Mrs. Claus was at the door
Making sure that Santa knew
He had to see the doctor
He must be there by two

Santa gruffed and grumbled
Said there's too much to be done
"You know I hate the doctor"
"The doctor's just no fun"

Mrs. Claus held fast and said
"You do this every year"
"and you always have a new excuse"
"when the appointment time is near"

Santa, said he'd do it
Although, it was done under duress
He could run an elven workshop
But the doctor, was more stress

He made it to the office
At two, precisely on the nose
The first thing the nurse said was
"Santa, take off all your clothes"

"You know we have to weigh you"
"It's in the contract that you signed"
"A little extra weight shift"
"Could get the sleigh all misaligned"

The scale said way past jolly
He was twenty pounds past plump
He was just below horrendous
Santa Claus was one fat lump

The doctor read the clipboard
And made a tsk tsk tsking sound
He said "Santa, you're much bigger"
"You're almost 5 full feet around"

"I have with me a letter"
"That the vet asked me to read"
"It says unless you drop some blubber"
"Four more reindeer you will need"

"Now, every story book out there"
"Names eight reindeer in line"
"And since you hired Rudolph"
"A lot have you with nine"

"But the vet now says you need thirteen"
"To get up in the sky"
"You've got to change your diet"
"Santa, please lay off the pie"

"I'm not saying all at once"
"But, you've got to drop some weight"
"Or, you'll be dropping gifts by plane"
"And you'll still be over weight"

Santa tried a little laugh,
Not a full out ** ** **
Truth be told, he'd lose his breath
He knew the weight would have to go

He got down off the table
Put on his hat, and Santa Suit
He looked as red as ever
When he tried to reach his boot

The doctor said "Good God Man"
"You can't go up like that"
Santa said "I'm fine doc"
"The kids want a Santa that is fat"

"There's a difference between jolly"
"Like the elf you're supposed to be"
"But Santa, count your chins man,"
"I lose count at twenty three"

"The elves are under orders"
"Not to load the magic sleigh"
"Until you commit to weight loss"
"And you promise right away"

"I know that you are Santa"
"And for this I may get coal"
"But, your wife, Santa...she scares me"
"She said she'd put me in a hole"

"Santa, lose some poundage"
"Give it just a little try"
"It's not right...thirteen reindeer"
"Flying through the Christmas sky"

"I know it's confidential"
"what has happened here today"
"But, Santa...I will tell her"
"If you don't...and right away"

Santa, said he'd try to
He said "just tell me what to do"
"Truth be told there doctor"
"The woman scares me too!!!"

1
In a snug little nook at the top of the globe,
Where the snowflakes all shimmer and whirl as they strobe,
Old Santa was humming his jolliest tune,
But something felt off that cold afternoon.


---

2
The letters came in by the sackful, as ever,
But something had changed—something strange and quite clever.
No teddies, no jump ropes, no sleds made of pine,
Just gadgets and gizmos and tech by design.


---

3
“I’d like the new PhoneZilla X with AI!”
“I want a drone suit that lets me just fly!”
“A gaming chair throneship with ten turbo jets!”
“Ten thousand new skins for my streaming presets!”


---

4
He frowned as he flipped through the list after list.
Where once there was magic, now circuits exist.
“No puzzles? No marbles? No tea sets or blocks?
No trains that go chug-chug, no musical clocks?”


---

5
He walked to the shelf where the old toys were kept,
All dusty and quiet, like they hadn’t slept.
The wooden giraffes and the tin wind-up bears,
The ragdolls still waiting to dance down the stairs.


---

6
“In my younger days,” Santa said with a sigh,
“Kids dreamed up whole kingdoms with pie in the sky!
They’d turn sticks into swords, and a box to a ship—
Now everything’s screens and a battery clip!”


---

7
The elves looked around and just shrugged with a pout,
“It’s progress,” they mumbled. “You can't toss it out.
Kids follow the trends—it’s what they all do!”
But Santa just grumbled, “It’s lost something true…”


---

8
He missed when the holidays glowed in their hearts,
When joy wasn’t powered by microchip parts.
He missed little voices all squealing with glee
As they played with a slinky, or climbed a fake tree.


---

9
So he wrote a new note to be sent far and wide:
“Just mix in some magic with your techy ride.
Imagination's a gift that won’t ever expire—
It runs without chargers and never needs wire!”

Santa has a new list
It's songs you cannot sing
You cannot say it's cold outside
Or sing of bells that ring

You cannot sing of Rudolph
He got bullied after all
The list is quite extensive
End to end it's six feet tall

You can't even say Christmas
And that is quite absurd
Apparently there's someone who
Is offended by the word

Some are pretty sketchy
Santa Baby, ain't no way
Even if you smile
You can do it just one way

Frosty, that's a maybe
Silent Night, I think is fine
But, sing 12 days of Christmas
And the PC folks will whine

Three wise men, that one is out
There's complaints about that one
They want a woman in the song
And so that song is done

Anything you want to sing
You have to look at twice
Songs we used to love to hear
Now, just aren't so nice

It isn't gonna change me though
I love what's on his list
I even love the banned old song
Where mom and Santa kissed

Don't let your spirit disappear
Play every song you know
Cause Baby, it is Christmas time
And It's cold out in the snow.

Santa got a letter
From a young boy in Duluth
Will there be a Christmas
Say, it's not the truth

We heard that you aren't coming
This virus is real bad
Folks say there'll be no Christmas
And Santa, I'm quite sad

A virus keeping me away
What does this child say
A Christmas without Santa?
No gifts on Christmas Day

A week went by and letters came
They all said the same thing
We heard there was no Christmas
No gifts to us you'll  bring

So Santa called a meeting
He had to find out for himself
He called everyone around him
Including his top elf

Folks, this is a problem
These children are upset
This virus that they speak of
Is it one that I could get?

Research, do a study
Find out what's going on
I'll not stay home this Christmas
On Christmas eve, I'm gone

So, the elves all started searching
They checked and made the calls
This virus was a bad one
They've cancelled Santa at the malls

A week went by and Santa
Called a meeting just to see
If the virus was a dangerous
Would Christmas cease to be?

Santa,  said his favorite elf
You'll need to have a mask
So, we've started on designing
It is our major task

Santa said, he'd wear one
If it was what he had to do
I need to keep the children safe
Just, make sure that it's not blue

Another week, more meetings
A mask had been  designed
It covered up his nose and mouth
And it ******* in behind

I can't wear that on Christmas Eve
It will not stay in place
The knots will loosen over time
It'll slide around my face

The letters kept on pouring in
The kids all had to know
Was Santa staying home this year?
Was Christmas a no-go?

Another meeting, one more mask
This looked like Santa's beard
I like it, but, there is no mouth
I think it looks quite weird

Think boys, do your magic
You make toys and are the best
A simple little face mask
Should not put you to the test

Another mask, another fail
Time was getting short
If they could not deliver soon
This Christmas, he'd abort

Another meeting came and went
So Santa said to write
A letter to all magic folk
Maybe they can set this right

Two weeks before the big day
There was a small knock at the door
A fairy stood before him
She looked no more than four

Santa, I can help you
You want a mask you can see through
You do not want to scare the kids
They have to see it's you

Exactly, that is my plan
But, can your mask do all these things
She said, my mask is magic
It's made of fairy wings

She went inside with Santa
She told him fairy wings were tough
They could do all that Santa wanted
And lots of other stuff

The problem with my plan though
Is if I give my wings away
Wherever I am at in time
That is where I'm bound to stay

A sacrifice like that is huge
Do you want to make that choice?
There's no Christmas without Santa
She said in her small voice

You'd have to stay up here with us
A winter fairy you will be
Although you will be wingless
You'll like it here you'll see

She blinked her eyes and wiped her tears
It's what I want to do
I'll give them up to make your mask
And I'll stay up here with you

Santa, too was crying
This was the gift that he would need
He called his elven council
And tasked them with their deed

It took about a week or so
They made the magic gift
Invisible and see through
It gave Santa's heart a lift

The loops to go around his ears
Were as thin as thin could be
The mask, well, it was perfect
And there was nothing you could see

Santa put the mask on
Took a breath, and all was fine
There will surely  be a Christmas
And I love this mask design

The fairy was now wingless
She followed Santa all around
But, you could she see was not happy
She could no longer leave the ground

Santa called another meeting
Now that the mask is done
I have another job boys
And it is an easy one

He told them what he wanted
Gave a time when it was due
I need it to be perfect
Do the magic that you do

The big day came and all was set
The sleigh was set to go
The reindeer were excited
There was fresh, white, Christmas snow

Tonight, I will endeavor
To make this Christmas night the best
I'll deliver all the gifts you made
And I have one here in my vest

He called the fairy forward
He said the joy that Christmas brings
Will go on with no stopping
Because you gave your wings

For you my dear I have a gift
It's made from Christmas snow
A little elven magic,
And at this, the box did glow

She took the box, and opened it
Tears were in her eyes
A perfect pair of fairy wings
Measured perfectly to size

Santa, these are lovely
But, my wings, I gave to you
No dear, these are special
These fairy wings are new

You do not need to stay here
You can fly again and go
I made these to say thank you
You saved Christmas don't you know

I know you know the answer
She stayed there, need you ask
That kids is the story
Of Santa Claus's magic mask

Christmas Eve was coming
There was plenty to be done
There were protocols to follow
There were programs to be run

Presents needed wrapping
Elves had duties of their own
They've been doing it for centuries
They could call Christmas in by phone

Reindeer games were scheduled
Christmas Carols to be sung
There were toys to be assembled
There were bells that must be wrung

Christmas Cakes...no problem
For we all know there's just one
It gets passed around each Christmas
And that is half the fun

But, back now to the reindeer games
Donner wasn't there
But, neither were three others
It gave Santa Claus a scare

He called the elven vet in
Said "find out what it wrong"
"If I don't have all my reindeer"
"It'll ruin Rudolph's song"

The vet came back directly
Hoof and mouth was what he said
The reindeer must  miss Christmas
They were all confined to bed

Santa couldn't take it
Reindeer home...what would he do?
He thought real hard about an answer
Where would he find something that flew

The vet said, "I've an answer"
"But, no questions...just your trust"
"I'll get your gifts delivered Santa"
"I just need your magic dust"

Santa said "do your best Doctor"
"We can't have Christmas end like this"
"Are you sure you have an answer?"
"We can't give Christmas time a miss"

The vet and elves went searching
They formed a team like none before
They went around to the animals
And then they knocked on Santa's door

Santa looked at what they'd brought him
His reindeer gone, but here they stood
A team had been assembled
It made Santa sink into his hood

Harnessed up before him
The vet had two dogs and a bear
A ******, goat, and donkey
And a bald, blind cat...stood there

He smiled and said "Dear Santa"
"They may not look like that much now"
"But, they'll get you where you need to be"
"And they'll be led by a brown cow"

If you hear some noises
From your roof, like bleats and barks
Some, meowing or some mooing
And other strange sounds in the dark

Remember, it's just Santa
With his new team for the season
Rex, Rolf, Billy, Ben, Bessie, Joe, and Mike
and a bald, blind cat who's freezin'

Merry Christmas to all and to all....don't look up!!

Santa stood by the fire
With a pipe in his teeth
With smoke in the air
Circling him like a wreath

Clement Clarke Moore
Said this so long ago
But, what kind of pipe
I'm sure you don't know

Santa, a smoker
That's nothing new
If you remember the poem
Then you'll know it's true

The pipe, oh so slender
A small bowl at the end
A slight whisper of smoke
In the air, it would send

It arched to the floor
To the end of his beard
If it ever got close
Then his beard would be seared

The tobacco he smoked
Was a Turkish fine blend
With cloves and some nutmeg
Just how much, would depend

Was he giving out presents
Or sitting down by a fire
That determined just what
He would put in his briar

The pipe had a name
It was a Churchwarden pipe
Made of briar so old
A now long extinct type

Red Man tobacco
Some days he'd switch
But, not very often
It made his nose itch

The pipe is a classic
It shows Santa had style
Though it had a small bowl
It would last him a while

He could make rings appear
And they would circle his head
Or he'd just taste the spice
And form a small cloud instead

A Churchwarden pipe
Can be smoked by so few
It's a long way to draw
It's a tough thing to do

The scent that it leaves
Is of burnt spices and pear
And if you should smell it
You know Santa was there

So, this Christmas instead
Make it your pre bedtime goal
To leave out some OHM Turkish
To replenish his bowl

T'was the night before Christmas
The kids were in bed
Dreaming of Santa
All dressed up in red

The wife was upstairs
Wrapping gifts in our room
I was watching old Scrooge
In old London gloom

when out of the blue
there was a knock at the door
I leapt from the couch
and i slipped on the floor

i answered the knock
i still got there quick
and to my surprise
there stood St. Nick

"Please, sir I pray"
"may I enter through here"
"My stomach is churning"
"an explosion is near"

I pointed the way
first door on the right
Santa went off
To relieve himself right

My wife came downstairs
She asked 'bout the knock
I said go upstairs
She'd think my tale was a crock

The bathroom door opened
Santa came out
Then he told me the tale
Of what this all was about

"All of these houses"
"with warm milk and cookies"
"get my gut growling"
"like a room full of wookies"

"Soy, two percent"
"almond and skim"
"all mixed together"
"the result is quite grim"

"It started to churn"
"and I was getting quite frantic"
"I was just coming in"
"from above the Atlantic"

"Most years it's fine"
"But, this soy...never try it"
"it should really be banned"
"not put in one's diet"

"Do you mind if I sit"
"for a while just in case"
"I've got more houses to hit"
"And it will be a race"

My wife stood quite still
In fact she'd not said a word
Imagine your toliet downstairs
Home to dear Santa's ****

I offered a drink
Something to settle him down
He said thanks, but begged off
And he gave a slight frown

"I've got to get going"
"Time stops just so long"
"Thanks for your help"
"It could have all gone so wrong"

He filled up our stockings
He called his reindeer by name
"I'll bypass the chimney
and I'll leave as I came"

I looked at my wife
We both said "oh well"
I mean when you take it all in
Just who could we tell?

So, in future please listen
take a second and think
It could end up quite bad
don't leave him soy milk to drink

Twelve reindeer hooked up to the sleigh
One for each month through December
Santa said "That's a lot of reindeer names"
"For this guy to remember"

Santa said "I must lose one"
But he could not pick just who
So, he sat and made the choice
"Instead, I'll just drop two"

Ten reindeer hooked up to the sleigh
But two were always late
"I can't drop one, they both must go"
So, now the sleigh had eight

Eight reindeer hooked up to the sleigh
To Santa, this was right
Enough to pull the sleigh above
And fly into the night

But one was waiting in the wings
You all know how this goes
Whenever there's a real bad storm
He call on Rudolph and his nose

Now, Santa's team is ready
To take their Christmas flight
You'll know they've been when you hear
"Merry Christmas and Good Night"

If, during your travels
you meet a soldier while you're out
Thank them for your freedom
That's what it's all about

To them the job is duty
Be the best that they can be
They represent our values
Our country, you and me

Say thank you to a soldier
It really isn't hard
So many never hear it
So many come back scarred

So, If, during your travels
You meet a soldier, Say the words
They're little but so powerful,
And are rarely ever heard

No matter what your country
No matter where you are
Say Thank You to a soldier
Those words can go so far.

We are on the "no call" list
Yet, our telephone still rings
We've a sign that says "No Pedlars"
But, there's people selling things
Showing up and disregarding
The sign that we've put there
They won't accept the fact they've trespassed
They really do not care
We get calls from companies
Who aren't allowed to phone
And when we say "we're on the list"
They leave us alone
It last for just two hours
Then they call back again
We start the "No call" salsa
From the beginning once again.
People drive by and they stop
They say our house needs work
They saw it from a mile back
They must think I'm a ****
I figure that their eyesight great
For our problem's not out front
The problem is around the rear
They're just searching on a hunt
Have you ever asked yourself
How do they "fly by night"
For they're all so full of *******
They couldn't muster any height
They tell you that they did some work
For the lady who lived here
But if they're work is so **** durable
Why did it only last a year
They're nothing but cheap hustlers
Who want to rip you off and leave
They're just out to get your money
They practice to decieve
They've never got good papers
To show just where they're from
And when you ask to see them
They hightail it and they run
The honest ones leave me alone
And they do not cross my step
For they read my sign "No Pedlars"
And they leave my place...with pep
They move on to the neighbors
They do not wait around
They don't look inside my windows
They just evacuate my ground
There's salesmen doing driveways
Professionals, these guys ain't
All they want to do is
Cover up my drive with paint
They ask about my eavestroughs
It is blocked, that's why it drips
But, it has a gutter cover
That's help on with plastic clips
They phone me during dinner
And they say, "Hi, my name's Jay"
But they sound as if they're calling
From an office in Bombay
They know that my computer
Has a virus I can't fix
And if I let them in my system
This problem they will nix
They prey on you not knowing
And they catch you unaware
So if you don't know these people
i'd advise you please take care
You can tell them really nicely
Or you can tell them go to hell
But right now, my phone is ringing
It must be Jay upon my cell.

No one really knows me
What really makes it tick
Why I always keep on moving
Why I live my life so quick

what lies beneath the surface
No one really knows
And I do my best to let on
That nothing really shows

Scratch beneath my surface
And enter in my mind
Don't go deep my darlin'
You may not like what you might find
I'm a puzzle wrapped in onion skin
Don't dig too deep with me
Go too far beneath the surface
And you won't like what you will see

I smile lots, and walk away
Never showing how I feel
You only see the face I want
You don't know if it's real

I'm a shaman with a changing soul
Selling snake oil on the side
Don't dig too deep into my mind
You won't like what is inside

Scratch beneath my surface
And enter in my mind
Don't go deep my darlin'
You may not like what you might find
I'm a puzzle wrapped in onion skin
Don't dig too deep with me
Go too far beneath the surface
And you won't like what you will see

I read some poems on here
That would just be up his street
Scrooge would love so much to read
How you all deal with defeat

Not everyone, mind you, you know
Just those, we all ignore
you know ...the suicidal ones
who are in *****, upon the floor

i got dumped and i just want
to **** myself ...they say
if you write it down on here, i guess
you won't do it anyway

Scrooge would love the way
They talk of copulation
He'd just sit back and say
Then let them reduce the population

They threaten to go off the rails
Though, I think some might be done
They talk of doing things, slowly
Have they not heard of a gun ?

Scrooge would love the way they cry
When they don't get their own way
He'd be hooked on this, because you find
Five hundred...every day

He'd suggest we re-institute
The mills and the poor houses
So, he would have to listen to
The stories of these louses

A topic of importance would be
Something, he would write
of money, pestilance and then
he'd say...GOOD NIGHT

I believe in second chances, no matter who you are
You deserve a second chance to show your worth
If it weren't for second chances, we'd have never reached the stars
And we'd forever be stuck down here on this earth
A second chance is crucial when you're learning something new
It's the time you use to fix all your mistakes
You need that extra effort to do what you must do
And if you're injured in the process,.....them;s the breaks!
If it weren't for second chances, we'd all be stuck at home
Our employers would have sent us home to sit
They'd say that we are useless and we've no brains in our dome
And to put it to us nicely....we were ****!
Second chances make us stronger, better than we were before
Because we learn a lesson when we fail
They teach us to get better, and to break on through that door
And we learn that we'll be stronger...just exhale
In sports a second chance keeps the game well within our reach
It stops it all from going all to hell
To give that extra effort, it's something you can't teach
And you just know you can do it, you can tell!
In love a second chance means we will not die alone
Unless of course you haven't got a clue
We play the cards we're given, we play the dice we've thrown
And the only one who can change it all is you.
I'm happier the second time and wouldn't change a thing
I know that I am better this time round
My reason is my Megan, with her I'm like a king
She tells me daily, and she doesn't make a sound
My second chance is special and I'm sure yours is too
She's my mulligan in this game of life
I'm sure you feel the same way about somebody who
Has relieved you of your lonliness and strife
Now, thanks to second chances we all can understand
That the first time out we all were just too young
But now, we're off the sidelines and we're marching with the band
And we're singing the best song we've ever sung.
So, please believe in second chances no matter who you are
You'll thank yourself for going that next mile
Without my second chance, I'd have never got this far
And with Megan I have learned again to smile.

I bounce around from town to town
Never really laying roots
My world is in my duffle
With a second pair of boots

I muddle through with what I have
I'm always on the road
With my thoughts, and few possessions
That's me, always on the go

I do not have a fixed address
My thumb, it leads the way
I've woken up in farmers fields
I've slept near bales of hay
My thumb, it is my compass
I don't reside too long
I move around at random
I'm a lyric with no song

I've slept beneath a starlit sky
Woken up in feather beds
I don't know where I'll be each day
Or where I'll lay my head

I've lived down by the train tracks
Woken up as they go by
I've cavorted with a scarecrow
As the birds still filled the sky

I do not have a fixed address
My thumb, it leads the way
I've woken up in farmers fields
I've slept near bales of hay
My thumb, it is my compass
I don't reside too long
I move around at random
I'm a lyric with no song



I do not like to stick around
To linger, that's not me
When I start to getting comfortable
It's time to leave, be free

I have no one that I'm close to
For to leave would cause them pain
The world is there to travel
And, well....now, I'm off again...

For years, Tim had the visions
Seeing things that no one could
If he spoke of them, he's crazy
He kept quiet, like he should
Just normal, little, visions
Of people who were dead
Just wandering in places
He knew weren't in his head

It started on vacation
He saw the "grey lady" in a room
At first, he thought the lighting
made what he saw there in the gloom
But, later, in his bedroom
while reading pamphlets on the place
she appeared there in his bedroom
But, he couldn't see her face

He kept his little secret
Not telling people she was there
She was mentioned by no others
So, he didn't really care
An undigested bit of beef
A piece of moldy bread
Like Dicken's Scrooge before him
She wasn't real, because she's dead

While still on his vacation
He saw two more, this time more clear
He saw one upon a staircase
And the other, much more near
They never interacted
Didn't know that he could see
But, he wondered "why could no other"
"see them 'cept for me?"

Two years had passed, he was at home
He was living on the coast
When one day he saw the woman
And he knew she was a ghost
The house was large, and gothic
With a widows walk on top
It was there he saw the woman
He shut his eyes to make it stop

She walked upon the rooftop
Looking out over the waves
Her dog was there beside her
Looking for someone to save
He walked away in silence
Turned to look, she was not there
He knew better than to think that
It was a trick of light and air

Turns out the spirit walker
Lost her husband in a wreck
He was a whaler, up in Portsmouth
He drowned and broke his neck
A wave came out of nowhere
Sank his boat, "The Lucky Hoof"
Now, his widow walks and watches
She is a fixture on the roof

He's seen children in the bushes
Not quite sure if they were real
But, could he talk about his visions ?
His dark secret to reveal
They never seemed to notice
That he saw them, they just were
So he'd watch them and he'd listen
Till the day that he saw her

She was sitting in the corner
Of a restaurant, alone one night
But as he watched a little closer
He saw no shadow from the light
She sat alone in silence
No one ventured where she sat
She was dressed in twenties clothing
A classy dress and flapper hat

Two nights went by, he saw her
Sitting exactly as before
When he asked about the table
He saw the table was no more
He had to find this woman
find out why she showed up here
He would investigate the building
But, first he'd have a beer

Turns out her name was Maisy
At least that's what he found out
She went missing from the building
Of this there was no doubt
No one knew which way she travelled
No one ever saw her go
But, the stories, oh the stories
Maisy, turns up...don't you know

The corner with the table
Was just a bricked up wall, that's all
It was constructed when she left here
By the old owner Joe Paul
There never was a reason
For the wall, it had no use
There could only be one reason
And I think you can deduce

Maisy never went and left here
Joe killed her late one night
It was an accident of passion
He had to hide her out of sight
But like Poes tale "The Telltale Heart"
She would show up in her seat
Only Joe could ever see her
No one else would Maisy meet

Tim went to the new owner
Told him of Maisy and her tale
Told him of The Widow Hanker
And her husband and his whale
Was he crazy ? or a mystic ?
The owner said "you are no clown"
And he said tonight at closing
The wall is coming down

They found dear Maisy waiting
In her dress and flapper hat
She was sitting at the table
She was dead, and that was that
The owner, shocked to silence
Stood and watched our mystic Tim
As he stood there while Maisy's spirit
Left this world and passed through him

Tim still has the visions
Still sees the woman and her hound
Still watching for her husband
Tim knows he won't be found
He knows which ones he's needed
To investigate, set free
And the rest of all the spirits
Well, Tim knows what is meant to be

Bill always had a problem
He was just a little off
When most kids caught a cold at school
Bill, he caught a cough

He always talked out loud without
raising up his hand
He was disruptive in the library
And so, poor Bill was banned

He sang the national anthem
to the tune of "The Old Gray Mare"
and he always challenged people
by making each request "a dare"

Bill was not quite normal
He was an enigma to us all
when the kids would all play baseball
Bill would go headbutt the ball

But, Bill he was quite special
Even though he's an odd duck
Bill was full of knowledge
When the topic turned to trucks

The kids all wrote an essay
About their favorite state
But, Bill confused the teacher
By writing, "F150s...they are great"

i can taste your lips
when we share a kiss
i feel your breath
and watch you
when we share a kiss
i hear your heart
stop beating
i can smell
you get excited
when we share a kiss

should i ever be left senseles
i will never ever miss
everything we ever had
when we shared that kiss

my mind will form a picture
of the lips that i shall miss
the touch of gentle sweetness
of when we shared a kiss

forever will i savor
the way your breath did slip
the gentle cherry flavour
that did linger on your lips

my mind will also linger
on the sight of your blue eyes
wide open as i kissed them
the silent whisper of your sighs

should i be rendered senseless
i will never ever miss
everything we ever shared
when we first shared a kiss

You can not cure World Hunger

So, set your goals to small

But you can help out one child

Don't try to feed them all

Little steps or little bites

Can cure a childs pain

From not eating dalily

Or knowing when they'll eat again

Don't take on the whole problem

Just one mouth at a time

Then you'll start a revolution

And you'll start to feeling fine

Just add an extra setting

When you sit down to your meal

Then put a can of food aside

It makes the problem real

Just one a day will do it

Cure a child of his pain

And tomorrow night at dinner

You can do it all again

Just set an extra setting

No chair, no fork or knife

Then put a box or can aside

And help to feed a life

It's easy once you try it

In a short time you'll have filled

A box or two of canned goods

Someones hunger you have killed

Just set an extra setting

When you sit down next to eat

Then put a box or can aside

It'll make you feel so neat

At week's end take your savings

To the food bank filled with pride

You didn't even notice

And your smile's ten feet wide

Just set an extra setting

At the table, just for one

Then before you sit for dinner

Pack the can up....only one

Just think....a revolution

Started by a single meal

It's so easy to get started

And the end results are real

There's children going hungry

Here at home and in our schools

We can feed the world completely

If we only use the tools

Imagine stopping hunger

In your lifetime, it'd be great

And to start it is so easy

Just set that extra plate

One tin, a box or pasta

Nothing hard about this plan

Just set an extra setting

And donate one small can

A child going hungry

There's no reason anymore

There is enough food out there

To feed the world times four

The food bank's overloaded

More requests come in each year

So start a revolution

It's a simple, cheap, idea

Next time you sit for dinner

Just set one extra  plate

Then take a tin or box of food

And simply....please DONATE !!!
.

To ***
Or Not
To ***...
That, Is
The Question!!!!!

Children all learn
that sharing is caring
and that it's the right thing to do
as we grow older
we hate people staring
especially of something...we've two

i'd give you the stars
if i had them
i'd give you the moon
and the sun
i gave you my heart
when i owned nothing else
i shared it with you
i had one

possessions are gathered
and hoarded
by people who share only grief
i've seen people with nothing
share something each day
it's a smile, and hope and belief

i'd give you whatever you wanted
but, you'd never ask
for something that big
i'd give you a diamond
from the depths of the earth
and i don't care
how deep i should dig

i gave you my heart
when i had nothing else
i had one and i shared it with you
it's the best thing i've given
for the love that it's shared
just imagine
if i had had two!!!

Twisting, writhing bodies
All in rhythm to the beat
Their bodies keeping perfect time
To the movement of their feet

A hot and humid dance floor
All in the bands control
Except one wayward dancer
Dancing like a newborn foal

I loved her when I saw her
Arms akimbo, who knows where
Dancing to a different drummer
Face obscured by flying hair

She had the rythym of a metronome
That was broken, out of beat
And in my mind I could just picture
Barney Rubbles flying feet

She didn't care what they were playing
She surely couldn't keep in time
While they were playing four beats
She was hearing at least nine

She didn't care if people watched her
She danced alone and had her fun
sometimes she just kept dancing
long after the song was sung

I don't know what she was hearing
What song was playing in her mind
She was light upon her feet
but she was heavy upon mine

She danced with full emotion
She let the music draw her in
She danced where ever it would take her
She couldn't dance...is that a sin?

I loved her sense of freedom
She couldn't dance and didn't care
I'm just as bad as she is
And now we're a timeless dancing pair.

she is the one
of whom i'll not tire
she is the one
who fulfills my desire
she is the one
filling my heart with fire
and if my wife ever meets her...i'm dead

Went drinking alone at the tavern
all by myself drinking beer
When suddenly out on the dance floor
A denim clad angel appeared

I watched when she went to her table
Bought a beer and I asked to sit down
I mumbled some lame words of greeting
As I looked into her eyes deep and brown

she looked at me and said

you gotta do better than that boy
if you want me to follow you home
if that's the best that  you got boy
then you're gonna end up home alone
you've got to work harder to get me
i'm not one who falls for cheap lines
if that's all you've got then forget me
you need game or you're riding the pines

i made my way back to the barstool
ordered a beer and a shot
the bartender smiled and he said bud
you don't look like you did quite so hot

i smiled, and i ordered another
forgot all the cheap, cheesy lines
then i wandered on back to her table
i was giving off all the wrong signs

she looked at me and said

you gotta do better than that boy
if you want me to follow you home
if that's the best that  you got boy
then you're gonna end up home alone
you've got to work harder to get me
i'm not one who falls for cheap lines
if that's all you've got then forget me
you need game or you're riding the pines


i gave up and i went to my bar stool
maybe i should give up, she was right
then a redhead sat down right beside me
and she smiled, so it may be my night

i looked over and saw the girl watching
as i treated the girl with success
it was then that the first one came over
and that's when it became a big mess

she looked at me and said

i was ready to leave here  beside you
getting her was not what i meant
you've game to keep up my interest
you just missed on the signals i sent

and i said

baby, if you want to come with me
you had your chance twice, and you passed
i smiled at the red head beside me
and i said we should leave, and leave fast

we've been together for nearly a decade
and it started with one corny line
i smile when i think of her answer
it was almost as corny as mine

she looked at me and said

you've got to do better than that babe
if you expect me to leave on your arm
but, i've time to teach you the right way
and to be the one who may fall for your charm
i think that you have some potential
lose the lines and you'll improve your game
it was then that she grabbed my hand lightly
and it was then that she told me her name....

Five hundred fifty seven people
Help populate this place
I know most of them by their first name
And I know most every face
We have three stops signs
Two traffic lights and seventeen dead ends
Most folks here are family
The others...real good friends
Our welcome sign's hand painted
Turned it out in fifty nine
Back when the township had expanded
Past the Mason township line
You see, I'm the local sherrif
Been voted in for thirty years
No one really wants to do it
You see, the town is in arrears
We've got one cop, a judge as well
A fire chief and jp
The thing that makes us different
Is that all of them .... is me
I'm the sherrif in a one horse town
That's up the creek without a paddle
You see, I do not own a horse
And I can't afford a saddle
We're mostly all retired
A few run stores and others farm
Since we're mostly all related
No one does each other harm
Our crime rate...nonexistent
You see, a bank's one thing we lack
And if somebody steals stuff
We just make him give it back
Our town has zero growth here
In fact our growth's recessive
Years back our former mayor once said
"We make the Amish look progressive"
We've a diner on our main street
Been there since nineteen forty one
Was opened by May Willicott
Her boy was fighting 'gainst the huns
Next door to her the library
the post office , then city hall
One thing you will not find here
Is a shiny shopping mall
Most folks here don't use money
We just barter and we trade
We closed the bank a few years back
Best decision that we made
Each year we make a purchase
Spend some money, not too much
We buy a book for the town library
We buy some magazines and such
On July 4th we celebrate
Independence Day as planned
We have a picnic in the town square
And folks listen to the band
Two banjos, drums a bass and horn
two guitars and one kazoo
Three singers from the local church
rock the old "red white and blue"
You can't find us on google
There's no road map shows we're here
But I'm the Sherrif of a one horse town
That wayward drivers fear
You could say that we're a speed trap
We're set up to get you twice
We'll catch you speeding coming in
And on your exit...just as nice
We bought the land outside the town
About 500 yards each way
And we dropped the speed to twenty
It's on the sign...as plain as day
It might be hidden by a bush or two
But it's there as sure as not
We take credit cards and cash as well
We make you pay when you get caught
You see I'm Sherrif in a one horse town
We have everything we need
There's no reason for a visit
But if you do ....reduce your speed

I've got the shingle shirt blew-ew-ew-ews
I've got the shingle shirt blues
Which one should I choose?
Something airy and loose
I've got the shingle shirt blues

I am in so much pay-ay-ay-ayn
I am in so much pain
I don't want this again
Like I've been hit by a train
I am in so much pain

It's like the worst sunburn
All around my core
Rubbed with a cheese grater
And then, just a little more

Lemon juice and vinegar
Wiped down upon the rash
I wouldn't wish this on my enemy
Not for all the world's cash

I've got the shingle shirt blew-ew-ew-ews
I've got the shingle shirt blues
Which one should I choose?
Something airy and loose
I've got the shingle shirt blues

It's a pain just to sle-ee-ee-eep
There's no way to sleep deep
If I move just a peep
Off a cliff I will leap
It's a pain just to sleep

I've got the shingle shirt blew-ew-ew-ew ews
I've got the shingle shirt blues
I have got some good news
My Jimmy Buffet fits loose
I've got the shingle shirt blues.

I remember it like yesterday
50 years back, more or less
She was singing with an old guitar
She wore a faded yellow dress

She sang songs about rebellion
of love and hate and less
She was singing with an old guitar
She wore a faded yellow dress

She lit up the world
In 1971
She burned bright as a comet
She was there, and then...was done

The bar was almost empty
Most nights it was I guess
She was singing with an old guitar
She wore a faded yellow dress

I remember when she saw me
We connected, I confess
She was singing with an old guitar
She wore a faded yellow dress

She lit up the world
In 1971
She burned bright as a comet
She was there, and then...was done

Word spread out about her
She was primed to have success
She was singing with an old guitar
She wore a faded yellow dress

An agent came and watched her
A low life lizard known as Jess
She was singing with an old guitar
She wore a faded yellow dress

She lit up the world
In 1971
She burned bright as a comet
She was there, and then...was done

Promises were made to her
She heard his pitch, and she said yes
She was singing with an old guitar
She wore a faded yellow dress

I saw her climb the charts that year
She was a shell, a real hot mess
She no longer had an old guitar
She now wore hot pants, not a dress

She lit up the world
In 1971
She burned bright as a comet
She was there, and then...was done

You could see she was a puppet
A golden goose for lizard Wes
She no longer had an old guitar
She now wore hot pants, not a dress

I heard she died, an overdose
I wasn't shocked, I must confess
They buried her in Hollywood
She wore a faded yellow dress

She lit up the world
In 1971
I remember her old guitar
And her faded yellow dress

The shopping channel calls to me
It wakes me up at night
To sell me things I do not need
Nor would buy, if I was right
But apparently, there's something wrong
My brain should be re-wired
I only purchase things on here
When I am really over-tired
I have a room specifically
For things bought on TV
I've ginsu knives and shredding blades
And juicers!!!...ninety three!!
For some reason the kitchen things
Just seem to catch my eye
Especially at three a.m.
That's the time I need to buy
I've magic bullets by the score
Processors,  I don't need
But, if I ever put them all to use...
An army I could feed
I've got socks for diabetics
Things to make your ******* stand out
I've got exercise machines galore
I've got three things that help gout!
My credit card's at the limit
I know the numbers off by heart
The post man knows me by my name
I even have my own **** cart
To deliver all my purchases
They just load it and deliver
It almost comes here by itself
It's enough to make one shiver
I don't know how it started
I think the countdown clock...ah, yes
I thought it meant the game was ending
I phoned in and bought a dress!!!
I've got jewellery by Joan Rivers
George Foreman grills...they fill my den
I've got perfumes for the women
And lots of things that make you men!
My wife cannot contain me
She's sent me off to get some aid
But, if they sell it on the telly
I'll buy it sure as getting laid
I've bedazzled all my clothing
I eat dried fruit and jerky too
I get Christmas cards from Ronco
I'm a shopping ****** through and through
Each month we have a garage sale
I sell off some of what I've bought
But, then I go and buy it back again
Without a second thought
My friends have all but left me
I rarely go out of the house
I just sit here and go shopping
I don't even see my spouse
Set it and Forget it
That's a phrase I love to say
But wait, there's more...is another one
That helps me through the day
I used the last one on my wife
One night while having ***
She told me "Set it and Forget It"
I'm off to dreamland Tex!!
My shopping's an addiction
One I hope to beat some day
But now, the operator says...
I have to get my card and pay!

I'M A SHOPPING CENTER SANTA CLAUS
FOR THREE WEEKS EVERY YEAR
IT PAYS MY RENT AND BUYS ME FOOD
AND BUYS A CASE OF BEER
I NEVER REALLY LIKED IT
'TILL ONE DAY TWO YEARS BACK
WHEN ONE SMALL CHILD ASKED ME
JUST HOW I FILLED MY SACK

I THOUGHT A BIT AND TOLD THE WAIF
THAT MAGIC FILLED IT UP
HER EYES GREW WIDE AS SAUCERS
JUST WAITING FOR A CUP
I TOLD HER HOW MY ELVES
MADE THE TOYS FOR ME TO GIVE
TO TAKE AROUND THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD
WHERE ALL THE CHILDREN LIVE

SHE ASKED ME THEN WHY DID I NOT
FULFILL HER WISH LAST YEAR
I NOTICED THEN, HER EYES WELLED UP
AND I KNOW I SAW A TEAR
SHE SAID THAT HER POOR MOTHER
HAD LEFT AND RUN AWAY
SHE PACKED HER BAGS A YEAR AGO
AND LEFT ON CHRISTMAS DAY

SHE DIDN'T LEAVE ME ANY GIFTS
SHE SAID IN HER SMALL VOICE
SHE ONLY LEFT A LETTER SAYING
SHE HAD NOT OTHER CHOICE
SHE ASKED THAT WITH MY MAGIC
I MAKE HER WISH COME TRUE
I'D SAID I'D TRY TO DO IT
I WOULD SEE WHAT I COULD DO

I WIPED MY NOSE AND DRIED MY TEARS
AND PUT THE SMALL GIRL DOWN
SHE TURNED TO LEAVE AND WALK AWAY
HER COAT WAS CHOCOLATE BROWN
IT WAS A FEW DAYS LATER
THAT SHE CAME BACK TO MY CHAIR
HER EYES WERE BRIGHT AND SPARKLING
AND SHE WORE RIBBONS IN HER HAIR

THANK YOU SANTA FOR WHAT YOU'VE DONE
THERE'S SOMEONE YOU SHOULD MEET
THIS IS MY MUM, SHE'S COME BACK HOME
SHE'S MY EARLY CHRISTMAS TREAT
YOUR MAGIC WORKED A MIRACLE
YOU MADE MY WISH COME TRUE
NOW I BELIEVE IN SANTA CLAUS
AND THE EASTER BUNNY TOO!

I DID NOT TRY TO FIND HER MUM
TO LIE WOULD NOT BE FAIR
BUT WHEN I LEFT THE MALL THAT NIGHT
I SAID A LITTLE PRAYER
I PRAYED TO GOD THAT SHE WOULD FIND
HER MOTHER BACK IN HER LIFE
AND THAT THIS SMALL, YOUNG CHILD
WOULD BE FREE FROM ANY STRIFE

I KNOW THAT IT'S A PIPE DREAM
LIKE WISHING ON A STAR
BUT I WISHED ON ONE A FEW YEARS BACK
AND SOMEONE HEARD ME FROM AFAR
I'M A SHOPPING CENTER SANTA CLAUS
FOR A WEEK OR MAYBE TWO
BUT LITTLE GIRL, WHEREVER YOU ARE
I STILL  BELIEVE IN YOU.

I'd finished
and was leaving
on my way
back to the street
when i heard
that shotgun drumbeat

i turned back
found a corner
ordered whiskey neat
then i heard
that shotgun drumbeat

something came alive in me
and something else just died
i don't know how to tell you
I couldn't if i tried
something came alive in me
and something else just died
it sliced my soul in two right then
a gap, ten miles wide

eyes closed
waiting for
a table with a seat
and then i heard
it once again
that shotgun drumbeat

twenty minutes
and i was sitting
with a coke and crown
waiting, wishing
for that
god ******
shotgun sound

something came alive in me
and something else just died
i don't know how to tell you
I couldn't if i tried
something came alive in me
and something else just died
it sliced my soul in two right then

i listened
to the music
but, i never
ever heard
a sound like that
shotgun drumbeat
i'd been muddled
in the words

full out attack
like Keith Moon
back in the day
I'd never heard
the music
Never heard
what it could say

something came alive in me
and something else just died
i don't know how to tell you
I couldn't if i tried
something came alive in me
and something else just died
it sliced my soul in two right then

closing time
came quickly
faster than i would
have thought
i told myself
this feeling
would never
go for naught

now awakened
by a drumbeat
i was living, fresh, anew
i could no longer hide
that shotgun
killed off something
giving birth to something too

something came alive in me
and something else just died
i don't know how to tell you
I couldn't if i tried
that ******* shotgun drumbeat
made me feel alive
i can't describe the feeling
I couldn't if I tried

i saw a man
shot in a bar
while having a
shot in a bar
would he still be here
if he'd ordered a beer
instead of a shot in a bar?

my crocuses are frozen
my hyacinths are wilted
my snow drops are still hiding
and my tulips all are stilted

my lawn is buried deeply
my door bell doesn't ring
all of these together are
signs of Canadian spring

lawn all ripped to ratshit
flyers frozen to the fence
*** holes every fifty feet
student residences to rent

icicles on my eavestrough
and the damage that they bring
all of these together are
signs of a Canadian spring.

Lord hear my prayer
The words I want to hear now
Under the B...2!

There are five stages to grieving
I've been through them all
At least twice, some three times
I'm 45 and single
Very single
Husband...cancer
Daughter...war
No dog, no cat
single
You know, I'm the only person I know
who lost a daughter in the war
Was I mad, really spitting mad
I can still see that poor fellow
The one who delivered the news to me
Not his fault, but....I think I tore enough
skin off of him to last a thousand lifetimes
There was denial, she's not gone I thought
She'll come through the door one day
She'll phone, but it hasn't rung yet
And if it does....Houdini can't be far behind
I miss her, truly miss her
I've come to terms with it
It wasn't easy, but I understand now
I've moved on, and she has too
This year, I had to relive it all over again
I do, anyway....every time  I hear we lost someone else
someone else's child, their son, daughter, husband, wife
father, mother, someone who was loved
This year, the fifth anniversary year of all years
I've been asked to go to the ceremony down town
They want me to be the Silver Cross Mother
Not nationally mind you,
But here, in my town
The town my daughter grew up in
They want me to show my grief
In front of all of them
Again
Now, I'm mad again
Not at them for asking
But, at war,
It stole my daughter
It took away my chance at watching her grow
Grandkids, school plays
selfish reasons, I know,
But, I hate it
I'll do it, **** right I will
She deserves it
They all do, each and every one
And when I do,
Not only will I be there for her
I'll be there laying that silly fluffed up
plastic coated ivy and poppy wreath
for all 158 mothers who have lost children
In this war at least
And for the ones to come
Which I hope is few
And most important
I will show them another
New stage of grieving
PRIDE
Pride in myself
Pride in my daughter
and Pride in my Country
The sixth stage of grief
From the heart
I'm Arlene Watson
And I lost a daughter
And I'm mad
And I'm proud
and on November 11th
you'll see both
I miss you dear....

Star light full of silver
Moon beams laced with gold
I'd give you all I gather
For you just to behold

Flecks of gold in sunshine
Silver steaks upon the sea
I'd gather all for you to have
If you would be with me

Gather up the silver dust
Gather up the gold
Gather up the moonlight mist
I will offer up my soul
Gather up the silver dust
Gather up the gold
Gather up the moonlight mist
If you once I just could hold

Emeralds and ruby gems
From rainbows in the sky
I'd gather them for you as well
For you my dear I'd die

I'd mine for diamonds in the night
From the stars up oh so high
I'd gather all if you would be
The one for which I'd die

Gather up the silver dust
Gather up the gold
Gather up the moonlight mist
I will offer up my soul
Gather up the silver dust
Gather up the gold
Gather up the moonlight mist
If you once I just could hold

Simple thoughts ...not simple dreams
Don't settle for the middle
Dream Big and aim much higher
And therein lies the riddle
Don't set your sights on second best
Don't go for mediocre
Aim for the top and reach your dream
Don't settle like a joker
To set a goal below your best
You're cheating yourself first
Not taking on the challenges
Will make your bubble burst
Don't start off with a handicap
Dream as big as big can be
Not setting goals you earn to reach
Won't set your talents free
By doing what's just good enough
Won't get you to first place
It's like going out and betting on
Each horse that's in the race
You know you've backed a winner
But, you've backed a loser too
You want to be the winner
When your loves and dreams come true
So, close your eyes and see your dreams
Dream big....and one step more
For shooting at the middle won't
Help you make it through that door
Simple thoughts, not simple dreams
Aim high and make a start
You'll never reach your destination
If your goals aren't in your heart
Make smart choices, but don't settle
Know there's always more to do
Smart decisions and devotion
Will make your Big Dreams  come true.

sing me a story
sing me a song
sing me old country
it's where I belong
so sing me a story
and I'll come along
sing me a story
an old country song

Are the lights still out in Georgia?
Is the man in black in jail?
How are things in old El Paso?
Sing a song and tell a tale

Did the devil win his fiddle?
How's the Harper Valley PTA?
Did they ever stop that convoy?
Is he loving her today?

sing me a story
sing me a song
sing me old country
it's where I belong
so sing me a story
and I'll come along
sing me a story
an old country song

Is there a red headed stranger?
What went off that bridge in June?
Did the gambler ever fold them?
What was howling at the moon?

Is Donna Fargo still that happy?
Do you smell whiskey in the air?
Is the circle still unbroken?
Is there an angel hiding there?

sing me a story
sing me a song
sing me old country
it's where I belong
so sing me a story
and I'll come along
sing me a story
an old country song

Sing me songs
about Nascar Nation
I don't care about
your beach vacation
I want to hear
about trucks and whisky
Not when Taylor
Swift got frisky

Give me songs
that make me cry
not songs about
a cheating guy
Let me hear
about girls and guns
about going fishing
about having fun

sing me songs of old...
sing me solid gold
songs where tales were told
just sing me songs...my heart can hold.....

Give me songs
about redneck weddings
about lonely highways
and where I'm heading
I don't care
about sand and sunshine
I just need to hear
'bout the life that is  mine

Sing me songs about
Trucks and racing
I don't care about
who's book facing
Let me hear
some Charlie Daniels
going hunting
with Springer spaniels

Sing me songs
that touch my heart
songs I'll sing
when we're apart
I don't care
about fields of flowers
or about your
secret powers

sing me songs of old...
sing me solid gold
songs where tales were told
just sing me songs...my heart can hold.....

Sing me songs
like those long ago
about broken hearts
and tales of woe
Sing me songs
that i'll remember
way past december

sing me songs of old...
sing me solid gold
songs where tales were told
just sing me songs...my heart can hold.....

Six seconds
What takes that long?
You can't write yourself a letter
You can't write yourself a song
Evelyn Mc Hale...six seconds
Eighty Six Floors
Jumped from the observation deck
And now she is no more
Six Seconds
Twenty three years old
Now she's dead and buried
And it's time her tale was told
On May Day '47
She thought she'd make a rotten wife
Did she know that when she took hers
She'd make the next cover of LIFE?
It only took six seconds
To land upon the car
86 stories downward
It doesn't sound that far
Most Beautiful they called it
Like they were describing a red rose
But they were talking of a suicide
Where she lost her shoes and ripped her hose
The photo that was taken
One seen all around the world
Makes it look like she was sleeping
And still clutching at  her pearls
Six seconds to the cover
Six seconds...to the ground
when you choose to make a leap like this
Do you care who is around?
She looks calm, cool and collected
Everything was in it's place
One arm was out beside her
There was contentment on her face
The real reason she did it
Is gone forever, yes I reckon
Evelyn McHale made LIFE
And it only took six seconds.

Six strings stagnant
Something's wrong
And then my fingers
come along
Revealing hidden
music....songs

Notes burst forth
From silent strings
The air is full
The air...it sings
Smiling, joyous
Love it brings

Six strings loudly
Emotions pour
This is what
A guitar is for
Making music
and l'amour

Fingers strumming
plucking, too
Tell me what
It means to you
To hear the music
Fresh....anew

Six strings silent
Once again
The song is over
But, it's not the end
Six strings waiting
...until then....

Thinking back to our beginning

Of things we used to do

Lord, I know my mind's still willing

I wish my body still was too

The years have passed by quickly

I blinked and they were gone

In time we both got sickly

But, our memories linger on.

We used to go out walking

To the park and in the woods

Just spending time together

And we talked and times were good

Now it's just a memory

Now it hurts to climb the stairs

We may no longer go out walking

But the memory lingers there

It's not that we were active

But our world was larger then

Now, we're confined to samll spaces

Our world was larger to us then

Once the snow comes we are housebound

We're together, not alone

We talk of when times were better

And we talk how we have grown

Disabled doesn't live here

We won't say words of that kind

Even though our body's dying

We both still have our minds

Distractions don't come easy

There's nothing for us to see

We still revel in each other

For we have no family

We'll be partners forever

We won't be so long apart

For when one dies the other follows

Soon, from such a broken heart

In sixty years that we've been married

We've had friends, but most are gone

They never knew that our small secret

Was we let our memories lead us on

They say the past is gone forever

The future is the place to be

But for us our futures leaving

And the past is where I'll be

I've more years now behind me

That I have got left to live

But as long as we're together

My love to you I'll always give

Remember when we'd go out walking

Just us two, those times were fine

I'd wish that in our future

We could do it one more time.
..

Cards and coins and doves and smoke
Just ways to memerize the folk
Who come to dine and hear me joke
About the things I do

Restaurants, gyms and shopping malls
Weekend shows in legions halls
I have some phones...if someone calls
About the things I do

Houdini, Blackstone, Randii
Switching cards at times for candy
All things I must keep handy
to do the shows I do

I'll never make a million
Never do the big reveal
I work just for tips and smiles
Trying to pay for my next meal

Sleight of hand's my favorite
Keep them watching, fool them all
"Now which one did it go under"
"Can you surely find the ball?"

Drinking, drugs, an my depression
A nationwide finance recession
I do not  make a good impression
I'm a magician ...level two

Small clubs, folks homes, and free dinners
Show the tricks that are my winners
Show them to the saints and sinners
I'm a magician ....level two

To most I will stay nameless
***** it up, and I am blameless
Some folks comments , they are shameless
Tomorrow...I'll be gone

I don't repeat my shows  too often
I hardly do a second show
It's not because I do not like it
It's just these are the only tricks I know

I make things appear out of nowhere
It tricks the old folks and the young
I will never be remembered
I"m just one whose song is sung

I'm more slight of hand than ever
I've more patter than I've tricks
Sleight of hand lost to arthitis
Like what I do and that trick sticks

Cape and wand with no assistant
I'll get it right, I am persistant
I'm nothing if I'm not consistent
"Which cup has the missing ball?"

I am a level two magician
In the yellow pages, find my name
There's hundred more out there just like me
And all our tricks, they are the same

Thank you for your contribution
I thinks it grants you absolution
If I am bad, no retribution
I'm slight of hand...not sleight no more.

Roll up Roll up
This will cure all your ills
Throw away the crutches
Dispose of your pills

Keep away from the tent boy
Keep back from the curtain
This is just what you need
To stop all the hurtin'

Roll up Roll up
Mind the glare of my teeth
Avoid my forked tongue
Hide from what's underneath

This elixir's a wonder
More a distraction I'd say
Takes your mind from your troubles
At least for the day

Drink a little, drink a lot
It doesn't matter much
You will soon discover
You can throw away your crutch

This potion will cure cancer
Grow new hair on your head
Help the flowers in the garden
Make you better off in bed

Roll up, Roll up
Buy a bottle maybe two
It's magic like no other
See what it can do

The idea is now planted
Is it fake or is it real?
Will it deliver on it's promise?
Is it really such a deal?

Listen to the barker
Listen to his spiel
Sounds like a politician
Now, how do you feel?

Don't look behind the curtain
You'll hate what you will find
Roll up, roll up and see
It may mess up your mind



Take a drink and you'll get bigger
Take a drink and you'll be small
Take a drink, I'll raise your taxes
To pay for my new mall

Roll up  now to the counter
Roll up here and see
That things with this much promise
Are never cheap and rarely free

Soccer, like baseball has legends as well
Some are great players, and some you can't tell
They have great careers, some ring the bell
But some are still legends,  others...legends that fell
Pele', no question is the best of them all
He could perform football magic when he had the ball
Is his World Cup in Sweden, the best of them all
None had his magic, or walked quite so tall
Team England at Wembley won in sixsty six
With Charlton and Moore, they were top of the picks
But since then, no more magic...something they can't fix
They went out as World Champs, but the curse..it still sticks
Maradonna, no question, has an ego like none
He thinks he is special, Jesus might be his son
The hand of God statement, just might be the one
That wipes out his achievements, and puts him under the gun
Head butts from players, hand ***** and bad plays
do we remember sucessess or is it failure that stays?
Is ithe team or the player or the fan who must pay
When they lessen their image that sets fans in a daze
Do we gloss over issues because a player is great
Or do we remember a player who reached legend by fate
Do we remember their battles when we chose to berate
Or do we respect how they acted and say "good on, mate"
All sports have heroes, and all sports have bums
But some are remembered for just flapping their gums
Remember a legend, is a player who comes
To the pitch as a player and makes the crowd hum.

something wicked
something wicked
this way comes
this way comes

I feel it in my heart and bones
Something in this game of thrones
Some how we are not alone
something wicked this way comes

I can not tell from dark or light
I only know it's out tonight
I know I will keep from sight
Something wicked this way comes

Something wicked
Something wicked
This way comes
This way comes

Monster maybe, but not sure
I know I will lock my door
I won't add to the monster's score
Something wicked this way comes

Drinking from a witches brew
Ghosts, and witches, ghoulies too
I'm not going out...are you?
something wicked this way comes

something wicked
something wicked
this way comes
this way comes

I'll stay inside alone tonight
I'll not go out until daylight
Then everything will be alright
Something wicked this way comes

I don't know if it's fake or real
I only know just what I feel
I refuse to be a monster's meal
Something wicked this way comes

I'm sorry, I can't tell you when
Our country will be on again
But, please take heed that until then
You've got a place in line

Our operators in DC
Voted in by you and me
Have lost their ablility to see
They're paid, and that is fine

Our veterans who went and fought
Whose loyalties can not be bought
They learned lessons that can't be taught
But now, they stand in line

To use the lands that they kept free
In the name of Liberty
A Government for you and me
Closed by choice...a choice not yours or mine.

I know that I have loved you
sometime in the past
we're two souls out in the slipstream
with no sail upon the mast
two souls in search of someone
and I know that someone's you
we've been in love forever
at least a time or two

I have known you for forever
yes, I know that it was you
we are looking for each other
and each time, our love is new
we are souls without direction
we have been in love before
and we're destined to repeat it
in time forever more

we might skip a generation
ok maybe one or two
we are searching for each other
at least I am for you
we aren't famous individuals
just two souls on the wind
who are cursed to keep repeating
for once, we must have sinned

we are stuck inside the vortex
of an endless loop of souls
coming back to search forever
through a sea of timeless holes
we have been in love forever
and until we get it right
we are two stars always burning
in the cold dark winter night

we are souls out on the slipstream
we have played the lover's game
we both know we've been together
because our love it seems the same
it's a love built on the ages
we know we'll meet again
one day we'll get it perfect
so now my love...'till then...

Peggy Sue,
Rave On
just
sitting
listening
to
the
Crickets!

You know, there's always a song that takes me back
To a year, so long before
It's not always a top ten song
That hits my very core
It just grabs me and transports me
Back in time while standing still
It might take me to a good place
Release a memory I should ****

But, my soundtrack is different
It's not just music in my mind
There's sounds that make my playlist up
Sounds of a different kind
A baseball smacking leather
God, that sets me free
Some good, some bad, some coaching
Some involve my ******* up knee
The click on every eight track
When it switches channels to play on
Brings back those early mornings
when the house cleaning was done

But, music, yes the music
makes a large part of my list
Some take me back to dances
And the girls I never kissed
The good songs stretch my senses
Make me smell things from the past
The memories still linger
While the music didn't last

Sirens, car wrecks, yelling
Have their place on my list too
It's not music to most people
It made my list though, who knew?
A sound as small as raindrops
Take me back to a morning when
I stood on line with a hundred others
Brave women and brave men

Cornwallis, Nova Scotia
rain and U2 take me on a track
To basic training on the east coast
Wow, that's 25 years back
A car crash and a siren
Takes me to when I met my wife
This was on the television
when Princess Di, she lost her life

So, my soundtrack is eclectic
It's not just music fuels my trips
It might be a golf ball bouncing
That takes me through a time warp slip
A song, that's just too easy
Everyone has one of those
But, can you travel back, oh, 30 years
When someone blows their nose?

There's more sounds that effect me
But, those I think I'll hide
I will write about them later
And I will take you on that ride
In 50 years of living
Lots of sounds have hit my ears
We'll  sit and chat about them
One day over a few beers....

"So, you ski da marathon, eh?"
came the voice out of the back
"You anglos call me Frenchie"
"But, my friends all call me Jacques"
"You ever do da marathon?
That is why you're here?
Sit here with old Frenchie
Barkeep...three more beer"
We sat down with this old man
He looked worn out, nearly dead
He said "You know, to win this race"
"It's all up here in my head"
The beers arrived, he drank his down
Our lips were barely wet
When he signalled to the barkeep
Three more for him to get
"You know, I've been here yearly
telling Anglos like you's two
The way to Montebello
The best way to get through"
"I'm eighty fours years old you know
Believe me now it's true"
And with a little finger snap you know
The barkeep brought more brew
We sat and listened as this man
Told tales of races past
He talked of Jack Johannsen
And he drank his beer down fast
We sat with him for hours
And at ten we paid the bill
We'd spent two hundred dollars
This old man drank his fill
The next day we came in to eat
Before we started out
"You ski the marathon eh?"
We heard that husky shout
We looked into the corner
Three more suckers yet to please
So, we smiled and we left quickly
To our room to get our skis
We spent the day out on the course
Thinking that this wise old man
Knew just what he was saying
He knew every inch of land
We skied each part and in our heads
We heard that old voice say
In a husky, bad french accent
You ski the marathon...eh?
We finsihed up and thawed out beards
That had frozen to our bibs
We were off to see our wizard
In fact we fought for dibs
To see who'd buy the first round
To listen to this sage
To be a student of this teacher
Who'd reached this grand old age
"You ski the marathon, eh?'
Came from the back as we walke in
It was the same old husky accent
We knew that it was him
But, there back in the corner
Sitting at our teachers feet
Were another bunch of skiers
Who'd be buying this mans treat
So, we rounded up some barstools
And we bent the barkeeps ear
He told us that Old Frenchie
He showed up every year
He comes to town a week before
The race itself takes place
He's a regular here in this bar
The whole town knows his face
He isn't from around here
Lachute, is where he lives
But for two weeks every winter
It's free advice he gives.
You buy his beet, and hear his tales
It keeps the old man young
In fact, myself I've been here 40 years
And races...he's sikiied...none
He waits there in that corner
For you anglos to show up
And he drinks what he can handle
He's really in his cups
"Barkeep, three beers...if you please"
Came roaring from the back
It seems two brand new anglos
Were new victims of old Jacques
We finsished up, and paid our bill
We knew that we'd been taken
by an old man with an accent
Who smelled like beer and bacon
The last day, when we ventured out
We dropped by to see Jacques
The barkeep said he'd gone on home
But, come next year..he's back
You boys enjoy your race day
And I'll see you here next year
So, we tipped him ten bucks extra
To buy him and Jacques a beer
That summer, I went to Quebec
To run an iron man
I was down around Three Rivers
I went there with my friend Dan
We went out for an evening
To have some drinks before race day
And when we walked into that tavern
"You run the iron man...eh?"
That voice, you couldn't hide it
That was Frenchie in the back
He said hello, you anglos..bon soir my friends
...Now you can  call me Jacques!!!