Tonight I bleed

Bled a dark ink
Bled another tear
Bled my heart to numb
Bled my thoughts to dumb
Bled another emptiness
Bled for a necessity
Bled for love.

Bled for you
Quench my thirst.
Bleed for me,
Feed my hunger.

Nobody understands...

Why I bleed,
How silence creeps,
How a soul dies
another deathless life.

Her shape is a hidden map
For hundreds of conquistadors
Seeking what’s beyond her lap
Owning her juvenile allure

In the breadth of her landscape
Her once wilderness is tamed
Her soul locked in a bastille
While her lone temple awaits.

All she ever desires is a traveler
She deemed she once knew
Still, the stars won't the answer
When her love is due.

It doesn’t hurt at all!
That a pirate stole my precious heart
What hurts me most
Is the insult to my beautiful brain.

I don’t feel cheated at all,
That I gave you the riches and love,
How could I have known?
That I'm riding the idiocy of an idiot.

Yes it didn’t hurt babe!
Honestly, it doesn’t hurt all.
Why didn't just yet.
Pretty sure it will.

Is it that hard to accept?
That nothing is permanent.
That people had to walk away.

A stranger. A romance. A parent.
Even a long and lasting friend.
They all come and go, it hurts.

As friendships build you,
True friends slowly fades away
Slowly in the slow decay of time.  

Truth spills this bittersweet realisation.
Because we live in the present
And don't ever rely on memories.

Time are like places and places are like trains.
Stare at a familiar face at a distance,
until it becomes too far to recognize.

And as you reach the final destination,
You forget an unreachable person.
Yet the feeling remains true.

Did you let go of them? Nope.
Please my dear, do understand.
Everyone is in transit.

Dear life,

My simple rudimentary existence
Is ready to be
GONE.

If I’m gone,
How much pain will there be,
To equate the joyful memories?

If the world’s
an open letter,
I’m unread.

A bad ink,
Erased.
Time-worn.

I’m an empty piece
Of a shell
Living life’s own accord.

Stuck in mediocrity
Whose ambition is neutered
by self-doubt.

When I’m gone,
I’ll accept nothingness
With tacit acquiescence.

Would society remember
The chasm
of my bipolarity.

Their sardonic humors,
Smother me
to death.

Their greatness
Makes me
So small

When I’m gone,
Let them be aroused,
about my idiocy.

And thereafter,
Let them forget,
about my early demise.

Let this mortal coil,
be unwashed,
From a colossal of insecurities.

When I’m gone.

There are was a time,
I asked the dear Sun,
why can't he steal,
the night away?

He said,
he loved the moon,
he had to die,
every night.

But how does
a star explain
the loneliness
I felt that day?

When I loved,
I never cared,
the reasons why,
we mattered.

But when you left,
I calculated
chemicals and dark matter
to solve a broken heart.

The mystery
remains in cosmos
yet the pain
was real enough.

I was white,
Devoured with love.
Touched with fire,
By the sun's warm glow.

Suddenly I'm red,
Made to love.
Where forever was devoid,
By a broken heart.

I was intensely saturated,
by reminiscing sunsets.
Finding myself,
in different shades.

Now am covered,
with too much colors.
if love exists,
albeit it's half-truth.

What could be more romantic
than the rain?
It whispers words of love
I longed to yearn.
Out-pours noises
secluding me away from time.
Runs these tingling sensations
like a lover on my side.

Whilst I grabbed
a cup of coffee,
I could travel my words
like music.
With every droplets,
the rain calls my name.
Sayin' love my dear
isn't made for free.

It is my reminiscence.
The virtue of loneliness
occurs at midnight.

Dare to ask the silence.
It will tell you
exactly who you are.

The midnight I yearn for love
Of purpose I lost
Of reasons wanting to be found.

Midnight's a sin of time
Your epiphany
Your slap of reality

It is sadness.
And the greatest anxiety
is your true self.

I miss you,
Wondering where are you right now?
Or if you miss me,
Wondering why I don't hear from u in a day.
Or do we just let another day to pass by,
To keep missing each other again and again?

After all these years,
You came to say HI,
without even saying GOODBYE.

Searching for your lover
is writing countless poems.
And finding yourself sober
as you heed those silent songs.

It's like chasing the abstract meaning,
of a paradoxical painting.
And wonder yourself endlessly playing,
with melodies from a broken string.

Finding your love is an art,
You'll take countless shots.
You will be loved and be hurt,
But you'll keep learning.

And when you find the one,
He'll be the song to sing.
Till all words are sung
And unheard melodies are strummed.

You'll be an empty canvass,
Or a chaotic visual,
With every stroke you'll follow,
You'll love like there's no tomorrow.

But do you ever wonder,
how a line or two were able to touch you?
Words find you as you wander,
Lost in search for your future lover.

We both bid our goodbyes
and the idea of permanence shattered
After we believed in time,
Our love didn't quite last forever.

You can find ours
in a shell of collective memories
Like those unreachable stars
whose worth didn't diminish.

It was short-lived
But I believe in memory
That the bond were never broken
And that our love was right.

There will be more great loves.
But there's only one right love,
Like a page or a line of a story,
You'll never ever forget.

I miss you
that I could repeat saying it
like I don't know what to say
or how to say it right
in a way that it hurts you
as how it hurts mine now.

I miss you!

One day came
I engulf myself
in assumed forgetfulness
away from toxic memories.

I faced the day
Counting more days ahead
Going easy
for this heart of mine.

Am I too scared to forget?
Is there a pill?
Cause I still play pretend,
to memories that made me ill.

I caught you in the middle
of fight and surrender
Stealing my love
from the inevitable fate.

I found you searching,
In the middle of right and wrong,
between daylight and dark night,
But I chose to cry and hide.

I found a moment to love,
yet the moment wasn't right.
And when I found the right moment,
the love doesn't seem right.

Yet here we are again,
Playing hide-and-seek,
Wondering who's searching and hiding,
How do I ever find you?

Is there a way
to play the game of love?
Are there tricks
to treat it differently?

Is there a way
to be unbroken?
Can I defy gravity
to not fall so easily?

Is there a way
to play it safe?
Is there a way to guard
these feelings of mine forever?

Is there a way to love
without hurting?
Is there a way to move on
without crying?

Why love seems not enough?
Have I given a lot?
Or have you given me less?
Yet, it seems not enough.

Is it too much take?
I can't give you any less.
I can only give you lots.
Would you take it?

Words were spoken.
How much is true?
What does one weigh?
What does my love value?

Times were spent together.
Yet it was enough.
Here I am alone thinkin'
You could've spent more.

Sometimes love just ain't enough.
Two people fall in love.
Yet it might be unreciprocated.
Is it worth breaking?

I know not of love
And when I'll do
I'll have a heart
That's whole and true

So if you're out there
You'd be worth the wait
Forever I swear
A love wholeheartedly

Years is just a little time
People may come and go
But when you're mine
Promise, I'll be good to you.

Forever yours,

See the perfect blush
I try so hard
I didn't rush
I gently do them bad

Getting you to notice
My spams of feelings
These hundred selfies
Never had you thinking.

Tell someone how you feel,
even if that person won't return it.
It might many frogs to be kissed,
fishes to be caught.
But if you won't give your feelings a try,
you've lost quite a few steps to the right person.

Let the feelings breath love,
let it break,
and let it die,
let it learn to love again.

Whereas we learn to love again,
we earn each passing day
that would take us through the ideal person meant for us.

You'll never know.
Someone's out there miles from you.
Or getting there halfway.
Or just sitting next beside you.
Never be afraid of your feelings,
of being resorted into an unrequited love.

Love someone
cause its sweet
and pure
without expecting the cost.

We sat,
We talked,
Of many things,
And when,
We spoke,
of LOVE.
We're stunned,
In silent.

We cant,
We wont,
We didn't know.
If
its
gonna
be
US.

Can we be friends?

As I walk
along these
empty chances
of broken dreams
Sometimes
its best to leave
should there be pieces
for me to pick up.
And yet you sweep
even the tiniest debris
that I too
so shall time
can never mend
your crumbled
broken heart.
But that's alright
albeit, no matter -
how blind am I
nor how you're done
with love,
Am a stubborn soul
with an improbable luck
aiming still
shooting uncertain
these broken arrows
in the dark.

Your love
is as big as a city
where dreams
sparkle
into glittering gold
and settle down
into dust
at sunset.

It shines like
neon lights,
I couldn't blink
even a single lie;
I fathom can't
your marquee of disguise,
shall I be the truth kindles
in your storyline.

I swayed
in jazz and trumpets,
in bizarre acquaintances,
in colours and rhythms,
and rush of yesteryears;
Still - I know not yet
if the feeling
is what I danced here for.

It bewilders me
if midnights play
hide-and-seek;
Whence I yearn
for you only
over cold nights,
just to be found hidden
'neath your sole sheet.

This place breathes
of smog and grit,
whilst caffeines
are sip of my epiphany
with morning reveries
be risen with clarity
unless I heed ,
quench of the outside rain.

Albeit
the mighty city -
stole me,
cheated me,
despised me,
all of me;
I guess -
It's alright.

I shall hide
out of sight.
hear me whisper
in my quiet slumber
of memories
of seagulls and springtime
and my weary head
way back home.

I smiled
at how you smile
just to see you smile
for someone else's smile.

What truth says?
he's absolute,
What says he?
He's wrong.
Neither what's true to him,
cannot be true to you.
Nor what's good to them,
cannot be true at all.
What do you see,
cannot be truest.
What's right,
isn't always imposed.
Neither what's written,
holds the truth
nor what's spoken
should you follow.
Isn't what god says,
he's the truth?
Vox populi, vox dei,
Hell not to me.
Should I believe what?
Not all truth.
For how I felt,
love is true.

Truth cannot be told,
but one thing is,
that is,
I LOVE YOU.

This is how the
broken heart
sounds...

It plays over and over
In sleepless nights
you hear -

An unspeakable silence
heavy noises of agony
trigger

no matter how distant
yesterday echoes
delays that ****

compressing a feeling
that reverbrates
painful memories

Hear the sound
of a broken heart?
It never beats the same.

These four walls
conceal
a lost dream
beneath
the glittering stars

turn into
sparkling diamonds
slowly
fall down
to my cheek.

All there was
what I wanted
ever wanted
is TO BE
LOVED.

The world works,
not the way you live.
And it always hurts,
you work not what you love.

I once have a simple dream,
to be GREAT.
But people are what they seem
the hardest to defeat.

Some love is a butterfly
Not meant to stay
Lives on a lovely summer place
Sometimes gone in a haze

Had I known
Wings are for keep
To cheat the blues
And feel high.

I saw the gust of winter
Walks a billowing shadow across the field
Unmasking all covers of a happy summer
Whispering a once cold secret untold.

The dire wolf leashed under a leafless tree
Warns the old wise moon for omen
Has she come to betray me for a visit?
Or, steal me a kiss of vengeance.

Skin as pale as snow
Flowing in a cosmos of abyss
Thought ocean devours everything
Flesh with rocks can't rise above.

Has justice been this early winter?
Knocking on every door
Warranting about Summer 1990
Of a wrath under a sycamore tree.

Three wise men under the stars
A girl dances with the corns
Happy feet can't help but wander
Leading her to where daddy is.

Safe on these arms of forever
Carry me over where home is
Lit the light up unveils
Two shadows under the stars.

Seeing through a thick fiber
A nameless fear of silence
Not even a single drop of needle
Till her breath has faded.

A soul so old, so true
So single it hurts.
In the crowd of joys,
So alone it hurts..

There was a time
when the wait ends
and broken hearts don't exist.

That was the time
I held my head
and heartbeats are clocks.

There were those moments
With no beginnings,
Neither endings.

That very moment,
We would travel back when
During the happiest days.

Not counting hours,
But sipping coffee
Living same sunset.

That was the time,
We remember us
While time forgets itself.

Distance is neither finite
Nor Infinite,
The Cosmos is just US.

Time spent together
Souls colliding
Were rules of the universe.

I'd go back in time
From my porch
Till I held out for love.

That in time,
I close my eyes
And I'd see your face

That in time,
Time will have meaning
What the stars are made up of...

...is

...YOU.

Divided by nation,
Crippled by religion,
Although the principle
of RESPECT
is one simple thing
to understand.

If love is a crime
then the most heinous
is to play cupid
because these arrows
may offer dreams for two
but my suicide daily.

To be near you
at least feeds
my longing heart;
but to see you
'neath those stars
with someone
kills my very soul.

To live is to wonder.
Stars at night,
Sun to my morning.
You have loved.

You're gonna love again.

If this blanket is an ocean,
And the ripples are waves,
I'd travel the opposite miles,
So we could collide.
Along we roll,
Transversing each other.

But waves are waves,
While this blanket has a different story.

You watch her glow with love
You made her with all your might.
In her earnest willing love,
You lost your inner light.

Lurking in the abyss of shadow,
Over them and waiting for yours.
No one gives a **** below,
To a love that never knocks your door.

You're all empty and black,
How do you color yourself in?
Your wondrous envy seems stacked,
Renders you from deep within.

Love him on your own,
Love him till the earth is ******.
No one love in her own alone,
For one is two and two is one.

See how this great love,
Turns into a monstrous hazard.
A mighty fire you couldn't walk out of,
Unreciprocated, unrequited, unheard.

Why build her a bridge?
When it's silly not for you.
A love you never had won't bewitch.
When said all things are true.

Now through your walls,
Go dry your tears.
Shout your endless hall,
Till it reaches to someone's ears.

Time to tell the bucket of pains,
To conquer despair amid vanity.
And friendship is there to gain,
Against your lair of unconquered fantasy.

A pain that's not clenched,
A friend that's honest.
Let love that longs to be quenched,
Be deserved a beautiful promise.

Love is learning to let go,
Of yourself in a mazy bird's cage
Imprisoned as a fool so long ago,
Time to fly higher for a new age.