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he sighed until his breath matched
the room again
and i watched
as the lights fell over his skin
meeting his complexion
you whispered

" I wish I had met
you when you were older"

and I replied

" I wish I had met you
when you were younger"
The 5am jet lag settles in
and I’m adjusting into the new,
he takes my suitcase down for me to the bottom of the hilled road
and clouds and looks through the glass.
In love.
Every time
we are apart
I learn how to be alone
again

I am thankful for
slow sunny days
repairing my
independence

just so I can
pretend I am ok
with missing you
when i speak to him
i speak to the universe
I saw a glimpse
of what our
heaven could be
my intuition

was a cave of

torches

beckoning new beginnings
bittersweet storms
ocean blue tears
at least now
you and me
are equal
in my deepest
exhale
i found the
weight i carried
float away
from me
and now
i can finally
breathe
we paint by
candlelight
as summer draws
to an end
yet all I see
are new chapters
forming in your eyes
california sea, late august
salt in my eyes,
the statue stood
as a mirage of you and
me, once so grounded and strong
now only the
waves can break it away
i am redefining what home is
and should feel like.

i like how they know each other so well,
they see each others flaws and
love regardless
like the heads coming out of the cinema screens at night, tired.
a trail of tiredness accompanied with them  
like smoke ends following their coats.
we went for coffee, i don't even like coffee
but i liked his grip around my waist and
the ten days he is here for like a cigarette
that burns out and he re lights again for comfort

we went for a walk and  the sun poked holes through the tree tops. we talked about education choices, then circulated our breathing back to
crisp
cool
delicate lungs

we went to sleep, on an old sofa bed,
piling duvets up on top of each other to sink into
i stay up too late and then i'm always the first to sleep
i wonder if he falls because i do
let's make
plans that
we never
want to change
we shouldn't
function
but somehow
we do
And suddenly
the cosmos
appeared in his eyes
and I was just a star
i like
living in
your past
but i
need the
future you
we take your car out
cruising away
into a night time lullaby
i wrote about us

as the sun and the moon

to understand

intangible forms of distance
this is how we love now -
our phones heating up
as our desire cools down.
i was entangled in mental fog
yet i was at my closest to the divine
you were the bitter
taste of every
reoccurring dream
let's go back
to the nights
in your car
when simple
was our middle
name
you took the
easy route with
her
instead
of the long
way home
with me
my creativity is a never ending
energy source

       anytime it wavers- it must come back like a

boat out in the deep dark waters,
it must to return to shore
Some moments,
when it gets late
I am impatience for all things

but then it eases away just like

how the european life does to me.
just like a firefly
i drew closer to your light
but in distance i remembered
that i had my own
like two cars
at a crossroad junction
we glided into different
paths
We left Paris behind us,
shivering in
golden moonlight
and headed
for the east coast
She felt a direct closeness to him and everything she felt when she was with him,
maybe it was the closeness to the sea that overlooked the sun

or


a setting on the coast that dimmed and shone every time the night came. From his window, she heard the waves
never dim
your own light to
allow others
to feel comfortable
you were
a hundred
open tabs
I didn't
have the
courage to
close
I believed your
heart was holy
because
every kiss
you gave
was heavenly
when i think of hope i think of light

but sometimes light can hide

it can hide in the shade becoming lost in it's own shadow

a seeping of it's beams pouring through, desperate to meet our skin

but

the very thing about hope is that we can only feel it when we bring ourselves closer to it, in attempt to,we find that light is everywhere around us,moving past us, waking us, illumanting us, cocooning us as we sleep.
if we are open, light can gift us hope and there we are forever touched by it.
i am in a state of  
existing in two halves,
one where you are and
one where time is the only thing
that differs between us.

Yesterday everything aligned,
even the birds called my name
and then it switches the way
the temperature does here,
mild and damp.
you gave me a star
but I wanted the galaxies
of your heart
my imagination endlessly plays

like a old vinyl record

waiting to be felt.
i strayed from a conventional path
because i listened to the echo of my intution
i listened to its call
to be free
underneath
the
city sun
i wanted to know the moon
every crater, every imperfection, every mark
so hollow and white
yet filled with days of experience
i became envious one night
of her need to be so far away but
see everything, still.
how she could never get bored, exist
only as a symbol and as a light source
and be

nothing
more.
if only,
I could
teach my
heart to love
you like a friend
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