I walk into my room
and sit down.
But there’s nothing to feel.

Not pain.
Not peace.
Just absence
heavy and hollow.

I don’t know who I am anymore.

My hands shake.
My legs won’t still.
My heart drums
like I’m being hunted
by something I can’t see.

I thought I was strong.
I thought I could survive
being the one left behind.

But everyone I loved
they left with parts of me.
And all their promises
were blades in disguise.

Now,
alone in this dim-lit room,
I remember:
I am only human.

Not unbreakable.
Not fine.
Just pretending.

But slowly,

so slowly…

the mask slips.
The strength drains.
And I sink
to the floor,

fingers grasping
what’s no longer there.

I try to hold on
but more and more,
it all slips through.

Everything’s slipping.
And I…
I can’t go on.

No more fighting.
No more trying.

I’m—
I’m simply crying.

And everything about me
is finally
dying.

i smile,
and sometimes i almost mean it.
most times,
i don’t.
i wonder if they notice
how tightly it’s stitched on,
this grin
i wear like armor.

it drains me,
faking light
when all i carry
is the weight
of everything i can’t say.
my body rots quietly,
while my voice plays pretend.

every laugh is a wince,
every joke a plea.
“you’re the sunshine,”
they tell me.
but storms don’t shine,
and i’ve been thunder
for years.