Like the arcane of the worlds
You were mysterious and captivating
Magic yearning to be explored, to be captured
I stayed to study and observe all of your essence 
Weaving signs and symbols that my eyes memorized
Speaking ancient words of forgotten love
That only my heart can understand
The source of all of that is unknown and magical
Created between us 
Enchanting what was already enchanted
Ensnaring what was already ensnared
The art of invoking stars and wonders
Existed long within your eyes
That hexed me, held me
You cast what you desired
But you didn't know
I was already yours
You never needed the universe's secrets
To achieve what we both wanted 
Go ahead and perform the occult
But you were too late
The love was there inside
Before you even touched a book
You didn't need an ingredient or secrecy
For this familiar that you summoned
To be forever yours

We were artists
But you had the brush
And I had the pen
You drew the worlds, the people
I wrote down the feelings, explanations

You captured the images perfectly
While I can only guess at the words
The way you moved your brush
While I can only stick to lines
Beauty versus perfection

You express your worlds radiantly 
But I can only write in black and white
I wished I traded my pen for a brush
To feel the colors you weaved 
To see the world beyond my script

Maybe if I knew how to color
If my pen drew more than rigid letters
You would have understood me 
In a world of black and white 
You were the color in my life

How could you ever understand
The pain that you inflicted upon me
The dreams you left me with
The rerunning of shared moments

You walked away with a smile
While I stayed in the same place, empty
Stayed in the same feelings, hopes
Stuck in place, wondering why

You laughed, you soared, you ran
While I am paralyzed, trapped, clipped
Weighed down by the memories and emotions
You gave it back to me when you were done

You made new friends, new memories
I withdrew from mine, from myself
I hit replay every hour, every day
Holding what was left in vain

You looked forward, head held high
Mine dropped low, looking back
I called you my everything
You called me a steppingstone

How could you ever understand
When you can't even empathize
How could I ever understand
When I can't even let go

I should've counted the days
When you were here 
Now I count every second
That you're not here

Our first kiss
Took my soul away
Your pink lips
Were claiming mine
Vanilla was the flavor
Your hands holding me
Scared as though I'd disappear
But I was already stuck with you
The silent gasps between us
Feeling your warmth, your needs
We had our eyes closed
But we both saw our future
You drew away, but it lingered
I was myself again
And you looked at me
With such loving eyes
We made a silent promise
Of always wanting more

Our last kiss
Was exactly the same
Claiming each other
The flavor, the breathing
Hands clutching desperately
The neediness, the warmth
The future we still saw
I drew away, but it lingered
You were yourself again
But you looked at me
With such heartbreak
We made a silent goodbye
But we always wanted more

I screamed 
"I WOULD HAVE DONE EVERYTHING FOR YOU"
"I WOULD HAVE DONE EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING"
I screamed at the top of my lungs
My fists clenched white as tears fell down
I screamed at the world
Until my heart gave out
I screamed
For someone who isnt' there anymore

My most dangerous trauma
Has the most gorgeous smile
How you haunt my dreams
That I never want to end
Your ghost lingers in my heart
And how it beats with joy and sorrow
My most beautiful trigger
Pull it, and let it go through me
You left a hole, a wound
Unforgettable in my waking moments
The scars that spelled love
Carved by mine's truly
I wish to heal one day
But I hold on to all of it 
I am not ready, I refuse to move
Erasing all the sadness and misery 
Would also mean erasing you