slowly arouse my senses
As our souls entwine...

She was made of a million scattered pieces
and particles of dust
she fell too hard
and loved too much
Her soul deeper than the ocean
and her heart was a war
Love was soul food
sheathed with trust
She was a woman everyone loved
only to leave behind and walk upon
She never grew tired of the pain left behind
Instead embraced them as her own
But that never deterred her spirit
For she only picked herself up again
Finding someone
to heal with all the love that remained...

For all the mistakes of my past
I pushed him away
Fighting, arguing
Keeping him at bay
But I forgot
He was no coward
Neither a bully
None from my past
A lover rookie
He was a man
Of his actions and words
The one who promised
A better world
Delicately, yet with strength
He brought down my walls
Slowly unearthing emotions
I once thought were lost
In dark dungeons…

Sometimes I wonder
What would the sun do
if it wouldn’t give us light?
What would the moon do
if it didn’t illuminate the night?
One the eliminator of darkness
The other one makes it beautiful
We are all living with a purpose
Some know it
Some, unaware of the mysterious truth
Let’s face it
We are living a life of routines
Our days rushing one into the other
We are all ceasing without meaning
Existing, fading,
Waiting to be discovered...

And sometimes in the middle of nowhere
You cross my mind like a floating thought
I fought hard to move on
But it feels like coming back to square one
I wonder if you think of me too
The little things we loved to do
And if some days remind you of me
And the crazy things we did
I wonder if we ever crossed paths
Would we ever speak?
Or would we be like the lost strangers
Who chose the same roads
But were never destined to meet...

Another day
Another tear
Another night
Another fear
Another struggle
Another fight
As she fought
To defeat the demons inside
Wriggling, gasping
She finally lay still
As the monsters won
Yet another time

Although I must go
There's a part of me that wants to stay
Inspite of all the allegations and blames
You put on my name
It isn't that I don't love me
Or I don't respect myself
But there's a driving force
That makes me want to hold you back
I would incessantly admit
Loving you was an exquisite form of self destruction
It was like drowning in the ocean
Despite knowing how to swim
You were my terraquous zone
The world I'd call my own
How much ever it hurts to let go
It's time to walk away, I know
A part of me will always love you
Waiting for you to change
And come back to me
Albeit it seems difficult
There's still a lil ray of hope and belief
In us; in you and me
But right now it's time to take a call
I want you to know that I love you madly
And I hope you realize it
Before I guard myself again
Before i bring them up,
The much stronger and intransigent walls

She was the one who waited for solitude
To fall apart
To give a million chances
To everyone who broke her heart
She was the one
Who hid her pain;
Who wanted to heal others' fears
Rather than showing her tears
She was one
Who kept everyone in her prayers
Who loved everyone in spite of all the betrayals
She was the one
Who burnt herself
To cease your darkness
The star who'd fall down
So that you could make a wish
Yet,
She was the one
Always walked upon
She was the one
Who kissed the wounds
And healed every soul
However, she never learnt
How to heal her own

Everyone who met her
Admired her for what she was
Perfectly crafted
Without any flaws
But come closer
And you will see
She's not as perfect,
as she seems to be
She has flaws
And scars too deep
She's been broken
But is afraid to heal
She's scared to open her heart
And pour it out
To make herself vulnerable
And to bring her walls down
She's been degraded and walked upon
Lied to and cheated on
So don't you call her a masterpiece
She's a living hurricane, a mess
A beautiful mess
Of terrible chaos

Why cnt women be a lil more like men
and men lil more like women
Why cnt the two sexes travel a lil more
And reduce the distance  
Why can't we be a lil more of the good we are
A lil more of what we want to be
And battle a lil more
To be the change we wish to see

Wouldn't it be great
If we just had nights
We could be lost in the thoughts
Forever; all the time....

I wonder what it is to be like her
To be shattered,
To be hurt
To be broken
By everyone
And still manage to stand so strong

I wonder how many of us wish to be like her
The one who often goes unnoticed
A woman who carries a storm within her
But refuses to let it show
For it may destroy everyone around
Even before you know

I wonder what it takes to be a woman like her
To be at the receiving end of betrayals,
And forgotten relationships
A woman, being referred to, as someone so ordinary
And yet not complaining

I wonder how it is to be the woman she is
A woman of power
A woman of values and beliefs
A woman, who values faith
The independent one,
Wanting to stand on her own feet

I wonder what it is to be the woman
Who often strives
To be better
Than what she was yesterday
Who puts down her dreams and aspirations for the ones she loves
And yet fails to get the love she deserves

I wonder what would it be
To meet that woman
The woman within us
The one within you and me
The one we look at
Everyday in the mirror
The one we don’t admire
But just see....
I wonder what it takes
To be a woman
Just like you and me......

Broken wings,
Scarred tonight

Tomorrow morning,
Brings another life

Can I run away
Into hibernation
Or oblivion
From what stands before me
A broken piece of a family
Is it everywhere
Or my home alone
One small family
But all lonely souls?

And as I try to put myself to sleep tonight
Engulfed by thoughts that burn like light
I see a fire of emotions flare up
It ain't me, but it won't just stop
It gulps me quickly within
And soon I see myself suffocated and struggling
What has become of me
The mirror refuses to acknowledge what I wish to see
A simple girl with scars so many
Waking up to fresh new wounds in plenty
So many accusations
So many allegations
Not a bit of truth to them
What have you made of me?
What has become of me
The mirror refuses to acknowledge what I wish to see
A girl with expectations none
Broken,  but trying to heal everyone
What was it that made you doubt over me
What was it that I failed to give
An unrecognisable face in the mirror
What has become of me
The mirror refuses to acknowledge what I wish to see

“I love you”
“I loved you too”

“I’m here to stay”
“But you walked away”

“I accept, I bow”
“I’m sorry but I have to go”

“You can’t be going”
“I was tired of waiting”

“But I have come back”
“Sorry I have changed my track”

“You said you’d die without me”
“I did. When you left me“

“I need a chance. A last one. Take me back”
“We are in different worlds.
You, 10 feet above the ground
And me, 10 feet down”

“I’m sorry, I’m late”
“It’s right when they say, you can’t really fight fate”

What love leaves behind
When it walks away
Leaving u speechless
When u have so much to say
Scars, memories and tears
Fresh wounds and fears
So many questions
With answers to none
Abandonment and isolation
Hollowness and betrayal
Every time u go back to those promises made
You'll feel the colours fade
But i promise it won't last long
And when love visits u again
It will be strong
Washing away all your pain

Lifeless as she lay
Her skin so pale
The gleam in her eyes
Had begun to fade
She lay still
Unable to move
The pain was torturous
tearing her apart
Like a thousand needles
Pricking her heart
She was left alone yet again
Blaming herself for all the pain
The agony was deeper
The affliction more severe
Everything that held her strong
Was now falling apart
Breathing her last
With the last blow
Closed her eyes
She was ready to go....

When we grow old
Would you still kiss my forehead
And wake me up
****** glances at me
When i step out of the bath

When we grow old
Would you still eat
The burnt toast for breakfast
Evrytime i tried to make it good
And screwd it up

When we grow old
Would you still brew me coffee
When i have a ****** up head
Or on weekends
So that i can stay a little longer in bed

When we grow old
Would you still call me beautiful
And kiss me passionately
Would you still hold me in silence
And say how your heart beats only for me

When we grow old
Would you still surprise me with gifts
And leave behind chits

When we grow old
Would you still rest my head on your shoulder
And sing me a song
Would you still promise to love me
When i'm gone

And when i'm gone
Would you promise to carry me
In your arms to the grave
Like you carried me so lovingly
On our wedding day

If you’d ever known
How it feels to be left alone
You wouldn't have gone away
Breaking my heart like this
Crying through the night
The pillows witnessing the plight
Had you seen how the tears made me weak inside
You wouldn't have gone away
Breaking my heart like this
Having been left alone
Amongst so many unknown
The fear of falling down
Had you ever known
You wouldn't have gone away
Breaking my heart like this
Broken promises, forged emotions
The pain ripping through, tearing me apart
You walked away
Breaking my heart