Jun 2018
I always feared meeting eyes
They could let people see you in depth
Read the unsaid
And find your weakest
I struggled to meet your gaze when we first met
Days, weeks, and months
Before I finally let loose
Of everything that left me bruised
I admired your patience
As you unearthed every layer
So delicately,
You saw through my struggles
Through my vulnerabilities,
Through the jabs on my soul,
And through scars that ran so deep,
And just as I began to get comfortable with those emerald eyes
You knifed through every wound I thought was healing
Twisted, coiled, and stabbed me again
Standing there, watching,
As I gasped in pain
Only to realize
I’d given myself away
To a bunch of glorified lies
As every piece of my heart
Clung on to the pain you left me with
And that's when I knew…
Why I never trusted ‘em eyes…
They could let people see you in depth
Read the unsaid
And find your weakest
I struggled to meet your gaze when we first met
Days, weeks, and months
Before I finally let loose
Of everything that left me bruised
I admired your patience
As you unearthed every layer
So delicately,
You saw through my struggles
Through my vulnerabilities,
Through the jabs on my soul,
And through scars that ran so deep,
And just as I began to get comfortable with those emerald eyes
You knifed through every wound I thought was healing
Twisted, coiled, and stabbed me again
Standing there, watching,
As I gasped in pain
Only to realize
I’d given myself away
To a bunch of glorified lies
As every piece of my heart
Clung on to the pain you left me with
And that's when I knew…
Why I never trusted ‘em eyes…
Fear of eye contact is extremely prominent among people who've had their trust broken on so many instances before they finally gave up. I happen to be one of them. The fact that eye contacts are the most innocent and yet intimate form of connecting with another, both fears me and stops me from meeting gaze with people. This is one instance when I took every little bit of trust and confidence I had left, to look a man in his eyes, only to have my wounds scratched again. The biggest lesson of my life, and the last one too, taught me sometimes it's best to live with your fears instead of facing them.
