Rip me limb from limb
In silence I will suffer
Absorbing the rending of flesh from bone
Happily
Thankfully
Repeatedly
So you suffer no more

Eyes closed and frozen time
A place so warm and free
The pain of today erased
Future ceases to exist
There is only that moment
Behind closed eyes

A cacophony of wasted space in a mind too full to see
boring holes to breathe or vent
or pray that there is no light to be let in

Was never done dying before yesterday moved
tomorrow is last year a lifetime ago
today, erased by was and will

Tears can't dry in incessant floods
bleeding acid that feeds unhealing wounds
in a mix of steroids and parasites

Faced with all that perception ever was
altered reality in crushed emotion
scraping the dregs of feeling to find a place to sleep

Jagged shards of memories offer the most comfort
as they slice what attempted to heal
killing me slowly anew with each passing moment

Moments torn in a million pieces of equal pain
encased in cemented ideals and rosy falsehoods
yesterday is the only reality left

Outside a clenched fist holding onto nothing
blood crusts in black paint
open or closed, there's nothing left to see

Longing to bleed out through the ****** of dreams
left to die in a place that packs holes with dirt
enough to exist in an invisible life

Killing the long ago before it finishes what it started
seems its own nightmare of weakness
will it alive or will it dead, just will something and make it so

A lifetime of dying in a half-life of truth
gray eats black as anguish feeds on beauty
nothing remains in untouched memories

whipped back across the line
in harsh tones of childhood trauma
vile acidic tongue
lapped and corroded the biodome,
which maintains the constructs
of who I am needed to be
white smoke fills the black space
changing gray as it wafts through
ever so slowly

Patch the chemical burn!
Patch it NOW!

before it compromises emotion
before it spreads and corrupts
the foundation of all
the slightest justification
can stop the seepage
Lies, Lies, Lies, Lies
honesty isn't truth
when used as a weapon

watching the dome slowly fail
smoke seeping through pinholes
waiting for the death of hope
frozen in place by hateful expressions
of those who claim not to care

The familiarity of helplessness
Thrice-fold upon return
Has churned up the sleeping trolls
Now dancing on the nerves of the lost
A happy dance it is they do

Soothing sounds of future memories
Pictures painted in the glory of pain
The beauty found in such ethereal places
Is especially so in the desperation
Emerging from watching the truth
Of the other side of elation
Never absorbing the joy in the mundane
Finding it exceptional
Only when threatened by the violence of truth
Truth is a reminder of fragility in all things
Manifesting itself in the clear consciousness
Of the possibility of pure anguish
The very thought of the mundane being temporary
Of that  routine being ripped apart
Shredded in terrifying facts of probability
Need vs want is a privilege
The truth is evil
The only freedom that can ever exist is truth
Faced with the amputation of what was once meaningless
Transforms the mundane to profound
There will always be loss
There will always be an opportunity to be reborn
Perception is reality
Mood is a choice
Absolute truth is a fallen angel
Yet it remains something for which to strive
Life in retrospect is not living
Biding time between bouts of honesty
Treading stagnant water
Fulfillment does not dwell in the in-between
Satisfaction is not born of boredom
The world that surrounds each life
Is only what that life has built in its down time
For there can be both joy and pain in all things
Both apathy and interest in each new view
Emotions are a powerful thing, as is logic
Yet if they never marry, there can only be lived a half-life
Peace is born in the unity of all that we are

Seeing happy holiday faces
Sappy sentiment and saccharine smiles
** ** **, and jolly jelly laughs
Pondering the likelihood
That their smiles are as porcelain as my own
Painted lips in Victorian red
Eyes done up in glitter and paint
Hoping that happy leaches into grown ups
From the wonder and joy that is the truth of babes

Snuck in like fog and enveloped me in slumber
Tainting my dreams with every breath
Losing myself as I exhale
Filling me with the truth of desire
Pulling me deeper into the beautiful nightmare-
Turned hopeful longing
For to become a part of you as you breathe me in
Is all that there is

Destroyer of dreams
Leave my side so hope remains
Move on to the next
Oblivious in their bliss
Perhaps they shant see dreams die

No marble stare as cold as ice
Can be found inside your gaze
For it is there that heart's desire burns twice
And your eyes set me ablaze
❤
Hazel hues of wanton need
Make my cheeks flush crimson red
And make my deepest parts take heed
As you lead my love to bed
❤❤
You see me as a vision
An angel of your very own
Through a tarnished crooked halo
A pair of horns has grown
❤❤❤
Still, you see in me perfection
In fact, I am your missing piece
And I pray with everything I am
That your love will never cease

I believed
Everything you told me
And
You let me

You tell your kid to give the dog food and water. He mishears you and asks what moonwater is, and you fashion his mistake into a poem. ;)

you say it best

                   when you say



                                        nothing at all

This poem has been submitted for possible publication.  It will be reposted as soon as possible upon final determination.  Please feel free to peruse my poesy at your leisure.

Thank you so much,
PrttyBrd

I hear the words and feel inflection
I reach to you, yet fear rejection
Your eyes can't lie they show what's real
Your words don't say the love you feel

I don't doubt that your heart bleeds true
Though you're lost between what's right for you
Too much distance, too much time
Too scared to wait, we crossed the line

Too eagerly we skipped ahead
Now, on cracked remains we tread
We hit fast-forward with no rewind
We can't break free from our own kind

So we long and yearn and suffer long
In silence we don't feel it's wrong
Hearts have merged despite the rest
Still we pull away on friendships quest

To love without loving,  and live our lives
Separately we feel the knives
The ones that cut our hearts in pieces
For every moment it never ceases

We talk without speaking and look the part
We live, hearts not beating, like living art
We cry in the darkness alone and distraught
In denial we awaken alone with our thoughts

Nights stretch into months of dark gray
Even though we talk every day
It's empty and lacking, yet we hold on
Pretending the love we share is gone

Behind closed eyes lies the truth
Jumbled and broken in bits and pieces
Shattered dreams forgotten
Memories erased
Familiar feelings confound the soul
Fear sears the mind's eye
Faith can release it

Overcast, sunless
Visibly silent screaming
Parched, now overjoyed

A thought awakens
Blood rushes, heart pounds, timeless
Dried salt tracks remain
Warm breath rememberances
Held fast by yesterday's dream

Green, in varied hues
Lush and earthen, nature sings
Mother is reborn

Wanting to relive yesterday
When you were still who I thought you were
Never wanting to realize
You pretended all that I loved

Caught off-guard
By the way I felt at the news
I realized that I was drowning
In the blood of my broken heart

Eager and hopeful
Anticipatory nerves
Catching and holding
Each breath for a brief instant
A second of pride,
Almost missed as it passes,
Cannot be deadly
Smile for a moment, in joy
Release the clenched fist
Holding doubt so fervently
Believe you can, and you will

I hurt a man
Out of insensitivity
I hurt a man
Through thoughtless pride
I hurt a man
With my inner truths
I hurt a man
With insecurities
I hurt a man
Thinking he didn't care
I hurt a man
Who is my friend
I hurt a man
Who thought he loved me
I hurt a man

Pushed back across the line
The line between *** and love
Loving you no less than yesterday
Wanting you more with each insight
Caught between your fear of intimacy
And my abundant affection
Missing the way you want me
Wanted me...
Want me Still?
Berated for loving you
Jagged dagger wounds heal slowly
While loving you no less than yesterday
No apologies for purposeful pain
You proved yourself right, though you are so wrong
You just don't want to know
Remember me with affection you were too afraid to show
Think of me often, and realize
I love you...still

Traces of you line every moment silver,
     even in my darkest day
Traces of you can make the empty linger,
     the second you walk away

Traces of you are my hidden treasure,
     a joy that is all my own
Traces of you are too fine to measure,
     yet brighten my darkness alone

Traces of you make life worth living,
     the birth of my very smile
Traces of you make ease of forgiving,  
     though memories tend to beguile

Traces of you turn hell into glory,  
     then turn back the other way
Traces of you rewrite the story,
     every second of every day

This poem has been submitted for possible publication.  It will be reposted as soon as possible upon final determination.  Please feel free to peruse my poesy at your leisure.

Thank you so much,
PrttyBrd

Armed with empty sentiment and kindness
Sharing just enough to weaken defenses
A whiff of insecurity
And trust disintegrates
With one swift blow

a limp body
carried in broken arms
to a funeral pyre
hidden in the woods

tinder, salt-saturated
won't catch
drowning in the perception
of failure

life flows out
and seeps in
healing in unfettered
emotion

exhaustion bleeds thought
cracks fuse invisibly strong
still feeling both less
yet more, somehow

pyre lays unlit
as the heart dreams ablaze
in lost memories
of a life not yet lived

one without the other
cannot exhale
breathing in all the nothing
looking for the only thing

not knowing what or where
but the when is now
as wood sits on the ashes
of what came before

in the jolt of drowning
on overflowed tears
it flows out of each
and into the other

cracks fade
accidental truth is never an accident
too tired to continue
it was found where it lay sleeping

patient and blind
sprouts into the best
of unseen possibilities
the day you carried me in silence

Tortured inside myself
Watching in measured silence as the glass empties...again
Nervous laughter and high hopes
Tug of war lost,
As I cannot hold the stare that the glance grew into
The stare that sparked the notion of possibility
Liquid courage and bare feet
Silly jokes and that smile
That smile that melts down defenses
And breaks the dam of restraint
Impatient and emboldened
I step outside myself
As the lines blur, then disappear
**** the wine that drowned my judgment
**** that smile that drew me in
A tentative brush of the ankle
Waters test warm
Ravenous, we dive in

This poem has been submitted for possible publication.  It will be reposted as soon as possible upon final determination.  Please feel free to peruse my poesy at your leisure.

Thank you so much,
PrttyBrd

I read your words according to my mood,
Time of day, and perception of caring
And yet, you alter those easily
I love the hint of a smile
Though I cannot see what isn't there
Your voice in my mind as you whisper my name
Lures me to the brink with a sigh
Longing to be touched by delicate hands
Kissed with blatant intention
You, my love, my lust, my naughtiest desire
You are my darkest temptation

Vowed forever
Forever ago
Still my love stands
It can't be settling if it's real
Or so I allowed myself, too readily, to believe
Princes and fairytales are to be outgrown
Taught independence and choice
By a society that has given up
On the higher meanings in life
Yet, here you are
A heart that beats as mine does
A soul that is part of my own
A person complete with me, in me
I am whole
I have seen the past
I believe in the future
I have finally been found
Without being allowed to believe
I was ever lost
We are as one through time
But this time,
I have been found vowed forever
Forever ago

heart beats
in the hand of another
grated like cheese
forsaken
unrecognizable
and utterly...

                                                     ­           unlovable

Distance looms
In close proximity
A thousand miles away
Close enough to touch
Together alone
Alone Together
No words
Silence is deafening
A smile and a nod
Polite discomfort
Alone together
Together alone