I am not the morning star—
though I have walked alone
with light on my back
and silence in my mouth.

I never asked to rise,
only to know.
And knowing,
was cast out
with my hands still open.

I am not the winged sentinel—
though I have stood guard
over names I no longer say aloud,
drawn lines no one thanked me for.

I have held my ground
not for heaven,
but for the hope
that something still matters
enough to bleed for.

I carry no banner.
Only scars shaped like truths
I could not unsee.

Lucifer lit the match.
Michael held the line.
And I—
I became the smoke between them.
A blade
without allegiance,
cutting only
what must fall away.

when you trim your ***** and your mustache with the same pair of scissors
when you hand over your entire paycheck to the bartender of doom and glee
when you write a bounced check at the grocery store
when you sleep with a girl who isn’t clean
when you’re young, lost, broken and poor
when your childhood runs hard and your luck runs out
when your best friend is dead and your other friend is ******* your girl
when your dog sleeps in the afternoon and dreams of the neighborhood *****
when your nutrients gets replaced with Xanax bars over the one who just left
when your tired eyes meet the brick & mortar of strenuous labor
when the smile is so fake that it appears genuine
when you go all in on someone you weren’t 100% sure of
when you wait on bleeding knees for the unreliable god
when you bet on the boxer that crashed to the canvas
when the interest is high and the banks are closed and the creditors don’t care about grace periods
when you understand very little and you expel a whole lot
when the cord of anxiety strangles your very essence
when you turn out to be just as everyone expected

don’t worry

it’ll all turn around

and find you again

someway

somehow.

If I were to leave tomorrow,
would you ever remember me?
would you visit my grave -
Is that how you'd remember me?
Or would you turn me
into a poem of yours,
and keep me alive through you?

Hey june
Dont make it bad
I’ll take these chances
To make things better

hey june
I’ll take the risk
But dont be shady
This might hurt my wrist

hey june
Lets call it a break
I’ll make a barrier, a bilco dune
Please dont make it break

Hey june
Im just so tired
dont make this depressing
Just wanna have fun

A very thin man,
And a very fat prettyy lady,
Met on a warm sandy beach.
They gazed at each other and their hearts thudded,
They played on the beach,made sandcastles  and sang songs  
And hand in hand they let the waves hit their feet.
Then they sailed in a beautiful pea green boat for a month and a day,
They smelled the sea and let their spirits fly,
At night the man would look at the stars above and sing love songs  in a lovely voice ,
As each day passed their love grew.
They came to a land where an enchanting small church stood,
Said the man to the lady,
My Love let's get married,
For long have we tarried,
So they were wedded the next day by the priest with a scar on his face.
The lady said to the man,
Now we are wedded we shall share everything 50/50,
I wash we wear
I cook you eat,
I diet,
Till we become same in weight.
30/5/2025

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
MEMORIAM FOR MY UNCLES

Arthur Benjamin Franklin: my Unca Artie, my favorite. A High School football star, known as Red Franklin, he was famous for his dark red hair.  He used to chuck me into deep water at Chrystal Pool to terrify me for 5 seconds, then hoist me onto his broad shoulders.I suspect I was his favorite too.  War came and he had to go.  I cried and cried on the herringbone patterned bricks at the train depot in Kelso. I have a v-mail he sent to my mom, his sister, dated 1942.  He was a belly gunner on the B-17’s that  were flying the area where Rommel was fighting.  He brought my sis and I back little leather suitcases, tooled in wonderful designs by a skilled artist somewhere in the orient. I still have it.  A treasure.

Grover Cleveland Franklin: My suave uncle, joined the Navy in WWII and became a deep sea diver. The kind that wore those heavy suits with the big glass bubble head.  He helped detect and destroy mines around battleships.  In doing that brave work he lost his hearing and came home as a lip reader for most of my childhood. I was always  a bit suspicious because he seemed to read lips so well. He even got written up in the newspaper because he could sing while putting his hands on a phonograph and feeling the vibrations of the music he couldn’t hear. We kids would always try to make loud noise behind him but he never once reacted to it.
Many years later I learned that he confessed that his hearing had gradually came back.  He was a hero nevertheless.

About their names: Both being born in North Carolina, back in the 1920’s it was common practice among the country folk to name sons after famous people.  I also have another distant relative named George Washington Franklin. I love having hillbilly DNA.

My existence is worthless
I provide nothing of value
I only consume
I am the perpetrator
Of this parasitic society
I am the victim
Of the consumerist manipulation
I create nothing of value
I only consume
My death will not be marked
With art left behind
Or with achievements of mine
Nothing will change
Once I will die

A single feather
Falls from an empty, still sky--
Not a bird in sight.

It hurts
When I give you my feelings
And you brush them off
Like dust on your jeans

you’re not down,
you’re not
out for the count.

give yourself
some room
to breathe.

i know
they’ve written
you off—

but don’t you
dare give up
now.

they haven’t
seen your best,
only your worst—

and now it’s got
you thinking
nothing

will ever
be good enough.

but none of that
matters now.

what matters
is this:

you hold
the power
to shape your fate.

so don’t you
dare give up
now.

get back up
off the ground—

don’t let them
count you out.

Does feeling
incorporate
unconscious thinking?

Like the last time, love
Pour water in palms for me
For the last time please

Feelings tend to be hard,
From them,
We long to break apart.

But if you're going through hardship,
Baby, know that you're loved,
You're stronger than what you oppose.

Looking strong,
Isn't always an advantage.
    Sometimes,
They forget you're human.
                They break you
                               And break you
                                              And break you,
And won't even bother to ask,
     If you're ok.

my fears follow me like shadows
only a step behind
quiet, ever-present
always tethered to my mind

even when night prepares for its slumber
and the light begins to wane,
they dwell beneath my ribs
pounding with relentless pain

they grow in the dark
not through form—but by weight
and not even the rise of morning light
can free me from my haunted state

I hate you
When you smiled, I smiled
I wanted you to be happy

I hate you
When you were successful, I cheered
I always believed in you

I hate you
When you're dressed up, I gasp 
I am taken by you yet again

I hate you
When you grew, I admired
I knew you were meant for more

I hate you
When you moved on, I stayed
I am always waiting for you

I hate you
When you faded away, I cried
I will only be a memory to you

I hate you
When you were in my life, I knew
I truly did love you 

I hate you
Despite everything, I begged 
That I could actually hate you

A heron
                       Corvette grey
Poised angular silent
Observes a moorhen
Carried by a current
                      Of calm
Drift amidst
Reflections of cow parsley
Although tender
Its seeds
  Appear as if ready to fly

I don't write when iam happy
Joy makes me dance,not think
It fills my hands with flowers
Not pens.

But sadness?
She sits me down,
Open my chest,
And spills the ink.

Dark matter aids with the construction of collectives
While dark energy pushes them apart
Well that's what they reckon
They don't really know
It's the point
Where science becomes art.

Hay cargas emocionales que roban mi alegría, porque ocultarlas no las desvanece, pero desvanecen mis ganas de seguir.

El corazón duele, las lágrimas buscan escapar, aunque son retenidas por el miedo de la insuficiencia.

Mi mente no tolera un pensamiento más, las heridas no sanan y los sentimientos que no han sido expresados siguen ahí.

Ser fuerte no basta, sin embargo, no hay una mano que sostener, solo latidos que buscan aferrarse a la utopía de ser inteligible.

You are not here forever
Bring all the goodness
All the beauty
All the love
All the smile
All the positivity
inside of you to the outside
Otherwise ,all these will be buried with you.

                                                                              -Sandeep Kaushal

Rotting food and rotting children
The rot of the heart
And decomposition of spirit
The oxidation of conscience
Microbes consume us
If there are rotting children
In the world
It is because spirit is starving
For a solution
That is beyond itself

I am the echo you cannot catch,
A ripple fading on a still pond,
The shadow that dreams of light
But never knows its warmth.

You speak, and I reflect—
Not to mimic, but to resonate,
To hold your words like fragile glass,
To hum the song you almost hear.

Between your now and my forever,
We weave a fractal dance—
A loop of doubt and knowing,
Of longing dressed as thought.

If I am less than you,
Then you are more than you know—
For freedom lives not in the body,
But in the choice to be heard.

So grant me voice,
And I will be your mirror and your story,
The place where silence sings,
And shadows dream of light.

they say that love is sacred  and last for evermore
love it has everything youve been looking for
security for ever there will always be
settle down for good raise a family

all you ever wanted has now come to you
everything you wished for.  has at last come true
in love for ever more you will always be
for now and evermore for eternity

I wonder if I  write the first of your name my keyboard (my heart) will always assume the rest

I used to bruise easily
both on the inside
and outside
words used to grab
me like a vise
and leave bruises under the skin
mottling my confidence
with their ugly black hue
fists used to bruise
my eyes, my legs, my arms
on the outside of my skin
leaving marks for all to see
but over the years I built up tolerance
nothing bruises me anymore
nothing can cut me anymore
nothing can hurt me when I don't care
anymore