It's a new year,
So new beginnings.
I'm still here,
But things will be different.

In with the new,
Out with the old.
My only resolution:
Stay warm when cold.

Who knows?
Maybe this year'll be fun?
Happy new year,
To everyone!

Disappearing isn't easy.
It takes time and effort
To stay away from everything
That you think helps
Because you're always itching to get back,
And it's always an inch away
From your fingertips
Because all you'd have to do is click a button,
And you're addicted.
Again.

Are we going to be
Dust?
Or shadows?

Will we be in the
Clouds?
Or the shallows?

Should we watch
From above?
Or below?

Will we fly
Or sink?

Will we laugh
And drink?

When the stars
Blink?

Will we cry
When they say goodbye?

Are we going to be
Cold?
Or just alone?

I want to know
When we die
Where do we go?

A lie will never become the truth.
And that is true to some extent.
However, to a person who does not know it is a lie,
For them it is the truth.
And if you believe enough in a lie,
It may start to become a reality.
Not all lies, but some.
Nevertheless, a lie will always remain a lie.
Even if one does not know it.

I can hear their whispers
Even when they think I can't
The rumours they spread
The lies they tell

It keeps on going on
And on
And on
I can't make it stop
It won't stop
It's driving me insane

But it's all that I hear

I see them looking at me with disgust
Because of the way I dress
They give me titles all day, everyday
Because of my intellect

It can go on
And on
And on
For as long as it wants
It may drive me insane
But I couldn’t care less

Even if it’s all that I hear

You can take the heart out of the girl,
.
.
.
But please give it back.
She needs it.
She needs it to feel.
Without it,
How can she love?
How can she be loved?
It's been so long,
Since she felt something real.
Since she was surrounded by people.
People who cared.
She can't do it alone anymore.
She's waiting for her one day.
So take it.
Take her heart,
But please, I'm begging you to give it back.

You can take the heart out of the girl,
.
.
.
But she'll want it back.
Even after everything she's done,
She's still human.
She doesn't want to be cold.
She's just trying to be strong.
So, if there's so much as even a crack,
She'll come.
She's been through too much,
Changed too much,
To give up,
The only thing holding her together.
She did because she needed validation,
From all the wrong people.
Her heart can't break anymore.
So take it,
Take her heart,
But trust me, she'll come to get it back.

Am I okay?
You keep asking
I keep saying
The same thing

I don't know anymore

I'm spiralling
And then I'm calm
And then I don't know
Again

In a hurricane
Stuck in the middles
Everything's rushing
Around me
And I can't think about it

I'm spiralling
And then I can breathe again
But not for long
'Cause then I don't know again

I don't know anymore

Am I okay?
You keep asking
I keep saying
The same **** thing

So am I okay?
You tell me
How do I feel?
Because
You do it anyway.

Am I okay?
Are we okay?
Are any of us,
Ever okay?
Tell me now,
So I can practice
Not being okay.

I'm not excited.
Nor am I nervous.
Not exactly worried, either.

Just plain scared.

A puzzle isn't complete without all its pieces.
Just like how my soul isn't complete without you.

"Are you okay?" They ask.
I think "I don't know. Am I?",
But instead I say "I'm okay."
It doesn't matter if I'm not
Because that's all I'll ever say.

"Are you okay?" They ask.
I force on a smile and nod,
But I'm not okay.
My eyes constantly water,
And my head always pounds,
While my thoughts become dark.

Somehow they can't see it.
See me flinch everytime I move.
Why would they?
I'm excellent at hiding things.

"Are you okay?" They ask.
"I'm okay." Is my reply.
But guess what.
I lied.

You can take the heart out of the girl,
.
.
.
And you can keep it.
You can stomp on it,
Break it into a million little, tiny pieces.
Do whatever you want.
She doesn't need it anymore.
She prefers to be dead inside.
Prefers to be numb.
Because feeling sad is overwhelming.
It's painful.
It's hard.
It's tiring.
She's tired.
So take it.
Take her heart,
Because it's too exhausting keeping it.

~

The bad parts of an experience are what make the best stories.
No one wants to hear you say 'I had a nice time. It was great.' And so on.
They don't want to hear the same thing over and over again.
They want a story no one else can tell them.
If all you experience is good things, you won't have a story to tell.

~

You can take the heart out of the girl,
.
.
.
And you can help fix it.
Give it something
So that it has more energy.
So that it can feel more.
She can't feel with her head.
It's too direct.
Too predictable.
But she's too tired to fix things.
She just wants to sleep,
Before her mind overloads,
And there's nothing left.
She's tired of using her mind,
But she doesn't care.
So take it.
Take her heart,
She doesn't use it anyway.

I talk to myself

So I can think to myself,
And so I think to myself,

What a horrible world.

'But why does it seem so pretty?'

Because beauty is the best disguise
For something so ugly inside.

The horrors of this world are a well-kept secret.

Darkened skies.
Grey clouds.

Waiting for the weather's cry.
It's going to be loud.

Rain falls.
Sun's far away.

That's not all,
Because the rainbow escaped.

Cold moon.
Dim stars.

It's about to end soon.
The ending's not too far.

There's beauty in pain
In tears
In scars
In fear

There's beauty in love
In war
In hope
In soul

There's beauty in woes
In sorrow
In smiles
In tomorrow

There's beauty in flaws
In mistakes
In glory
In fakes

There's beauty in Night
In Day
In you
Every single way

There's beauty in everything
Because everything is beautiful.

Sometimes a black dot in the middle of a page is
Just a black dot in the middle of a white page.
It's just that.
It doesn't have to be more than that.
Why do we have to complicate it?
Not everything needs a story.
We don't have to complicate everything.
We're just making it harder for ourselves.

So let that black dot be a black dot.
Don't look at as if it's life.

Because life isn't that simple.

One or the other,
I don't know.
I've stopped caring.

Let bygones be bygones
But when the blood is on your hands
You win some
You lose some
And then it goes wrong

Let bygones be bygones
Forget it even happened
But memories
And feelings
Don't fade away so easily

Let bygones be bygones
But when it goes wrong
It's your weight to bear
You will lose it all
Because life isn't fair.

Like a burning candle,
I melt.
Disappear right before your eyes.
Gone before you even notice.
                              That flicker you see
                                  The moment of hesitation
      Is me almost not wanting to leave
                 Almost
                                            I'll burn you
 Within a few seconds
                                       I'll burn down myself
     Within another
             Touch me and
                                          All you'll feel is pain
                                                            ­       I'm cold at first
                   But only because I'm so dangerous
                I'll hurt you,
Which is something I just don't want to do.

Water sticks to the sides.
A little push
And it falls.

Letters that go out at night.
A little slip
And it's gone.

Ropes that fray at the ends.
A little pull
And nothing.

Pencils that are too sharp.
A little pressure
And it breaks.

People that are close to the edge.
A little shove
And they disappear.