Every poet has their muse.....
Their destiny....
Their starfucked and always be..
Their never and forever thee...
Their darkness
And Their moonlight

HE

Their eternally
Their death of me
Their blood Red
Misery
Passion
And complexity
Their beat
Their heart
Their dedication
Their free

Their Narcosis
Magic and obsession
Perfection
Dreams
And Regretion
Their lust
Need
Wanting
And reflection
Their suicide
And submission
Their sleepless nights
And dreamless sleeps
Their ripped up letters
And crinkled sheets
Every poet their muse
Their want of We.....

Quotes and Prose
Forever,
HE

Every poet has their muse....
Ink blot hearts and poetry.....
Their midnight.....

MV

You will be
The death of me
And yet
I beg of thee

**** Me

Upon thy hand
Upon thy lip
Beat upon
Hip to hip
Grant me death
Sweet fantasy
Allow me die
For misery
Would be
To live
Without your touch
So grant me death
Upon your lust
To die
Bitten
Cheek to cheek
Blood from lip
****** and heap
Of clothing
Piled
Upon the floor
Grant me death
To die once more

La Petite Mort......

MV

I need a word
A word that means
More than
Miss
A word that shows
Need
Want
For a touch
A kiss
A word that can bring
Pain to life
And drive mind
Insane
I need a word
To snow and rain
A word more than
Distraught
Or die
I need a word
To dramatize
The ache
The murmur
The treachery
Of a beating heart
With memories
That I have yet
To silence
Forget
That I cannot
But weep
And let
Devour me
And keep my sleep
I need a word
Of ice and heat
Of marks
Upon his
Caramel skin
Scratches
Bite marks
Lend to pen
A word
Ye fairies
Of misery
Lend me a word
So I can see
The agony
Stained
Upon a page
Away from me
And lent to stage
A story
Play
Within
A book
Lend me word
So I may look
Outside myself
And free
Of me
Lend me word
Of Missing
He
Of broken
Jagged
Crooked lies
Lend me word
And lullabies
To end this
Ache inside my chest
Upon with pleasure
He did rest
Oh fates,  
Starfucked
And blatantly
Without
A word
Or ink
Or me...

Nothing
Invisible
Nothing will suffice
And so I end
Without words
Without ......

Goodnight........

MV

I fell asleep in darkness
Blankets over my head
Drifting on a memory
That moment
When you said

Hours and eyes open
Darkness killing me
Blankets suffocating
Destructive memory
It echoes
In the sunlight
You took it away from me
Looked me in the eyes

You never loved me....

Sitting up now
Playing this pretend
As if it was *******
All in my head
Take this part back
Tell me you were scared
Tell me you regretted
Cause you weren't prepared
To deal with this feeling
That you really loved

Tell me it was
That you do
You ******* did
That's all I want
That's enough.....

Broken.......

MV

He was a fire
A brilliant,
Burning lure
A devil

And I
Demon Wind
Feeding into him
Stroking his desire
To consume
Everything

Every bit of me
My sin
My choice,

I never needed heaven.....

Ashes when we met
Ashes and torment
A chaos of bliss
Apocalypse
His
Every kiss.......

Brilliant collisions
Sapphire skies
Everytime I'm with him
The world stills
Dies
And yet
Beat
Pounding
And soar
Comets through galaxies
Begging for more
Blackness
Beginnings
And visions of light
Destruction breeds love,

When demons unite.....

©MV

And I can't sleep
And I shouldn't write
But my heart's all wrong
And my head ain't right

And I struggle with
Shouldn'ts
With did you ?
And can'ts

I struggle with
Trying
To be more
Than I am

To give you less of my heart
And just
Physically
Try to lie
Through telling eyes
That this isn't
More to me

But you already know
And it's hypocrisy
Being real
While trying to hide
The caught up
Part of me

So I drown tonight
Listening to the echo
Of a moment
Taken back
And the darkness
That screams
Piercing in waves
Through the silence
Of night

Breaking I cry
But I'll be alright
You took it back
Regret
Understood
Suffocating
Trying to breathe
But it's hard cause I'm aching
And chest pains
Got me believing
I'll die
So I'll swallow this pill
**** it
Get high
Fall asleep thinking
Under blankets
Instead
Of that moment
That realness
Not in my head
But real
Such an *******
You can't take it away
I ******* love you
You gave it away
Willingly
And so it'll always be mine
Pretend What you will
But I won't lose my mind
I'll just sleep
Ever knowing
I was a beat
Of your heart
And you loved me
Sad
Slow
Falling Asleep.....

©MV

Medicated
Let me write
Trail your spine
With ink tonight

Ink of lust,
Love
Tongue as pen
Let me write
Until the end

Let me dot
Commas, indent
Let me chapters
Novels
Let
Me with print
And script
To write
Let me so
That
I just might

Fall asleep
In fairytale
There upon
A wishing well
There in curve
Upon your back
That I, your heartbeat
Ticker tack
Dreaming, lulled
By every beat
Let me write
So I may sleep

To Awaken
Wrapped
Within your arms
A story of
A lover's charm
And so a kiss
A silent stare
Let me write
So I may care
So I may softly
Linger there
High upon your every kiss

Medicated
Blissful
This
Writing
Please just let me write
So I May
Whisper
Sweet good nights
Till dawn
Till Sun
Sweet rain doth fall
And fog
Does tease
No thoughts, no more
Let me write

The end.....

©MV

Sleepless
Resisting the want to write
To ask
If he could hold me
Tight
Enough so I'd forget
The night
The lies
And the nevers...

Iced lips
And forevers
That were all in my head
Though you're the one
In bed  
Who said,
I ******* love you
All pretend....

I merely believed
The devil.....

And though it's true
The hurt is you
What I wouldn't give
To lay with you
Entwined
To laugh upon your lips
A kiss
My soul
And ever
If I did regret
It's only that
I believed you
When you said you did
And I still do

Who thought
You'd care?
But oh, it's true
You only push away
In fear ....

Whatever......

©MV

I want that night
3am
To shut him up
No need for
Pretend
Don't say it
Though I said that before
If you don't mean it
Not a single word
More...

Sidenote:
He fought me that night
Said he knew he didn't have to
That this was what he felt
And when I dismissed it
Even repeated himself....

He kissed me
Under blankets
Darkness
Without ***

Lies and pretending
The actor in his best
Role
In a drama
I'm crying tears
From rom com
To broken
I'm shattered
And feel
In all of my agony
*******
It was real
Wanting his arms
Though he
Loves me not
Still.....

©MV

Take me back to that night
So I can cover your lips
Stop you from speaking
Words and what ifs
Stop you from saying
What we both knew was true
But now has been twisted
To I never loved you

Take me back now
So I could reject
Tell you your funny
And that you'd regret
Tell you
You don't
Stop lying to me
Take me to moments
When I believed
In US,  WE

Take me back quickly
*******
And **** me
Leave me there
Living
And loving
Memory
Cause it was real
And your head isn't right
It was love
And it was more than ***
More than just midnights....

©MV

It was all in her head
She closed her eyes
Tears
Lies....

He hadn't just said
I ******* love you
He had also said
I know I don't have to
But I do
I ******* love you
He even asked her if she heard
And now ?!.....

Now, all regrets
Taking back words
He even liked poetry
That stated the same
Words said but not said
And falling
Insane....

It was too weird
But he kept her love notes
Asking for letters
Emotions she wrote
Now it was
I shouldn't of
I don't love you....

******* all *******
And he knew it too
But what could she do now?
What could she say?
So she fought back the tears
Pushed memory away...

She fell into her dreams
And woke to his smile
In that instance
In that moment
He was hers
He loved her
And love was ours....

Hours of dreams
And she wished for her death
Darkness his arms
And his kisses
All left
Only in dreams
As she, sadly,
woke again
This time

Nothing left....
All alone....

©MV

It was all in her head
The way he kissed her
Held her
That feeling
   Still burning
      In her chest
The ******* I love yous
   Lies
Taken back
  She cried

He slept
And she sat on the edge
The same one
She fell from
Holding on
Trying not to turn to dust

Dust
On the same page
Of a false memory
A stuttered heart beat
Starfucked
Incomplete

Can we pretend it was all a dream,
And you never said you didn't
You hadn't?
It was so much more
Than done......

His lips were ice
No long goodbye
He couldn't say
Stay.....

She left her heart
A reminder
In a red cap
Angel's halo
Her scent
And the soft
Slow
Pounding sound
Of her feet
On each creaky step

She didn't turn around.....

No more writing....
No more ink....

Just endless sleep
Atleast in dreams
He still loved her....
Or rather he actually did.....

*******
She still thought
It was real
Stupid
Girl
How could he love you?

© MV

I'm not pro specific races...
White, black, red
Means nothing to me
I'm pro love, life, peace
Humanity
I'm done with the negativity
Standing up
Only to be what you claim
Your against
Coming off the same
Racist
Discriminatory
And simply
Unknowingly
Adding more fuel
To hate
And giving more power
To minority
Oppression
And poverty
No
Enough of this stupudity
Humanity is the majority
Embrace individuality
Fight positively
And bring up
Your enemies
Blood drips red
On every color concrete
Don't feed into
Media
Sheep, you claim not
To ever be
But look at you
Following the crowd
You against me
Same opportunity
Same hood
Same class
Same bowl
We used to eat
I was the minority
And yet cloaked eyes
You speak
Come further than where
Your expected to be
Take another look
Inside
And free
Your mind from the evils
Of a hyped up personality
We are all one
One religion
One race
One humanity....

I'm done ....

©MV (drops mic)

Twenty till two
I was his
And he knew
As did I
With every raw
Slow kiss
With every still
Slow ******
That with every beat
Every breath
Every bite
And every gasp
We were so much more
Than lovers
Than souls
Than words

Than poetry .....

We were an eternity....
Starfucked....
A four lettered catastrophe....
We were love
We were lust
We were ever...

Every lifetime....
Till the next time...

I was his
He was mine
We were
Memory.....

©MV

If ever I needed
Tonight so it seems
I need but a minute

A minute to think
A minute to breathe
A minute to throw up my finger
A minute to scream

Day growing closer
Night far too short
Soon comes tomorrow
Tomorrow and thoughts

Thoughts of a moment
Stains on a soul
Thoughts of ifs
Whys......Goodbyes
Hellos

Stains ....sinner's kiss
Longing marks
Lusting bliss

Free me, treachery
Free me of thought
Drown me, misery
Twist your plot
Allow me entry
To one solid day
Free from thought
Pain

Four days till
Four days not
Four days still
I'm forgot
But won't forget
Four days out
The beating heart
Torn, without
A knowing thought
Into my hand
From blood
To blood
And so I stand
Screaming at the moon
Tonight

Erase this memory!

Half of me is living
Half of me, in three
Half of me
Grey and gone
Half of me....

And so I long
For Darkness

A moment
Just for tonight.....
For Me....

©MV

If ever I needed
Tonight so it seems
I need but a minute

A minute to think
A minute to breathe
A minute to throw up my finger
A minute to scream

Day growing closer
Night far too short
Soon comes tomorrow
Tomorrow and thoughts

Thoughts of a moment
Stains on a soul
Thoughts of ifs
Whys......Goodbyes
Hellos

Stains ....sinner's kiss
Longing marks
Lusting bliss

Free me, treachery
Free me of thought
Drown me, misery
Twist your plot
Allow me entry
To one solid day
Free from thought
Pain

Four days till
Four days not
Four days still
I'm forgot
But won't forget
Four days out
The beating heart
Torn, without
A knowing thought
Into my hand
From blood
To blood
And so I stand
Screaming at the moon
Tonight

Erase this memory!

Half of me is living
Half of me, in three
Half of me
Grey and gone
Half of me....

And so I long
For Darkness

A moment
Just for tonight.....
For Me....

©MV

Verse
Enough of it
I refuse to write
All I ever get us in
Trouble and sin
Noone understands
Brain takes up hand
Foolishly ruled by heart
I end
I start
I write my heart
But for reasons
Unknown
I write to fill the void
Alone
And temperamental
None the less
I give of me
My heart and yet
I give it up
No more ink
I rather sleep, to this
Unthink
Able and yet
not one more word
I rather unread
Unheard
They never listen
Anyway
Just prayer
Confession
Washing me away
They don't understand
From where I came
A mile in shoes
Up in flames
They only
With their evil stares
Judge me
For my being
Made by their Creator

I'm feared
The Devil

©MV

Are you happy?
When I'm on his lips....

Do you love him?
More, with every kiss.....

Has he hurt you?
When he's away....

Would you leave him?
I'd beg to stay.....

Do you miss him?
Every day....

He sounds perfect!?
Far from, I'd say....

Does he love you?
Don't really "*******" know....

Are you his?
Whenever he says so.....

Is he yours?
Every time....

His best feature?
His dragon, upper spine....

How does he ******?
Lipstains and blood...

How shall you survive him?
I won't, starfucked love.....

©MV

Some days just feel like
They aren't worth the breath........
Constantly praying,
hoping for strength
Super cape on
Doing my best
But I'm called to the window
Lost in the stress
Thinking I'll fly
Finally at rest
Cause the thought of the darkness
Has me obsessed
Numb on the concrete
Cold to the rest
Flashbacks and spiraling
One last test
Hold on for the sirens
Give in to the light

Someone says mommy
And my head gets right
No flying from windows
Who would I be?
The mother who jumped?
They wouldn't understand me...
And I'd be the one
Who lost in the end
Every moment
They'd have to pretend
They'd have to light candles
In memory of me
But then what kind of mother
What kind
Would I be

So I hit my tea like some hit *******
I crochet anger away
And the pain
I take off the cape
And just give them plain me
Knowing I'm faulted and bruised
Like the sea
Calm but a force
Destructive but life
I give them their mommy
In spite of my strife.....

Loving them

©MV

I miss you
You ******* know I do
But what good is missing
When you're not missing me too

You weren't mine
I knew that much
But you told me you loved me
And I connected your touch
To emotions
And realness
But it was all lies
Now you're caught up
In krystals
And milky white thighs
She's not even pretty
She doesn't love you
But it's all about *****
And I ******* knew it too

I'm ranting forgive me
But I'm missing you so
The fact that it's over
And I've let go
No
I won't be returning
This time I'm done
I can't be up at night
Yearning
While you're out having fun
Ignoring
My need for you
My hoping for some
Of your attention
Your kisses
But I'm not the one....

******* all *******
Lover, you see
Was a ******* pretend word
That meant down to **** me
To feed me your false words
To make me believe
I was exclusive
You were a thief
Stealing my heart, the very essence of me
Leaving me dead
In an ocean of see
See you with her
See you without me
See you enjoying
See you ******* free
See you forgetting
Every curve every shape
Every moonlight
Every midnight and hate
Hate that it's easy
That it was pretend
Hate that I'm writing
It doesn't seem to want
To end

Type type
Finger to screen
Broken
Shattered
Wanting only to scream
**** it
A sigh
Putting it down
All that's left
Always
The tears of this clown...........

© MV

I'll describe it to you
Slow
Scrolled comforter
Warm sheets
Pillows
His skin
Silk against my own
Caramel, sweet on the tongue
Licking my lips as I write
I can still taste him
We were in it
Lost in our own little world
Thrusts and moans
Darkness
Scented candlelight
No words
And then, it began to explode
From black, to Red, to blur
His face never far from my own
Hand on my throat
Choke
And then
A kiss
Different and slow
Hard yet tender
A bite, a lick
Lost in that kiss
The rhythm changed
He pressed his forehead to mine
Eye to eye
Nose grazing nose
Slow
Every second slow
Every moment connecting
Soul
He said it all
Without saying a word
Every motion
Screamed out
Love
Every swirl
A letter of his name
Etched with every sigh
Deeper and deeper
Embedded in my heart
And there I lay
Gasping
Trying not to cry
Realizing why
The old saying goes
Love hurts
It's true you know
It destroys you
In the most beautiful way
And so there I lay
Destroyed
Alive
In Love

And so I can write....
I Lived ..... Once...
One day....One midnight...
Before I died.....
His ❤

©MV

Pounding like thunder

      Every beat of my heart

      You read you ignore

      You tear me apart

      Yet I'm sitting here

      Foolish, lashing out on myself

      Knowing I shouldn't

      But I need it...to spell

      My hope, and my lust

      My falling in love

      Like an itch

      From a needle

      A snort of your drug

      Cause I'm spinning

      I'm drowning

      I'm lost in heart beats

      Hearing your voice

      As I'm falling asleep

      Wishing for darkness

      Grim reaper for peace

      Living ain't worth it

      I got it on lease

      Now I'm up for a trade in

      New model, New me

      But you know how it goes

      It's just a pricier fee

      So I'm walking around

      like you don't phase me

      Knowing you own me

      My heart and my head, see

      Even these lyrics ain't making sense

      How do I say what I mean

      At best

      A simple I love you

      No wait...so much more

      Crying

      Pounding my head on the floor

      Needing your arms your love

      And your lips

      The grind and the swivel

      The pounding of hips

      **** it I'm over

      Out and without

      **** up these lyrics

      **** them with doubt

      Think of me never

      Add it to song

      You knew I was falling

      That's it

      **** this song.......

     © MV

I blame my fingers
More than my heart
It speaks silently
While fingers
Loudly shout
On pages and on smartphone screens
Typing out
What my heart has tried
To keep
Under secrecy
Tearing me apart
Ripped sheets
As I push upon their mercy
No writing
No typing
No
But once it settles
Heart at steady
Fingers
Stab and jab
And so
They write
They question
They put into play
Heart
Attacks
Slows
Worries
Replays
And braces itself
For the come what mays
The consequences
Of heart betrayed
By finger stains.....

©MV

Careful what you say to her when she's under the covers...
When her hair is a mess and her face without colors....
Careful how you talk when she's feeling like she's nothing...
When she's eating a piece of cake or something really fattening....
Careful that you never break her fragile heart...
It took her quite some time, to get back to this  start....
To allow herself to be the real her, all exposed...
To actually eat, cause she couldn't, not even toast.....
It took a lot of courage to forget the things he did.....
A knife to her throat....
"Shut up *****"...
To learn to run from harmful things....
Careful how you address her,
And how you hold your tone....
Making her feel fat and ugly
Stupid and alone....
She may cry for a moment
But careful
It's what you don't see
Her thoughts and contemplations
"A life without me"
Careful cause she'll do it
Abusing misery
A few pills and an earl grey
Her final remedy
She'll swallow up the light
And rest upon the sea
Of stars and moons
And midnights
Careful
She will finally be free

And then maybe you'll understand
Maybe you'll finally change
And for once
In all this insanity
Things will never be the same......

©MV

Poetry.....

Stitching your heart together
On paper
Smearing blood
Upon crisp white
Sheets
Swirling images of life
With raw
Stained fingertips
Dying
To feel its beat...

Poetry.....

©MV

Touch me
So that I might
Finally
Inhale
Tonight

Barely Breathing .......

©MV

I'll tell you what it's like....
You'll smile at the thought of him
His whisper will convince you
That fire is pleasurable
Your heart will pound for him
And his, will calm your spiraling soul
You'll fight and try to hide your love
But it will flow out of you like water
Every wall, crumbled
He will control you
He will bend your neck to suit him
Tug at your hair
Control your breathing
Limit your air
You'll beg for death
Upon his lips
Only so that his
Could be your final kiss
You'll miss and ache
The moment you part
The soreness, the sweetest
Memory
And your heart?!
Will never again be
Even slightly yours
And you will long
To stay forever heartless
As long as it meant
You belonged to him
Eternally
Though it may just be
For a moment
A second
His......

©MV (drafting)

It was start of March
The beginning of rains
I was on top of him
****
Blankets around my waist
******* exposed
His taste
Still sweet
Inside my cheeks

We were talking
In the midst of it all
We were laughing
And joking
And play fighting

I was in love with him.....

I giggled against his lips
And he pulled the blankets up
Over our heads
Dark and so hot
We could almost lose our breath

He kissed me slow
His fist in my hair
He tugged me up
And then
He whispered in my ear
"I ******* love you"
I let out a sigh
Holding back tears
I wouldn't cry

Instead I pretended
I hadn't heard
Just to hear it again
Sure of his words

He repeated it
Then I begged him shut up
"You don't have to say it"
I felt it
Enough

I didn't want another lie
He looked me in my ******* eyes
"I know I don't have to, but I ******* do"
He said it again
"I ******* love you"

And with that
I let go
And let him catch me
"I ******* love you too"
And that's the memory
Of the night
I can say
I loved most truly
Still actually do
Though now
It's only
As stated above
A memory
Of the night
I fell .... Red

©MV

Once upon a Midnight
The one before Mischief
I met an Angel
Dressed in Crimson

A perfect halo on his head
Dragon wings
On either side
Of his spine
Offered me wine
Beer, A drink
He mixed a potion

Tv, talked
As if is his intent
Was purely and strictly
Innocent
But oh,  what eyes
The bedroom kind
A smirk , A smile
His lips
Divine
Holy heavens
I did crave
Just his lips
And my name
He whispered
Holy water
Rain
I was drenched
In sin and pain
Aching for his
Heavenly
Touch of skin
But more importantly
To feel his golden cross
Against my teeth
Wings and silk
And heated sheets

Love and lust
Fluttered
Heartbeats
Falling slowly
Fast asleep
In the arms of the
Angels
Now that song's on repeat
Caramel candy
And I'm craving him
Sweet

I met him that night
Right before Halloween
Candy and pumpkins
Just Do it
They screamed
Masks to the floor
And I'm dreaming the scene
I knew I'd get burnt
But his lips spoke of dreams

Red Angel
Hell's fire
I loved every taste
Scorched Ashes
What a love
I could never replace
The night
I fell for his charms
And his grace

Madly
In love......

With the Devil......

Only God can judge me........

©MV

Before they seal the coffin shut
Let me memorize his face
Touch his skin just one last time
Trace his silk, navy tie
Let me my memory
Leave behind
That I never
Said goodbye
Nor I love you
Just one more time
Wait a moment
Please
A little more time

The stuffed TY (beside your head)
A duck from me
I'll always remember
It was ET
Duffus, Wrestling and **** Thead
How can I forget?
Mike Myers, Freddy and the 13th
Gremlins, trolls and in between
A Weird Al song
And gasoline
We set the world on fire

We skated ice
And ran in rain
In underwear
One in the same
Skateboards
Superman
And Choo choo trains
Fights
You were a liar

My brother
Peeing in apple juice bottles
Talking to rice krispies
Milk in hair
My best friend
Firecrackers
Sling shots
Everywhere
Even apart
Not far behind
Wait a moment longer
I can't leave him
He's mine

I'm crying
Holding on
Like those moments
On the red carpet stairs
Chubby cheeks
Wet eyes
Mohawks and double dares
Pretending we didn't care
But we cried
At each goodbye
Why? Why?
No....
I don't want to let go...
Don't shut it yet
No....
It's too dark inside...
Please please
Open your eyes
I have to be dreaming
Come back to life

Shattered and screaming
The coffin is closed
They're holding me
Spinning out of control
Too young, too soon
The good always go
But I wasn't ready
It just can't be so...

A blurred ride and rain
As they lower you
Slow
Goodbye
What's goodbye?
I want hello
I'll never forget
12 years or so
I swear it was yesterday
Still can't finish...
Still won't.....No!!

©MV

Press play
Rewind
Pause
There
Right there
Play
Darkness
Smiled as he kissed me
"I ******* love you"
Rewind
Play again
"I ******* love you"
Stop
Cry
Rewind
Lost in, if only....
Rewind

Memories......

©MV

Music loud
Steamed shower doors
Drowning out
His memory
Eyes open
I don't want to be
In the darkness
Where he told me
He ******* loved me
No I don't want
The replay
But songs aren't helping
"Say something"
I've given up
Steamed shower doors
Heart stains ****
Mildew
Left behind
A memory
And I
Can't help but force my eyes
Blind to the reality

That I'm without you.....

©MV

I write too much
Because You,
Don't write at all...

©MV

Wish I could erase
The memory of this
Mistake
Regret....

© MV

The truth and compassion is barely hidden behind the glint in his eyes..
The kindness is concealed in the strength of his embrace..
The love multiplies with the simple caress of his hand on the body..

And yet I'm drawn back to his face
The emotion saw raw
I want to reach out to him
Letting him know
It's ok to let me in
To drown in the hollow
Of my breast
To allow me his tender rest
His hair carressed upon
My pounding heart
He plays the role of in control
But I'd have him fall apart
To let me in through crevices
Where once was stone
His heart ......

A collaboration with Tara Cook

©TC (1)
©MV(2)

I need a moment with my muse....
I need shadows in candlelight...
I need a "You're so ******* beautiful"...
To feel it, for a night.....
I need the pain as he bites me...
The taste of blood within my lips...
Only to be soothed by the gentle way
He slows his every kiss...
I need his searching fingers
And his lip stains on my skin
I need his cross upon my tongue
I need to relish in his sin....
I need a moment with my muse...
I'm dying fast inside
It seems without his smirk
I'm more dead than I'm alive
Just a few slow
Long hours
I swear,
I can't think
To even write.....

Unless it is about him
Then that's all there is
All night
Writing of my longing
Writing of this want
Writing to forget him
Though with writing
Not forgot
I swear
A tiny moment
So I can shut my eyes
Paralyzed upon his heart
Warm against his thighs
I just want to inhale him
A little piece of him
So that I may live a tad bit longer
To write of him again....
Though, I'm tired of writing missings
I rather write of memories
Newer and not old ones
They're fading
Don't you see....
I'm starting to diminish
My luster,
Getting dull
I need a moment with my muse
I need a moment to feel whole

Within his arms
To taste him
I'm a ranting
Lunatic
Moons and mainly midnights
Do drive me to be sick
Without him I am aching
A moment only
Please
Begging
Not an issue
I'm happy on my knees
Praying for his pleasure
Pleasing to be his
Simply
All I really need
Is a moment
That never ends.......

©MV (scribbling)

I feel the need
To type hello
To ask if you want company
I feel the need
To keep it short
To slightly tease
To arouse your curiosity
I feel the need
To shave my legs
To cutely dress
To match my bra to my *******
I feel the need
To ready myself
For an answer
I've yet to receive
I feel the need
To hope
That you'll finally
See me
I feel the need
To sleep
Because you never reply
Why can't I be the guy?
Why can't I just ignore...
Not feeling the need
To adore
To miss or to love
Why can't I just feel the need
To give up?
Why can't I give less of me?
Why can't I feel the need for more?
Alas, I'm bound to this heart....
I feel the need
To rip it out of my chest
To allow myself rest
To fall apart......

©MV

Now is forever
Was never a faith for me
When you're free,  if ever
We are free
And if I appeal to you
In some broad way
Then we will prove
That something gold can stay

Glimmering simply
Glimmering? Nay
If free we are ever
Then gold cannot stay
Cause staying is forever
And faith is by day
But by night
It is light and
Flame that we crave
So stay if by candle
For shadows remain

Are the shadows as important as the light,
In the future that we don't mention outright?

Shadows are the memories
The ones we've yet to make
Shadows are the forever
In the faith you claim to hate
No, not hate but
Never pray
Shadows are the moments of ever
When candle by breath met death
And took my breath away
So yes
Think not of light
But what is left
In darkness and your lingering
Breath

We do cling to this breath
But why I cannot say
Being neither the mind's heaven or hell
I know little of shadows
I only live by them
And once over then forever over?
Then while we live, we'll live in clover
For when we die we die all over

To wake again by candle's flame
For that's the nature of this game
To love and lust
And linger here
In shadow's breath
And tangled hair
In clover fields and bales of hay
Lovers always, never stray
Ever always
Though they go
Back together
It's all they know
And so my love of little faith
Of never forever
And doubting place
Gold though it glimmers
Dulls with age
But broad
Your appealing memory
Stains
My heart and my mind
My soul does so claim
This glorious reason for angels
Insane
Hell and its fire
Your mouth is my rain
Kiss me
And ever
Forever
Proclaim.....

A collaboration with the lovely
                Joseph Paris
© (stanza 2,4,6)MV
© (stanza 1,3,5)JP

Kiss me, that tonight might pause....
And this moment, frozen,
shall be alive, only by us...
That it may be eternal between two lovers
Till sweet blue lit dawn
And then, again at dusk....
Kiss me once again...
Another frozen time...
Allow with me these forevers...
These standstills......
your soul lost without mine....

©MV

I'm livid with you Sandman...
You tease and taunt too much...
You let me rest upon his heart
Then wake me with a ******...
Never enough dreaming
You only sprinkle sand...
An hour is mere seconds
You surely understand
And yet you show no sympathy
No slowing down with sleep
And so I'm meant to be satisfied
With blurred, fast forwards,
Of his heat....
No, no Sandman
It's not enough
I'm happy there, you see
I'd rather be in dreamland
Idealistic reality
Lost within his arms
Twisted in his sheets
Sighs, our only language
Never a need to sleep
Never a need to stifle
Emotions, wants, needs
Never a need to question
To watch the clock
To leave
And yet it always ends
And I wake to chirping birds
Never knowing such a hate
Hate, not a strong enough word
For I try so hard, with haste
To fall back into your world
But I'm lost without direction
Wrong turns and insecure
Sandman, I do loathe you..
Your work is 10%
Never am I impressed
I'm always longing for your best
Awake, awake
I'm done with you....
You bring me back to him!!!
Awake, my heart's without him
Weeks before I'm his...
Pray, take me there, I beg you...
I'll settle on blurred heat
Just lay me in his arms
His kiss and tongue, so sweet...
Pray take me there and leave me
A moment longer, please this time
Enough to wake and make it through
Till the next time he is mine.....
Till the next time in reality
I can trail chest with fingertips....
And lose myself upon the edge of dream
And....hmmm...
Wait Sandman, I apologize
I only saw it now
Reality is dreaming
Dreaming is the how....
For am I not dreaming
When in his arms I'm found,
drifting into sleep....
Softly snoring on his chest...
Oh my, my sweet sweet Sandman
You simply are the best....
Not only do you allow me dreams
You grant them whilst I'm awake
You let me relive memory
And that is why I wake
So that I may feel them really
So I may of them taste
So I may sleep most peacefully
I'm sorry I used hate...
Drift, I'm dowsing Sandman
Rambling through this weight
Of heavy lids and eyelashes
This sleep that calls,
He waits.......
And so I'm off because of you
Sweet sand envelope me
I realized, I thank you
Sweet slumber
All for me......

©MV

I love the darkness
And yet tonight
I almost wish for Dawn
For darkness or rather
Night itself
Away from you is wrong
And rather long and lonely
I do detest it so
Insomnia has doomed me
And I want for dreams but
No
Tonight I cannot see you
And darkness teases me
That I am not upon you
Warm within your heat
That I am not upon your lips
Your heart not upon my own
I swear I wish for only light
Cause darkness feels alone
But only because I'm without you
Heaven knows that's only why
Cause with you
In our darkness
I live as if I'd die
I know inside our blackened bliss
The reason for my heart
That passion exists
That souls are real
And so I fall apart
Cause tonight I breathe
My own breath
And wish it was your sigh
Wish I was atleast a thought
That you, too, longed for me
That darkness haunted you
Sweet memories of sin...
Love, dawn is much too far away
Your heart cries out for mine
But we both toss and turn instead
Never paying it much mind
And yet I know you feel it..
And so I'll try to sleep
But sadly I'd much rather
Listen to your heart beat...

©MV

And I'll write myself
Asleep with you
If only for it to be true
Upon the pages
Of this book
Forever written for all eternity

©MV

She wanted his arms
His breath in her ear
She wanted his heartbeat
To disappear
She longed for twilight
Hated the dawn
Missed him in moments
Far away for too long
Her heart ached
She reached out
But nothing to say
She faded still hoping
He'd light up her day
But walls kept him guarded
To proud to say hey
I miss you too
But likes are ok
Silent words...

©MV

I refuse to fall
Screaming from the floor
I'm already crawling
Scratching at the wall

I refuse to fall
But I smiled at the spin
The glorious tornado
Of your luscious sin

I refuse to fall
Blood on my hands
As I prepared for the landing
Palms to withstand

I refuse to fall
And yet with a bang
I fell almost too hard
To understand

That I had fallen at all
But then one night
As I let go of your fingers
And tried to fight
I felt a pull
To turn around

At that point
On the ground
I smiled at you
And you pulled me back

A kiss.....

And Wack
My heart skipped a beat
A heart attack
Cause I fought
The good fight
But could never win
And so in spinning
I fell victim
To the love
Of Him......

©MV (medicated poetry)

The job of a muse isn't easy
He has to keep me alive
Heart beating
Yet **** me
So I can feel both
Love and misery
So I can write
In darkness
Of its beauty
To live with a broken heart
To die of love
So truly
To breathe death
Within my lungs
And know fragments
Pieced
Are purely

Poetry....

©MV

Warning: Writing slightly explicit
These hoes ain't loyal....Hmmmmm!
My thoughts:

Now I love this song,
but something must be said
These hoes ain't loyal
But she was in your bed
Talking all this ****
Bout a purse
And 9
But you weren't thinking this
Working your 5
Licking her spine
Telling her you love her
And this *** is mine
Acting like a saint
Yet you da one who knew
Huggin in your bed
Calling her your Boo
Oh, she da ***?
***** what the **** is you?
Yet she da one texting
Thinking on you
Maybe you don't understand
Words got you confused
Looking for a man
One without abuse
No games no lies
Tired of being used
You calling her a ***
But she the one you choose
Over and over
Your familiar chick
You trust, you lust
You lick her ****
Yea fine
Spit it ... ***
But every single time
It takes two you know
Even from behind....

And if she is that
Own up to it too
You ain't the only one
******* with a ***
Rotate, Flipped....
You's a *** too....

©MV

Hard enough to let you go
To quiet your whisper in my head
To drown out the echo of what was
but wasn't said

Hard enough to sleep each night
To dream about your kiss
Of angels dressed in red
Of spines and twisted sheets

Hard enough to wake alone
To slow my every breath
Racing heart and skipped heartbeats
Yearning throbs
And wet

Tears upon my cheeks
As I ache for ever rest

Hard enough to smile through pain
And give the world my best

And yet not as hard as what's to come
To think of you
Less and less
To slowly forget the sound of your voice
The taste of your tongue
And less
The way you kissed and stopped this life
For a moment
And less
Under covers laying against your chest
That smile that I swore was just for me
And less
Wind and snow and bluelit dawns
Puppets
And less
The love of you
The love of me
The us that never was
except within those moments
Of stars and fog and sun
Of laughs and chips
And cake batter lips
Less and less
Losing memories

Hard enough to remember
Hard more to let memory die peacefully.....

MV

Do you think it would be ok
If i pretended
This never was
That this pain
This red
This blood
That none of it ever happened
That I wasn't losing you
That this pain
Was not you slipping
Dying
Losing you...
Would it be ok
If i just sat and cried
Forgot about the love
Not knowing ifs or whys
Not trying to be selfish
Just trying to get through
You were barely
Even there
And now
I'm losing you
Sitting
Feeling
Knowing
Nothing I can do
Wishing I had
Even for a moment
Got to see you
Your eyes
Your lips
What can I say
From forward out
Each day New
But never the same
I'll be without you
A heart beat
That only I knew
But now,
Now lost
Without you
An angel of snow
And it flurries too
Every time snow
I'll never forget you
Though I didn't know
Always
I'll love you.....

©MV

Can't sleep
My mind echoes
Memories
And giggles

Can't rest
My heart races
Nights on the couch
A hand full of aces

Twisting and turning
Should I let you go?
My brain says yes
My heart
Always
No

So I'm caught up
Cause I feel drawn
Moth to a flame
Like the Janet Jackson song
Blind to the fact that you're MIA
No reason
No contact
These games you play

Twisting me
Unsure
And yet
I close my eyes
Just like before
And your smirk
Those "*******" words
I swear I'm possessed
Better yet
Cursed

I feel you
Relentless
You whisper to me
Deny it
Hide it
You call out to me
Subconsciously
Unwillingly
Your heart to mine

I try not to write
But the mighty Divine
Takes hold of my fingers
And bids me take ink
So I draw up your lashes
Lips in pink
Caramel skin
And a beating heart
Praying that page
From art to my heart
Comes to life in my hand
So I'm not alone

Cause I'm desperately missing
The way that you moan
The way that you bit me
And left behind
Your signature
Signed with bruising
My spine
Licked with fire
Of passionate sin

What was the point of this
Poem again?

Oh yes, I remember
To just let you know
I'm wanting you ever
And needing you so
Missing you desperate
Like a chronic hit
Of a pill that releases the pain
Of this pit
Blackness within me
That you seem to calm
Guess in the end it's all like a song

A tattered old record on constant repeat
Skipping in scratches
Yet we long for it's beat
Needing to hear it
To sing along
Wanting to dance
Like smoke from ****
Illusions seared into memory
What the **** is wrong with me?

If you wanted to
You would most likely call
Maybe a sticker
A text
But nah
Nothing
And yet
Here I am still

Green light
I type
You're off
And a chill
Races throughout
My body, so cold
Done with this poem
It's getting old
Who am I kidding?
I'll be back at it
At 3
I demand the fates
Bring you to me
But starfucked
I'm stupid
Cause I know in the end
I can't help but thinking
This was all just pretend.....

©MV

I wonder if you think of me
Do you lay in bed and drift
Do you find yourself aching for my touch,
The taste of my lips
The scent of my hair,
My skin, curve of my hips

Do you ever repeat them,
You know, those words
Do you ever pull the covers over your head
And whisper them into the darkness
Like that night,
I pretended I hadn't heard
Just so you would say them again
Which I'm sure you already know

Do you ever want to write,
To tell me you miss me so
Do you toss and turn all night
Remembering my smile
Though I had to go

Do you remember my tongue on your spine
Tracing your Dragon
Do you bite your lip, close your eyes
Do you lose yourself within thought
Of thighs and sighs,
That smirk and intense gaze
Do you ever say my name

How about when it rains,
When the winds howl,
Do you ever feel me on your skin
A soft caress of perfect sin
Does your heart do flip flops
As you try to fight its want
Listening more to head than gut
If only I knew, if I still got you hot
If you even slightly thought
Or rather, missed, a want

If I was more than just nights of passion
And singularly
If you ever felt slightly
Enamored of me...
Do you ever?
Are you now,
Hopefully....

Don't forget
Promise
Sometimes
Think of me?

©MV