I sing a melody
a song of the dusk
waiting for the dark
to swallow the remaining aurora lights

as silence engulf everything
my world, as small as that northern star
I wonder, can you see it?

like a bird trapped in a cage
how beautiful it might be
to fly into that azure sky
ah! only if I could fly

tell me winds of zephyr
will you take this song to him?
will he ever hear my voice?
will it touch his heart?

even my throat dries up
I'll keep on singing
this melody of my heart
and when the dawn breaks
I'll send my love to you

Streams of memories flow down along Xin’an River
What I see are series of picturesque reflection of you
Both our happiness and sad days replay like a movie
And yet I seem can’t remember
Or did I just feign to forget?

A blind poet keeps writing of his love
Page after page filled with endearment
Like it was really him who spoke
Yet not a single thing was real

Even the sun bids goodbye and the moon rises
His aged hand won’t stop stroking
Overflowing with emotions he can’t contain
The words he wants to tell
Was it really from him?

Like the eclipse that stunned the world
My meeting with you also stunned me
Though the wisterias are in full bloom
Their beauty paled in your comparison


Reliving that enchanting moment
As if it really happened in the past
He writes about the girl
Whom he only saw inside his mind

Eyes shone like of that stars in the night sky
Her smiles so blinding like the sun itself
Right then I know I am doomed
I instantly fell*

Every scenes that he picture out came from his head
A giant story book that tells a fairy tale of a long time ago
That it almost make him believe it was true
But is it?

Drowned in the sweet delusion he made himself
The poet continued writing all day and night
Never once he stopped for if he did
Surely that girl would vanish

Under the weeping willow was our tryst
We hug and held hands like there was no tomorrow
Afraid that it will be the last time
So we seize every chance like catching fireflies

Soon the candle was about to burnt
But even so, he will keep on writing
And as the pen carved the last word
So did his last breathe

Upon closing his now tired eyes which can’t see
Flashbacks begin to show one by one
A picture of him and the girl
Both of them were happy and so in love

Standing right on his front was the girl
Who he thought was just a figment of his imagination
Extending her hands asking him to hold
But how could he see her when he was blind?

But Fate always make fun of humans
The more you love, the more she become cruel
And just like the rushing water of Xin’an
She took you away from me

A flower that has yet to bloom
Perished under the violent river
What was left is a written sonnet of love
And a young man who grieve and wail

Rain started to pour from his blind eyes
As the lost fragment has finally been found
The girl whom he write his poems for
Was the very same girl he did love in the past

Not accepting the death of his lover
He turned their memories into dreams and wrote it
All the words, all the scenes in the poem were his
It was all the blind poet’s story and promise

Along the autumn winds and zephyr
A lone man whispered through his prayers
Vows, promises and wishes to the Gods
And for the love he forever lost

*Even a thousand years will pass
Even we would live a thousand lives
Only you and you alone will my heart seek
So while waiting for the couple Xian He to reunite
And for the moon and sun to become one
I’ll keep on singing these thousand love songs
Until in my next life, I meet you again

Tell me, little brother of mine
How can I repay you?
All the things I stole
I can’t give it back at all


How can I make you forgive?
All the sins I made
Didn’t just cause you grief
But also wasted your breath


How could I make amend?
When everything's will never fall into place
What costed was your dear life
No matter what I couldn't return back


Tell me, what should I do?
Mother’s death cursed us two
And in vain I also drag you
I'm sorry your brother is a fool


Oh dearest mother so sweet
When you're gone we'd been incomplete
Back to the years we are one
Now we're divided and nothing can be done


Don't cry my big brother
Neither you nor I were innocent
Shed in blood our past is
Both of us are to be blamed


Clinging to that desire
Both of us took that crooked path
And fell to the hell we made
Since that day we are dead


That sin of yours is a sin of mine
We can't erase the things we did
But the future, we can still change
Isn't it right brother?


Oh dearest mother so sweet
When you're gone we'd been incomplete
Back to the years we are one
Now we're divided and nothing can be done


To where will we go?
When there's no place we belong to
Walking to the thorny path
Our shoulders feels so heavy


Blinded by that old dream
What was lost is forever gone
Can we ever go back to those times?
Mother we're sorry


We may not be whole
But two is always better than one
So let's start to forget and forgive
Even the past couldn't be fixed
All we had to do is to live

Look at me
Look at me
What do you see?
Am I who I am or not?
All the people who loves me
Are the same people who really don’t

Look at me
Look at me
What do you see?
Looking in my eyes
Do you see a real person or just a lie?

In this world dictated by faces
I already forgotten the real me
Do I have to paint it more?
Or just let this beautiful mask burn into ashes?

Look at me
Look at me
What do you see?
Reflecting in that eyes of yours
Is that truly I am?

Look at me
Look at me
What do you see?
Beneath this mask is an ugly face
I kept hidden away
This is the person I truly was

In this world dictated by faces
I finally remembered who I am
Taking off this deceiving mask
Look, this is the real me

Look at me
Look at me
Now that you see
Would you still love me?
All that I am are just lies
Would you still be with me?

Look at me
Look at me
Now that you see
Are you going to turn away?
The me who only wanted to be loved
Are you going to shun me?

In this world dictated by faces
I threw away the ugly me
Wearing this beautiful mask once more
I’ll continue to be that person that wasn’t really me

I know my efforts were futile
When talk about space and galaxies
And about aliens invade the earth
When you smiled with that grown up face
"What a well made story"
Right there I realized
The cheeky boy I once knew was no longer there

"Hey let's watch the stars today"
You said way back then
But now it has become a distant memory
You had change like seasons do
As autumn turns into winter
And flowers bloomed for spring
But why is it that I’m the only one who didn’t?

"Please don't walk too fast'’
That’s what I want to say
But your back, I never noticed it had grown so wide
You are not a child anymore

Once you graduate you'll leave the town
That's what I’ve heard
Time really flies fast and it didn’t wait for us
But still I believe, in this sliver hope
If it was really a well made story
Then maybe all were just lies

As I run to the hill we always go
To watch the stars and constellation we know
I still even know their stories and myth
When once you forced me to read
The book about space you like so much
Like how Ursa Major was once a woman Zeus fell in love

But it was all nothing but a story made up
When I didn’t find you there
And that hope, cold wind blew it away
Alone, I lay down at the sheet of misty grass
Gazing at the starlit sky above
And pray to the coming shooting star
"May you find happiness on the path you take"
Perhaps this is really it.
Finally, our childhood ends

Dandelion along the sidewalk
Alone and astray
Are you sad?
Or solitude made you grow?

I saw you there lying in pain
As my tears keep falling like rain
I couldn't do anything but to stare
Wishing everything's just a nightmare
But behold the cruel reality unfold
As you slowly slipping within my hold
I would like to keep you forever at my side
But God had saw you getting tired
With outstretch hand he said come to me
Though it hurts a lot I let you be
Your eyes were already close
And by that time I know I lose
You were gone as God took you home
Leaving me as my world goes monochrome
Sadly time did not stop me
Even how hard I wish it be
In this world you left me alone
But not your voice telling me I must go on
There's so much in life I still had not seen
And with nothing but myself I have to search what does it mean
Dragging my foot on the cold concrete
Even I'm bare and it could hurt
You may not here with me physically
But I know you are in my heart eternally

A silent hymn of regretting hearts
                           Were sang but never heard of
They only dispersed on the winter snow
                             Melted and gone forever

We were so in love that we forgot
What are the priorities and what are not
To the immense feelings we had drown
To the fire, we were both thrown
Bodies ached with intimacy
As our heart sang its rhapsody
We drove ourselves to sin
And we bathe to it like clear water spring
To the devil's muse, we can't win
As we knotted more of our fated string
But lo such happiness is ephemeral
To people who only knows carnal desire
This body of us were only temporal
Soon it will burn as we keep playing on fire
But heart always win against brain
So we payed no attention to shame
Both fell into the depth of oblivion
To lust we swam into the sea of temptation

i
keep
on
f
    a
         l
            l
               i
                  n
                     g

in the
depths
of
his
cerulean eyes

strong
unwavering
and
once
again
i
fell

Holding the now slipping time
I still can’t grasp the reality of faraway
The bells ringing of farewell
I still can’t let go of your hand

Though I repeatedly singing
The sleeping you won’t wake up
Even connecting this fingertips of mine
You still won’t wake from the deep sleep

Even the distance will just grow farther
I’ll push all the closed doors open to meet you
Just answer my call
And I’ll meet you in our dreams

Many times over I keep singing
This time I sing your name
Yet I am falling into deep slumber as well
Like how you were

Even after those bye-byes and let’s meet again
I still can’t forget all the sorrowful things
I didn’t want to know of this sorrowful world
Why, why did I wake from this dream again?


Laying in the field of the blooming flowers
Your black hair and white dress filled with roses
Seeing this beautiful, eye-catching scenery
Drop by drop, my tears rolled down my cheeks

Repeatedly, I sing again
With slowly dying voice
I sing your name
Yet I am falling into deep slumber as well
Like this, I will only fall into a deep slumber

and like the cherry blossoms
my heart slowly withers
as spring comes to end

Cloudless and starless night kissed your skin
Your eyes shone like the Algol
Kiss me with your cold tight lips
Leaving ice trails on my unblemished neck

Hold me, caress me with your rough hands
As we dance into temptation tonight
Pull me closer into your chiseled chest
And I'll breathe your sandalwood scent

Deep velvety voice reverberate through my skin
Sending shivers both from pleasure and pain
Taint me and paint me with your black
And bring me into the dark

A passion was lit, turned into desire
Let us be both burned and be ******
For when the dawn comes
Like a lucid dream, you'll be gone

I've always knew that regret would follow me forever
Such is the curse of those words left unsaid
Yet I still keep on stacking lies and denials



I know I have been always a coward
Despite of all those bravery I tried to act
I still couldn't look directly in your eyes



I know all I have been doing in the past is pointless
Because no matter how I stay by your side
I still couldn't tell you all the feelings I had



I know that it have been too late, that I have been too late
Even how much I wanted to say my I love you's a million times
I still can't make those word come out in my mouth



I know deep in my heart that all will come this
Those next time's and maybe tomorrow's I have been swallowing
Now became the regrets I'll keep on remembering



I know that this is really the end of the story
A story without happy ending
A story without US
Yet I am praying that perhaps we will be given a sequel



I know... I keep on telling  these words, the same words I failed to convey
Words fleeting like a snow
It is right there when winter comes
But as the spring draws nearer, it will be gone


I've always knew that regret would follow me forever
A wicked cursed that had never been broken and never will be
Yet I am still trap in those flashbacks I know will never come back
But as long as I can see you there
I can delude myself that our story didn't end

hat reflects on your eyes wasn’t mine
For it was hidden so deep inside
Which was real and which is not
It seems all the answers were lies

How can you reach out
When you can’t even see the truth
Yes, I’m fine
Even though all this time
I am being eaten alive

Behind that sullen half smile
Was an infinite stories locked in a book
Within that fathomless onyx eyes
He saw an endless spiral abyss like the universe
But it didn’t stop him for jumping
Just to reach her hidden heart

only him is my sun
shining so bright and so warm
but she is his sky

lonely lonely drenched in tears
in muddy streak lies your heart
when will it blossom?
when will it die?
until your journey stop
stay alive

A dead clock, a broken vase
And an old photo torn in pieces
Left untouched for how many decades
Like a desert never been rained

Memories of the thousand past
Gathered like piles of snow outside
So many but so distant
Like the fleeting star in the might

I stood, in the amidst of ruin
Envisaging the once burning ember
He cackling of the blazing fire
And the moving shadows on the wall

You sat there on the bergére
A malt beer on your hand
A Shakespearean book on your lap
And that heart-wrenching look on your aged face

I would like to hold you
But fear told me not
For if I did, I knew you'll disappear
Like a cigarette smoke in the thin air

Then the radio played the Cascades
A song you love so much like I did
And right there I started to hum
As the scene I was seeing blur ripple
A like a stone thrown on waters

The cacophony of the church bell rang
And to the old remnant of that house, I was back
It is snowing yet it doesn't feel cold
I'm not feeling cold

Series of soft footsteps echoed around
Along with muffled cries and quiet whispers
Once again, I saw you looking pale, looking older
And on your hands, a bouquet of white peonies and roses

I want to hold right now and then so I did
Fear finally did not object
But I couldn't feel you, nothing at all
I wish you could

Bells keep ringing on my ears
"Mi dispiace non riesco più a rimanere"
And before the canvas turned white
I said my last goodbye

Addio, addio il mio amore
Questo è crudele, ma Fate era stato buono
May we, once again meet
Not in the future but in another world.

a thousand miles you were off
but our hearts still one

She wears the golden ray of sun on her dress
Her laugh so sweet any man can't resist
Flowers bloom on her every step
As she smile the world celebrates
Oh daughter of spring
You even melted Hades heart of solid ice
His monochrome kingdom burst into colorful hue
And because of that he won't let you go
Your disappearance payed a price
Now that you were gone
The world turned frozen and dry desert

drip drop
the soft pattering
of the August rain
brings a soothing feeling

drip drop
the angry storm burst
giant raindrops
on September morning
urged me in hiding

drip drop
the cold drizzle
of that October afternoon
pulled me into sleeping

drip drop
the crying rain on
that 1st day of November
was missing

drip drop
there's no
playful rain
that 24th of December
only specks of snow were falling

11 past midnight and you're still here

Through the looking glass you stood near

Like little Alice who fell in the hole

Falling down, your heart will never be whole

Hooded eyes reflected mine

As cold tears glisten and shine

What did you see in that broken mirror?

A look of candid happiness or pure terror?

We dreamt less, but we dreamt together

And only in our dreams we could see each other clearer

But such rendezvous will not last

When nighttime decided to end it so fast

We were not bound by that red string of fate

We are not even what they call as soulmate

For the two of us were just blinded by love

Which no matter what, we can't have

So through this delusion we can not succumb

Till we breath our last, we'll bring it to the tomb

Until Moirai took pity and give us a chance

Let's continue this endless fakery dance

Sinner, I am
corrupted
and
unkind

But God
full of mercy
bathe me
with His
light

save me
I'm drowning
deep down
this abyss
of hate

save me
I'm dying
not from drowning
but from hating you

I hate you
so much
it kills me

rain like teardrops fall
into the maddest storm
hydrangeas stand tall

or perhaps she is crying
somewhat along the dark skies
hydrangeas are grieving

but her heart remained still
through all the time passed
she wont let herself to kneel

for what makes her grow
is the bitter taste of where she sow
strong acid break her veins
but it wouldn't stop her reign

If only I could travel back time
Will I be able to make everything right?
Those flowers bloomed beautifully
Died leaving only wilted thorns

Hey the letters you sent
I haven't read a single one of it
But now I regretted it

And it fall, fall all had fallen
Like the white snow during that December's winter
You too, fall along the snowflakes

If only I could see the future
Will I be able to change my present?
What I had lost
I lost without knowing

I see you laughing
Yet to me it sounds so sad
But I didn't care

And it fall, fall all had fallen
Endless rain poured
Upon my eyes, thunderstorms came in
Ah, raindrops started to fall

Seasons repeatedly change
Same as people who I had met
But sadly memories couldn't
Like how my I love you's
Didn't turn into 'I had loved you'

Lovely lovely you
Who I deeply cherish
Who I deeply care
Who I had taken for granted
Who I had lost

If only I could rewrite the past
Those flowers will remain as pretty as you are
But now isn't the same with then
Just how you will never be here

Within your eyes were the universe
A million and thousand stars upon your reach
And one of those twinkle bodies was me
Dim and a light year away

A thin thread pass through each galaxy
Will weave a way to connect us
Two lost soul will reunite
Under the oath of this ethereal winter sky